Simeon, I Want You!!!

I think the reason the 'stoner/pervert' characterization for Ben pisses me off so much is that I know exactly where it came from and how badly the fandom missed the damn point of it.

See, that version of him came from Pastamonsters, aka one of THE Creepypasta fancomics. And there it was handled really well.

He took weird Magic Drugs not so much for the sake of getting high (though there's absolutely nothing wrong with just enjoying the feeling) but because if he didn't, he became a murderous lunatic and completely lost control of his powers. I think it was due to being connected in some way to Zalgo iirc? Basically he was the Creepypasta equivalent of Gamzee Makara.

And he wasn't really a 'perverted joke character', he was a young adult man trapped in the body of a child who was just starting to go through puberty at his time of death. He's incredibly repressed because he's desperate for intimacy and has physical urges he literally cannot act on without engaging in extremely concerning behavior because most people aren't physically attracted to him and he's HORRIFIED at the idea that someone might be because, may I remind you, he is permanently stuck with the body of a barely-pubescent boy and painfully aware of that.

Basically his more humorous traits are, in fact, coping mechanisms (self-medication and hypersexual behavior as a result of not having having many, if any outlets that won't leave him or someone else traumatized), it's just that the comic is at least a LITTLE subtle about it and drip-feeds you all this so half the readers thereof completely missed it, making those traits in OTHER versions of him feel hollow and like they're slapped on just because they're popular headcanons.

Different Stories Resonate with Different People

COD porn links

MDNI

I tried to add some more inclusive vids like male X male plus sized and fetishes

Kyle

He is mad at you for flirting with another guy

Dryhumping childhood best friend Kyle

Kyle fucks you while you're handcuffed

Sucking his dick after deployment

After he tells you I love you for the first time (mxm)

Kyle being a good boy

Kyle and his wife

Price

John teaches his rookies some respect (mxm)

You talked back Infront of the team ( god he looks so much like price - respectable drooling not from the mouth)

Husband Price

He apologised for being so long on Deployment

John price with his new insecure sergeant

Sucking older bf price

Price is hungry for your cunt

Simon

Simon uses your cum as lube (male X male)

You're not allowed to cum (mxm)

Pre military Simon fucking his first girlfriend

Just the tip love

Simon always loved them bigger

Soap

The minute he comes back from deployment (male X male)

Johnny in lingerie

The video Johnny shows when someone asks how you look

(never shows your face but your cunt is okay -idiot)

Johnny has a foot fetish

Johnny loves you

Please let me play with your tits

Johnny is a needy bastard

Extra

The video you got after sending them a nude

But why does it give Johnny and Simon "we're just friends" vibes

Threesome with Simon and Johnny

Johnny getting himself off in the barracks

Sunshine and price from my fanfic

Valeria and Alejandro sharing you

TO CONSUME IS (not) TO LOVE

cannibalism in romance novels

Cannibalism is like a parallax. For once it exists as a ‘philia’, characterized by the desire of eating another. And we find that it exists in the opposite spectrum, in the form of a ‘phobia’, which speaks of the fear of being eaten or partaking unknowingly or forcefully in the act of eating another. To vore is adjacent to love in most cases, both feared and desired. Because to love someone is (apparently) to want to consume them. 

Though cannibalism might seem like a barbaric and horrific concept, it is said to be one of the most intense demostrations of love that exist in both classic and contemporary literature. The gruesome gesture reminds the lecturer of the intensity of love and its lunacy. As Mercedes Abad stated in spanish newsletter ‘el tiempo’ on May 21st, 1995 ‘There is no doubt that love and sex are feasts where, to a greater or lesser extent, we all become anthropophagi who would surely find it quite difficult to answer the question of whether there is greater pleasure in phagocytosing the other or in being phagocytosed.’ Because Cannibalism as a metaphor for love in romance novels, as it is in our day to day, is more about the blind consumerism of it rather than the pureness of it. One example of blind consumerism of love would be in Salvador Dali's Autobiography, where it is mentioned how Gala cooked their pet rabbit because of how much they loved it, in front of the woman’s refusal to the idea of leaving the rabbit with the maids.

