distinguishedsaladphantom

Latest Posts by distinguishedsaladphantom

Random HCs: Kozume Kenma (I)

➣ Kenma canonically gets cold easily so he probably owns a lot of thick, fuzzy thermal socks. His favorite socks, however, are liners and crew socks with cute video game characters or mascots. He collects them, honestly. He has a full Animal Crossing themed set, a pair of nerdy Legend of Zelda pairs, an adorable Neko Atsume pair, and even some Sanrio ones. However, he is slightly self-conscious about it so he only wears the cute ones at home or hides them under his clothing when he goes out.

➣ Kenma is always cold pt. 2: electric boogaloo—his hands get cold but he hates wearing gloves because they don’t register on touch screens when he plays games. Because of that, he developed a habit of buying oversized sweatshirts so he can have sweater paws that keep him warm while allowing him to use his phone. It is v v adorable but pls don’t point it out or he’ll get self-conscious. 

➣ When he’s nervous or thinking hard while playing a video game, Kenma has a habit of nibbling the edges of his sleeves. He literally has no idea he does it until he glances down and realizes there’s a little dark spot where his sleeve is when. If he’s in public, he’ll try to hide the spot with his hand out of worry that people will notice and think it’s gross. 

➣ When he’s happy, Kenma hums along to game OSTs he hears in his head. On warm weekend mornings, the rare times he’s out of bed before noon, he usually hums to some K.K. Slider song and at night it’s an orchestral piece from Kingdom Hearts. Back in high school, the team would sometimes hear it while he wasn’t aware he was doing it but they all silently agreed never to mention it because it was such a rare occurrence and they were just happy Kenma seemed to be in a good mood. Lev almost ruined it more than once and Kenma started getting suspicious when Kuroo would give him a knowing look and ask if something good happened recently.

➣ Kenma generally doesn’t put much beyond the bare minimum effort into things that aren’t important to him and he prefers simplicity so he usually won’t bother with fashion accessories or beauty products. However, if you, Kuroo, or Hinata give him something like a bracelet or ring, he will wear it. Unless he is required to take it off for some reason, he will keep it on 24/7 so it has to be waterproof and durable!

➣ For the same reasons as above, Kenma doesn’t bother with nail care (something Kuroo was always on him about back when he was a setter). His nails tend to be long and he won’t cut them until they become a nuisance like when he’s playing on a keyboard. However, if you ask to give him a manicure, he’ll quietly let you (as long as you don’t use an obnoxious color). 

➣ Kenma is actually quite sentimental and saves screenshots from conversations he’s had with you or friends that make him smile. When he feels sad he sometimes goes through them and feels his heart flutter when he reads a particularly thoughtful compliment or expression of how much he means to someone. When you guys start dating, he absolutely makes an album on his phone just to save your pictures and conversation screenshots. He won’t tell you about that if he doesn’t have to, though. 

➣ He listens to those Lo-Fi hip hop or “chill study beats to listen to”  when he wants background noise. At some point he rabbit-holed into a bunch of vaporwave music on YouTube so now it frequently shows up in his recommendations. Kenma doesn’t know many specific artists or songs, he just listens to whatever sounds good, but he also isn’t picky and never complains when you play your own music, regardless of the genre. If you play anything enough times, kenma will subconsciously start humming it at random times so you lose your shit the first time you hear the familiar beat of WAP being mumbled from across the room as he plays on his Switch LOL

➣ Eventually, Kenma gets a few tattoos. They are all black and grey, clean lines and tastefully done. Most are video game references, maybe one that reminds him of his old high school volleyball days. He won’t protest if you want to get matching tattoos, as long as they aren’t lame or poorly designed. Sometimes he finds himself touching or glancing down at wherever your couple tattoos are located, finding comfort in them when he’s stressed and overwhelmed or missing your presence. 

➣ Kenma takes long showers to dissociate. Please shower before him, he absolutely will use up all of the hot water. 

➣ He doesn’t actually care that much about what he wears so any stylish clothing he has is usually a gift from Kuroo, or a freebie from a brand partnering with his company and looking for promotion on his streams.

➣ Even when he’s on a losing streak, Kenma isn’t the type to yell or break things over video games. He simmers quietly, maybe whispers insults under his breath, but he never yells. It really annoys the enemy team when they realize they can’t get a reaction out of him lol. 

➣ Kenma’s absolute favorite position is sitting between your legs, learning back onto your chest while he plays a game or you two watch a movie together. He loves the warmth and is comforted by the faint vibrations of your heartbeat against his chest—will definitely fall asleep like that if he stays there too long. Because of how much it relaxes him, when you seem really stressed or sad, he pulls you into a similar position, holding you against his body and hoping you can feel his heartbeat.  

emo faggot little brother riding his big bro like his life depends on it threatening to tell everyone if he doesn't let little bro do this vs repressed nerd big brother huffing and whining as his glasses fog up, trying to buck little bro off frantically and only pushing in deeper but god it feels so good...

I've read your fics multipul times! So much so that I just... forgot to follow you (So sorry!!) But your stuff with Tonowari and Ronal is what really opened my eyes to them. did NOT know what I was missing. ngl you're turning to to Jake now too But I'd love to hear your general na'vi headcanons. I've seen you mention things like courting/courtship, sent marking, differerent instincts, stuff like that and I'd love to hear as much as you're willing to give, like anything you wanna talk about inside and outside this ask. All of it. please. If you don't mind. That stuff is like my bread and butter.

