Signs You Were Not Doing Well As A Child:

on Tuesday I'm seeing my GI doctor to find out if I'm getting an ileostomy and I am absolutely freaking out about it. deep breaths

This song is such a fucking gift

losing your skills and abilities to physical disability can be so scary. especially when you don't know where it's going to end. where the same day a year ago you could walk unaided and now you can't cook while standing. it's okay to be afraid, to mourn what you used to do and what you might have done. nobody is allowed to tell you that you have to be positive, be a "warrior" of your condition, or that you can't mourn.

Don’t talk shit about people’s teeth. Seriously.

Speaking as a major dental hygiene enthusiast…

Great-looking teeth come from two things: luck and money (which is also a function of luck).

Dental procedures tend to be very, very expensive, and are almost never covered by insurance.

Healthy teeth aren’t necessarily big, straight or bright white. Depending on what someone’s natural teeth are like, achieving that look may require a significant downgrade in their dental health; unnecessary crowns and veneers cause damage.

Do not underestimate genetics’ role in determining teeth’s appearance, or how prone teeth are to problems. Genes and early development, i.e. things people get zero control over, can outweigh all else.

A wide range of chronic conditions impact oral health and teeth’s appearance, too, and may contraindicate various types of work or raise procedures’ cost even more.

Finally, for many people and many reasons, celebrity-looking teeth just aren’t a priority (even when they’re attainable; some people might want, y’know, a new car instead).

Regardless, don’t be an asshole. Not even very attractive teeth look good on those.

the main reason I don't want kids is because I don't want to become my mother. but here I am, supposed to be reparenting my inner child, instead beating this part of myself up internally because it's so needy. somehow I still became her.

I know it’s hard but try to resist the urge to say “it’s okay” or “I’m okay” when it’s not true to those you’d like support from.

Try saying things like:

“I’m not okay. I could use some support right now.”

“I’m not okay. Unfortunately, you can’t fix this for me. But I could use the company of a friend.”

“I’m not okay. But I’m not up to talking about it right now. Can we do something else to distract me?”

Often, your loved ones want to help you but they don’t know how.

It’s okay to say you’re not okay. And it’s okay to ask for help.

I'm really fucking tired of watching my husband suffer so much because I'm so sick. I feel like people don't talk enough about the trauma spouses go through, watching the person they love most in the world continue to deteriorate constantly.

Had a doctor appointment today where I found out officially (I suspected this would happen for a while so it's not exactly new information) that I'm going to most likely need a proctocolectomy and an ileostomy. Which basically means they're going to chop out my colon, sew by butthole shut, and give me a stoma on my abdomen where I shit into a little bag. Cheers.

Obviously I'm having feelings about it but that's not what this particular post is about.

He has PTSD from watching me almost die from a bowel obstruction and having two emergency surgeries, a bowel resection, end up tube fed, and then on TPN. Obviously I survived all of that, but he's still really, really impacted by it. Then I got a brain tumor and had brain surgery, which was a whole ordeal. He struggles so much every time I'm in the hospital.

So for me to be having serious GI surgery, arguably the most extreme surgery I've ever had besides my brain surgery, is so triggering for him. And what can he do, just grin and bear it? It's fucking awful, and I know that I'd rather be the sick one instead of the one feeling powerless and alone in the face of all biology can do to wreck a human.

so here we are again. fuck it, sincerely.

found this today

Please use these terms correctly. Not doing so will deeply harm the people who actually have experienced trauma, gaslighting, triggers, and people who have NPD.

It's fascism. It's literally fascism. Why can't people see that it's fascism?

Holy shit today has been horrible