There’s A Rule In Metropolis, If You Piss Off Superman, You Deserve What Comes Next. Cool Art Btw Op.

This must be what happens when poison ivy forms a gang

Absolutely dumb 🤣

Know the feeling, i couldn’t study because i could hear them from my old apartment’s ceiling.

Rating mental breakdown spots in Gotham

Gotham subways: 5/10. Can blast emo music through your headphones. Train occasionally stalls. Other passengers too burned out to notice you. 

Gotham U: 10/10. You're likely not the only one. School mascot hands out free tissues. 

Batburger: 8/10. Semi-public depending on seating. Tears make the fries soggy. Line cooks are wrestling in the background. 

Crime Alley: 0/10. People think you're drunk. You're a prime mugging target. Kids laugh at you.

Sewers: -2/10. Smells bad. 50% chance of Croc attack. 

Iceberg Lounge: 3/10. Judgy rich snobs. Bathroom full of people doing coke. Drinks too expensive to drown yourself in. 

Wayne Gala: 4/10. Also judgy rich people. Must dress formally. Can't stick your head in chocolate fountain. Dick Grayson will become your therapist whether you like it or not. 

I’m not even a gothamite anymore and refuse to die unless I see his stupid face in the obituaries or on the news.

HC that the average life expectancy in Gotham is actually four years higher than the national average because they collectively just keep refusing to die

He’s got an animal theme, wears red and black, has a no killing rule, knows how to swing. Someone is getting a pair of tights

Who wins? Spider-man or Batman?

A tourist just asked me if we actually do the “it’s a bird, it’s a plane thing”, had to explain that’s just something that happened in one of the first video recordings of Superman. But ironically it is a bit of a running gag in some parts of metropolis.

Seems good

Alright ima write a little story for no reason

Spider-man in Gotham

Spider-man is zipping around, doing tricks mid-air as he tries to stop rhino from robbing the bank as he sees rhino charging into the vault. Then out of nowhere spider-man punches rhino, sending him back a few feet.

“I’m gonna be in so much trouble for punching an endangered species…”

Rhino then got up, wiped some dust off his chin and stared at spider-man

“Little spider trying to stop me from robbin’ the bank, huh? Go home.”

“What’s that?”

*Spider-man points to nothing, rhino falls for it€

*And then a fight breaks out, spider-man zips to rhino, punching his chin as he kicked him in the face. Rhino hits spider-man off of him, knocking him back. Then, rhino picks up a whole car and throws it at spider-man. Spider-man catches to car to save some nearby civilians, and then rather than throwing it back at him, he just… puts it down and continues by webbing up rhino’s arms.*

“I see you have good insurance, eh, rhino?”

“Shut up!”

*Rhino then charges at spider-man, spider-man dodges and then spider-man tries to shoot webs at rhino’s back to keep him from running through buildings… he fails as rhino runs toward the vault, slamming into it. The vault doesn’t break due to the durability of it, as the bank being robbed happens every Tuesday. It is theorized by some that the supervillains are friends and they have a certain schedule, like a 9/5 job but you steal shit and murder people.*

*Spider-man then taunts rhino, trying to get his attention*

“Come on, don’t do that, you’re bigger than that! I mean genuinely look at you you’re built like the brick walls you slam through. No way you’re natural-“

*That was enough. Rhino ran up to spider-man and tried to punch him in the face, he dodges (cause he’s spider-man of course he dodges) and counter-attacks by diving under the punch and slamming rhino’s arm to the ground. He then webs his arm up and goes behind rhino, hitting him a few times untill rhino breaks the webs, spider-man doesn’t have enough time to react so he slams into him, sending him flying*

“Not cool- you’re paying for my hospital bills.”

*Rhino let out a laugh*

“Little spider thinks he’s funny, eh? I have a joke too, wanna hear the punchline?”

“Go for it bud.”

*Rhino then tries to punch spider-man but he misses*

“Good joke bad execution mate. Work on your timing.”

“Anyways- you wanna just get a hotdog or something? Robbing the bank isn’t really a good way to spend your Tuesday-“

*Rhino attacks again, throwing a few haymakers he grabs a big chunk of concrete and throws it at spider-man. Spider-man grabs it with a string of web and throws it back at rhino.*

“Come on rhino it was worth a shot don’t get mad at me buddy-“

*Then rhino gets mad and tries to run into the mall, spider-man locks in and stops holding back. He goes in-front of rhino and grabs both his hands, rhino’s arms arguably being as big as spider-man’s whole body. Then he knocks back rhino, rhino doesn’t appreciate that at all.

*Spider-man then follows up by giving rhino a few nasty kicks to the jaw, staggering rhino as he then followed up by doing an unnessecary flip and slamming foot into rhino’s face and knocking him to the ground for a bit. Spider-man then tries to end the fight quickly by knocking out rhino without trying to give the man brain damage, which he does (cause he’s spider-man.) then, the police show up and arrest rhino and put him in prison again as spider-man leaves to go take a nap. Suddenly some weird magic happens (because of course it does because of the writers [trademark]) and he sees a portal on his way home. He sees a woman being robbed by some goons

“Gimme yer money, boss said they needs money for the plan [trademark]”

“Get off of me!”

*the woman struggled for her purse as spider-man’s spider-sense [trademark] went off, telling him not to go. But spider-man went anyways cause he’s spider-man. But then, a strange man in a bat suit shows up, and takes on all 5 at once. One starts shooting bullets at the batsuit man, he rubs it off as he punches the goon, leaving him on the floor as another tries to hit the guy in the head. The man-bat grabs the bat and throws it on the floor, then throwing a smoke bomb on the ground as he kicks the goon in the back. The other 3 try to run away but he knows them out with batarangs*

Spider-man looks confused

“How did you-“

“I’m Batman” [trademark]

The gotham gazette did a poll a few years ago, an overwhelming amount of people voted yes and probably, which in Gotham just means it’s none of our business.

Is Batman a furry

probably idk

You just described my grandma

HC that the average life expectancy in Gotham is actually four years higher than the national average because they collectively just keep refusing to die

Inaccurate, every woman in Gotham has some method of self defense, my mom still has her taser even after we moved from central city to metropolis

I'm sorry but I will never ever use goon as slang for a guy who jacks off a lot or whatever it apparently means now. A goon is a guy in a clown mask and purple tank top who sees a caped crusader swooping down to beat up him and his buddies and yells "IT'S DA FREAKIN' BAT!" and I will accept nothing else.

Honestly good for both of them, Clark is one of the best people I’ve ever met, and he deserves the luxury only someone like Bruce Wayne can provide.

guys i think he overdid it