My Pastor On National Coming Out Day.

Today is #WorldToiletDay. Did you know 2.5 billion people - 36% of the world’s population - don’t have access to a clean and safe toilet?

Learn how we work with communities around the world to end #opendefecation and provide clean and safe toilets for all: http://uni.cf/1qrPCSk

RANT Warning: indelicate language and imagery. Okay, so apparently as much as 54% of men and 42% of women are STUPID. I'm sorry but I'm not gonna be all politically correct about this. Anyone who answered yes to any of those questions is STUPID. STUPID AND WRONG.  For anyone out there who's a little bit confused....

RAPE IS NEVER OKAY. 

No matter what. No matter who long you've been dating, no matter how much money he spent, no matter what her level of sobriety, no matter what he's seen of her or done with her, no matter what mixed signals he's gotten, NO MATTER WHAT. It's not okay to force sex on a woman who does not want it.  And let's just stop and examine two of the conditions up there:  a) He is so turned on he thinks he can't stop. b) She gets him excited sexually. 

Ohmygoodness. MAN UP. Newsflash: Guys get turned on all the time. It's not exactly a novel thing. Guys can get turned on for no apparent reason. 

As a guy, are you seriously gonna try and tell me that you couldn't help it?  (This is where it gets graphic) ...That your dick was hard so you just HAD to ram it inside of her? That's bullshit! (I get vulgar when I get angry).  Oh, you were horny. Oh you poor baby. My heart bleeds for you, it really does.  MAN UP.

You're not an animal. You're not a robot. You don't HAVE to do everything your body wants you to. As a human, you SHOULD have morals. And you are able to reason and make choices. If you know that rape is ALWAYS WRONG (which it is) then you CAN walk away. You are not so weak that you are helpless against the primitive desires of your flesh.  So when I hear someone say something like "he's so turned on he thinks he can't stop" or "she gets him excited sexually", you know what I think? I think that "he" is a cowardly, lazy, spineless, weak, pathetic BOY. Because any man who cannot master his body and decide to respect women despite his physical urges is no man at all. 

I find it really interesting that you only need to know three things about me in order to know absolutely everything about me. If I were to tell you that I have the spiritual gift of mercy, that my personality is ENFP, and that I exhibit maladaptive perfectionism, you would have all the information you’d ever need to predict exactly how I will behave in literally any given situation. You’d be able to learn my moral code of ethics, my motivation, my strengths and weaknesses, my decision-making process, my bad habits, my unhealthy behaviours, and my coping mechanisms. Which means that you’d already know me far better than I ever want anyone to know me. What’s truly funny about all of this is that all those things are Nature, not Nurture. I was hardwired that way. That’s just who I am as a person. And I am physically incapable of behaving in a way that is contrary to my nature. I’m basically programmed that way. I’m essentially a robot obeying commands. I’m so easily summarized by a few choice labels. I’m nothing more than the combination of a select few traits. And I’m thoroughly predictable. 

Plot twist: as a christian, homophobia offends and appalls me far more than homosexuality ever could.

Where do you draw the line at what's appropriate sexually before marriage?

I’m pretty conservative, so kissing is my limit. Like, I don’t want hands going ANYWHERE, not even above the belt. :P I try to follow these rules: 1. No clothes are coming off. 2. Don’t touch me anywhere that would be covered by a bikini.

I just do this because the road to sex is a very slippery slope, and I’m worried that once you start down that slope, it’s really hard to stop. And to me, it’s too much of a risk to take, so I’d prefer to stay faaaaaar away from that slope at all, and make absolutely certain that nothing’s gonna happen. I just don’t know how strong my will power is, and I’d really prefer not to find out, haha :P

Thanks for the question! Peace and love! -Katherine

Kinda urgent (tho it may not sound it) I'm trans and I watched some videos saying bein trans is a sin. This disturbed me deeply. I'm afraid what if God wants me to stop my transition, or else I won't be able to be with him. If thats what Jesus meant by picking up my cross? I don't want to stop transition at all but I don't want to go against Him either. I'm scared and confused. I don't want to think my gender identity is a temptation from Satan since it's so deeply who I am. (1/2)

(2/2) I feel so distraught and like my world is coming apart. I feel distant from God and fearful of Him rather than knowing His love. I’m scared and I don’t know what to do or how to reconcile my gender identity with Him. It’s making me question my faith, when all I want is to be close to God. I know this may not sound urgent but it’s destroying me inside and I don’t know why. Do you have any thoughts on this whole thing? I’m sorry if this is a bother or not seemingly urgent.

Hi there, anon. I’m sorry those videos shook you so much – I’ve been there. It’s sucks, but it’s okay. You’re okay.

First off, I promise that God loves you so, so deeply. And God made you how you are. Jesus came that we might have fullness of life, not to make us live in fear or so that we might continue to live under the chains of social norms. Because the gender binary is a social norm – and we are called not to conform to the world but to be transformed in Christ.

