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Depressive. - Blog Posts
I’m trying so hard not to feel this way, to hate him, to feel resentment. But it’s so hard when all he does is talk about that friend. Idk if I’m hurting because it’s so easy for him to make close connections with people, or if I’m hurting because the guy I need to be around 24/7 doesn’t want to be with me 24/7.
I need more friends. I wish it was easy for me to meet and talk to people. To be close to others.
Just let me let go. I’m tired of trying.
Wishing Upon An Imaginary Shooting Star #2 // Å.G.P
You should have never even said hello.
– I’m sorry // Å.G.P
You think that everyone is important, but for some reason you don’t think that applies to you.
It does. I promise. // Å.G.P.
It wasn’t supposed to be like this. We weren’t supposed to cry at night and hide ourselves from the world. I hate it. I just want my life back.
Wishing Upon An Imaginary Shooting Star #1 // Å.G.P.
JUST LET GO OF THE MEMORIES
a message to my broken mind // Å.G.P.
She’s a bitch. Her tips and tricks take over your head and suddenly lunch is water and dinner is ice and all you’re eating is gum and peppermint candies. But it’s not your fault, It’s hers.
Forgive Yourself // ÅGP
Shh, Don’t make a sound, my love. They’ll never understand what you’ve done. No matter how far you haven’t come, they’ll still think that happiness won. If they hear about your pain, chances are things still won’t change. Maybe one day they will see, But by then you’ll just be a memory.
Å.G.P.
Yeah, stars can’t shine without darkness. But what do you do when even the stars start to fade away?
}Å.G.P.{
And once again I find myself in class, writing sad quotes instead of doing my work.
The Quiet Girl In The Back // Å.G.P.
During the day, I try as hard as hard as I can to be positive. And most days.. I succeed :) But every single night, the pain comes rushing back. And I don’t think any amount of positivity will end that…
Å.G.P.
But darling, you help everyone. Well... Everyone but yourself.
It’s exhausting, isn’t it? // Å.G.P.
You know, I used to be your first choice. Sometimes I wonder why I’m not anymore but then I remember that it’s because she came into your life, and who would ever choose the broken depressed girl over the beautiful happy girl?
The Broken Depressed Girl // Å.G.P.
Sometimes I wonder if you even want to be my friend. You never seem to want to talk to me, so why not take it one step farther?
Å.G.P.
That moment when you’re sitting in class and trying to pay attention, but eventually you just give up because all you can think about are the memories. The memories that you made with meaningless people back when you were naive and oblivious to how easily they could shatter your glass heart. But you’re stronger now because you’ve finally rebuilt it. This time out of solid steel instead of the fragile glass you used the first time. But there is one big flaw in fixing a broken heart… The memories will never disappear. Your brain will never let you out of the prison you created. There is no way to escape… So you continue sit in class and try to pay attention, but it will never work because all you can think about are the memories.
Å.G.P.
Her: I feel like it’s always raining..
Him: How?
Her: The whole world just seems so gray. It’s as if someone laid an everlasting blanket of fog over me.
Him: But you said things were getting better..
Her: I thought they were, but how could it possibly get better when people just keep hurting me. How could I feel better when there isn’t a single person who likes me.
Him: I like you.
Her: you’re lying
Him: I'm not!... *sigh* I don't think you understand how much I love you..
I wonder what it would feel like to not be sad all the time. To believe in yourself. To trust people when they say they care about you. To reply with something other than "Fine" when people ask you how you’re doing. To wake up in the morning and not have your first thought be "I don’t want to do this anymore"
//Å.G.P.//
We can get through the daytime without a single black thought. But as soon as our heads hit the pillow and the lights go out, our minds are quickly consumed by the darkness. When we open our eyes the next morning we feel the same way we had the day before. “fine.” But every time we open our eyes after a night of darkness, a bit more of our light has slipped away from us. I can’t help but think that someday all the light will be gone. So tell me… How do you live without light?
You don't.
I swear, no matter what I do I still end up fucking up my relationships and friendships with other people.
Why the hell do they keep giving me more chances?....I wouldn't.
Her: I don't trust you anymore.
Me: .. Makes sense.
Her: How?
Me: I don't even trust me, so why would you?
You only like me when you're lonely..
Unknown
How am I supposed to move on when every time I try you just start flirting with me again.
I keep going back to you
I need to learn the fucking difference between people that MAKE time to talk to me and people that HAVE time to talk to me.
I thought you made time for me, but I thought wrong.
Every night I find myself staring at my ceiling… Just thinking about you. And every night I just come to the same realizations. If you cared about me, you would be texting me instead of her. If you cared about me, you would try to make our conversations last longer. If you cared about me, you would talk to me even if there were other people to talk to.
But you don’t care about me…. Not anymore.
Just forget about me
Everyone else has
Everyone who gets close to me
just
gets
hurt
It may be cold now, and it may seem like it will never be warm again. But summer WILL come. The sun WILL shine. And the warmth WILL come back.
I hope