i avoid writing when i'm high because when i was in AA i had a conversation there with someone else that basically amounted to shitting on drunk/high me's writing ability.
and so now whenever i'm not sober yet feel the drive to write (something i have not felt while sober as readily. it's a rarity), i don't because i think. well anything i write now won't be as good, and it'll be inherently wrong/bad because i'll have written it from the perspective of someone who was high/drunk.
and i. wow. i am just now realizing that is incredibly cruel. it's dehumanizing actually - as if. high/drunk me (hi hello, it was just 4:20pm) is incapable of having a voice that's worthy of being heard? worthy of ever speaking at all? worthy of being remembered?
that's. that's fucking insane. wow. no wonder i guilt myself so much about my substance use. i literally did not guilt myself like this until other people reacted to me/my use in ways that felt shaming.
ah fuck. guilt/shame isn't a "symptom" of addiction. it's a result of how addicted people are treated, and how their relationships begin to decay. a lot of it is stigmatization, ableism, sanism, and not having a society of community care. awesome.
Do yourselves a favor, and tell your friend, sibling, family, whoever, that you care for them. Let them feel your genuine gratitude and love you have for them, cause everyone deserves the support.
when coping from the knowledge of being a csa survivor, how does one even begin to make peace with the idea that the original version of you, when you were still eager and energetic and authentically you was taken from you?
i still regularly think about the little girl who never got to live because now i’m here.
quieter than she was. shyer. more reserved. less innocent. far more afraid. far more paranoid. less trusting. less brave. less sure of myself.
less, in general.
she’s gone and that makes me sad that i can never be her again.
Ah
Isnt this the person who messaged me about the Anti ribbun thing on my posts?
I have no idea, are they? I mean AFAIK they were also anti-ribbun
I just saw someone compare Jax (the fictional rabbit) to Ted Bundy and Jeffery Dahmer (serial killers who have tortured and murdered real people)
.
Stay safe out there y'all
It's ok to be scared. But it's not forever.
many autistic people need people use simpler words when talking to them
many autistic people need tasks broken into tiny steps to understand how do something
many autistic people need positive feedback in way that other think condescending
many autistic people childish and have childish interests
many autistic people have to always be supervised never alone because of risk of hurt self or get in dangerous situations
many autistic people have violent messy big meltdown, even in public
many autistic people struggle with speech always will maybe rest of life (non verbal, semi verbal, demi verbal etc.)
AND most of these autistic people higher support needs + level 2 & 3 autism, don’t forget or ignore us. can’t say “that not true just stereotypes” when it just symptom and sign of higher support needs higher level autism.
you want to raise awareness for lower support needs level 1 autism and yes good ok!!!! but not this way where throw HrSN level 2+3 autistic under bus.
- winnie