(and sorry for my spelling mistakes! I'm just not good at spelling)

this made me laugh lmao i imagine there's a lot of people who read my stuff but don't follow me, so don't worry!!

i don't know if i have a lot of general courting headcanons, but here's some of them!

courting is typically marked by a gift exchange; traditionally, a piece of jewelry. this jewelry is usually designed exclusively by the na'vi seeking a mate, but it is common for family and friends to contribute to its construction by donating beads, feathers, textiles etc. towards it. this symbolises the acceptance and support of the future bond by the future in laws

the beginning of courtship periods are often celebrated, but courting can actually take quite a long time. the na'vi mate for life, after all, and making tsaheylu with their intended mate is a sacred act, so they don't believe in rushing it. (this is what makes jake and neytiri's sudden mating so scandalous)

throughout the courtship period, gifts and acts are service are exchanged in order to prove their worth as a mate. hunters/warriors will gift their intended mates with their kills to prove they can provide for them. carved wooden figures and tools are common too, as well as textiles and clothes woven by hand.

scent is big for the na'vi! my favourite headcanon is that the na'vi are like cats, and that they have scent glands in their noses, cheeks, foreheads, and chins! so you'll see a lot of nuzzling their faces into their mate's face, neck, shoulders, etc. in order to coat them in their scent. it's a form of claiming, and it's big among courting couples who haven't yet made their mating official!

(i like to think that's what neytiri's doing below)

Big guy's looking fucking IMMACULATE in the new Schlatt and Co vid holy shit 🤤🫠

Can't help but let them live rent free in my mind 24/7 🫂🥰💖

Reblog to make him lose another 200 billion, like to make him lose 1 billion

People who think schlatt would be a dom and charlie would be a sub simply don't understand them like I do!!!

You mean to tell me you saw charlie DM and didn't think he'd be an amazing softdom??? Sure subby charlie has its merits but him vs schlatt? He easily wins

And let's be honest schlatt is a total sub, I have barely any supporting evidence for this but trust me bro

(ofc its not question Ted's a dom)

⋆ ˚｡⋆౨ৎ˚comfortstreamer!reader

comfortstreamer!reader who is loved by the girls, the gays, + the theys. they stream about twice a week + their main platforms are pinterest, tiktok + twitch! they have a youtube, but they use it for lifestyle content + "day in the life" videos + their tiktok is mostly the same thing, plus the occasional tiktok trend!

comfortstreamer!reader who mostly streams stardew valley, animal crossing, unpacking, minecraft + the sims. they're actually mostly known for their hello kitty island adventure playthrough (since they're the most popular streamer to stream the game), but sometimes they boot up powerwashing simulator (it relaxes them) + legend of zelda breath of the wild. also every other month they have a super mario 64 playthrough for the nostalgia where they answer questions from chat. well-known for their baking streams, their barbie marathon w/ ted nivison, + playing hello kitty adventure with charlie slimecicle + jschlatt! (how you convinced schlatt to play, no one will never know)

comfortstreamer!reader who lives in zurich, switzerland. they hate the cold + the time difference away from all their friends is unbearable!! but that's just how it is for them, lots of discord calls at 4am for them + watching american streamer's "morning streams" when it is nowhere near morning for them!

comfortstreamer!reader who has their little quirks, some of which have been compiled + made into youtube compilations. they won't eat on stream, if they do eat they'll deliberately do it away from the camera. always sits with at least one their legs hugged to their chest. takes internet drama SUPER seriously (which are never actually about reader, but more that they hang out with schlatt who is 'controversial' + things like that). wears matching friendship bracelets with their favorite streamer friends. has pink-post it notes all over their setup. when nervous, they reapply their lipgloss.

I'm sorry but schlatt literally scored a 71% exhibitionist and you think he *wouldn't* enjoy you sucking him off or giving him head in front of others????

Like walk in and start touching him during a chuckle sandwich recording and you'll have him whimpering and moaning in seconds, I don't make the rules.

We all know tucker and ted would enjoy the show too

God i need him

DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE NEANDERTHAL CHILD WITH DOWN'S SYNDROME? Because they're all I've been thinking about when I'm sad for the past few days. Their existence makes me less sad.

Yall know that joke about schlatt teaching ted how to jerk off?? That but schlatts teaching ted how to finger you/eat you out😊

sorry for twitter link again, not a porn link but still quite nsfw but this is how im imagining myself slobbering on ghosts shit

link

Got reminded again of my old coworker who was a massive misogynist but also trans inclusive. Told me he believed trans women are indeed women because "only women would be stupid enough to want to be women"

I wonder what he's doing now

oh i KNOW schlatt

I like his hands :3

I need that one pic of him with the wii bowling ball(⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄)

also. Johnny is an accidental cockwarmer. he whines and goads you into letting him fuck you before bed every night because he cannae kip wi'oot fuckin' yer cunt. but it's always a bad decision because after rutting into like an animal, panting and groaning into your ear from being oversensitive and chafed (he'd fucked you three times already), when he does cum, he passes out. instantly. won't budge. won't wake.

and in the morning, when he does stir, well. why waste the opportunity, right? he's already buried inside of you, anyway.

Soap can't handle anything other than accidental cockwarming. he tries to have you keep him in your mouth while he watches a game, but ends up face-fucking you after a minute.

Gaz is a daddydom (without the daddy kink) and no one can convince me otherwise. but it's just about the caretaking. the affection. cradling you in his lap as he leans against the headboard, flipping through reruns of Golden Girls and spoon feeding you desert despite you protest because you're so full already, Gaz, you can't—

but of course you can. because Gaz wouldn't give you more than you can handle, right? he knows what's best for you. so sit pretty on his cock and be good for him, yeah?

(he might also be a lil bit of a mean!dom, too, but it's buried under so many layers of affection that you can barely notice it.)

