“Sometimes Not Telling People Anything Is A Good Thing.”

Jenny Hval, from Girls Against God

heaviness.

this week i felt so heavily taxed it’s like i’m being robbed of something.

i don’t want to be here. i don’t want to be around anyone but a few, i don’t want to be perceived, i don’t want to be thought of. i don’t want the smiles from certain people because i don’t deserve them, i have fooled them with only a few actions they’ve seen of me and the surface that looks clean and flawless. that’s the thing— if only they knew me deeply would they maybe back the hell away, not smile as much, refuse to look me in the eye with such cordiality.

i am not even being cruel to myself. i am honesty right now. this heaviness weighs on my back like a load i can’t pretend isn’t there anymore. i look in the mirror and the reflection is so tired, so fed up. if only i could open the minds of people around me just to erase the memory of me from them and disappear somewhere. if only everyone forgot me for a second, and i had no trace of prior existence— a fresh start where i can begin newly again, where perhaps even i’d be known to myself as someone with less baggage, less of all the bad things that have happened to me and continue to happen under the surface which makes it all the more insidious and sickening. i am tired of myself. of the people who made me who i am today. i hope to get lighter. so much so that i fly away as if filled with helium, never to come back down on this wretched planet with its wretched people who see the worst in me and the deceived who see the best in me.

“Please stop destroying what is left of your heart by constantly thinking about things that have broken you.”

— Unknown

Its so offensive to see other live the life you've prayed for. That feeling is so raw, like I see that there might be some god up there and he definitely has some favorites.

date sweet men. men who can articulate themselves. men who are soft spoken. men who are patient with you. men who respect their own bodies. men who are kind to your soul. men that are gentle. men who have self control.

L (she/her) may I have a quote from my crush G(he/him)

Game :

🗣️ get a quote from your person \angel \friends \parents \universe \etc [end of thinking capacity ] 🩷

rules :

like + reblog this post .

Follow my account .

Like + reblog any of my two tarot readings here's the [ masterlist] for quick navigation. You'll have to do it again even if you've liked + reblogged my readings before .

Mention your initials+ pronouns+ other person's initial+ pronouns if you want channeled quote from a person .

Feedback is necessary .

Lastly be patient.

I'll only reply to people who follow all the above mentioned rules .

Asks will be answered privately 🤍

for Little fun please add some things about yourself I'll love to read them 🐣 . It's necessary to add okay !

Example : g [she\her ] may I have a quote from my friend s [he\him ] .

Example : g [she\her ] may I have a quote from universe .

Status: open

what if, I'm always gonna stay this way? afraid of being someone's person

Sylvia Plath, from The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath

I kept spiraling with a lot of emotions the entire day, my anxiety and fears never stopped giving me a hard time. I thought of all things that could go wrong, all the ways that I'm incapable of love and maybe keeping it alive, all the ways I really truly desire people to be close to me yet I fear them being replaceable or me being replaced. Everything felt like a big puzzle, big chunk of questions kept coming to me, tarot readings made my days even worse, and despite it all. I just wanna sleep in my blanket and dream and feel safe and say this to myself that,

"Darling, if its the right person. The love will always stay. Love is always the answer. It will stay. Love will always stay. You'll know when you know."