只要是她的问题都是大问题 只要是我的问题都是“无所谓”（本来都要睡觉了

其实是因为看到了一篇网友疑似女友粉的日志随笔，虽然都没有讲明，但我确实对于别人对他的念想有一些敏锐的洞察能力，或许不该说敏锐，而是太熟悉他的相关事情和字词，又总能在看到疑似段落的时候慢下来仔细读。

看到一个歌名《明日再会》。在听《mad》，想起颁奖礼。羡慕徒弟。想看小林给黄填歌词，顺便想起《最高分数》。

我选择“家养”这个词是因为它多么intimate和表达所属

我羡慕过他的妈妈。妹妹。徒弟。前两者都僭越了，最后一个稍好些，但一想到徒弟本人付出多少努力就觉得比不上了。最轻松还是幻想自己是他家养的猫。

friends and partners have asked me before why i need to show them so many movies and so many songs and so many books and why i wax poetics for so long and i have to explain hi hello these were my only companions for so long, this is where i learned how to love, this made my heart sing, this brought me such joy and understood my sadness and held me so tenderly, i need to show you because it’s a part of me it’s a piece of me, it understands me in a way i want you to understand me, it’s one of the ways i can tell you i trust you with this strand of my dna, i offer these pieces of me to you because i love you.

For @island-in-the-shadows because

Gavey Haters in the House- I'm not tagging this because like... If you're into him, cool! Don't wanna yuck your yum, you go and share a crunchie with him, good for you.

I don't like Michael Gavey because I was an awkward, quiet, nerdy kid, and I had a Michael Gavey.

I think a lot of awkward, quiet, nerdy kids do- a friend who isn't really a friend. You're together out of circumstance, because they're a dork too, but you don’t have anything in common other than being on the outside. What makes that friend a Gavey is that this friend isn't interested in having you on an even footing; they want you to be the rung lower on the social ladder. To be their bootlicker.

Gavey is a maths genius. That's his thing. Like Oliver, he probably went to Oxford expecting to find people like him and found himself in another popularity contest... And he's pissed about it.

He's not socially oblivious. One of the first things he points out to Oliver is that everyone around them already has friends, that they're all from the same schools, and Oliver is alone. In fact, he's already bitter about it- "so you're a Norman No-Mates too, Oliver Quick?"

Oliver is oblivious, and he tells Gavey as much. So, what does Michael do?

FUCKING ASK ME A SUM, THEN.

That interaction is grim, because Michael knows what he's doing. He forces Oliver into doing what he wants by embarrassing him, on the first night at uni, in front of their assembled peers. Gavey doesn't give a shit if people think he's weird, because he’s already decided that everyone else there is beneath him and his calculator brain... He just hates that they aren't worshipping him for it.

You also see this in the pub scene. Michael complaining about a girl in his tutorial group.

MATE. SHE GOT IN TO DO MATHS AT OXFORD. SHE CAN DO HER FUCKING TIMES TABLES. He’s just pissed that someone else was getting attention, because MICHAEL GAVEY IS RIGHT THERE. WITH HIS SPECIAL GENIUS BRAIN. It's got to be that it's just because this tutor is distracted by some tits, not that the whole Oxford Maths department isn't there specifically to tell him how special he is.

This need to be superior is why Gavey's so invested in Oliver. Their limited interactions aren't good. There's no banter, no jokes- it's just Gavey being bitter and negging Oliver.

This whole fucking interaction sums it up.

Michael interrupts Oliver.

Michael tells Oliver about a way they've been excluded- one Oliver didn't even know about.

Michael knocks Oliver's attempt at being positive in the dirt.

Michael then rubs Oliver's face in it- giving Oliver a tiny little bit of hope (maybe he did get an invite, he could check?) then crushing it.

Would you do that to someone you considered a friend? Fucking doubt it.

Michael Gavey wants Oliver to be his little subordinate. To feed his ego, nod along when he rants about girls who can't do maths and how much the alpha hotties suck. He's the popularity equivalent of a temporarily embarrassed millionaire- rather than admitting that people don't like him for actual reasons and working on that... Instead he tries to turn Oliver into his little whipping boy yes-man.

He doesn't just call Oliver a bootlicker because he's gone over to the rich kids- he calls Oliver a bootlicker because that's all the value he sees in Oliver, and he's mad Ollie isn’t slobbering on his feet.

MIC DROP LEIF OUT

Now as someone living abroad and alone this hurts

要说坐监前结婚有无务实的考虑，当然有，但这就更感人，是真正乱世情侣

想起曾经嗑过的立法会cp，一时兴起去搜了下视频，看到个14年片段，议案是捍卫编辑采访独立自主，我又伤感了

这是在模仿凹3上的普sfw吗？

Sadly I never had this phase???

loved the age where you could look up paranormal stuff and have no gage of what’s real/fake so you’re just like “oh my god …. a ghost caught on tape and no one is talking about this”

忍不住想说这就是中国影响力

I keep seeing fic with words censored in the body of the fic like so: c*nt, f*gg*t, q-slur (seriously, come on), r*pe, *nc*st. I even saw a fic where someone was described as “sitting next to his unalived body” which was so absurd it made me laugh.

I’ve seen this trend in tags as well, which would be ACTIVELY FUCKING DANGEROUS if AO3 tag wranglers weren’t literal, actual angels who make sure that “rape” and “r*pe” (and all such transpositions) are treated like the same tag.

AO3 isn’t TikTok. Tag accurately and completely for your fic themes so people can search AND filter. Use the correct words in your fic content so people who use blacklist extensions can actually benefit from the tools that protect them.

If you don’t feel comfortable using a word without censoring it, then don’t use that word at all. Maybe consider why you’re even writing something that contains that theme.

Sincerely,

An actual real life rape and incest survivor who has actual fucking PTSD and really doesn’t want to have to stop reading fic for my ship because people think a god damn asterisk is going to somehow save people like me from being triggered.

Today when I looked at the direction of Tower Wharf there was a rainbow over the bridge. I also visited the scaffold site.