当然啦 只要发作起来就不可能只是外貌羞耻 而是对于整个人的存在价值和意义都完全否定

今天一件非常非常trivial的事情她非要变得很大 现在打这些字我都觉得滑稽：

晚饭时间她觉得我脚有汗但是冷于是要求我洗脚然后穿上袜子 我说我不冷也不需要现在洗脚 睡前再洗就可以 她非要我洗 我说那样的话我必须睡前再洗一次 她说不行不能洗两次 然后给我倒了水非要我现在洗 那我总不能这么小的事非要不给面子把水晾一边儿去不管吧 于是我就去洗了

睡前我较早在洗漱 心情也不错 结果她走进来说正好今天简单也不用洗脚了 我就说我还是要洗一下的 非常快一两分钟就洗完 她非不让我洗 我很纠结难受地站在那里因为我1回家住后很快就已经妥协了没有再每天睡前洗澡（回家后第二天就意识到并自我调整和安慰）2我明明已说过如果晚饭洗脚那么睡前仍然要洗脚 但她完全不把我的话当真 我的话在她眼里就不是一个“人”说话的分量 然后她看到我的样子就说“有病就去看” 与此同时她每天通宵拖地却从来不觉得需要咨询或改变

然后她又过来 我说我不明白这么小的事情为什么一定要控制我即使是明知道我会不舒服的情况下 她说了一堆我这是刻板行为 是需要纠正的 否则以后就会吃亏比如别人会用异样的眼光看待、找不到结婚对象 我说根本没有人注意也不影响别人又能让我感到舒服的行为是不需要改变的

她做了什么：忽视 不尊重 歧视

我做了什么：第一次听从 第二次最终没有洗并觉得难受

就这样她还天天说以后要和爸爸跟我住一起 给我做饭（无论是他们上次去看我 还是这次我回家 我每天吃他们做的饭都吃不饱 可以说饥肠辘辘 自己在外面还能回去再加餐 现在在家饿得要死）、梳头、穿衣（说到这个我真是受够了 从小到大只要在家住我从来不能自己选买什么穿什么衣服 最近回家这段时间也是一样 审美不同而她永远觉得她的审美对 我的审美错）

记在这里 回国意味着每天吃不饱饭&不能带东西回来&好几天不能洗澡

最近扫Ze的ao3 tag

简中人喜欢借这机会夹带点对此地的讽刺

英语人有讽刺美国和乌国的，有讽刺俄国和观众的

俄语人恨透了Ze

乌语人真的很喜欢那位顾问

Ficbook上有个人恨泽却在扫tag......

我现在越来越看不清俄国人到底有多少支持有多少反对了，只能说不要见到一个俄国人就assume她/他是支持的吧。但自从19年之后我简中交友都是先assume对方很pinky，总有一层防备的隔膜，过滤着我自己的发言

I feel like any discussion of class in saltburn ultimately just sort of falls apart especially in conversations dominated by americans. it's where we constantly get the weird "upper middle class" takes and jokes. not only is oliver not upper middle class, but felix is not even moderately more wealthy than he is. he is living on what is basically an entirely different planet than oliver. the cattons are literally landed gentry, with the title and the massive fuck off castle to show for it. there is no true equivalent to that kind of social class in other countries especially in the usa but it is absolutely important to factor in. felix isn't just a rich kid, he's an aristocrat and heir apparent. it's honestly just insane to think about that level of disparity lol

可能比6月更早

到底有没有一家ktv歌单里面有《心甘命抵》，我已经从6月忍到现在了

【第32屆金曲獎推2】馬世芳老師作為《特別貢獻獎》的引言人時，APUJAN詹朴準備為他黑色西裝配著黃色領帶，加上領口繡著清楚可見《皇后大道東》林夕寫的那句歌詞「#人民如潮湧」，挺香港挺得非常有深度，他也在會後表示他們確實是在力挺思念的香港。

才6度啊，我还以为零下了呢，冷到《暗涌》突然闯进脑海，差点唱出声音来给自己打气（？）

-Allan Wolf, The Watch that Ends the Night

Why must you hurt me so…

复习的时候来了抑郁情绪 好迷惑 难不成是快来月经了

RANKING 10 DEPICTIONS OF MARY 1ST

Today, I’m looking at 10 depictions of the first queen regnant of England, Mary Tudor. Of course, Mary has been depicted more than ten times, but I’m restricting this list to English-speaking, adult portrayals. I don’t feel comfortable discussing portrayals of children or performances in languages I don’t speak, as I would struggle to discuss the intricacies of those performances. To be included, the portrayal must feature at least two scenes (so no deathbed scenes with Catherine, sorry!).

