"nobody Likes You" WELL CALL ME PENELOPE OF ITHACA AND SPARTA THEN BECAUSE HOOOOO BOY-

Eurylochus: umm, captain?

Odysseus: yes?

Eurylochus: since we’re not going to be killed by Poseidon, I feel like you should know this, I opened the wind bag.

Odysseus: ok.

Eurylochus: that’s it?

Odysseus: yeah. I mean if you opening up the wind bag had bigger consequences I would be PISSED! But nothing happened. So yeah just don’t do something like that again. Deal?

Eurylochus: oh, uh yeah deal. I was expecting you to be angrier, but I guess since nothing happened we have nothing to worry about! Awesome! Can’t wait to go home and see my wife.

Odysseus: as I can’t wait to see mine.

*Meanwhile at Ithaca.*

Telemachus: so, my dad blinded your son, and then made a dad joke to you?

Poseidon: a few things left out, but yeah you get the gist.

Telemachus: what does that have to do with me? I’m like 5.

Poseidon: just a heads up, when your dad comes back, I’ll give you and him like pffft, how does 5 minutes sound?

Telemachus: why kill him at all? Just leave him be?

Poseidon: BECAUSE I HAVE A FUCKING REPUTATION TO KEEP UP! Dumb fuck.

Telemachus: will anyone even care by then?

Poseidon: ugh yes! Zeus will! Like he’s such an 💅asshole💅!

Penelope Watching Odysseus Show Off

Odysseus: [ dramatically throws a spear and nails the target ]

Penelope: You do realize I don’t care, right?

Odysseus: Yeah, but … did you see it?

Penelope: I literally just said I don’t care.

Athena, whispering to Penelope: He’s trying so hard. Maybe clap or something.

Young married couple

Odysseus is a bird

Who confessed first? Ody or Dio?

The thing is I have 2 separate stories on Odydio. One is for the happy go lucky everyone is happy and lean more on Headcanon (OdyDioPen AU ofc). The other, is what I actually think would most likely actually happened in my hc of Diomedes and Odysseus relationship.

The happy one, Dio definitely confessed. King of Ithaca will spend hours explaining his complicated relationship with Dio without actually confirming nor denies it. Diomedes becomes part of the Ithaca family and happily married Ody and Penelope. 💙

As for the other, none confessed. While Odysseus does love and appreciate time they had, Dio was a comfort for him, someone that he managed to depend on emotionally at war and the only thing closest to ‘home’ for Odysseus. Diomedes is deeply in love with Odysseus because he is someone who truly sees him as himself, not his father. Someone who finds humanity within him. Odysseus is aware of that affection, but both dare not to speak about it, Diomedes knows Odysseus ‘home’ is at Ithaca and not himself. They parted at Troy and had their goodbye. Odysseus expected Dio to finally confess his feeling but Dio chose not to do so. He doesn’t want Ody to feel guilty about his own feelings. He wouldn’t want to be selfish so he’ll keep that feeling to himself forever. His only desire is for Ody to happily return home.

Oh lord I need to consume OdyDioPen content immediately after typing this, god😞

My favorite frame from live stream

But I got lazy : D

Odysseus and Penelope before Ody leaving for war

Epic but it's just a DnD game (part 2)

Part 1

Odysseus: “How could I hurt you?” DM: *Rolls twice* Odysseus: “What are you doing?” DM: “Rolling for persuasion. With disadvantage, since Astyanax is a baby” Zeus: “And?” DM: “Two nat 1’s” Zeus: *raises eyebrows smugly* Odysseus: *deep sigh* “But when does a comet become a meteor-"

DM: “Okay Odysseus, since you rolled a nat 20 on your persuasion check, Polyphemus is going to let you go” Odysseus: “I’m so glad we see eye to eye” DM: “Actually, make another persuasion check” Odysseus: “What? Why?” DM: “Just do it” Odysseus: “…4” DM: “Everyone roll for initiative”

Poseidon “The world is dark and ruthlessness is mercy… die” DM: “Everyone make a constitution saving throw. And I mean everyone” *sounds of many many dice rolling* “Nat 1” “Nat 1" “Nat 1" “Nat 1” “Nat 1”

Eurylochus: “She had us in just two words…” DM: “Make a performance check” Eurylochus: “Nat 20!!” *clears throat* “✨Come inside✨” DM: “His Circe impression is flawless" Odysseus: “Damn”

DM: “Among the spirits of the Underworld, you hear a voice you recognize… and now, please welcome our special guest” *Polites crawls out from underneath the table* Odysseus: “Polites?!” Eurylochus: “How long have you been down there??” Polites: “This life is amazing when you greet it with open arms…” DM: “Polites drifts away… but Odysseus, you hear another voice you recognize. Now, please welcome our second special guest” *Odysseus’s actual mom crawls out from under the table* Odysseus: “MOM?! How did the DM even get your number??”

DM: “Odysseus, as you stand at the edge of the cliff, lost in your despair, you hear three familiar voices” Odysseus: *looks under the table and screams* Polites, Anticlea, and Eurylochus, in unison: “Hi!!” Telemachus: “Have they been down there the whole time??” Athena: “You get used to it”

DM: “Odysseus, as Poseidon’s trident sends you shooting to the bottom of the ocean, you hear-" Odysseus: “Familiar voices?” DM: “How did you guess?” Odysseus: *glances under the table to where Polites, Eurylochus, Anticlea, and literally the entire crew are very poorly concealed*

Antinous: “Channel the fire inside your soul and-“ DM: “Make a dexterity saving throw” Antinous: “Literally why I’m in the middle of a monologue” DM: “Just humor me” Antinous: “So that’s a nat 1” DM: “Goodbye, Antinous” “wHAT-"

passing the torch.

i think a lot about how odysseus’s experiences might’ve affected his parenting