Letter Template
Hi Everyone,
I wish I didn’t feel that I needed to write this post, and it contains discussion of: transphobia, including from the state; suicide; and domestic abuse.
However, it is necessary to fight back against the Conservative government’s latest attack on trans people, this time coming after trans kids. They recently released “Gender Questioning Children Non-statutory guidance for schools and colleges in England”. It is full of transphobia in the form of Gender Critical ideas and, if schools follow this ‘guidance’, it will cost many lives of trans kids. Gender Critical beliefs include the belief that sex is biological and immutable, people cannot change their sex and sex is distinct from gender-identity. This is fundamentally transphobic by denying the very existence of transgender people at all. Before diving into details, I ask that you read at least the summary and then use talking points from my template response at the end to write to your MP, school, and also contact the government's consultation on this guidance. The official consultation finishes near the start of March 2024 so please submit a response soon.
TL;DR: The main problems with this guidance are:
That schools do not have a “general duty to allow a child to socially transition”, by for example changing a child’s name and/or pronouns used.
“Parents should not be excluded from decisions taken by a school or college relating to requests for a child to socially transition”.
Throughout the guidance, there are a lot of Gender Critical opinions being stated, using language such as “ has been linked to gender identity ideology, the belief that a person can have a ‘gender’, , that is different to their biological sex. This is a contested belief.” This language is trying to suggest that the basic existence of transgender people is a contested belief.
The Truth.
Social transition, where adults close to the child/youth affirm their gender is known to be hugely beneficial, even acceptance & use of correct pronouns from one significant adult resulted in 39% lower odds of attempting suicide.
Across the population, transgender adolescents reported abuse rates nearly double that of their comparable cisgender heterosexual peers. Forcing the school to ‘out’ transgender adolescents to their parents drastically increases that child’s chances of being subjected to abuse.
It is well understood by most leading scientists in relevant fields that gender exists, and is separate to biological sex. Plus, biological sex is not a binary, and is not immutable, many aspects of it can be changed with medical intervention. This intervention has also proven to be very effective in helping people with gender dysphoria.
Letter Template
The following template letter is intended for parents to send to the head teachers of their children’s schools. Of course, you are free to modify it however you would like and it is only provided as a suggestion. Please remove or change parts in angle brackets <> as these are intended for things specific to you.
Dear <head teacher's name>,
I am writing to express my concern about the recent government guidance for schools on “gender questioning” children. The guidance is transphobic all the way through and will cost lives. Transgender children deserve to be affirmed and treated with respect, enabling them to learn and grow just like any other child.
Specifically, there are two particularly dangerous parts to the guidance. The forced outing of transgender children to their parents, and the declaration that schools do not have a general duty to “allow” a child to socially transition.
Firstly, affirming a child during their social transition by using their pronouns is suicide prevention. Studies have shown reduced rates of suicide attempts in transgender young people when they are affirmed in their gender. If a young person has their pronouns respected by even one significant adult in their life attempted suicide rates are reduced by 39%. (ref: https://www.thetrevorproject.org/blog/acceptance-of-transgender-and-nonbinary-youth-from-adults-and-peers-associated-with-significantly-lower-rates-of-attempting-suicide/). For many transgender children with unsupportive or transphobic families, school is often the only place that can provide this affirmation of their identity.
The school’s duty of care to children and young people includes taking reasonable steps to protect them from foreseeable risks, including physical and emotional harm. Clearly these suicide statistics constitute foreseeable risks of actual harm to children if their gender identity is not respected and correct pronouns are not used. People at the school using the correct pronouns would be considered “reasonable steps” to prevent this harm. Please ensure your school never contributes to these preventable deaths of young people. You must reject this government guidance.
Secondly, the guidance takes a “parent first” approach. It should be obvious that the main person needing protection is the child themselves. Forcibly outing anyone to anyone else is never ok. Especially when that person is a child and you're outing them to those who have the most power to hurt the child.
In a study, 43% of transgender and non-binary people have suffered abuse from family members (ref: https://galop.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/Galop-LGBT-Experiences-of-Abuse-from-Family-Members.pdf ). Often the only way to keep safe is for the transgender or non-binary young person to remain closeted and keep their identity a secret from the rest of their family.
Transgender adolescents reported abuse rates of nearly double that of their cisgender heterosexual peers. (ref: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8344346/ ). These rates are for the general transgender population, the abuse itself will be very skewed towards parents who are transphobic abusing their transgender adolescents.
The decision of when and how the young person wants to inform their parents, must stay with the child, for their safety. Please ensure your school remains a safe place for all our children and doesn't subject them to the cruel and dangerous practice of forcibly outing them. Taking child-first approach would be more in line with the guidance regarding teenage pregnancy: schools are not obliged to report a pregnancy to the young person’s parents but rather the young person is encouraged to inform their parents themselves (https://www.pathwayslearningcentre.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/Teenage-Pregnancy-Guidance-for-Schools.pdf)
The government has an open consultation on this guidance that ends soon, at the beginning of March. Please add your response in the consultation as to why your school will not be following the guidance, specifically that it will cost lives and subject children to abuse that could have been prevented. It can be found at https://consult.education.gov.uk/equalities-political-impartiality-anti-bullying-team/gender-questioning-children-proposed-guidance/
<optional extra paragraph, only include if you are willing to discuss further with the head teacher>
If you would like to discuss this matter further, or look at the other problematic areas of the guidance, please let me know and I will be happy to provide further information and evidence, either in person or in writing.
