spectrespeaks

Latest Posts by spectrespeaks

A reminder that if you didn’t need a mobility aid you wouldn’t be day dreaming and fantasizing about how they would help you navigate the world and that no matter how much internalized ableism you hold it won’t change your reality about your conditions and you SHOULD do what is best for you because no one will punish you more than yourself if you keep ignoring your needs

Shoutout to the “gross” disabled people.

Shoutout to my homies who puke

Shoutout to my homies with ostomies

Shoutout to my homies with catheters

Shoutout to my homies who drool

Shoutout to my homies with facial disfigurements/differences

Shoutout to my homies in diapers

Shoutout to my homies who struggle with personal hygiene

Shoutout to every disabled person who’s ever been called “gross”

Y’all are beautiful and perfect the way you are. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise

anyway

None of this would’ve been an issue if I just killed myself at 16

if you’re a wheelchair user who takes the bus i wish you an easy time getting on and off and no one arguing about you needing the space

sorry for showing symptoms of the disorder i told you multiple times I have. Do you want me to kill myself?

why do i have to be happy for you. im not.

well okay that's not entirely true. im happy that you're happy. i'll always be grateful for your happiness. but jesus fucking christ why why why WHY can't i have the same things you have and why can't you just be mine.

oh well. that's what drugs are for.

Disabled person: *exists* Able-bodied person™️:

(ID in alt)

I genuinely hate when people start harping on slow walkers.

Sometimes, there’s a reason we’re walking slow. Some of us have cerebral palsy, some of us have chronic pain, some of us are walking slow so you don’t notice our gait ataxia.

SOME OF US ARE DISABLED AND ARE PHYSICALLY UNABLE TO WALK ANY FASTER.

Whatever the reason, taking 5 more seconds to wait for the person to get to where they’re going is not going to kill you. Chill out, suck it up, and learn to not be so impatient.

i don't even think they KNOW they're my fp at this point. ive told them before. so they either forgot or they don't give a fuck.

so glad you have an entire fucking polycule to lean back on while im drowning for your fucking attention lolololol

thanks for actually answering my texts FP now i wanna kill myself even more !! 🙃

Taking care of the disabled and injured is human nature actually. We have evidence of our ancestors caring for folks with disabilities. We're a cooperative species that takes care of their own. If our starving, weary, and hunted ancestors could care for the disabled members of their tribe, in this era of modern medicine and abundant resources we absolutely can afford to do the same.

my first favorite hobby is yapping. second is being extremely quiet and not talking ever at all ever.

I hate that there's no way to be disabled that people will accept.

If you show joy, or acceptance in your disability, you're not really disabled and no one will take you seriously when you do complain and well it can't be that bad and oh I'm sure you're used to it.

But if you're miserable then you're whiny and annoying and people hate that it's "all you talk about" and its always ugh you're always tired and can we please stop talking about this it's making me depressed and oh I'd kill myself if that happen to me.

If you're happy you have everything figured out and don't need help anyway but if you're miserable you're a whiny bitch that can't just suck it up. There's no winning

"playing with my toys" and the toys are concepts

Can we normalize disabled people experiencing human emotions?

So often ableds expect me to act like a perfect little inspirational angel, when in reality I’m a human with emotions like the rest of y’all.

I don’t want to have to smile after you tell me you’d kill yourself if you were in my situation.

I don’t want to grin and nod while you treat me like a child and pet my hair.

I don’t want to laugh it off when you tell me about your friend who had my condition and died.

I don’t want to generously share my deeply personal medical history with a stranger I just met on the street.

I want to cuss and call you out on your BS, not sit compliantly in my wheelchair like a sweet little angel.

good morning i feel like seven dollars

ever since i was a child ive known that i wanted to, someday, be the mutilated corpse on a nature trail that ruins a hikers week

I feel like i am years behind the people my age. All the work i have done in the past has lead up to nothing. Amounted to only me rotting in my bed, in my house, with not even the will to go outside because whats the point? I hear people tell me to move on, thats life, i can make new memories, new friends, new places to see. But how can i when all i can do is lament on how different life could have been. When all i do is ruminate on the things ive left behind and how cruel the world is to continuously take it from me, i with a weakened grip. A grasp so light on the new things i have because i know it will just be taken from me again and again. When does it ever stop being so painful? If it will be taken from me, whats the point of having anything at all. I do nothing but deteriorate the things i do have because of this, like a curse of touch. It saddens me. I wish life had been different

and I want to do things. I really do. I want to make friends and go places but. Theres a certain point where it gets just so tiring. Im tired of getting to know people. Im tired of people trying to get to know me. Im tired of being betrayed, being hurt, having my trust misplaced. Im years ahead on this distaste i have towards other people, but im so far behind people my age. I barely know the first thing about insurance. Im not even relatively independent. I have my mother help me on taxes. Fuck im not even doing a real online college course yet. Im not great at drawing. Im not famous. I dont like tiktok, or social media algorithms. I dont like being known. Is there anything I can be that’s substantial in life?

my younger self would have thought of me a disappointment

Sorry I thought it was attractive when you said you'd stalk me irl and online, find out all my likes and dislikes, and threatened to find me and make all my friends disappear... do you still think I'm cute?

sorry for obsessively refreshing your blog every chance i get for any new posts or information retaining to you, it will happen tomorrow and the day after that and maybe even for a few weeks or months and for forever just as long as i can keep watching you like this…

sorry i can’t come i’m too busy hurting my own feelings over nothing

doc there is a fucking hole where something was

rb to tell prev they're being so brave right now and pat their head a little please

yea well im possessed and its yours

negative affirmations

I can be worse

I still have time to fuck things up

I can kms any time I want

do you guys also ruin every good thing in your life or is that just me

No babe, ur knife collection is totally cool I just think it’d be hotter with my blood on it