Distinguishedsaladphantom - Meow

OM! Pet HC’s part 1!

Lucifer:

Cerberus, a tri-headed Chow. Similar in appearance to a Human World ChowChow save for his three heads, Cerberus weighs in around 10,000 kg (11 tons), and is larger than an adult African elephant. Though aggressive and cold towards strangers, Cerberus has nothing but love towards it owner, enjoying a relaxed walk, or rest along side Lucifer. Despite their good guarding skill, Cerbie is rather aloof and calm when not working.

Fire spouts from his ears eyes and mouth when in combat or when excited.

Only the main head of Cerberus is Sentient. The other two being controlled by the main head, thus Cerberus is referred to as a him rather then with they/them pronouns. The main head is primarily used for eating and drinking, with the other two heads functioning as intimidation and also used for attacking prey.

Gets along with: Lucifer, Satan, Luke.

Dislikes: Mammon

ALSO!

Yes I know canonically Cerberus is some Doberman/bully breed, but I thought I’d lean more in to the comedy aspects of OM! By making Cerbie a ChowChow, something far more fluffy, goofy and over all adorable. I still imagine them to be able to be quite intimidating, I mean even a chihuahua the size of an elephant would be scary, but I just wanted them to be a more regal yet cute dog. Plus I’m not for the framing of Bully Breeds and Doberman as “scary dogs” and so I wanted to break the stereotype of them always being intimidating hellhounds.

Folks, friends, y’all…. esk*mo is a slur. I understand a lot of people don’t know that, I don’t want to be a dick about it, but I’ve been seeing it in fics. Wanna write “esk*mo kisses”? Just say “nuzzled noses” or something.

I’m not here to call anybody out, it’s been in multiple fics, I’m not vague posting. This is just a psa. 👍🏻

Who among you are old enough to remember the "It's 10pm, do you know where your children are?" reminders on TV?

That was probably necessary at the very beginning of the exchange program. Diavolo or Barbatos would have to send out text messages every day. "It's 10pm. Do you know where your human exchange student is?"

You could be doing homework in your room in the House of Lamentation when at ten o'clock on the dot you hear loud swearing and footsteps. Mammon barges in to check that you're there. The others coolly walk by and peek in just to double-check. Every single night.

I headcannon that devildom days are actually equivalent to two human world days so when MC gets there they just end up passing out randomly in the middle of the day till they eventually figure it out

Like you’ll be just casually playing on your phone in the living room when you start to get tired. You think it’s odd since technically it’s only midday. Until a few hours later your so tired you can barely get up so you just fall asleep.

Especially when it’s early in your stay into the devildom and it’s probably not safe to just fall asleep wherever you are in the middle of the day.

So you decide it’s just gonna be a scheduled nap time, so you have energy for the rest of the day.

I think the brothers would only figure out that you fall asleep in the middle of the day when they drag you with them somewhere.

Like if Mammon and Asmo decide to go to the mall after RAD. You know it’s during nap time but you go anyway. Until three hours later you’re so tired you can see it in your face. Mammon notices something’s wrong and asks you about it. You of course say you’re tired and that is usually nap time for you. Then something just clicks.

Mammons spent a lot of time in the human word, he knows how it’s different from his home. He knows human days are half as long as devildom days.

He obviously cuts the trip short and brings you back home, knowing Lucifer will chew him out if he kept you out any longer like that.

From that point on he let you sleep in his room so that your sleep schedule doesn’t get too messed up. Especially since you can’t just constantly stay up for two days straight. Of course he’d also let you sleep in your room if you wanted. And he would make sure to keep his brothers away (though he’s gonna deny it. The great mammon doesn’t care for humans! But he cares for this one)

Eventually the rest of the brothers find out once you start getting closer. Although he won’t admit it Lucifer is a little ashamed he forgot that humans need more sleep. Mostly since Solomon, aka the only other human, is already used to devildom days and can stay up for long periods of time.

Eventually you just start sneaking into their rooms when they’re gone and you need your midday nap. They probably don’t even notice you’re going into their rooms until one of them catches you asleep.

Don’t even get me started about Belphie😭 he would eat that up.

After you get close he’s definitely going to sleep with you. He would probably be a jerk about it too. Though don’t threaten him by saying you won’t nap with him, he will throw a fit till he gets what he wants.

Though with Belphie you’ll probably end up sleeping longer than intended. What would normally be a 6 hour nap to get you through the rest of the day could easily turn into 14 hours with Belphie.

Maybe it’s not entirely his fault though, his bed is the most comfortable (both the attic one and the one in his room) and he does naturally keep nightmares away.

Hi, I can't find Sugar baby part 2, I really need it, you can re-upload this part 🙏🙏🙏🙏

Hi! really sorry for that for some reason part 2 was lost for a lot of people.

I'm going to put all the links to all the chapters so far here and later on I'll work on making a proper masterlist for my work!

Sugar baby part 1

sugar baby part 2

sugar baby part 2.5

sugar baby part 3

Also for those of you who wanted to be tagged, I'm really sorry I missed your messages! I'll try and form a proper tag list once I start writing again!

- cherry wine is about domestic abuse. it’s now called a cute proposal song.

- too sweet is about seizing the day and ignoring healthy habits in favor of having more fun with unhealthy ones. he’s actively critical of himself in the song. it’s now called a song about thinking you’re superior for drinking black coffee.

- take me to church is about worship as a metaphor for sex. it’s called a religious song.

- eat your young is a song about war and political greed. it’s called a song about sex.

- now, the strongly political message of nobody’s soldier is being ignored in favor of calling it a metaphor for hozier’s relationship with his fans.

when are we going to stop simplifying hozier’s music down to cute little cottagecore bogman forest music? maybe you dont want to hear this but i don’t care. quit listening to hozier for the aesthetic. there’s a reason why empire now, foreigner’s god, butchered tongue, etc. songs with unignorable political messages are among his least popular songs.

collection of posts for a very specific dynamic

Games I wish existed

This is a bit random and not what I usually do.

Also if a game like this DOES exist, then let me know in the comments.

Number 1: Everdell as a farming cozy game

A cozy videogame farming game where you get to be one of those cute animals from picture books living under a tree or a rock or something.

You know what I mean! Cute beds made from tiny boxes or storages of berries in baskets. Basically the Everdell Board Game only as a farming game like Stardew valley or a town rebuilding game. It'd be so CUTE!

Number 2: Cute spoopy games

I can't wait long enough for Haunted Chocolatier but I'd like more videogames with cute ghosts. Maybe we play as a cute ghost who goes around doing fun ghost stuff? Idk. I'm tired of scary games and want more spooky cozy games with cute animations! Like Love, Ghostie!

Number 3: Medieval Sims

Yes I know the sims 3 had a medieval one that came out. It was the first sims game I played and it was okay. But I'd like a new version of it where it's truly just a fantasy/medieval games of the sims instead of a weird rpg sims hybrid. It doesn't even have to be from the sims! It could be any game that lets you basically create a family in a fantasy/medieval world with dragons and cool stuff.

Number 4: Dating Romance Games without Routes

This may be unpopular of an idea but I really loved how Obey Me never had routes because you got to learn and get to know the characters before choosing your favorites/preferences. Usually in dating games you get a short introduction then are expected to just pick, which I never really loved since it also meant every choice I make is always going to surround the love interest and never just something I want the character to try.

I'd like more of it where you just follow a story line and goof around with characters, even if means I don't get the kisses or traditional happy ending with the love interest. I just want to have a ball!