<end extra paragraph>
I hope for a future where all children are provided equal opportunities to learn and grow no matter their gender identity.
Respectfully,
<Sign your name here>
Links
Guidance document itself: Gender Questioning Children - non-statutory guidance
Gov consultation: https://consult.education.gov.uk/equalities-political-impartiality-anti-bullying-team/gender-questioning-children-proposed-guidance/
Gov press release: https://www.gov.uk/government/news/parent-first-approach-at-the-core-of-new-guidance-on-gender-questioning-children
Stonewall advice for fighting this guidance: https://www.stonewall.org.uk/our-work/campaigns/support-trans-youth-respond-government-consultation
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And more Les Mis in the world just makes it more accessible for someone who may not otherwise be able to go see. If you can't see a really expensive professional performance where you have to travel to it, go see a local amateur group.
I've seen performances by amateurs with very little skill that were so incredibly enjoyable, often more than the professionals. Firstly, the people on stage are just having the best time, it's so exciting and they're making the most of it because their show probably only runs for a week tops. Secondly, the mistakes show they are human and you feel like you're on their side, supporting them telling this story to you. All round great experience.
All these things are natural human behaviours and we should all have opportunities to participate and watch no matter skill level or anything. Fully support this idea.
having grown up doing community theatre and then some professional shows, i genuinely believe from the very bottom of my heart it is crucial that any human with the desire to perform on a stage gets the chance as many times as they like. singing and dancing are innate to humanity yet we've made it inaccessible to all but the select few we deem "good enough" to tolerate. i think people with no pitch and no rhythm and who can't remember their lines should get to be in musicals and plays and choirs and i mean that.
and community performing arts groups & venues shouldn't have to rely on ticket sales to fund their programs. they should be paid for by taxes and freed to focus solely on engaging & enriching the communities in which they exist.
Yeah, clear warning. Plus, B didn't seek to control A's body but they just gave a warning about their response to a situation.
However, yes, if I was A in this situation I'd leave even before getting the tattoo if someone reveals such prejudice. Assuming they have a discussion and it turns out to be a true opinion of B's.
A & B have been dating for 12 months. The topic of tattoos has never been raised between them, until now. Neither party has a tattoo.
A says, "I am thinking about getting a tattoo."
B replies. "It's your body, so it is yours to do with as you please. However, I should let you know that I find all tattoos unattractive. If you decide to get one, you should anticipate that I will break up with you."
dreams
suggestions for gender neutral version of mom/dad? something less formal than just ‘parent’
u can call ur skull-head deer oc literally anything else u don't even have to change the design
you know what perhaps strange women lying in ponds distributing swords IS a pretty solid basis of government actually
Not to go "if you have ADHD just go for a run" or anything, but I am so serious if you have ADHD you should regularly go outside, no headphones no phone no nothing and just stand and observe for a while until you've had enough. Not until you get bored, until you've had enough. Drink your coffee without watching tiktok. Have a bath without music. Turn down the volume in your headphones. I cannot overstate how much learning to be bored is cruicial with ADHD. Life is not just about pleasure, no matter what your dysregulated dopamine system thinks, and when you teach your brain to be okay with being bored, then boring tasks stop feeling like torture. By letting yourself be bored you are yoinking your system out of the high/low binary and allow for the highs to feel like actual highs and not just anything that isn't low. I am so serious go literally touch grass. Listen to the sounds in your flat. Stimulate your body the way it was designed. It lowers anxiety and makes you feel like you're real and best of all it's completely free
I wanted to remember Terry Pratchett today, on the tenth anniversary of the day he met Death.
I don't really have the words, but his books spoke to me in ways others didn't.
GNU Terry Pratchett
what I really like about Pratchett's work among all the other things, is that he basically opens all his books with exposure and "here is an immuable, very eternal law upon which the world is built" and then he spends the rest of the book trampling on that law
"it is impossible for a woman to be a wizard, so we're going to follow this wizard girl's journey"
"dragons are gone forever and dormant, here be no dragons. say hi to this one lady dragon tho"
"nobody can resist elves. that's why Magrat is going to deck their queen in the face"
"everyone knows women can't fight"
"everyone knows golems don't have souls. they all have names and personalities and-"
"all dwarves are men. then they were introduced to gender"
"Death is eternal and unchanging. Let's see what happens when he goes through all major human development stages in reverse starting with his retirement"
All in all "here's this thing everyone knows is true, here's why it's bullshit, here's how untrue it is, and here's how nobody is going to learn a lesson from being shown that this law of nature is bullshit. We all know people never learn right. or do they"
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