At Some Point, The Time May Come When You Can't Go Any Further On Your Own Anymore. In Other Words: I

Suddenly the soul no longer plays along. My body feels empty. Don’t be like that, I tell myself. Hang in there, you won’t let it get you down. I’m trying to play cool. But that costs additional strength. Darkness comes more and more often. My gaze is empty. My body’s getting heavy. I can’t hide it anymore. The abyss captivates me.

Responsibility

As long as I do not take full responsibility for myself, I will continue to wander the world, hoping to find my happiness somewhere. But where should I look if not in me? The avoidance and evasion of unpleasant feelings increasingly reduces one's own room for maneuver. Running away cannot be a permanent solution.

Open up

It's important to me to show the people around me how I feel. Dropping the mask, putting me through to others. This is not an easy task and requires a lot of effort. Feelings of shame and worthlessness are spreading. Opening up to this vulnerability is unfamiliar.

Have a beautiful day!

I sincerely wish you the same, from the bottom of my heart!

World off – Headphones on

What are you missing the most in your life at the moment?

@emmazinzin

I had stopped feeling, feeling what my emotions wanted to tell me. Eventually the pressure became so strong that I couldn’t ignore it. And I was amazed at how big the emotional memory of my subconscious seems to be. I was getting more and more aware that I couldn’t run away from myself.

Thank you for your kind messages, they have really kept my will to live for a very long time. Now is the time to say goodbye to you and my life. Thanks for everything!

I am very sorry that you feel so hopeless right now that you are considering suicide! Even if you can’t really see it right now: Things in your life can go better again! There is usually no situation so hopeless that there is no reason to hope for a recovery. Think about the following three reasons why it might still be worth living on.

First reason: Your situation can change

Always remember that stressful situations, no matter how hopeless they may seem at the moment, can change and even suddenly change for the better. Even if this does not happen as quickly as you would like, you shouldn’t try to solve all problems at once, but to look at them for yourself every day.

Of course, there are always circumstances that cannot be changed, e.g. if you suffer from a chronic illness, lose a loved one through death or break up a marriage. In these cases, too, something can be done: Change your own mindset. You can either endlessly mourn what has happened unchangingly, or you can come to terms with it mentally. In that case it is easier to see one’s own situation more positively. It is also more likely to look for ways to deal with the situation than to put an end to it with drastic means. This brings you to the point where you are no longer completely helpless in a situation that seems unchangeable.

You should also never forget the following: If you cannot climb a mountain at once, you may manage it in several stages - step by step. The same applies to most obstacles in life, no matter how huge they may seem.

You can do one thing right now: Talk to someone about the situation, for example a friend or family member. Maybe he or she can help you not to see things so badly anymore.

A second reason for choosing life: There’s help!

People who care about you can be a help. These can be relatives, friends and others who are personally interested in you. If they may not always approach you on their own, you may be able to address them and pour out your heart in a face-to-face conversation.

Then there is also professional help, which you should absolutely take with thoughts of suicide. Often these thoughts are caused by a severe depression for which no one should be ashamed, just as no one should be ashamed of a physical illness. Depression is like a cold among mental illnesses. In theory, anyone can get it - and there are treatment options. If your suicidal thoughts are very strong or persistent, you should find out where you can get help, perhaps at emergency hotlines or other suicide prevention advice centres. They are staffed by trained personnel. Here are a few places you could contact:

Emergency counseling: telephone hotline (free of charge, 24 h)The telephone counselling staff listen to you well, take part in your problems and can refer you to the appropriate facilities if necessary. You can get anonymous advice here at any time of the day or night.

Social psychiatric service: It offers counselling and further assistance to people in psychological crises. Often you will find this service at the health office or you can ask for the address and telephone number at the municipal office.

Counselling centres of the youth welfare offices, child guidance centres and marriage, family and life counselling centres: these are contact points for the most varied problems in every town and municipality.

Online advice: There are many different websites that offer help.

Please do not forget that you cannot get out of a serious mental crisis alone, but if someone helps you, you can make it! Outpatient therapy also helps many to regain more self-confidence and to find strategies for overcoming their problems. It is also important to have someone you can trust and always pour your heart out to.

Here’s a third reason to go on living: There is hope!

Even if you have reached your limits for a long time, this does not mean that a ray of hope will not light up at some point. As already said, situations change, not everything stays the same, desolate and hopeless forever. Your illness can be like a long dark tunnel, whose end you cannot see at the moment. But remember that at some point even the longest tunnel will be over and you will see the daylight again. Many before you have been like this, and so it can be in your case! Even if it’s hard, make one thing your motto: “Giving up is not an option”. This attitude can help you never lose hope, no matter how dark it looks around you.

I wish you very much that with the help and support of others you succeed in overcoming your bad emotional low and that you make the discovery that it is also worth living on in your case. All the best!

Tell me something about your s/o!

It is so difficult to express in words what I feel for her, because she is unique to me.

She touches my heart and soul so deeply. How can I describe what she means to me? Not a single word seems to have enough content to fill these feelings.

She is the life-giving impulse that gently touches the flower in the morning and persuades it to open up and show itself in all its beauty. She is as unique as this young flower in its full splendour for me. Among all the flowers in a garden, I would recognize her because she is unique. Only her shapes and colors fit me and I would see that, even if someone else couldn’t tell her apart from her flower sisters.

She is unique to me because each of her looks hit deep in my heart. If she is sad, I feel with her with every fibre of my being. She’s totally my nature. For her I am ready to explore and experience something new, which she likes, and I'll also take her with me to areas of life that are so far unfathomable for her, if she wants me to. I want to learn to see the world with her eyes, to perceive the scent of a rose as she does and to learn to love the people she likes. If she wants me to, I’ll show her the world as I see it and share my friends with her if she wants to.

I want to share and experience all this with her because she is unique. I sincerely hope that it will be similar for her and that together we can enjoy life in all its beautiful facets and help and support each other when life becomes more difficult. Because she is unique to me, I only want her love from the bottom of my heart for now and ever.

Light does not mean that there is no more night, but that the night can be illuminated and overcome.