Odysseus Is A Bird

Odysseus: You like bad boys, right?

Penelope: Yeah, so?

Odysseus: Not trying to show off, but when the GPS said turn left I turned right.

Penelope:

Penelope: You got lost, didn't you?

Odysseus: ...Yeah.

ODISEO and ALEXANDER HAMILTON !!

Odysseus no perdona ni una (literal)

Eurylochus: Ody, you gotta stop.. with this "pissing off the gods" thing—

Odysseus: Miss me with that gay shit

Eurylochus: WHAT GAY SHIT, THE LAW!??!?

Odysseus @ Achilles

this came to me about 0.2 seconds after the stream ended

they’re consuming my brain please send help i cant live like this anymore!!!!!!

In your hc, what made Ody try to stab Dio during their mission?

I made a fic about that whole situation, in the little iliad it was for Odysseus to claim all the glory from the mission. But for my own interpretation, he did it on a blink of pure pressure of being this perfect warrior Athena intended for him to be. He feels the need to be ahead of others and not having any weaknesses and with that pressure bottling inside, I imagine that in the one moment of the heist he finally snapped and lashed out on Diomedes, the only person he let his guard down with,the only person he think he can be vulnerable with. Part of him denied this thought and it led to his attempt to stab Diomedes.

Which he actually regrets almost immediately the moment he went for the stab. Luckily Diomedes managed to dodge it in time. In that moment he probably is relieved that he failed to do so, it was a moment of pressure and he couldn’t think properly anyway. Now he has a whole new problem to deal with of trying to convince Diomedes not to kill him.

(And….the fic is entirely in Thai and I don’t have the power to translate all those in to English🥶 sorry)

Penelope will always be a girlboss because by sitting behind the 12 axes she told the suitors to shoot through cleanly, not only was she

mocking them by being showing she was fully confident they wouldn’t succeed

But also BASICALLY TELLING EVERYONE THAT THEY WILL NEVER BE BETTER THAN HER HUSBAND WHO ACTUALLY COULD SHOOT THROUGH 12 AXES.

AND ON TOP IF THAT PROVING HER LOVE TO ODY BY SAYING THAT IF ANYONE WERE TO EVER SUCCEED THE CHALLENGE AND BECOME KING, THEY WOULD’VE KILLED HER BY DOING SO. QUITE LITERALLY, SHED RATHER DIE THAN RULE WITH ANYONE OTHER THAN ODYSSEUS!!!

The moment that broke me in "Would you fall in love with me again" is that Odysseus is there having an identity crisis but Penelope just goes "I've waited twenty years I don't have time for shit"

Like, Penelope is a smart woman, which is part of what makes her such a perfect match for Ody. The wedding bed in the olive tree was just a quick test and Ody fell for it

And after Ody tells her that he can't move the bed, Penelope got the confirmation she wanted, and she's almost angry. You can hear it in her voice. She's waited for so, so long, she's done waiting. She doesn't give a fuck anymore, he's here, he loves her, and that's all that matter.

So of course she'll fall in love with him again.

She never fell out of it.

She loved him and loved him and loved him.

And in return,

He came home.

Eurylochus: umm, captain?

Odysseus: yes?

Eurylochus: since we’re not going to be killed by Poseidon, I feel like you should know this, I opened the wind bag.

Odysseus: ok.

Eurylochus: that’s it?

Odysseus: yeah. I mean if you opening up the wind bag had bigger consequences I would be PISSED! But nothing happened. So yeah just don’t do something like that again. Deal?

Eurylochus: oh, uh yeah deal. I was expecting you to be angrier, but I guess since nothing happened we have nothing to worry about! Awesome! Can’t wait to go home and see my wife.

Odysseus: as I can’t wait to see mine.

*Meanwhile at Ithaca.*

Telemachus: so, my dad blinded your son, and then made a dad joke to you?

Poseidon: a few things left out, but yeah you get the gist.

Telemachus: what does that have to do with me? I’m like 5.

Poseidon: just a heads up, when your dad comes back, I’ll give you and him like pffft, how does 5 minutes sound?

Telemachus: why kill him at all? Just leave him be?

Poseidon: BECAUSE I HAVE A FUCKING REPUTATION TO KEEP UP! Dumb fuck.

Telemachus: will anyone even care by then?

Poseidon: ugh yes! Zeus will! Like he’s such an 💅asshole💅!