Digital-dissociation-blog - Digital Dissociation

YOU GOT THIS

Your health matters!

You can’t help anyone unless you help yourself.

Rest, Heal and be happy.

Ｒ∆ＤＩＯ ＮＯＷＨヨＲヨ

Told all my friends I was going to bed and ended up having anpanic attack an hour lster with no guts to reach out to anyone :”) I feel like im dying ans my brain is convinced Im dying and I feel two seconds from bursting into tears and calling my FP to have him calm me down..But I wont. Ill just lay here suffering in fear because I just cant bring myself to do things..

Suicide attempt or just a fuck up?

Who knows.

Abusive parents force you to hide things you would otherwise never have to worry about hiding, because you learn that they can flip out about anything, make a scene from anything, misunderstand one detail and go insane over it. So you don’t tell them about anything you can avoid, and you try to deal with things yourself as much as humanely possible, which takes the burden of taking care of you from them, and onto your shoulders.

This is dangerous as well because you don’t tell them about a friend who did something horrible to you, you don’t tell them about a sociopath who tried to groom or touch you, you don’t tell them about horrifying heartbreak you feel when someone abandons you, you don’t tell them when your world is falling apart because you know that at best, they’ll be uninterested, at worst, they will tell you it was your fault and you deserved it.

Living in secrecy becomes normal and when you develop trauma symptoms it once again feels like it’s your fault because you never said anything, you never told them how much they were hurting you, you didn’t speak up and open up about your problems. But how in the world would you? You know if you had, all that you would get is insults, blame, threats, guilt and shame thrown in your face, how could you possibly take that on top of having trauma symptoms? You can’t, it’s not worth risking. Suffering in silence becomes your only survival option, and you watch your heart break a little more every day that nobody cares that you’re breaking apart.

therapist: how was your week?

me: mm.. i can’t remember

I honestly believe that people who lost their childhood, teenage years to mental illness and/or trauma are so strong for still being here. Especially once you’re about 18-25 and trying to relearn how to be in society and healthy and human.

Especially when you decide to work towards getting better.

Especially when your life isn’t where you wished it would be.

Stay alive okay? If you lost your youth, I’m sorry and I’m so proud of you for still being here. Keep fighting. Your best years are ahead of you.

what bpd is like

Bpd be like…

A minor inconvenience? Initiate RAGE

A stranger smiles at you? Initiate LOVE

Your fp doesn’t respond three minutes after you message them? InitiateDESPAIR

Someone bugs you slightly? Initiate HATRED

Something is slightly more than you (more anything at all)? Initiate JEALOUSY

Something good happens? Initiate EUPHORIA

and it all changes within seconds…