Somewhere Down The Solar Lunacy Timeline You Get A Feral Housemate

sometimes I will rb a post about my shows or video games w no extra tags but irl it looks smth like this

"Humans are an invasive species" you're thinking of the British, actually 💙

can you imagine how freaky shark mermaids would be like unlike sharks, shark mermaids would have actual arms/hands and could rely on touching things with their hands to see if they’re prey rather than having to bite like sharks do. like youre just swimming in the ocean and suddenly you feel a strong grip on your leg, you freak the FUCK out because uh what????? the fuck??? youre swimming alone in the ocean??

a head pops out of the water, dorsal fin pointed from its back and it just points at you and says in a low whisper: “i thought you were a seal. please dont swim alone like this, im sorry i scared you i just wanted to see what you are” and then disappears back into the depth. what the fuck.

“I AIN’T NO RAT!” THE BATMAN (2022) dir. Matt Reeves

they’re going crazy

[id: It is four digital drawing pages of the turtles from rottmnt. The first one is of Leo and Donnie dressed up as Lavagirl and Sharkboy respectively; Leo is wearing a bright pink wig and they are both smiling smugly with their hands on their hips; next to that there is a drawing of Raph as Mr Electric. The second one is of Leo and Donnie, back to back with their arms crossed, dressed as Jessie and James from Pokemon; there is text next to them that reads “PREPARE FOR TROUBLE! AND MAKE IT DOUBLE!”. The third drawing is of Leo and Donnie dressed as Jessie and James again, screaming and shooting their arms out, while Mikey is between them dressed as Meowth, holding his hands up as if they were paws. The last drawing is of Leo and Donnie dressed as Sans and Papyrus from Undertale respectively. Donnie is gesturing with one hand with the other one on his hip as he lets out a laugh; Leo is grinning and winking with his hands on his pockets./ end id ]

this is immensely funny to me

The more intelligent you are the more serious it sounds when someone says you "had an accident"

dog = pissed on the floor

toddler = spilled some milk

professor = permanently disfigured by vapors

In case you didn't see

John Mulaney decided to surprise the crowd for his show last night by having Dave Chappelle open up

Chappelle made transphobic and homophobic jokes, which Mulaney clapped for and hugged Chappelle as he got off stage

No one knew Chappelle would show up

Trans and gay people in the crowd were attacked by the comedian on stage without warning

If you care about trans people

If you care about gay people

You will not support either of them anymore