To love is to consume, but to consume is to devour and transform in reusable energy. Like a vampire would when consuming someone’s blood, so they can continue living at the other’s cause. You live off the love you take, but if you devour that love, the other cannot live. The truth is cannibalism has a double connotation, and consuming the other’s otherness is three dimensional. Which means it isn’t always about love, or the lack thereof, but more so about the act of possessing. Cannibalism isn’t only one of the greatest manifestations of tenderness (for many), but also the irrevocably selfishness of an individual blinded by desire - in front of the morbid contemplation of the lover giving themselves so the other can survive -. The amorous-sexual instincts that resurface from a deep sense of infatuation together with those of hunger - a basic instinct - that create an irrational longing, unite in cannibalism as an analogy for that which we wish to become one with. It leaves you to question if the love narrated is but an act of survival for starved people.

‘Love is only a prologue to two cannibals struggling to take a bite of each other.’ - La Oscuridad, Ignacio Ferrando Perez (2014.) Cannibalism is, then, the imposture of love, and the obscure craving of something bigger than yourself without any understanding of it. 

Caregiver Alastor Headcanons!

Tw: Cursing and mentions of Hell

I think Alastor would really prefer regressors who have a little age old enough that they can run around and be chaotic. He'd definitely fuel their energy and have all sorts of physical activities or play they can do! Bonus points if they're a high energy regressor!

He's the type of caregiver to go with the flow of whatever you want...until it's too dangerous. I think he'd be really hot and cold, like one moment he's cheering you on and then once you cross the line, he stops you right there.

"I think that's enough, darling. You should stop right there."

For this reason, he's not big on rules, he mostly just orders you on the spot and they're never written. Overall, he wouldn't have any unless you told him you wanted some.

Alastor definitely calls you his little hellspawn, darling, devil, gremlin, rascal, kiddo, and makes up little names for you

Alastor doesn't have a need or preference for any caregiver nickname. You don't have to call him one, nor does he want it, but that doesn't mean he opposes it either. He'd be okay with anything you came up with.

He doesn't mind having you in his radio tower, actually, he enjoys your company! When he's not busy, you two color up there, play games, and he'll even do shadow puppetry for you! Anything you'd want, he's down for it! But when he's busy, he makes it a rule to wear noise-cancelling headphones so you don't hear his work, but also he has pillows blocking your view or he casts his shadows to cover his work instead

This isn't because it would be too graphic, you live in hell, you're used to it, he just doesn't want you to see that side of him while regressed.

Will let you play with the radio tower's microphone, but only while it's off! He doesn't want to accidentally broadcast the things you say or some babbles/gibberish that comes out of your mouth.

He tries his best to keep you a secret for your own safety. Alastor knows he has a lot of enemies and people who would use you to force his hands, or at worst harm you, so only the main crew knows about you and your regression! Charlie, Vaggie, Angel Dust, Husk, Rosie, etc!

Alastor isn't really big on giving physical affection other than headpats and pinches. Those are his favorite to give, and he wouldn't give any others unless you particularly asked for it. He wouldn't be opposed to receiving it either, but he wouldn't go out of his way to ask for it.

Whenever you're bored, he'll do magic tricks with his powers for you to watch. You wanna see his antlers poke out? Him knock over books? You got it! Hell, he'll even corrupt part of the world around you if you'd like! If he needs a little break or is busy, he'll cast a shadow to be your playmate, or babysitter (only for a short amount of time)

He'd spawn demonic toys for you to play with as well.

If he needs you to be entertained, and or babysat a little longer, he'd prefer to hand you off to Rosie, but he's alright with giving you to Charlie and telling Husk to make sure you're safe and that she doesn't do something dumb. Charlie's always making sure your happy and safe! She's one of the best babysitters you could have, so you don't mind.

Allows you to play with his microphone staff, but only while he's watching. He's very weary to lend it out to anyone, including you, even though he knows you wouldn't do anything bad with it intentionally.

Alastor reads the best bedtime stories, he's very used to talking in a way others find entertaining, so you're no different! You'll be out like a light by the time he closes the book.