Gaz, like Price, will keep himself inside of you any chance he gets.

and Simon is just mean. likes fucking you until you're oversensitive and raw and then stays tucked inside of you, tucking a smirk into your nape when you whine and squirm and beg him to just pull out already, it's too much.

he won't, of course. because he likes it when you cry yourself to sleep in a frazzled mess of overstimulation and sensitivity, still wrapped up nice and soft around his cock. likes fucking you through the night, too, while you whimper in your sleep, his come spilling out all over the sheets.

(fucking Simon is a razor's edge of pleasure and pain, and you better get used to the ache, the sting, because he's a big boy with an even bigger appetite and who wouldn't like having their little bird roosting on their lap?)

Simon is shoving you to your knees to keep him warm when the mood strikes him, which is usually whenever is most inconvenient to you.

The Poly!141 Egg Fic

Words: ~4.4k

Tags: Poly!141, top!Price, trans!Soap, switch!Ghost, bottom!Gaz, PWP, oviposition, monster!Price, oral (m!receiving), anal, piv sex, fingering, gaping, spit, aphrodisiac come, eggs, photography, pre-mission prep, eggs, I cannot stress enough that this is an egg fic.

Summary: Price is full of eggs, thankfully he has three eager incubators ready to take them off his hands.

Price doesn't make many, doesn't make them often, but the ones he does are heavy enough to make it necessary to... extract them before missions. Honestly, any of the men making up the 141 would be lying if they said the sight of their Captain looking a little heavier, moving a little slower, didn't have them a little hard. Excitement is palpable in the air in the days leading up to deployment, each man waiting to be called to the captain's room, each man spending hours with his cock fisted in tight fingers. Too many for one person to deal with when they need to hop on a plane, but spread between three people? Well, the saying is "don't put all your eggs in one basket" for a reason.

Ghost sits on his knees, nose pressed into the thick dark curls at the base of Price's cock and drool dripping from his swollen lips. He stares up at Price, hums around the intrusion and shakes his head to try and nudge the the tip further down his throat. He sucks hard, swallows, works his tongue over the thick length. He can feel the first few eggs starting to line up. Soft jellied things that inch their way down the long thick cock on their way to his stomach. He always gets to go first, Price's second in command, the one that needs the most hand holding through the process, the one that has to swallow where the others can simply bend over. Not that Price minds. Ghost's throat works just as well, and the hard suction helps to get things moving.

The first egg works its way down his length, bulging against Ghost's tongue. Ghost bobs his head, laves his tongue against it, tries to coax it further, further, until he can push his head to the base again and swallow. The first egg stretches past his gag reflex, bulges his throat. He swallows, tries to keep the lack of oxygen from making him panic. It's just like taking a shot. Relax the throat and swallow. The gelatinous blob crawls down his throat, he can feel every slow centimeter it moves before the slick that follows seeps around the edges and slicks his throat. Then it rolls down easy and settles heavy in his stomach.

The remaining slick tingles in his throat, warms him to his core. His cheeks burn, his cock twitches eagerly. One down. Price pats his stomach, plenty more to go.

The second egg makes its way down. Again Ghost bobs his head, sucks down oxygen while he can and tries to ease the egg into his throat. His lips drag up Price's length, and the egg pops out onto his tongue. It fills his mouth, presses against his hard pallet, soft and squishy where his tongue pushes against it. Ghost wraps a hand around Price's length to stop the next one, and tips his head back. He opens his mouth to show his captain the soft jelly egg before it slips down his open throat. Price hums, his lips quirking up into a smile as he scratches his fingers through Ghost's short cropped hair. Ghost rests the tip of his cock against his tongue to let the slick that follows pool in his mouth, numbing his throat.

"Putting on quite the show lieutenant," Price rumbles. Ghost shrugs, swallows, drags his tongue from base to tip before taking him back in his mouth. Price's boot is wedged between his legs, giving his lieutenant something to grind his aching cock against while he works. Price has always been diligent in the care he gives his subordinates, pays them back properly for all they care they give him. The short cant of Ghost's hips, the flutter of the larger man's lashes, feels like a reward for that care.

Ghost's irises are swallowed by his pupils, his attention solely on the eggs that slip down Price's shaft. The only answer, if it is an answer at all, from him is to push his head down Price's cock once more. He keeps his mouth open, his tongue licking along the underside of Price's length as he slurps at it, filling the room with obscene sounds. Putting on a show, just like his Captain said.

"Steamin' 'ell," Soap groans.

"You'll get your turn," Price tells him, his fingers still stroking through Ghost's hair. His thumb moves to swipe at the slight wetness under Ghost's eye, barely there tears from the rough intrusion of his throat. Ghost swallows a third egg, his eyes locked on his captain as it bulges out his throat. "Good boy." The words, succor sweet, make Ghost's eyes roll, his hips bucking against Price's boot in response.

Ghost's eyes dart to the sergeants. Gaz's fingers are wrapped tight around his cock, head lolled to the side as he watches his lieutenant throat his captain's cock. Ghost knows he's plugged, the only one of the two that ever shows up prepared. The only one that gets to take the big eggs, the last ones in the line that make him shoot ropes of come over the floor. Drooling is a good look on him. Beside him Soap's fingers plunge into his sopping hole, diligently working to open himself up, lucky in a different respect that he has a warm cunt to hold his clutch in.

Ghost nearly chokes as a fourth egg taps his gag reflex. His eyes water, his breath coming quick through his nose as he attempts to swallow the gelatinous sphere. He whines- moans around the egg, feels Price press his boot more firmly against his cock. It's a distraction, one that makes him gag, spit pooling around the edges of his mouth, his stomach rolling at the intrusions already weighing it down. Price's eyes are firm when he meets them, unyielding. The fingers gripping his hair tighten, force him to keep his nose buried in Price's coarse pubic curls and swallow.

