Panda: I Need Your Help.

Fuck this

Ohm: john, are you sober?

Kryoz: *slurred* why *hic* would i be sober on my birthday? huh? tell me that Ohm, ya little bunny rabbit

Ohm: …

Ohm: john, buddy

Kryoz: Ohm, buddy

Ohm: John it’s 10:30 in the morning

Kryoz: and? *hic*

Ohm: *gives him a disappointed look*

Kryoz: geez sorry dad *eyes start to water like he’s about to cry*

Ohm: …john?

Kryoz: *starts to cry*

Ohm: okay okay! you don’t have to record today!!

Kryoz: *through tears* thank you *under his breath* ha got eem

happy birthday kryoz!!

please listen to this poor man losing his shit as he reads an article blaming millenials for killing the mayonnaise industry that was written by a babyboomer upset people don’t want to eat her bland salads anymore

Vanoss: *picking out phone chargers with Wildcat*

Vanoss: do you think this one’s long enough to tie a noose?

Wildcat: what the fuck is wrong with you

Reasons why ive been asked to leave class

i said that the government was a bunch of dick heads and we should all just set the white house on fire and kept calling students who tried to defend the government “dick heads in training”

brought 6 whole pizzas in their boxes to class and was blocking the view of students

I kept sneezing during a lecture

Got really mad at some guy who wouldnt shut the hell up behind me and was flirting with some girl so i told him to shut the fuck up and she doesnt want to suck your dick and to take his frat boy ass and move.

Was signing dirty words and funny shit to my deaf friend and making him laugh. But because he’s deaf he didnt realize how loud he was being. so we both got asked to leave

poured water on some kids test after i was done with mine because i saw him copying off me the whole time.

Kept cussing too much during a socratic seminar about censorship to prove a point. and when they got mad at me i said “You trying to censor my words?”

made toast

had a dog in my backpack and said i had to take him to the vet after the class and didnt have time to run home and get him. he puked on the floor. which is why he had to go to the vet.

can’t help falling in love on a kalimba

Prompt for how Sebastian comes out as gay to his family + Sam and Abigail, plus how each respective group reacts

Sebastian didn’t know how to bring it up. He knew Maru would be okay with it, but his parents…

He brought it up before they went to bed one day. They had just finished a game of cards together.

“So, uh, I think I have something to tell you guys.”

“Oh?” Robin asked. Demetrius and Maru both looked up.

“I’m gay,” Sebastian squeaked out.

“Oh, honey,” Robin said. She leaned over and gave Sebastian a big hug. “You know I love you. We all love you.” The other two nodded, smiles on their faces. “We’ll support you no matter who you love.”

Sebastian smiled. He knew Demetrius was quiet, but the looks on all their faces told him they really did care.

-

“So, uh…” Sebastian started.

“Wassup?” Abby asked. Sam also looked up from his spot on the floor. They were hanging out in Abby’s room, all in various positions of sitting.

“I’m into dudes.”

There was silence for a second, and then Abby frowned.

“DAMMIT.” She said, her face betraying her disappointment. “Now I owe Elliott twenty bucks.”

“What?!” Sebastian shouted back. He couldn’t believe his ears. What was she going on about?

Abby rested her chin on her hand. “I had a bet with him on who would come out first. You or Sam. I bet Sam.”

“Woah woah woah,” Sam said defensively. “I’m not gay.”

“… You’ve literally had Shane’s dick in your butt.”

“I said no homo.”

“SAM.”

Kryoz: i can’t believe this

Smitty: believe what?

Kryoz: that you’d do this to me

Smitty: what did i do-

Kryoz: YOURE MAKING YOURSELF LOOK CUTE AGAIN STOP IT IM TOO GAY FOR THIS

it sharpens me like A KNIFE

Zuckles: I keep getting caught pickpocketing Swagger cause I keep saying ‘yoink’ outloud when I grab his wallet.