Humans Are Weird

my 13 year old self, crying and begging God for a perfect body

follow-up to that first post that was initially meant to be in the same post but then it got way too late so i didn't finish it BUT here it is

(+ additional silliness that i decided to add in the meantime:)

I like his hands :3

I need that one pic of him with the wii bowling ball(⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄)

also. Johnny is an accidental cockwarmer. he whines and goads you into letting him fuck you before bed every night because he cannae kip wi'oot fuckin' yer cunt. but it's always a bad decision because after rutting into like an animal, panting and groaning into your ear from being oversensitive and chafed (he'd fucked you three times already), when he does cum, he passes out. instantly. won't budge. won't wake.

and in the morning, when he does stir, well. why waste the opportunity, right? he's already buried inside of you, anyway.

Soap can't handle anything other than accidental cockwarming. he tries to have you keep him in your mouth while he watches a game, but ends up face-fucking you after a minute.

Gaz is a daddydom (without the daddy kink) and no one can convince me otherwise. but it's just about the caretaking. the affection. cradling you in his lap as he leans against the headboard, flipping through reruns of Golden Girls and spoon feeding you desert despite you protest because you're so full already, Gaz, you can't—

but of course you can. because Gaz wouldn't give you more than you can handle, right? he knows what's best for you. so sit pretty on his cock and be good for him, yeah?

(he might also be a lil bit of a mean!dom, too, but it's buried under so many layers of affection that you can barely notice it.)

Gaz, like Price, will keep himself inside of you any chance he gets.

and Simon is just mean. likes fucking you until you're oversensitive and raw and then stays tucked inside of you, tucking a smirk into your nape when you whine and squirm and beg him to just pull out already, it's too much.

he won't, of course. because he likes it when you cry yourself to sleep in a frazzled mess of overstimulation and sensitivity, still wrapped up nice and soft around his cock. likes fucking you through the night, too, while you whimper in your sleep, his come spilling out all over the sheets.

(fucking Simon is a razor's edge of pleasure and pain, and you better get used to the ache, the sting, because he's a big boy with an even bigger appetite and who wouldn't like having their little bird roosting on their lap?)

Simon is shoving you to your knees to keep him warm when the mood strikes him, which is usually whenever is most inconvenient to you.

No, come back here, gimmie your thoughts about price coming home, sweat soaking through his clothes. Reeking, needing a shower.

But you just won't let him. Clinging onto him before he washes it all away.

“Bloody hell love, what’s gotten into you?” John snorts as he watches the way you shove yourself deeper under his arm, nose pressed firmly against his armpit and he raises a brow at the whine that leaves your throat. You had ambushed him on his way to the shower, blocking the doorway as you rut against him like a bitch in heat

“Shmellsh goodsh..” John can’t tell if your voice is muffled or slurred, or a combination of both, and he swallows when he feels the slick heat of your cunt against his thigh.

“Jesus pretty, at least let me-“

“No! No you can’t!” You beg, breath catching as you hump yourself against his leg, dragging your tongue over his collar bone, collecting the sweat that had pooled there.

“Fuck you’re a nasty fuckin girl.”

ⓘ You can Bite your Friends.

Hiii ! i wanted to know if you could make more Larry’s headcanons??? i love him so much help-

I've been meaning to do this forever but skl started and I'm rlly busy😭

My Larry Johnson headcanons pt. 3 🧚

General and dating

- Fast driver, turns those corners like it's nothing.

- Calls you up at very odd hours of the night/day. Doesn't actually have anything to say, he just wants you to talk to him.

- Enjoys comfortable silences.

- Obsessed with the feel of you, not even in a dirty way. He wants to be in your skin.

- Smells like pine needles and smoke (trust me he told me).

- Wiggles his finger in your ear when he wants you to pay attention to him.

- His humor is either eye watering, floor rolling, perfectly timed comedy or literal dad jokes, there's no in-between.

- Silent treatment does not work on him, you'll end up speaking very quickly.

- Snores like "honk shoo, honk shoo"

- Sensitive scalp, the second your hands are in his hair he's struggling to keep his eyes open.

- Teaches you (or tries to-) anything that he's good at/ interested in. So now you have basic knowledge on guitars, drums , painting, colour theory, video games and.... Hamilton??😧

- He was a theatre kid ok🙄.

- Listens to Mother Mother.

- His love languages are all of them, loves hard.

- Adores gifts, or anything that he receives from you. He's keeping it forever.

- Has ghosting phases, unfortunately. I doubt that they last long (like a day) but he always comes back around.

- Loves matching anything, clothes? Jewelry? Shoes?, he'll do it.

- Licks any part of you he can access then pretends like nothing happened.

- He wants to get close to anybody your close to, and wants to love anything that you love. It's one of the many ways he shows that he cares.