Price only lets him off when he's sure the egg has settled firmly in Ghost's stomach. Ghost's tongue lolls out, drool dripping off of it in thick rivulets as he pants. His eyes are still misty with unshed tears, his fatigues boasting a growing wet spot where his cock leaks against them.

"Loosen Garrick up," Price orders, patting Ghost's cheek. The lieutenant nods, and turns his attention towards Gaz, as Price wraps his own hand around his cock to halt the descent of his eggs.

One look from the captain has Soap scrambling to find his position. "Better for the Captain's back," Gaz had told him one as he'd helped him kneel on the edge of the bed. Price pushes his legs together, settles a big hand on the base of his neck to push his face into the mattress as his legs bracket Soap's. Soap reaches between his legs to spread the folds of his cunt, letting his superior officer see the slick dripping off of him. Price hums, sliding his hand down Soap's back to squeeze his ass and spread him further.

"Thought you'd want them in the back," Price confirms, his thumb stroking over Soap's tightly puckered hole. Soap swallows thickly, resists the urge to push back into the feeling, and shakes his head.

"Feels be'er," He mumbles. Another hum from Price as he inspects his sergeant's hole.

"Does it?" Price grunts, nudging the head of his cock against Soap's entrance.

"Yessir," Soap groans, feeling the burning stretch of Price's fat cock spreading him open. The pain makes his eyes roll, the heat of it coursing through his body with the roll of Price's hips. He can feel the next egg already making its way down the shaft, no longer held back by Price's tight fist and oh-so-eager to lodge itself in Soap's warm hole.

Price pulls out, leaving just the tip of his cock inside, before pushing in again. The bump of the egg stretches Soap's hole wider, and he lets out a groan. It rubs against his g-spot, pushing at his gummy walls with each stroke. Maddening. The friction of it, the pressure, makes his cunt feel hot. His cock tingles, stood at attention and begging to be touched. Soap wraps his fingers around it, giving it short strokes as he feels his folds wrapping around Price's cock. Christ he always forgets how different it feels when he takes a clutch this way. Always forgets the way slick drips and foams out of him, the way his stomach tightens and his cunt clenches greedily.

Pressure builds behind his dick, his stomach pulling tight. The way the egg pushes against his g-spot... There's no suction helping it along like with Ghost's mouth, just the repetitive motion of Price's thrusts. The soft egg slips into him as Price pulls out, nestled tight against his entrance before Price pushes it deeper with a spurt of slick. Soap's eyes roll feeling the foreign body roll against his walls, pushed tight against his cervix by Price's cock. Price circles his hips, grinding the egg against that deep aching spot inside of Soap as he waits for the next egg to drop. It shoots like electricity up his spine, tightens the molten heat behind his stomach.

Soap presses his face against the mattress in an attempt to muffle the moan the feeling punches out of him. He presses his hips back into Price's thrusts, his eyes rolling and his jaw slack as he feels Price's cock trying to push the egg deeper, forcing his cunt to accommodate both of them. He can feel the next egg catching at his entrance, trying to push its way into his clenched cunt. Price's thumb rubs at his hip, his fingers tight to hold him in place.

"Relax Sergeant," a firm reminder of his place that makes heat prickle over Soap's skin. He can almost hear the way it makes Price smile seeing his skin pink up. Price bats his fingers off his cock and wraps his own callused fingers around it, stroking him quick and dry. It hurts, Soap's moans hiccuping out of him as he tries to catch his breath. Price presses his weight down against him, forcing the arch of his back. "Can always force it," Price rumbles low in his ear.

Soap stiffens, jostle by the hard slap of Price's hips as he forces the next egg inside. He grinds his hips down into Soap, rubbing the egg against his soft spot and stroking his cock. Soap knows the wet feeling immediately, the dribble of heat out of him, the low chuckle from Price as he pulls back. He doesn't need to see the wet shine on Price's thighs, to recognize the way his muscles unspool for his Captain.

"There you go," Price patronizes, "just have to loosen you up." The second egg slides in alongside the first, a third already pushing against his entrance. It feels bigger, but it always is, a steady size increase that always leaves him and Gaz loose and dripping. This one though, Christ how long has Price been cooking these things. The way Soap clenches around the fat intrusion is involuntary, it hardly stops the egg. The squish of it doesn't make up for the way it stretches him open, or the way Price groans. It nearly locks their hips together, Price grinding his already thick cock inside of Soap as the egg makes it's slow descent into his wet channel.

Price pulls back, moaning as the egg is pulled by Soap's tight cunt. Lodged just inside his entrance, and forcing Price to pull out entirely just to deposit the thing inside of him. Soap's legs shake, the burn of being held open by the egg making heat wash over him. Price releases his cock to spread his folds with two hands, whistling low at the way his cunt gapes around the egg. Two thick finger press against the egg, forcing it to nestle itself with its siblings before those same fingers are jabbing against Soap's soft spot.

Soap tenses, feels his cunt try to clench around them with minimal success. He swears into Price's bedspread, his stomach rapidly tightening with another orgasm. It's too much, he feels loose, full and empty at the same time. The eggs are heavy, pushing against each other, pushing against his cervix, against the back of his cock, and Price's fingers are precise. He can feel his walls starting to flutter when Price shoves the full, girthy length of his cock back into his hole. The next egg popping into his stretched cunt with embarrassing ease as Price fucks him.

