Well, To Stay Things Have Quietened Down Since June Would Be Quite The Understatement. Louise Met Up

Whenever I see this one (or similar), I wonder if it is possible for there to be a question I wouldn’t answer…

Insecurities?

This whole thing is a bit of a jumble in my head, I hope I can make some sense of it here. I’ll start with something brief about Louise, especially about the Louise of a few years past. Whilst you could never describe her as a prude (obviously), it might surprise to say that Louise has a very strong conservative, or reserved, streak. Whilst there’s always been a private (mainly in bedroom) wild girl in there, it was never an outward thing. She has always dressed very conservatively, as an example getting her to show off some of her ample and sexy cleavage has always been a challenge. I have always tried to encourage her to let the sexy out but, equally, have always tried to respect her choices in the matter. That’s not to say we haven’t talked about it, we certainly have, at length. But, I suppose, I did not do a very good job of letting her know how I felt, not from the perspective of just how sexy she is to me nor from getting her to truly understand how big a turn on it is, for me, when she has done her sexy things.

I’m no psychologist, and I don’t intend to try to be on here, but I will share a couple of thoughts. Louise had a pretty conservative upbringing, there was lots of church, lots of “conditioning” about being a lady, all that stuff like sex before marriage being sinful and so on. Not that there was anything wrong with it, then or looking back now. I love her dear mom to death in fact, it is simply just part of her reality. Then there was her partner before me. He was a super jealous type, he wanted her to look pretty, and even sexy, but she was never “allowed” to wear dresses as short as she should have. The good old cleavage was totally out of the question too. She was “allowed” to wear bikinis at the beach, but they had to be conservative ones. She had even told me a story about how she wanted to get more of a tan and had bought her first skimpy-ish bikini, thinking he might be ok with it once he saw it. Well, he wasn’t but, good for her, it didn’t stop her wearing it a few times when he wasn’t around.

It is totally different with me. I desperately want her to wear little bikinis, see through ones too. Short dresses, cleavage, sexy underwear - all fantasy stuff. Of course she knew all of that, I have written about some games about dares we’ve messed with, and loads of them were based on such things. I have written the whole story about one of the most adventurous times, an especially naughty and one, and it’s fair to say that every now and then she would surprise me with something sexy. Not often as sexy or naughty as that day, nowhere near it in fact, but still more than enough to stir my pulse up a ton. We do go to the nude beach a lot, she has done some sexy bend over type of stuff, just at the right time. She has worn some moderately see through dresses without underwear on occasion. Things like that. But, from my perspective, such exciting things have been few and far between.

But, as I said, she certainly is not a prude. To give the balance of it, I’d say she is like 90% shy and conservative, 10% sexy and wild thing. That’s now, a few years ago it would have been more like 95/5, when we first met it was probably 99/1. That’s in public of course, she was awkward quite wild in private, from the time we met. Well, as far as monogamous wild goes at least.

One afternoon, a few weeks before Christmas, we were talking about this kind of subject matter. I guess she was right, actually I don’t guess, I know she was. I’m not proud of it but I had gotten a bit surly, we went to the beach that particular morning and things didn’t pan out like spoiled me had anticipated. We’d shared a bottle of wine the night before, things had gotten sexy and she said she would wear one of her rather see through cover ups to the beach the next day. She was going to wear one of my favourite bikinis under it and had even accepted a little dare to walk back from the nude beach without the bikini bottom on under the cover up. I guess I got my hopes up a little too much and was disappointed when she didn’t go through with it the next day. She called me on my surliness, fair enough too, and asked me why it mattered so much to me. She actually said she didn’t understand why I would sulk just because my wife decided not to “show her arse and pussy to every man and his dog in the beach car park.” That was the gist of it, that and a fair bit more too. Deservedly.

Maybe I had never picked the right words before, maybe she just hadn’t heard them. More likely, I was too careful with what I had said, always trying to not overstep things. But, regardless of why, my true and naughty feelings about it came out that afternoon and I think she heard them. Fully.

Oh, duh, before I go on, there is another factor that held Louise back. Insecurity. We’re not exactly spring chickens anymore and Louise just does not (maybe did not, we’ll see) believe that a woman of her age should be flaunting anything more than a bit of leg. Mostly lower leg at that. Haha. Most of the time she just does not think she looks sexy, she doesn’t like a few things about her body and that seriously adds to her reluctance.

So, back to the conversation of that afternoon. I wouldn’t say it got heated but we did express ourselves with some animation. She called herself a “fucking old woman,” and said it would be ridiculous to run around in g-string bikinis and naked under see through dresses, especially looking the way she does.

Oh, somewhere during the conversation, she also asked if I’d be happier if I was married to some “fucking exhibitionist.”