I actually think he'd be really good at pretend play. I mean like, the BEST actor around. You need him to be an angry Karen for your restaurant? He NAILED it! 5 star actor on your hands with his dicton and exaggerated mannerisms!

While at the hotel, he let's you do whatever you'd like with him. Ruffle his hair? Tug on his antlers? Climb up and crawl all over him? Bite/nom on his leg? That's fine by him! You can unleash yourself and go full gremlin on him, he'll pretend like nothings happening while he's talking to the main crew, unless they point it out.

"Oh don't mind the hell spawn, but yes I have business to take care of."

Although, outside the hotel he warns you not to do that for the sake of your safety....but mostly his reputation. He couldn't dare to let the other sinners of hell see him like that.

You know how there's a mom stare? Alastor has one for his regressor, too. A warning is when his eyes turn mostly black. When you're pushing it, his antlers peek out a little, and when you're going too far...yeah they're coming all the way out and the environment will be partially corrupted.

I don't see him as having to dish out punishments a lot with how stern he is, but if you go past that point he'll put you in timeout with telekinesis. Yes, when he says 5 minutes, he means 5 minutes in the air.

Doesn't like you watching television at all, so you have a screentime limit. Yes...I know, boring, but he can provide much better entertainment in his eyes! (He looks at TV the same way most people look at IPads for kids)

Teaches you how to be a menace and trick with others. It's free entertainment for both of you. No further explanation.

Lets you curse while regressed, and has no problem with it. It doesn't exactly encourage it, but he doesn't punish it either! He's definitely neutral, Alastor's just happy that you're communicating with him.

Will sing for you, or tell you something through a song. Did I mention he'll be dancing during it as well?

Alastor loves to tease you and play fight with you alot, he's very good at coming up with remarks or silly things to say!

"Darling, you really shouldn't pick a fight while you're awake, I'll just broadcast your snores later. Backing down now, are we?"

Can you tell I'm really into Hazbin Hotel rn?? Just binged it and I love it sm!

made a gdocs OC sheet for Obey Me, since most of the templates I've seen are for artists and the doc templates are just simple txt files. as usual, it's meant to be for ppl like me who love to add a LOT of text <3

It's here if you'd like to use it! Remember to make your own copy -> File -> Make a copy!

If MC wants someone to do a favour for them, all they have to do is go hug the character's arm, catch them off guard. Muster up the sweetest expression they can make and bat their pretty eyelashes at his questioning gaze and whisper out their wishes to him. And they're putty in your arms despite how smug they look. It works against even the difficult ones like Barbatos, Lucifer or Belphie. They WILL give into it. I guarantee it 100%. The easiest ones are, you guessed it Mammon, Levi and Beelzebub.

follow-up to that first post that was initially meant to be in the same post but then it got way too late so i didn't finish it BUT here it is

(+ additional silliness that i decided to add in the meantime:)

reading posts about snake husbandry got me thinking about demon husbandry... there's got to be a whole category of beauty and healthcare in the devildom in relation to their demon forms, right? quick-fire ideas

lotions designed for those body markings some of them have (e.g. lucifer's forehead diamond) to keep them looking bold

horn polish to keep them shiny and beautiful

varying softnesses of brushes or cloth for horn polishing, depending on preference (there is discourse as to whether brushes are too harsh for your horns and will actually strip them of their protective layer)

physical therapy designed for demons whose wings aren't shaped super well for flight

category of haute couture where designers make clothes where the holes for wings/tails/horns are integral to the whole design

whole category of fashion where the point is to put the demonic features in the spotlight and emphasise their beauty!!!!

spas that specialise in demons with scaly wings/tails, where they can take a nice soak to make the shed easier

different categories of scrubs, creams, etc. for wings and tails split into categories like "scaly type" "leathery type" (demons argue over how important it is to use your exact right type)

certain demons' wings need more care than others (e.g. diavolo's big leathery ones need a regular buff, while beel's fly wings are delicate enough that trying harsh cleaning methods would just damage them)

...demon horn care could be a little bit like horse hoof care

demons with feathered features moult at certain intervals and they get super crabby because of the pins