The fingers are around his cock again, stroking the short length as Price pushes a fourth egg into his sopping cunt. The walls of his cunt feel raw as hot slick fills the space between eggs. The warmth soaks into him, makes his limbs feel like jelly as it forces him through a second shuddering orgasm. Price's fingers grip his hair at the base, pulling his face from the bed to watch the way he sticks his tongue out for the man. Soap gets a glimpse of Ghost pulling his come covered cock from Gaz before his captain spits on his tongue and lets him collapse back on the bed. Soap rolls onto his side, pushing a hand between his legs to hold the eggs inside as Price turns his attention to Gaz.

"You're up," Price tells him, a firm hand grabbing Gaz's ankle to drag him closer.

"Can't give me a breather?" Gaz asks with a smile. Price shakes his head.

"Saved the best for ya, should be thankin' me."

“Should be thanking me for letting you put those things in me,” Gaz retorts before adding on a quick, “Captain.”

Price lets out a huff of laughter and pulls Gaz to rest in front of him, his hands pushing up under the sergeant’s knees to fold him in half. Gaz can feel the way the pressure on his stomach forces Ghost’s come out of him, the warm slick dripping down his ass. Price is quick to catch it on the head of his cock, spreading the come over Gaz’s loosened hole before pushing in. Gaz winces a little, letting out a breath as he forces his body to relax. The burn and pressure of the new stretch knocks the wind out of him. Price may not be as thick around as Ghost is normally, but with an egg already primed… Gaz shudders feeling the ridge of it, the fat knot in the middle of Price’s cock that catches on his hole. Price wastes little time grinding it into him, working his hole back to the puffy softness that Ghost had fucked it to, until the egg can slip inside. 

It happens all at once. The egg catches at the thickest point, and then slips inside in a single movement. Gaz’s eyes flutter closed, his head dropping back to enjoy the feeling. The egg slips over his prostate and he gasps, jerks his hips against Price’s cock and forces him deeper. The first one is always the easiest. He opens his eyes to glance at Soap watching his fellow sergeant toying with his still gaped cunt. If Soap got an egg big enough to leave him open, big enough that Ghost is eyeing him, then Gaz’ll be in for worse. The first is just a taste of what’s to come.

That doesn’t make it any easier when it finally leaves Price’s cock, when he’s filled a second time with slick. Although he thanks his lucky stars for the way Price’s slick seems to seep into him, radiating warmth that makes his cock twitch. The egg nestles itself deep inside him, just deep enough to avoid settling where he really wants it. He won’t have to worry about that for long though. The tell tale bulge of another egg forces itself against his loosened hole. Even at the small end of it, it feels bigger than the last, and given the way Price grunts, pulls his cock out to try and force the thing in, it must be. 

Gaz wraps a hand around his own cock, squeezing the base. Damn thing is drooling worse than Soap does, just the prospect of his ass being stretched out is enough to get him going, but to actually feel it happening? To feel the way Price pushes the tip of the egg against the ring of muscle that swallows his cock? It’s divine. It burns, he can feel the way his ass is opened around the girth of the egg being forced inside. He imagines the swell of it, the way his skin stretches to accommodate, how wet it all must look as he’s stretched open around the egg. Each centimeter of it is thicker and thicker, until he reaches the thickest point and Price gives that last thrust the pops the whole thing inside. Gaz’s back arches off the bed feeling the egg settle so completely inside of him. He feels loose, barely aware of Price’s cock except where his head bumps against his prostate.

The only problem is Price pulling his cock out. Gaz clenches around the egg, the intrusion holding him open and plugging him up all in one go. Price attempts to pull out, and the egg lodges itself against Gaz’s opening, unwilling to leave the warm hole it’s found itself in. Gaz whines, opens his mouth to moan as Price relents to the thing and presses his hips tight against Gaz’s, grinding the egg into him. The thick gelatinous egg makes its slow, maddeningly slow way through Price’s cock, catching against his prostate and rolling against it for what feels like ages. Gaz’s grip around his cock tightens near painfully, his teeth grit against the waves of pleasure that course through him. Fucking hell. There’s sweat starting to bead on his forehead as slick fills him, another attempt to get the egg inside. 

The last few are the hardest for his captain, Gaz knows this, knows they don’t always come out nicely. That’s all too clear with the way the next one in line already presses against his entrance. The second egg isn’t even out, still grinds down in aching pleasure against his sweet spot, and he’s supposed to take another already? Price pulls out as best he can, using Gaz’s muscles against him. Milking his cock in Gaz’s clenching ass to ease the fat egg into him. Gaz’s breath catches in his throat, chokes him as his cock dribbles pre-come over his fingers, desperate to play a part in the desperation being fed to it. Price thrusts back inside, pushing the egg deeper, and Gaz feels the next in line press painfully tight against his hole. “Captain,” Gaz gasps, his voice cracking as Price batters his sweet spot, making sparks fly over his skin. Price leans his weight onto Gaz’s legs, his grip tightening as he fucks his cock into him, trying to coax the next egg down the line. Gaz shudders, his stomach flexing, tensing and untensing under Price’s weight.

“No tapping out now Gaz,” Price grunts, “know what you signed up for.”

“Not tapping out,” Gaz let's his eyes roll back, his nails digging into Price's shoulders, “feels good, fuck.” He squeezes his eyes shut, feeling the molten heat in his stomach churn with each electric shock of pleasure from his prostate. Price rolls his hips, grinding against it, and the second egg finally fills him. Just in time for the next one to stretch him. He winces a little, his ass hurts, his cock twitches, the egg pushes and pushes. He’s forced open, held open by the egg. Too big to prep for, and only aided by the stretch of the last one. Lukewarm lube is dripped from the bottle in Price’s hand over his hole, only just easing the stretch. The slick heats up so quickly, warmed to near boiling by the heat of Gaz’s skin alone. The egg stops at the thickest point and holds him open.