At first I just tried to clarify that I had never asked for g-strings. I guess, in all fairness, I did comment a lot about her thong bikini. But I thought she knew what I liked and I really just meant a couple of bikinis that are a little bit cheeky in the back, and they show her boobs a bit better than the full cover wired up things. Then I got the guilts, I felt really bad for pushing her to do something she didn’t want to do. She said something about how she would love to if she still felt sexy and I told her I didn’t really understand that, I think she is still very sexy and I said how I have been proud of her every time she has shown off, a little or a lot. I said I am always proud to be with her and how lucky I still feel to have found her. I told her I am proud to be beside her when we go out, how I am proud to walk down the beach with her, in any bikini and how I’d be over the moon proud for her in her cheeky ones. Something like that.

She said she didn’t know that and she thanked me for saying those nice things. It got me a little bit frustrated again, to be honest. I have said it many times and, once again, I tried to tell her I wasn’t just saying it, I meant it and I do.

We were good though, we ended up nearly getting it on in the pool and had some very satisfying, loving sex that night. I thought that was the end of it.

Then I went out for a few beers one afternoon, a couple of days later, with a few mates. We ended up staying out way longer than I had expected, I didn’t get home until nearly midnight. I had texted Lou to tell her, no issues there, and my late night meant that she ended up talking to Tom.

I actually want to write the whole background story to Tom sometime, just to get it all out for myself really. For now though, he did something he also did for Louise quite a while go. He made her feel good and, while doing so, he totally reinforced the things I had been trying to tell her. She told me a good deal about their conversation, this is obviously third hand but I think I’d have it pretty close. They had gotten on to our conversation, she asked him to tell her what he truthfully thinks.

He told her yes and so what she if is her fifties. He told her most men wouldn’t believe if they knew. I think that is true by the way, and have said it myself, several times. He told her yes, she has a body that shows she has had children and, again, so what. He told her he thinks she is incredibly sexy (something he told her years ago too) and, best of all, he told her off. Well, sort of.

“Louise, how do you think he feels (me) when you don’t believe it when he says your sexy. Your husband is not only complimenting you, he is telling you that in his eyes you are the sexiest woman in the world. For fucks sake, from what has he said about what we do, your sexiness and your sexuality is all he thinks about.”

Something like that anyway, whatever the exact words were he nailed it. Haha, it proved that they talk more about me than I ever knew too.

He also said something like, “do you really think I would have tried to fuck you for years, that I’d still be want to fuck you all the time if you weren’t.”

Somewhere in the conversation they talked about a very cheeky red bikini she has and the only time she ever really wore it in public. It was at a resort pool a couple of years ago. I totally busted a guy, who was at least ten years younger than us, getting a really good look at her arse (in all fairness she was basically on her knees, in doggy position, adjusting her towel when he walked behind her, right as I got back from the bar). Anyway, I took photos of her in that bikini, and she hates them, she says her arse look huge, she hates her cellulite and so on.

But, that night, when they talked, she sent a couple of the photos to Tom. He can be a dirty bugger (something she loves) and he told her he was going to jerk off to them when they got off the phone. He actually texted her later and told her he should have sent a cab to pick her up, jerking off was good but he would have preferred the real thing. Well, lucky him, his talk got her quite hot and bothered and he did get some the next day, when I was too hungover to do much at all.

Oh yeah, she also got a happy new year message from Grant, one that also made her feel good. Now, I would not be surprised if our Tom put him up to it, or mentioned something but, either way, he did well. He told her “happy new year sexy” and that he missed her “hot arse.” The latter comment came after a few more texts that make me wonder if we might still see some more of Grant yet. I do hope so.

From there, things have changed, just a little bit at least. We had our Christmas away and she caught a really bad flu on the way home. But she is feeling better now, finally, and we’ve had some nice times around the pool over this last week. I an exciting development (for me), she has started wearing a couple of her tiny little, very see through “dresses” around the house (they’re barely big enough to be t-shirts). She knew they are my favourites and that I always wanted her to wear them more, even just for me at home. That’s really all that has happened with it but it has had my blood flowing southwards in a very nice way.

We haven’t been yet, but she also hinted she would be wearing a sexy, new bikini next time we go to the beach. I almost don’t want to go the nude beach, so that I can see her in it the whole time!

Then, we stood outside yesterday afternoon, out the front of our house while the dog went for a pee. She had on one of the little dresses and hugged me. I had my hand up her dress, on her arse, anyone who went past would have gotten a good look and she did not care at all. She even said maybe the guy across the street saw from his window and how she’d bet I liked that. She was right, my downstairs mate showed her just how much I liked it too.

Then, when we went to bed, she said she had not forgotten her six in six month promise she’d made (to do six out of ten dares in six months) and she also said she is still determined and confident. Even though three months have already flown by. This wasn’t the intent of this note but I feel like doing a check in, sorry.

1. Have sex with more guys since you've been married than you had sex with before. - She only needs one more and I am fairly sure something with J is just around the corner.

2. Give two guys just a blowjob only. - No idea how she could arrange this. They don’t have to be together but just finding two is tricky.