God does not set ultimatums that force us to chop off pieces of ourselves, or squeeze ourselves into boxes that don’t fit, in order to live with God. This post has a quote from a womanist theologian on how God calls us to wholeness, and what that means for LGBT+ Christians in particular. And here is a post with a string of tweets that show how God loves us as we are – rather than saying, “In order to love you, I must make you into something else,” God says, “I receive you as you are – and I come to help you become your fullest, truest self.”

With all of the above information – that God comes to affirm our fullest selves – we do need to take the concept of carrying the cross into account as well. Luckily, Austen Hartke’s Transgender and Christian series has a video on how being trans is not “Our Cross to Bear.” (If you have trouble hearing videos, let me know and I’ll write out a synopsis of the video for you tomorrow!)

His videos “Self Denial or Abundant Life?” and “Abundant Life AND Self Denial?” are also ones that would help you understand how God calls us to abundance that includes transitioning. (Again, let me know if you need a textual summary of the vids.)

Jesus assures us that we can know sin by its fruit, and we can know goodness by its fruit. So let’s look at the fruits of trying to live as cis when we aren’t, versus the fruits of embracing being trans.

Common fruits of living as cis when we aren’t: depression and anxiety from dysphoria; feelings of isolation from other humans and from yourself; feelings of anger, often against God, and thus a lack of strong relationship with God

Common fruits of embracing being trans: gender euphoria!; renewed energy and feelings of joy and thanksgiving that we can use to serve and connect with others as well as to praise God; deeper understandings of ourselves and new experiences that may shape who we are and give us wisdom; a connection to a marginalized community that helps us develop empathy we can use to serve others.

(Some Austen Hartke vids related to these ideas of good fruit: x, x). 

Embracing being trans bears good fruit, while trying to repress it (as well as transphobia) tends to bear harmful fruit. For more on the idea of good fruit, see this tag. Satan is not “making” you trans, because if that were the case, it would not bear good fruit.

God delights in diversity, anon. We are all made so uniquely, with different gifts to offer. I believe being trans is a part of that – we have a unique perspective to offer others – a unique view on our bodies, our minds and spirits, on the gender binary and harmfulness of gender roles, and more. 

Another video to help calm your worries about physically transitioning, this video by Austen is helpful too. 

Here’s a prayer on transitioning that also might help.

For more resources, including responses to common arguments against trans/LGBT people using Scripture, see the “But what does the Bible say?” and the trans section of our resources page. 

I’m going to post now so you’ll have this; I might add to it tomorrow so keep a lookout for updates. Take a look at the links, and take a moment for some self care. Then, if you have more questions, you are welcome to ask them here! We are here for you anon; you are not alone. <3

Body Positivity Rant

You are sooooooooo so much more than your body. 

Please don't hate me for the length.

Hey! Have you heard the song I Celebrate the Day by Relient K? It's from their Christmas album. They are my favorite band, and it is one of my favorite songs by them. I was wondering your opinion on it. :)

Hey! I don't know a lot of Relient K's work, but thankfully, I do know that one! It's possibly, if not my favourite, one of my favourites from that album. I quite like it! I especially like the line "I celebrate the day that you were born to die, so that I might one day pray to you to save my life." I think that's beautiful. The chorus is interesting: "The first time that you opened your eyes,did you realize that you would be my saviour?" It's a good question. A lot of people think he always knew. Some people think that He acquired His divine wisdom gradually, or that He took advantage of His god status selectively. Or perhaps He was a human vessel so thoroughly empty that He relied on God for everything, and He couldn't begin proper reliance until His human brain had developed sufficiently. It's really a very difficult question because we have no idea how this dual identity even worked for Him  - fully God and fully man…like, what? So I very much appreciate the question they pose in this song. But yeah, I love it. I think it's a great song. 

Can you please watch the video "rapping for Jesus" and tell me your opinion on it? Thank you!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA just watched it, and I have to say that I always get a kick out of painfully awkward Christian videos. I make fun of myself all the time, because we can be a pretty ridiculous bunch. For example, I love the "Sh*tuff Christian Girls Say" video and quote it aaaaaalll the time hahaha.. "God is love, enough said. Hashtag, BOOM." There was one problem with the "Rappin' for Jesus" video, though. They kept saying that Jesus is their "n****"!! I think it was a misguided attempt to emulate rap culture and slang but really ended up being pretty disrespectful. I would personally NEVER EVER EVER EVER say that word! I know some people who say it, and they're like "I'm just joking" and I'm like "that's not funny." It's made sooo much worse by the fact that they are just. so. white. haha So..yeah. I honestly didn't take it very seriously and therefore found nothing excessively good or excessively bad about it. Except the n-word thing. That's not cool. What did you think of it? :P  Peace and love! -Katherine