Price’s thumb rubs against the ridges of his entrance, appreciative, and Gaz’s face burns. He wishes he could see it, wishes he could see the eggs ruining his hole the way he could watch Soap. It must be a pretty sight, his ass spread so wide around the egg’s middle he can feel it pressing under his balls. If he was on his knees he might ask for a picture, he still might. Price slides his hand back up over Gaz’s thigh, pushes it firm against his stomach and Gaz hitches a breath.

“One of you’s gonna take the whole thing eventually,” Gaz shudders, Price’s voice tugging at an unnamed greed deep in his chest, one he’s sure the rest of the team shares, “be fat with my eggs.” 

The next egg pops inside with a harsh slap of Price’s hips, and snaps the grip Gaz has on his cock. His back arches, or attempts to under Price’s hold, pleasure coursing through him as ropes of come hit his chest. Gaz moans open mouthed and needy, the sound tearing itself from his throat. His cock twitches and spits, drooling against his stomach as Price wipes it with his hand. They all know the drill, opening his mouth for his captain to help clean him up is the least Gaz can do really. Price’s fingers pushing his come into his mouth as he grinds his cock into him, easing the heavy egg down to join its siblings. Gaz’s muscles shake with the effort of maintaining position while Price abuses his insides, his tongue slick and dextrous as it works over Price’s fingers. He doesn’t need the praise that Ghost does, Gaz knows by the look in Price’s eyes that he’s good for him. 

He’s loose, gaping. He can feel the slide of Price’s cock against his rim, a friction that stirs the heat still lingering in his stomach. A whine pushes against Gaz’s lips. That can’t be all of them. He only got three, Soap and Ghost both got four. Eleven is an unlucky number, missions go south on eleven. Gaz lifts his head from the bed to look at Price, his eyes fixed on the softened planes of his captain’s stomach. He drops his head back with a sigh, fine, eleven. He lets his hands fall from Price’s shoulders, starts to get his head on.

Price gives a hard thrust into him, then another, and another. Feeling the eggs rub against his prostate is one thing but having that targeted jab to it over and over again makes his mind go fuzzy. All Gaz can do is grip the bedspread and try not to scream. It’s too much and not enough, his cock twitches with interest, still hard from the roll of the eggs inside of him, and his brain seems to melt out his ears. Then he feels it. Even just the head of it feels as big around as the last egg. Slow moving and just starting to nudge at his ruined hole. Gaz’s eyes go wide and his breathing quickens, his lips already moving in a needy, “yes, yes, yes, please captain, please.”

The egg presses so tightly against his hole that it shortens Price’s movements, his thrusts getting shallow as the egg attempts to invade Gaz’s body. He tries to angle his hips, to push into the feeling, but Price holds him down. Gravity works to his advantage, the head of the egg just nudging into him, only to pop out on the next move of Price’s hips. Gaz whines, it feels pathetic, it feels good. He whines as the egg stretches him a little and leaves, stretches and leaves, over and over as it slowly works more and more of itself in with each thrust. He can feel the weight of it, the unyielding mass of the thing. Bigger than any Gaz has taken so far, maybe the biggest he’s ever taken. He wants it, wants to be ruined by it, to have his ass stretched for days afterwards so his captain(and perhaps the lieutenant and sergeant he works with too) can fuck him again. He wants to feel the splitting stretch to worry that he might need to see medical.

The egg spreads him wider and wider, each thrust of Price’s hips battering it against Gaz’s overworked hole as he chases the end of his release. Stretch and relax, stretch and relax, Gaz’s head spins with the warm ache of it, the shallower and shallower thrusts as the heavy egg moves down Price’s shaft. And pops inside of him in one sharp movement that has Gaz screaming, his cock dribbling out a second round of ruined come as his legs shake. His body pulls tight and he sees stars, feeling the rush of Price’s come fill him. The warmth of it burns against his insides, sinking into his muscles until he’s left pliant and hazy. 

Price pulls out, and almost as quickly is prodding at his hole with his fingers. Gaz feels held open, but that’s not from the hand inspecting him, it’s from the fat egg that Price pushes deeper inside of him. Price hauls his leg over to the side, flipping Gaz onto his stomach. He holds a hand out to Soap.

“He’ll want a picture of this,” the smile in Price’s voice makes fresh heat bloom over Gaz’s skin as he dutifully pushes up onto his knees. The snap of a phone camera could make him eager for another round if he wasn’t so focused on the way that last egg was rolling to meet its siblings. Four. Four was a good number. Price tosses Soap’s phone onto the bed next to Gaz’s head and he quickly grabs for it, staring down at the way his usually tight hole holds itself open to let everyone see his pink insides. Greedy for more, Gaz thinks to himself, zooming in to try and get a look at the egg inside of him. He’ll be putting that one in the group chat.

“Right,” Price grunts, “grab your rucks, plane won’t wait forever.”

“Cannae wait for me to get mah pants oan?” Soap jokes, swatting away Ghost’s hand. Price hums.

“Might wait that long.”

no one respects the art of cock-warming quite like Price.