This list was hugely inspired by @theladyelizabeth who made their own list discussing Elizabeth portrayals and @annabolinas who made 3 list’s discussing Anne’s which i would hugely recommend for those interested in their historical figures as both are obviously extremely well informed!

#10 ELIZABETH 1998

It genuinely cannot get worse than this. Mary is depicted as an old, religiously fanatic hag who lives in a dungeon with only a dwarf as her lady, while Elizabeth stays young and fresh throughout the entire film series. Would you believe me if I told you this movie was marketed as feminist? Sigh. This depiction of Mary has all the character depth of a classic Disney villain without any of the fun campiness. The movie also heavily leans into the Gloriana myth, which I can excuse in some older films, but in 1998/2007, while claiming to be progressive? It’s genuinely shameful.

#9 FIREBRAND 

Oh! We're still depicting Mary as stupid just to prop up Elizabeth in 2023? I’m sorry, but I just can’t with this movie. I watched it after being drawn in by the beautiful costumes (which are the best part of the film), but its depiction of Mary is absolutely awful. She’s weak-willed, easily manipulated, and gets by far the worst costumes of the bunch. Her relationship with Catherine Parr is practically nonexistent, and it feels like she only exists to contrast Elizabeth. There’s even a scene where Elizabeth lectures Mary and claims her own trauma is worse something the real Mary would never have tolerated from her little sister. It’s clear the people who made Firebrand are not Mary fans, which is fine, but it really ruined the movie for me.

#8 THE VIRGIN QUEEN (SHOW)

I mean, it’s fine—it covers most of the same ground as Elizabeth but allows Mary a lot more dignity than that movie (Which is really not saying much). Still, it’s not really worth watching for Mary fans. Joanne Whalley is a fairly good visual match for an older Mary if you can ignore the hair and the god-awful costumes… which, unfortunately, I cannot.

#7 ELIZABETH R 

Sorry, Elizabeth R fans—I do really like this show! But when it comes to its depiction of Mary, well she’s barely in it. :( For the little screentime she gets, she’s fine—a fairly basic portrayal, but nothing offensive. The actress definitely has the right look, and I do appreciate that her relationship with Elizabeth is shown as somewhat affectionate. I love this miniseries, but I really can’t recommend it to Mary fans since she plays such a minor role.

#6 MY LADY JANE

Does this one really count? Probably not—but I’m talking about it anyway. If you’re not aware, My Lady Jane is a historical fantasy Tudor show that has absolutely no interest in historical accuracy. That said, I have to admit it’s very funny.

Mary in the show is depicted as a gloriously campy villain who pegs Edward Seymour and wants to kill the lovebirds, Jane and Edward. I did say this wasn’t exactly trying to be  historically accurate! But what it is—is fun. And that’s why it ranks higher than the others. I’ll always appreciate something that fully commits to its insanity over something that pretends to be historical. Also… it said “strap Mary rights,” so I have to give it props for that.

#5 WOLF HALL

It pains me to place this so low because I feel like there’s a version of this show that could have ranked much higher—but, alas, that’s not the version I got.

This depiction of Mary is a real mixed bag. I can appreciate any portrayal that doesn’t villainize her, and I dearly hope they get the chance to play Mary again. Based on their interviews, they seem to have a real understanding of her as a historical figure. But I fear their performance is let down by the writing—something Wolf Hall certainly didn’t do. Also, the actor who plays her, Lilit Lesser, is phenomenal.

The issue is that Mary seems unable to exist without Cromwell. Like many of the women in this show, she is completely and utterly taken with him, which… is a choice. I wouldn’t be opposed to a depiction of Mary having a one-sided admiration for Cromwell—I could see that working with a different script—but unfortunately, that’s not what I got. I find the show’s take on their relationship deeply unsatisfying, and worse, it completely consumes Mary’s character.

She’s also depicted as rather quiet and withdrawn, which feels like an odd choice given what we know about the real Mary. On a more positive note, I loved the mention of Mary buying gifts for Elizabeth. It didn’t actually happen, but it’s a nice touch that highlights both Mary’s poor financial habits and her genuine affection for little Elizabeth. Also, the costuming in the second season is absolutely gorgeous.

I feel bad being so negative about this show because I do genuinely enjoy it, and Lilit is fantastic casting for Mary. But as a depiction of the historical figure? It’s just not successful.

