No Offense But Literally Nothing And No One Is And Will Ever Be Out Of Your League. Nothing Is Too Good

I feel like a poorly written fanfic character with a "dark and mysterious past" but instead of being faux-edgy im just incredibly ashamed of myself and repress vast swathes of my personality and identity into secret "Dbug Lore(tm)". Like, no i dont avoid talking about myself and my feelings to create an air of mystery or coolness, im just nerdy, boring, and deeply traumatized.

starting a new modded victoria 3 campaign be like "oh boy this time I'm gonna build a nice tall liberal atompunk-post-scarcity-utopian Japan and go for highest standard of living"

the year is 1993, the hyperwars against the European powers have lasted over a century, Germany is square, Spain exploded, there is a nonstop frontline in Britian that has devoured a generation of colonial troops from both sides, nuclear weapons are being developed. The empire stretches across Asia like a growing cancer, Africa was seized from the British to cut the funds from their war machine, it dawns on me as I order the third invasion of Italy this year that I've just recreated the world of 1984 again. goddammnit. at least we have automated luxury atomic socialism, but at what cost?

The unique mad science social experiment of subjecting my friends to fandoms to see how quickly they catch brain worms. I've already turned two people into firelock 198x addicts, fucked up someone's entire evening with Alien Stage, and turned a mutual of mine into the sterotypical HDG Brainrot transfem. Im playing plague inc with my friend group and infohazards and some day i will girlboss too close to the sun. one day my hubris will come back to bite me and i will suffer the consequences of playing god. But for now, this shits hilarious.

"yea im a writer, i do worldbuilding"

*gets one spurt of inspiration, writes ten paragraphs then shrivels up like a dried head of lettuce for another month*

true to the prompt, I ain't saying what my response is. but my outspoken dom/top-ness and my 279 hours in Terra Invicta should make it clear that it's a safe bet to hide your garlic bread.

Reblog if you

1. Want to get pegged by a 9-15 foot tall plant women

2. Your Flort looks REALLY cute right now

Or

3. You could absolutely DEVOUR some garlic bread right now

But don’t say which one it is

sure bestie sure

SOLID, COLD BUTTER; IS WHITE

Melted, warm, soft butter; is yellow

sometimes I think to myself, "I should go make some queer friends that are as freaky as I am. go express myself, stop masking, live as my true self, and probably pound someone into the floor".

And then I remember I live in Bumfuck Nowhere Ohio where its social ostracization at best to be anything other than cisgender, straight, and conservative. dang, that sucks.

yes

oh so you want me

holy shit me frfr i have like 4 mutuals now that are adorable and i like them but nah I'm gonna keep girlfailing and sheepsbianing because that's what the founding fathers intended

"omg i wanna become friends with this mutual they seem so cool" *makes no moves to interact with said mutual beyond liking posts*