- Silly little guy <3

I will stoop to subscribing to his onlyfans if that ghost cosplayer makes one. Everyone please avert your gaze during this trying time, this is a new low for me

Random HCs: Kozume Kenma (I)

➣ Kenma canonically gets cold easily so he probably owns a lot of thick, fuzzy thermal socks. His favorite socks, however, are liners and crew socks with cute video game characters or mascots. He collects them, honestly. He has a full Animal Crossing themed set, a pair of nerdy Legend of Zelda pairs, an adorable Neko Atsume pair, and even some Sanrio ones. However, he is slightly self-conscious about it so he only wears the cute ones at home or hides them under his clothing when he goes out.

➣ Kenma is always cold pt. 2: electric boogaloo—his hands get cold but he hates wearing gloves because they don’t register on touch screens when he plays games. Because of that, he developed a habit of buying oversized sweatshirts so he can have sweater paws that keep him warm while allowing him to use his phone. It is v v adorable but pls don’t point it out or he’ll get self-conscious. 

➣ When he’s nervous or thinking hard while playing a video game, Kenma has a habit of nibbling the edges of his sleeves. He literally has no idea he does it until he glances down and realizes there’s a little dark spot where his sleeve is when. If he’s in public, he’ll try to hide the spot with his hand out of worry that people will notice and think it’s gross. 

➣ When he’s happy, Kenma hums along to game OSTs he hears in his head. On warm weekend mornings, the rare times he’s out of bed before noon, he usually hums to some K.K. Slider song and at night it’s an orchestral piece from Kingdom Hearts. Back in high school, the team would sometimes hear it while he wasn’t aware he was doing it but they all silently agreed never to mention it because it was such a rare occurrence and they were just happy Kenma seemed to be in a good mood. Lev almost ruined it more than once and Kenma started getting suspicious when Kuroo would give him a knowing look and ask if something good happened recently.

➣ Kenma generally doesn’t put much beyond the bare minimum effort into things that aren’t important to him and he prefers simplicity so he usually won’t bother with fashion accessories or beauty products. However, if you, Kuroo, or Hinata give him something like a bracelet or ring, he will wear it. Unless he is required to take it off for some reason, he will keep it on 24/7 so it has to be waterproof and durable!

➣ For the same reasons as above, Kenma doesn’t bother with nail care (something Kuroo was always on him about back when he was a setter). His nails tend to be long and he won’t cut them until they become a nuisance like when he’s playing on a keyboard. However, if you ask to give him a manicure, he’ll quietly let you (as long as you don’t use an obnoxious color). 

➣ Kenma is actually quite sentimental and saves screenshots from conversations he’s had with you or friends that make him smile. When he feels sad he sometimes goes through them and feels his heart flutter when he reads a particularly thoughtful compliment or expression of how much he means to someone. When you guys start dating, he absolutely makes an album on his phone just to save your pictures and conversation screenshots. He won’t tell you about that if he doesn’t have to, though. 

➣ He listens to those Lo-Fi hip hop or “chill study beats to listen to”  when he wants background noise. At some point he rabbit-holed into a bunch of vaporwave music on YouTube so now it frequently shows up in his recommendations. Kenma doesn’t know many specific artists or songs, he just listens to whatever sounds good, but he also isn’t picky and never complains when you play your own music, regardless of the genre. If you play anything enough times, kenma will subconsciously start humming it at random times so you lose your shit the first time you hear the familiar beat of WAP being mumbled from across the room as he plays on his Switch LOL

➣ Eventually, Kenma gets a few tattoos. They are all black and grey, clean lines and tastefully done. Most are video game references, maybe one that reminds him of his old high school volleyball days. He won’t protest if you want to get matching tattoos, as long as they aren’t lame or poorly designed. Sometimes he finds himself touching or glancing down at wherever your couple tattoos are located, finding comfort in them when he’s stressed and overwhelmed or missing your presence. 

➣ Kenma takes long showers to dissociate. Please shower before him, he absolutely will use up all of the hot water. 

➣ He doesn’t actually care that much about what he wears so any stylish clothing he has is usually a gift from Kuroo, or a freebie from a brand partnering with his company and looking for promotion on his streams.

➣ Even when he’s on a losing streak, Kenma isn’t the type to yell or break things over video games. He simmers quietly, maybe whispers insults under his breath, but he never yells. It really annoys the enemy team when they realize they can’t get a reaction out of him lol. 

➣ Kenma’s absolute favorite position is sitting between your legs, learning back onto your chest while he plays a game or you two watch a movie together. He loves the warmth and is comforted by the faint vibrations of your heartbeat against his chest—will definitely fall asleep like that if he stays there too long. Because of how much it relaxes him, when you seem really stressed or sad, he pulls you into a similar position, holding you against his body and hoping you can feel his heartbeat.