3. Have an MFF threesome. - I reckon almost no chance in my lifetime, let alone the next few months.

4. Let me watch her get an erotic massage. - This turned out to be easy, she arranged it the day after I had decided on my top ten list. It was quite simple really, it just required me to tag along for a visit to her regular masseur, some thing we already knew he was ok with. We did it a couple of days later and it was amazing).

5. Wear a bikini that goes see through when wet, then get wet. Or wear a very small or micro bikini. - I relented on this one a little, she has several cheeky bikinis with sexy tops and I said any of those will more that suffice. Her new one fits the bill perfectly.

6. Go braless in public while wearing something a bit see through - no chance, unfortunately.

7. Have someone cum on you and pic for hubby or give someone a blowjob and pic for hubby. - in her words - easy.

8. Have sex with a stranger. - This is something that would have been out of the question until very recently, now she is dirty talking about it and getting turned on by the thought. We just have to come across someone, at the right time, in the right moment, who meets her justifiably picky tastes. I think it will be difficult.

9. Let a guy feel your bare boobs - made more difficult by me qualifying that it has to be someone new and not someone she has sex with.

10. Answer the door bottomless - it’s just the silly old pizza dare and I don’t know why, but I have a hunch this might happen. It’s relatively easy, from a logistics perspective and there’s more chance of this than going braless I reckon.

Will, that’s it. My intent was really just to talk about her little insecurities and how the two guys, Tom especially, may well have helped her overcome them. I ended up adding more, as usual, including the dares stuff. But, seeing how I did mention it, one (number 4) from the targeted six isn’t her ideal score at the half way point. I’m almost certain she is going to get number 1 soon, with the guy J that she has been talking to. In fact, if she hadn’t got sick I reckon she would have been with him during my recent work trip away. I’d say 5 and 7 will be easy, can she get two more? Haha, all in all it doesn’t matter, it is all just a bit of fun and spice to add to the adventure we’re on. She is definitely feeling good about herself again, after a serious lull that I didn’t really see or understand and that is the best thing so far this year!

Footnote: we tried to make plans to head away for our January holiday weekend, we almost got there too, until she found she had to work until late today (the Friday). I am still sure she is up to something and I have a hunch the weekend had something to do with it. I’m not asking though. The surprise, when it comes, will be worth the almost agonising wait.

My wife me asked me how the game works, the girls she works with were talking about playing it on a night out they were planning. Could have been messy…

Love the answer to this question (love this lady’s whole blog actually).

I can certainly relate to the response and its sentiment. Louise is also the jealous type, she made it very clear, long ago, that she could not handle me being with another woman. It is actually not something I fantasise about and, even if I did, I would never do it because I could not ever hurt her like that. She also had fears that I actually could not handle the reality of her being with another man, it is part of what kept her from doing it for a long time. She is a very sexual creature, she loves sex and, now, is enjoying the experiences she is having but she would never have done it if it threatened our marriage.

For my perspective, yes I truly do get jealous. Sometimes that thoughts I have, or the things I see her enjoying, rip my guts out. But, at the same time, they make my heart race with excitement (and my dick very hard) and they make me desire her even more than I thought would have been possible. That only scratches the surface by the way.

I know most guys don’t see it my way and I am comfortable with that. Well, maybe not to the point of totally “coming out” publicly about it, but comfortable in myself with it.

So, to back up @milfincognito and her response to this Anonymous, why do others think it is fair to judge another person, their situation, their fantasies and their feelings about their relationships?

You say you have no desire to see your husband with another women yet you want to be a Hotwife while he remains faithful. Why do women who want to be a Hotwife think it’s fair to have sex outside of marriage with other men and their husbands aren’t free to do the same with other women?

This question pisses me off a little. I don't claim to speak for all women or all hotwives. I can only tell you what I'm feeling. Someone asked how close I've been to living out the hotwife fantasy and I answered honestly. The closest I've come to being in a situation where it could have happened was a few times when we went to swinger clubs. In retrospect, that was a bad idea. The truth is I am the jealous type and do not want to share my husband. He says the idea of other men fucking me turns him on, and the idea obviously turns me on as well as evidenced by this blog. The reason I haven't pushed harder to live out the fantasy in real life is because I fear it could ruin our marriage. More specifically, I fear he will not be able to handle the reality of seeing another man penetrate me. The reality of seeing and hearing me having an orgasm on another man's cock. I know him well, and I think it would be too much for him to take, and he may never look at me the same way again. I'm actually trying to be considerate of his feelings and protect my marriage.

Yep

Maybe not ashamed as such but we have had a few times where Louise has said “oh my gosh” the next morning. Most importantly, they are all dirty little secrets we share together, even if I wasn’t there at the time or, occasionally, even if I don’t know about it for a while. With all I write here, the best parts are what we share together, we have hot, loving sex ten times more often together than times where other guys are involved. We share amazing, intimate moments that none of them experience. There can be looks between us, in all sorts of places, that nobody could possibly begin to understand. Our adventure is very much about sharing her with other guys but it is so much more than that.

Yep, exactly.