So I Found A YouTube Video Called "hacks For Gender Euphoria", I Thought It Was Going To Be Some Expose

I read this like the shorts were slowly shrinking whilst they were wearing them

Gentlemen, adjust your wardrobes accordingly

What the fuck, made a sword using my own blood and it's a sword of bisexual slaying? This is messed up

5 posts!

This is the greatest moment of my life

Me: -so after it became apparent that ‘retarded’ had become a term of abuse, educators and psychiatrists switched to other terms like ‘handicapped’ or ‘special needs’ in an attempt to -

George Orwell, whom I’ve dragged forward in time with my arcane powers because I’m lonely and want someone to talk to: You have a telephone in your pocket?  It listens to you all the time?

Me: Never mind about that, the point is, young people now mock each other by sending the wheelchair emoji - that’s a type of electronic heiroglyph - to suggest mental deficiency and shout SPESHUL!!!! while doing offensive imitations of disabled facial expressions and posture.  So any attempt to lexographically make crimethink impossible is pretty much doomed because the meaning of words in everyday conversation can’t be controlled by a dictionary entry, no matter how many Ministry of Truth employees-

Orwell: It reports your location to the telephone company at all times?

Freaky

✨New item!✨ Chain Devil’s Embrace  Armor (chain mail or chain shirt), very rare (requires attunement by a lawful creature)  This mass of chains slithers with sinister sentience, threatening to constrict anyone in reach. Each chain ends in a rusty hook or wicked blade, perfect for snaring and lacerating victims. Donning the chains as a suit of armor is an unpleasantly confining experience, but the living metal adjusts to provide ample protection and mobility to its wearer. You can choose to don it as a suit of chain mail or a chain shirt. You have a +1 bonus to AC while wearing this armor.

Infernal Oath. In order to attune to this armor, you must declare an oath that will bind you together. The oath can be any goal, set of rules, or moral tenet that you choose, however it must be clearly defined and actionable. If the oath is of sufficient clarity and importance, it appears in written form and must be signed in blood before it burns away. 

Grasping Chains. The armor has 7 charges, and it regains 1d4 + 3 expended charges daily at dawn. As an action while wearing it you can expend 1 charge to shoot out hook-tipped chains to ensnare a creature that you can see within 10 feet of you. Make an attack roll against the target with a +8 bonus. On a hit, the target takes 2d6 slashing damage and, if it is Huge or smaller, it is grappled (escape DC 16). Until this grapple ends, the target is restrained, takes 1d6 piercing damage at the start of each of its turns, and you can’t use Grasping Chains. 

Devilish Form. While wearing the armor, as a bonus action you can invoke its infernal essence for 1 minute. For the duration, you gain the following effects:

Your skin turns blood red, your eyes glow like coals, and chains writhe across your body. 

Grasping Chains’ range increases to 60 feet. It deals an extra 2d8 fire damage when it hits a target.

You are immune to fire damage.

As a reaction when a creature starts its turn within 30 feet of you and you can see one another, you can create the illusion that you look like one of the creature's departed loved ones or bitter enemies. It must succeed on a DC 16 Wisdom saving throw or be frightened until the end of its turn. Creatures that can see through illusions are immune to this effect.

Once you’ve used Devilish Form, it cannot be used again until the next dawn.

Sentience. The Chain Devil’s Embrace is a sentient, lawful evil suit of armor with an Intelligence of 11, a Wisdom of 12, and a Charisma of 14. It has hearing and darkvision vision out to a range of 120 feet. The armor communicates telepathically to the creature attuned to it and can speak, read, and understand Infernal and Common.

A sadistic chain devil named Tyrastr lives within the Chain Devil’s Embrace. The armor yearns to inflict pain and tyranny on others. It doesn’t care what the beliefs of its wearer are, so long as they are enforced meticulously and transgressors are punished without mercy.

Curse. While wearing this armor, Tyrastr demands strict adherence to your oath. If you act contradictory to your oath or do not seize an opportunity to mercilessly pursue it, the chains constrict around you and you take 1d8 piercing damage. The damage increases by 1d8 with each subsequent transgression. If this damage reduces you to 0 hit points, you immediately die and your soul is sent to hell, where it is imprisoned by a chain devil warden.

Until your attunement to this armor ends, you have disadvantage on ability checks, attack rolls, and saving throws while wearing any other armor. A soldier kneels before you, defeated. Blood and sweat mats the hair to his face. Up close, you see he is a year or more from adulthood. The boy’s trembling rattles his armor. “The cur prostrates itself before you, make it suffer!” Tyrastr’s vile, metallic voice pierces through your mind, dripping with sadistic glee. “This one was there, watching your home burn!” Despite your commitment to destroy the Malefic Order for razing your temple, your rage falters. Killing this boy would be wrong. You turn your back and listen to his fleeing footsteps.  “Spineless worm! How will you avenge your brothers if you cannot do what is necessary!?” As these words reverberate through your skull, your chain armor constricts. Links of jagged iron bite into your flesh, reopening half-healed cuts. Blood mingles with rust. The pain is exquisite. - 🖌🎨 Like our work? Consider supporting us on Patreon and gain access to the hi-resolution art for over 200 magic items, printable item cards and card packs, beautiful creature art and stat blocks, and setting pdfs with narrative hooks and unique lore!🧙‍♂️ Thank you so much for your support! 💖

📜 Credit. Art and design by us: the Dungeon Strugglers. Please credit us if you repost elsewhere.

i miss her (ttrpg character i barely got to play)

Warforfed wizard

Some swampy water,

Blood of lamb...

I cast a curse:

2 gigs of RAM!!!!

IMPORTANT!!!

that is all

Damn intrusive narrator, always ridiculing my every move

Didn't realise it swung both ways

Nearly hit myself in the face with a bisexual door