FAQ 2

FAQ 2

My husband still seems to dominate the bedroom. How can I take control in a way I want to?

Answer: what you are describing is “topping from the bottom”. Your husband is supposed to be the submissive one in this relationship (“the bottom”) Often times, dominant men in other areas of their life like to take this role. It’s very common, but because they are used to taking control in every other aspect of their life, it makes it hard for them to let go. even if that is what they want.

To stop this there are many ways. I suggest doing all of them immediately.

1: make a list of rules. These rules should be playful, but strict and ultimately benefit you as the keyholder but also benefit him too by satisfying his desires and needs. ie a rule should help the keyholder and secually frustrate him. Actually adhere to the rules and tell him that any breach will result in a punishment. Examples include:

he is not allowed to ask for release, or even mention release.

he will clean the house every day in nothing but his cage or attire of your choosing.

he will make you dinner every day and nothing but his chastity cage or attire of your choosing.

He will give you an orgasm any time and anywhere you tell him to. (Make a secret word or a hand gesture like snapping your fingers)

Every night before bed, he will stand at the end of the bed and wait for additional orders whatever they may be (time for bed, rub my feet, Get ready for pegging, give me an orgasm, tell me to not release you, anything really)

I would literally write these things down and put them somewhere. Tell him that it is his job to make sure that he adheres to all the rules, if he breaks any of the rules, there will be punishment. they can range from additional time locked up, additional teasing, pegging, spanking, time in a smaller cage, get creative.

2: I’ve said it before, but he will continue to do this until you have broken his masculinity/male ego. In his mind he is still in charge. he is the man and you are the woman. You have to leave no question in his mind that you are in charge. This can be done several ways as well. I suggest all of them!

When he is at work, send him text messages with commands. Such as spot checks (have him take a picture of his cage to ensure compliance and text it back to you).

when together, make him strip naked, so you can inspect your cage.

Buy him a pink cage and make him wear it. This is very emasculating.

A really important one will be to peg him often. Weekly? Making him adopt the “feminine roll” in the bedroom will naturally cause him to be submissive.

Leave no mistake who is the “bitch” the bedroom by making him dress in your lingerie (if it fits) when you have sex, Peg him, or just make him dress in it for the night while he does his chores or sleeps in them. Either way it will be hard for him to top from the bottom in such a vulnerable position.

call him your bitch. make him call you master or mistress.

Go even further by taking whatever he does for work or recreation and emasculating it. If he is a lawyer, make him dress up as a secretary, if he is a doctor, make him dress as a nurse, if he loves sports, dress him as a cheerleader, if he is a cop, dress him as a sexy cop, teacher/principal then dress him as a slutty school girl, etc.

Paint his toenails.

Make him wear a butt plug.

make him curl his eyelashes everyday.

Find anything that could humiliate him and do it. Anything that is especially emasculating works really well. if you need other ideas just think about feminine things and apply it to him.

3: whatever he is trying to do while he is topping from the bottom, reverse it every time. nip it in the bud. I assume he is wanting you to do sexual things, so whatever it is that he tries to get you to do, if possible, make him do it.

4: Remember that Chastity is a daily thing. As I said in my last post, you should do something every day with regards to his Chasity situation. if you do not, he will start to regain confidence and become more dominant even if he is locked in a cage. it requires maintenance. use the things we just discussed above to keep him your bitch.