18+ | cock warming. exhibitionism.

he loves having his lil sub (whether you want to be or not) kneeling at his feet, his cock stuffed down your throat while he works, alternating between holding a cigar in his hand or a pen. the other on the back of your head, keeping you still. cradled his lap where you belong.

and he'd spend ages training you up for it, too.

starts by makingyou sit in his lap, letting you mewl and whine and pant in his ear about the stretch, the need. wanting him to just fuck you already and get it over with. but he's patient. let's you acclimate slowly until all he has to do is pat his thigh and you're already shoving your panties to the side, sliding down his thick girth as he turns on some movie you'd been chirping about wanting to see. squirming around for a moment until you find your spot before melting into his chest, breathing around the stretch. because at some point, having him inside of you, stuffing you full—cock, mouth, ass—comes as naturally as breathing, anyway.

but if you think this is a private endeavor only, well. you'd be wrong.

it starts small. his fingers inside of you when you're out at a restaurant with Laswell and her wife (who seems to sharing your expression; Kate's hand disappearing below the table), just sitting. teasing. he's not trying to get you off. it's just training. new horizons, love, he says, and it's just so easy to get swept up into the maelstrom of his desire, isn't it?

a movie after. it's boring. you hate it. so, he unzips his trousers and offers himself to you instead. let's you thumb through your feed (phone on silent, brightness down to zero) in the back of the theatre as you lounge across the chairs in the empty room, his cock down your throat.

an opera. sitting on his lap with him inside of you, dress covering the indecent act as he shoves your panties to the side (only worn in case he finishes—can't have his cum dripping down your thigh when you go out to eat, can you?) and sinks in deep with a little groan muffled into your neck.

soon, he'll refuse to let you sit anywhere that isn't his lap. on his cock. you almost get caught a few times (and maybe you do) but John's influence is all-consuming and no one bats an eye when he starts to bounce you on his lap in an empty restaurant, hand curled over your mouth to keep any noise that spills out just for him. only for him.

if you think falling asleep without him inside of you is an option, then you should have thought about that before moving in because after he fucks you, he'll cradle you close, ignoring any protests about cleaning up. feigns sleep until you huff, giving in.

(you sleep better when he's inside of you, anyway.)

he's just utterly insatiable—and smitten, really—and it doesn't even feel much like training or conditioning when (he rings the dinner bell and) your mouth starts to water as he sits down, thighs spread wide enough for you slip between. nursing his cock the same way he carts his fingers across your nape, cradling the whiskey in his hand. staring down at you with a deep, ravenous hunger as you sigh around the thick of him, and rest your head on his lap.

(a bell echoes in your ear, but it's easy to ignore it because he was right, after all. this is where you belong.)

Does it ever hit you that because of Frank and Monica's emotional detachment, all of the Gallagher's seek out affection from romantic partners? But like to an almost obsessive degree.

Fiona's is obvious. She's hypersexual and falls in love easily. She will downplay her issues with Frank as something she's grown used to, but it's clear that it still affects her. She also does the same when it comes to Monica but I feel like her hostility towards other women comes from how she doesn't trust Monica, doesn't really trust herself, and sees those insecurities on other women. Ex: Her treatment of Mandy and distrust of her around Lip.

Lip is a classic case of a man dealing with his mommy issues by making it every woman's problem. He's hostile towards his romantic partners when they want a real commitment from him and he talks to women with so much disrespect that it's a wonder someone hasn't stomped his ass out yet. He's especially harsh towards his own sisters even though they've been the one's who have been there for him. He may hate Frank but he's noticeably giving and extremely forgiving towards men, even those he's only known for a short while. Almost like the story about the turtle was just as much about him hoping that he could fix Frank as it was about Frank crushing his hopes of a real father figure.

Ian being groomed is in no way his fault and is the fault of the creeps who pursued him. But I can't ignore the fact that Frank's abuse and neglect opened him up the further abuse he suffered at the hands of Kash and Ned. It's no coincidence that both Kash and Ned shower Ian with gifts and compliments about how impressive, smart, and mature he is.

Debbie 1. deals with comphet in the first few seasons, and 2. Feels ignored by her family so she tries to create her own family. Debbie is visibly the one most affected by Frank's issues and even when she for all intents and purposes gives up on him, it still affects her. Frank's hurtful words about her only finding love with someone "just as fucked up as she is" pushes her to put consider a dangerous situation with Heidi. She's also someone who struggles with control issues because she needs to help other people. She's a problem solver by nature. It's just that the two problems she wishes she could solve more than anything are out of her hands (Frank and Monica). She can't fix Frank's addiction, his selfishness, or his abusive tendencies. She can't fix Monica's wanderlust, her avoidance, or her aversion to long-term commitment.

Carl is so good at masking his emotions. It's easy to miss. But then you notice things like his attachment to Fiona, his absolute devotion to the girls he likes, and his need to protect. Carl is hypersexual, even though I've seen it rarely brought up in fandom, and longs for a long-term girlfriend. When he does get girlfriends he's all in from the beginning. When Carl loves someone he is all about them. He's so casual when it comes to talking about Frank and Monica, but that doesn't mean those feelings aren't there and they aren't affecting him.

Liam is still young so we don't get to see him in a relationship. He's the one Gallagher who's consistently treated like an actual kid. Probably the one who has the best chance at healthy emotional attachments. But then again, Fiona leaving most likely did a number on him and we weren't privy to what that looks like for him because the latter seasons forgot how to do long-term storytelling and emotional payoff. All we know is that he doesn't remember Monica, Frank being gone makes him an orphan and he's worried about where he's gonna live because Lip forgot that Liam was technically under Frank's care. We didn't get to see it, but I'd say Liam's first emotional crash is probably on the horizon.

🍫💐 A Homemade Treat 💝💌

Happy Valentine’s Day everyone 💕

Jschlatt P🌽⭐️ Links Pt2 🥰💦

REAL PORN 18+‼️⚠️HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY!💘

1✨- denying schlatt an orgasm. he loves to get you overstimulated to the point where you can’t see straight or think properly and when you can’t hold it anymore, he makes you wait….but tonight you getting your own pay back. watching him squirm and whine under you while begging to let him cum gives you that rush of power that you know schlatt gets when he does this to you…it’s so addicting maybe you should dominate more often….

