现实中认识的俄罗斯人好像只有大一一节课的助教，男生，喜欢弹钢琴。不知道他们如今处境如何，但我是总怀着愧疚的，比如搭乘一班载着拖家带口香港人的飞机，在海关排队等待的时候，看到爸爸安抚哭闹不止的小男孩，看到安静礼貌的小女孩给远在家乡的亲戚视频通话，说我们一切都好；在机场电梯里面一个姐姐对我脱口而出“小心d”，男同伴微微向她示意，我不知道是在提醒她这里要开始讲英文了，还是其实......

well.

今天一件非常非常trivial的事情她非要变得很大 现在打这些字我都觉得滑稽：

晚饭时间她觉得我脚有汗但是冷于是要求我洗脚然后穿上袜子 我说我不冷也不需要现在洗脚 睡前再洗就可以 她非要我洗 我说那样的话我必须睡前再洗一次 她说不行不能洗两次 然后给我倒了水非要我现在洗 那我总不能这么小的事非要不给面子把水晾一边儿去不管吧 于是我就去洗了

睡前我较早在洗漱 心情也不错 结果她走进来说正好今天简单也不用洗脚了 我就说我还是要洗一下的 非常快一两分钟就洗完 她非不让我洗 我很纠结难受地站在那里因为我1回家住后很快就已经妥协了没有再每天睡前洗澡（回家后第二天就意识到并自我调整和安慰）2我明明已说过如果晚饭洗脚那么睡前仍然要洗脚 但她完全不把我的话当真 我的话在她眼里就不是一个“人”说话的分量 然后她看到我的样子就说“有病就去看” 与此同时她每天通宵拖地却从来不觉得需要咨询或改变

然后她又过来 我说我不明白这么小的事情为什么一定要控制我即使是明知道我会不舒服的情况下 她说了一堆我这是刻板行为 是需要纠正的 否则以后就会吃亏比如别人会用异样的眼光看待、找不到结婚对象 我说根本没有人注意也不影响别人又能让我感到舒服的行为是不需要改变的

她做了什么：忽视 不尊重 歧视

我做了什么：第一次听从 第二次最终没有洗并觉得难受

就这样她还天天说以后要和爸爸跟我住一起 给我做饭（无论是他们上次去看我 还是这次我回家 我每天吃他们做的饭都吃不饱 可以说饥肠辘辘 自己在外面还能回去再加餐 现在在家饿得要死）、梳头、穿衣（说到这个我真是受够了 从小到大只要在家住我从来不能自己选买什么穿什么衣服 最近回家这段时间也是一样 审美不同而她永远觉得她的审美对 我的审美错）

记在这里 回国意味着每天吃不饱饭&不能带东西回来&好几天不能洗澡

a tall handsome Chinese man

发现一个规律，中国人好感普京，会写普京梦女/梦男文和抹布普京文，俄国人好感普京，会写普京攻，还有各种泽连斯基受的文（攻不只普京），俄国人写不写梦女/梦男文我就不知道了。（我最近这是都看了些啥啊

Cells that can be ‘forever young’ are stem cells and cancer cells.

Well not precisely for stem cells but it’s kind of true for cancer cells.

GODDESS

the fact that i'm no longer the same age as the protagonists of novels and films i once connected to is so heartbreaking. there was a time when I looked forward to turning their age. i did. and i also outgrew them. i continue to age, but they don't; never will. the immortality of fiction is beautiful, but cruel.

Is soft white underbelly against transgender or what

grandparents/family members etc do not count, of course. im talking someone that was paid to look after you

啊原来对孙唐的hate是lmk圈子里孕育发扬出来的吗 怪不得 欧美人水土不服就乱鉴定东亚cp为problematic也真是够了 不喜欢可以走开不看而不是骚扰网友或者写anti同人

For @island-in-the-shadows because

Gavey Haters in the House- I'm not tagging this because like... If you're into him, cool! Don't wanna yuck your yum, you go and share a crunchie with him, good for you.

I don't like Michael Gavey because I was an awkward, quiet, nerdy kid, and I had a Michael Gavey.

I think a lot of awkward, quiet, nerdy kids do- a friend who isn't really a friend. You're together out of circumstance, because they're a dork too, but you don’t have anything in common other than being on the outside. What makes that friend a Gavey is that this friend isn't interested in having you on an even footing; they want you to be the rung lower on the social ladder. To be their bootlicker.

Gavey is a maths genius. That's his thing. Like Oliver, he probably went to Oxford expecting to find people like him and found himself in another popularity contest... And he's pissed about it.

He's not socially oblivious. One of the first things he points out to Oliver is that everyone around them already has friends, that they're all from the same schools, and Oliver is alone. In fact, he's already bitter about it- "so you're a Norman No-Mates too, Oliver Quick?"

Oliver is oblivious, and he tells Gavey as much. So, what does Michael do?

FUCKING ASK ME A SUM, THEN.

That interaction is grim, because Michael knows what he's doing. He forces Oliver into doing what he wants by embarrassing him, on the first night at uni, in front of their assembled peers. Gavey doesn't give a shit if people think he's weird, because he’s already decided that everyone else there is beneath him and his calculator brain... He just hates that they aren't worshipping him for it.

You also see this in the pub scene. Michael complaining about a girl in his tutorial group.

MATE. SHE GOT IN TO DO MATHS AT OXFORD. SHE CAN DO HER FUCKING TIMES TABLES. He’s just pissed that someone else was getting attention, because MICHAEL GAVEY IS RIGHT THERE. WITH HIS SPECIAL GENIUS BRAIN. It's got to be that it's just because this tutor is distracted by some tits, not that the whole Oxford Maths department isn't there specifically to tell him how special he is.

This need to be superior is why Gavey's so invested in Oliver. Their limited interactions aren't good. There's no banter, no jokes- it's just Gavey being bitter and negging Oliver.

This whole fucking interaction sums it up.

Michael interrupts Oliver.

Michael tells Oliver about a way they've been excluded- one Oliver didn't even know about.

Michael knocks Oliver's attempt at being positive in the dirt.

Michael then rubs Oliver's face in it- giving Oliver a tiny little bit of hope (maybe he did get an invite, he could check?) then crushing it.

Would you do that to someone you considered a friend? Fucking doubt it.

Michael Gavey wants Oliver to be his little subordinate. To feed his ego, nod along when he rants about girls who can't do maths and how much the alpha hotties suck. He's the popularity equivalent of a temporarily embarrassed millionaire- rather than admitting that people don't like him for actual reasons and working on that... Instead he tries to turn Oliver into his little whipping boy yes-man.

He doesn't just call Oliver a bootlicker because he's gone over to the rich kids- he calls Oliver a bootlicker because that's all the value he sees in Oliver, and he's mad Ollie isn’t slobbering on his feet.

MIC DROP LEIF OUT