#4 LADY JANE

I admit i may have placed this one slightly higher then it deserves but i have a mile wild soft spot for this movie despite it’s rather egregious historical inaccuracies (There’s little evidence that Jane even liked her husband, let alone that their relationship was some grand love story, and she certainly wasn’t a social reformer concerned with the plight of the poor) What can I say? I’m a sucker for cheesy enemies to lovers romances, and I’m not ashamed of it.

But that’s beside the point because we’re here to talk about their Mary! And she’s… actually sympathetic —gasp!— played fantastically by actress Jane Lapotaire in a movie that depicts Jane as our heroic lead it would be so easy to make Mary a mustache twirling (which they absolutely do with Francis Grey, who gets the full abusive, women-hating portrayal here) but Lady Jane takes a far more interesting approach, portraying Mary as a deeply complex figure. She doesn’t want to execute Jane and instead shows genuine sympathy for the young girl in front of her. She acknowledges Jane’s youth, treats her with a strict yet maternal air, but is still allowed moments of humour and softness.

The film makes it clear that Mary does everything in her power not to have Jane executed, and her insistence that Jane convert is framed as a desperate last resort rather than an act of cruelty. I wouldn’t necessarily recommend watching the movie just for Mary as she is in very little of it but, but her portrayal is definitely a highlight and one of the reasons I enjoy the film as much as I do!

#3 THE TUDORS

For a long time, The Tudors’ Mary was the gold standard against which every other depiction of her was judged. But does it still hold up? …Well, mostly.

Sarah Bolger feels like she was possessed by the spirit of young Mary in some scenes. Despite her lack of physical resemblance to the real Mary, she fully inhabits her essence—from the way she speaks to the way she moves.

That said, I do find the writing, especially in the later seasons, leaves me wanting. It feels like the writers realized they wouldn’t be able to depict Mary’s most well-known period, so they tried to cram elements of it earlier into her life. As a result, she seemingly decides to burn Protestants with little political motive an absolutely inaccurate portrayal. That misstep is what ultimately pulls down an otherwise fantastic depiction from the top two.

#2 MOTHERS DAUGHTER

Now, I can hear you all saying… what? Mother’s Daughter is a play written by Kate Hennig that focuses on Mary’s life and queenship. It specifically highlights her relationships with Elizabeth, Jane Grey, and the ghost of her mother. I adore how this play characterizes Mary—not as an evil tyrant, but as a deeply human figure, which is a luxury she’s seldom afforded, especially once she becomes queen.

Set after the death of Edward, it transforms Mary into a deeply tragic character. She’s forced to make difficult choices and question the motives of those around her, including her own family, all while facing xenophobia and religious nationalism. Shannon Taylor’s portrayal of Mary captures her evolution from a hesitant claimant to a resolute monarch. Taylor’s Mary is allowed to be funny and witty, while also reaching almost Shakespearean levels of tragedy. The depiction is both complex and effortlessly engaging.

In my opinion, Mother’s Daughter offers a deeply nuanced exploration of power, family, and identity. It highlights the struggle of a queen striving to reconcile her sense of duty with her personal convictions. I’m being a bit vague in my description because I really want you to read or watch this play—it’s beautiful, heart-wrenching, and fantastic. I highly recommend it to any Mary fans out there!

#1 BECOMING ELIZABETH

And, shockingly to no one, my number one spot goes to Becoming Elizabeth. What can I say about this show that hasn’t been said by every single Mary fan on the planet? Romola Garai is breathtaking in her role as Mary and absolutely blows every other member of the cast out of the water.

If you haven’t watched it, Becoming Elizabeth focuses on the period following Henry’s death and throughout Edward’s reign, highlighting Elizabeth’s development and her relationships, especially with Thomas Seymour (though they don’t handle that particular relationship well, so heads up if you’re planning to watch).

Garai’s performance is a standout. She captures Mary as a woman hardened by years of uncertainty and betrayal, while still remaining witty, funny, and headstrong. She’s fiercely Catholic and unwavering in her beliefs, but the show avoids turning her into a one-dimensional zealot. Instead, Becoming Elizabeth presents her faith as both a source of strength and a cause of isolation, especially in the Protestant-dominated court of Edward VI. If you want a clip that really highlights how good this depiction of Mary is, I’d recommend the scene where Edward asks her to convert. It’s heartbreaking and just so well acted.

When I think of Mary, I picture Garai’s performance. She, more than anyone else, truly captures Mary’s essence—her tragically complex relationship with her siblings. Mary is both deeply protective of them, but there’s such an obvious lack of trust between them. Despite my issues with the show as a whole, their portrayal of Mary is, without a doubt, the best and most accurate depiction of her in my mind.