2❤️- schlatt loves girls in skirts or dresses. he loves the way you look when you are wearing a pretty little skirt when he takes you out. he can’t help but show you off a little and maybe just maybe when your not looking sneak a glimpse of what’s up your skirt. he can’t wait to take you home and lift up that skirt and fuck you senseless. to his surprise though, you knew this was gonna happen. so you didn’t wear any panties.

3💦- schlatt will cum anywhere. but his favorite place is your face. epically after he just got done face fucking you for acting like a brat and talking back. he has you pinned to the bed, abusing your throat when your tongue does that one thing that sends him over the edge. he quickly pulls out of your mouth groaning loudly as his warm cum spews from his cock and onto your face…getting it all over and messing up your makeup (if your wearing any) then after he cums he puts it back into your mouth starting up again.

4👅 & 5😋- schlatt is a MUNCH! he loves to eat pussy. epically if you had a bad day at work. you come home frustrated and slightly hurt from a stressful day at work and he asks you what he can do to make you feel better. you look at him with a smirk and telling eyes and he knows exactly what to do. next think you know, you’re arching your back and curling your toes moaning as schlatt’s eats you out. all the stress and frustration melts away as you give into the ecstasy you are feeling. your eyes are closed and you have a smile on your face. you give him sweet and encouraging praises to motivate him to keep going. but he’s not gonna stop until your absolutely satisfied…

6💪🏻- schlatt is so much bigger then you. he likes to remind you that he’s 6’3 and 250 pounds not just by telling you but by showing you too. when he’s feeling really dominant and powerful, he’ll push all his weight into you with every thrust making it feel like the wind is being knocked out of you. your moans are strained and your knuckles are white from gripping the bed sheets so tightly. his whole body envelops yours as a protective shield. he likes you like this. he likes making you feel small, like he has to protect you. he looks down at the moaning mess he has created and gives your forehead a kiss then smiles. he feels a sense of of possessiveness, protection and power

7😵‍💫- throat training. you haven’t deep throated before. been too scared it will hurt or fuck up your throat. schlatt was ok with taking it slow and letting you do what you can handle but he knows you can take it deeper and harder. so he’s been making you practice taking him deeper in your throat. he goes slow the first few days just taking it little by little. he knows he has a pretty big and thick cock, so he’s not gonna rush into anything out of the fear of making you uncomfortable and hurting you. but after a week you start getting better and more comfortable so he starts to step it up a notch. he starts to be a little more rough and faster. soon enough you get the hang of it and you can take his entire length down your throat. he’s so proud of you. he praises you as he watches your throat burgle with his cock.

8🥰- aftercare….aftercare is really important to you and schlatt. it doesn’t matter what type of sex you both just had he always needs a moment to cuddle with you and hold you close. as he holds you he strokes your hair out of your face. he kisses your forehead and peppers your face in kisses. he rubs you back gently in a comforting motion but can help but grab at your ass giving it a firm squeeze or a soft pat. he tells you how great you did and how much he loves you, loves being with you, holding you, protecting you etc. after just laying there for a few moments he finally gets up. sometimes he’ll go for a cigarette because he always has to have one after sex. or if you both just had some really intense messy sex he take you into the bathroom and you’ll both get a shower to clean up.



It's always "giving price a blow job under his desk" and never "Price getting you head while under your desk".

Fame in The Devildom

ft. a new short-form posting style! let’s see how this sticks haha

I’ve been thinking about how MC is considered a celebrity in the Devildom — alongside the brothers, of course. The Devildom’s online structure seems to follow the same pattern and trends that ours does. This makes me think that attractive celebrities are treated the same as well!

I think that edits are a huge thing, especially among devildom youth. And considering how often the brothers/MC seem to be in the press or posting online, I 100% think that people make celebrity edits of them all the time. Individual ones to start with — sexy reverbed audios for Lucifer, rock and roll audios for Beel, etc etc all paired with the most jaw-dropping images and videos of the brothers.

Now, I think it happens with MC too! They’re an A-list celebrity and undoubtedly hot as hell (obviously). And I think the fact that they’re human helps as well. It adds to their intrigue. People would certainly take posts from their Devilgram for it. But they’d also use segments from interviews or RAD events that are broadcasted. They probably even have fan-accounts dedicated to them.

I also think that people make ship edits of MC and whichever brother they decide that they should be with. There are probably niche internet wars over who they date. And, of course, I think that the brothers always save the edits of themselves and MC.

And photo shoots? Oh, girl — everything will be abuzz. Photo shoots with the brothers? Literal chaos! Especially if they’re of the more risqué nature.

All of this applies to the side characters, too, but I would imagine that they might be less popular among the general populace when it comes to subjects for editing. Besides Diavolo (for obvious reasons: hello, hot demon king!!), that is. But there’s a few of MC with Barbatos, Simeon, or Solomon. They’re just a lot rarer on Devilgram.

Want to support me? Reblog, like, and/or comment!

I think I just found the only reasonable exchange involving two people with opposing views on porn to ever exist on this website

I let my pussy make my decisions, call that clitical thinking

Folks, friends, y’all…. esk*mo is a slur. I understand a lot of people don’t know that, I don’t want to be a dick about it, but I’ve been seeing it in fics. Wanna write “esk*mo kisses”? Just say “nuzzled noses” or something.

I’m not here to call anybody out, it’s been in multiple fics, I’m not vague posting. This is just a psa. 👍🏻