My Son Thor In His Socks!

What if you combined a bag vacuum cleaner, like a Kirby, with bagpipes?

Last night I dreamt that Drawfee's newest bit was just saying "are you telling me these pants are hot?" and "these sure are some hot pants." over and over again.

Gosh imagine having a computer powerful enough to simulate every cell/DNA in a rabbit's body and also do it billions of times and use that to realistically and rapidly simulate the potential evolution of rabbits in multiple seed world scenarios including multiple scenarios with different co-inhabitants and predators.

I would sell my soul for this.

March 20 2005 4/20/05

Tomorrow is it.

I "die" and then we head off to the air port..

Luckily they scarecly even ask for your name anymore.

So getting through will be no big deal.

we're going all the way to the middle of no where in Canada.

Cabin in the woods type deal.

We'll perform the cerimony, make a litlle sacrifice and then...

No soul.

The single most important piece of writing advice I would give to a lot of amateur writers is to write less beautifully - or at least to write beautifully less.

I rarely find a piece of writing I can't read because it's too simple, or too concise and to-the-point - not memorable, perhaps, but also not a headache on a page. On the other hand, I see loads of pieces which are effectively unreadable because they're far too rich to swallow, and badly in need of watering down a bit.

The absolute worst culprit is the dialogue tags and stage directions. I'm a big fan of letting people write in their own style, but I would love it if a lot of writers could please cool it with letting me know every time a character blinks or licks their lips. I don't need to know that, especially if it happens every time they speak.

So many dialogue excerpts look like this:

"So this is how we talk?" he queried quietly, his eyebrows furrowed into knots. "Apparently," she replied with a puzzled grin, bouncing on the balls of her feet with restless energy. "Isn't that... exhausting?" he questioned, a lop-sided smile snaking its way across his lips. "The bouncing?" she asked shyly, her eyelids fluttering in shame. "No, of course not," he told her, his lean arms reached out to pull her closer. He buried his face into the mess of her hair, taking a deep breath of her perfume. "I just feel a little nauseated by all of these actions." "I don't know what you mean," she giggled, brushing the hair back out of her eyes as her cheeks flushed red. "Don't worry," he sighed, rolling his eyes up towards the ceiling.

I'm assuming this is a convention that comes from somewhere, given its ubiquity - perhaps somewhere in the world of fanfiction, where there will be short, intimate pieces entirely focused on the ways in which characters interact with each other. But to me, in an original work, it's so exhausting that I can't make it down the rest of the page.

Dialogue may be the worst, or most obvious offender, but the same principle extends pretty much everywhere else. Each line doesn't have to be some great quote you can hang on your wall, and it's hard to read a whole story written like that.

There's been some recent backlash on here against modern films where every line of dialogue is a quip, at the expense of building an authentic conversation, but that's how a lot of people start out writing - thinking that each sentence should be made as flowery as possible, when too many flowers in the same pot will crowd each other out.

You need to leave some gaps to let the sunlight in, and illuminate the beauty of the occasional flourish you do include. Think of it like vanilla extract, to make a reference that was topical when I started writing this post: you need to add a little for flavour, without which the writing will be too dull, but tip the bottle and I will actually be sick. Write beautifully less. Learn to embrace the prosaic.

This also applies to self care as well.

not sure if this will make sense to anyone besides me but: the antidote to negativity is not positivity, its warmth

Yes.

They should take a cue from Discworld and give him a cameo in every Shrek movie from now on every time someone dies. 

frankly think a lot of glados android designs are kinda bland so I present to u whatever the fuck this is

(edit: yes i know its not an android technically. u can now stop saying this.)