Aliens Doing This To Me Would Really Annoy Me. I Enjoy My Internal Jukebox And Don't Mind If They Listen

This dates the OP's trip. These days you'd never be allowed on a plane with a safety pin!

When I graduated high school my folks decided to go on a family trip to Europe. I was extremely surly about this as I had an undiagnosed UTI but I was extremely excited to speak German with native speakers, convinced I would be an asset to my family across our travels.

Tragically, it was immediately apparent that three years of public school German meant I could communicate at the level of a first grader.

I was nonetheless elated when a child approached me at the train station to ask “Haben sie ein Kuli?” “Do you have a pen?” I was able to say, “Nein, aber ich habe ein Bleistift!” “No, but I have a pencil!” The kid seemed confused by my triumphant tone but borrowed my pencil anyway.

But my absolute greatest victory in vocabulary came during an airline check. They had me go through a metal detector, and they assumed my belt had set it off. I knew my belt was non reactive metal but! My favorite jeans had lost their zipper and I had them safety pinned shut.

The man approached me with a metal detector and seemed puzzled my belt wasn’t reading. I remembered the safety pin in the front of my jeans and I happened to know the word so I joyously announced, “Ich habe ein Sicherheitsnadel!” “I have a safety pin!”

As if to an infant, the man said slowly, “Nein, das ist sein Gürtel.” “No, that is your belt.”

I waved at my crotch and insisted, “Nein, in mein Hose ich habe ein Sicherheitsnadel!” “No, in my pants I have a safety pin!”

I couldn’t remember the name for zipper but luckily he caught the shine of the metal where a zipper should be and finally realized why this crazy American teenager was gesturing to her crotch. He scanned his machine over the offending pin which pinged and he cleared me to go.

I marched off to board the plane in a glow of pride that I had gotten to use an obscure word and the poor man got to return to his day.

Those who do study history are doomed to watch as everyone who didn't repeats it around them.

Yo, correct me if I am wrong please, but didn't Hitler rise to power because he promised to fix the German economy and people really liked that so they looked past everything else he was doing??? Like exactly what's happening in America right now???

So many people said they voted for Trump, put a truly evil person in power, because he said he'd fix the economy, and a little voice in my head is going, "Isn't that what happened with fucking Hitler??"

But I've seen no one point that out so maybe I'm miss remembering???????

Guidance that Schools do not have a general duty to allow a child to socially transition

We all agree that schools have a general duty of care, to provide a safe environment for children to learn. This includes taking reasonable steps to protect them from foreseeable risks, including physical and emotional harm. Safeguarding policy states that there is a legal duty to promote the welfare of children and young people under the age of 18 who are in schools and colleges. However, this guidance is telling schools they do not have to “allow” a child to socially transition. This goes directly against the principle of promoting the welfare of these children.

Respecting pronouns (in a home environment), if a young person’s pronouns are respected by all people they live with, they attempt suicide at half the rate of comparable young people who do not have their pronouns respected. (ref https://www.health.state.mn.us/communities/suicide/documents/pronounssuicideprev.pdf)

Suicide risks are reduced 73% for transgender and nonbinary young people when they receive gender affirming care (ref: https://www.hcplive.com/view/suicide-risk-reduces-73-transgender-nonbinary-youths-gender-affirming-care, this study looked at medical transition, not social).

Even just one significant adult in a transgender young person’s life reduces the risks of suicide by 39% compared with transgender peers who were not accepted. If this significant adult is specifically a school professional, they have slightly less effect than a parent at 33% reduction in suicide risk. (ref: https://www.thetrevorproject.org/blog/acceptance-of-transgender-and-nonbinary-youth-from-adults-and-peers-associated-with-significantly-lower-rates-of-attempting-suicide/)

All of this evidence clearly shows that if a school refuses to “allow” a child to socially transition, they are putting that child at a much greater risk of suicide. This directly contradicts their safeguarding duty to “promote the welfare of children and young people.” as the school would not be “taking reasonable steps to protect them from foreseeable risks”.

To solve this, the guidance must be changed to include that the school has a duty of care to support and affirm the child’s social transition. This change is important given the fact that affirming someone’s gender is suicide prevention as well as the other significant benefits to the child or young person’s mental health that this would bring.

Parent first approach

The guidance states “Parents should not be excluded from decisions taken by a school or college relating to requests for a child to ‘socially transition’.”

Given the increased rates of domestic abuse suffered by transgender people, this guidance is simply unsafe. Forced outing of children to potentially transphobic parents is very dangerous, and will prevent these children from being supported anywhere, because school will out them to their parents.

In a study, 43% of transgender and non-binary people have suffered abuse from family members (ref: https://galop.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/Galop-LGBT-Experiences-of-Abuse-from-Family-Members.pdf). Often the only way to keep safe is for the transgender or non-binary young person to remain closeted and keep their identity a secret from the rest of their family.

Transgender adolescents reported abuse rates of nearly double that of their cisgender heterosexual peers. These rate multipliers are (1.84 for psychological abuse, 1.61 for physical abuse and 2.04 for sexual abuse, ref: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8344346/). This is for the general population, the abuse will be very skewed towards parents who are transphobic abusing their transgender adolescents. Therefore, if a child or young person does not feel safe coming out to their parents, they likely have good reason and the school would be going against their safeguarding principles to forcibly out them to these parents.

To correct the guidance:

To correct the guidance it must be changed to a “child first approach” where the child is believed, and the child themselves must explicitly give permission to the school for the school to discuss any aspect with their parents, if they wish to have their parents involved. The default must be to maintain the child’s privacy so as not to inadvertently subject them to abuse. The child first approach would be more in line with the guidance that teenage pregnancy does not need to be reported to the parents, but the child is encouraged to inform their parents themselves (https://www.pathwayslearningcentre.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/Teenage-Pregnancy-Guidance-for-Schools.pdf).

General Transphobia in the report

Even the title is transphobic, it’s “Guidance for Schools and Colleges: Gender Questioning Children”. Which portrays all transgender and non-binary children as questioning rather than certain. It allows people to subconsciously write them off as “not sure” or “still questioning”, when in reality many transgender and non-binary people know from a very young age who they are.

Most transgender people, approximately 75% of those studied, reported experiencing gender dysphoria for the first time between the ages of 3 and 7 years old (ref: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8766261/). This is roughly when the concept of gender, and the differences between children are developing.

Some children and young people at all schools and colleges may well still be questioning their gender identity. However, helping them find themselves by using the pronouns asked for and affirming their gender will enable them to discover who they are much more quickly than just suppressing any exploration. This will also help those that are certain who they are, as it just increases the respect and acceptance of all people in the education system.

The idea that gender is a contested belief is reiterated throughout the report. The report also tries to negate any support for transgender people by stating that it must be done while respecting other people’s gender critical beliefs. This is just plain transphobia and should be eradicated at every turn. 

Hi Everyone,

I wish I didn’t feel that I needed to write this post, and it contains discussion of: transphobia, including from the state; suicide; and domestic abuse. 

However, it is necessary to fight back against the Conservative government’s latest attack on trans people, this time coming after trans kids. They recently released “Gender Questioning Children Non-statutory guidance for schools and colleges in England”. It is full of transphobia in the form of Gender Critical ideas and, if schools follow this ‘guidance’, it will cost many lives of trans kids. Gender Critical beliefs include the belief that sex is biological and immutable, people cannot change their sex and sex is distinct from gender-identity. This is fundamentally transphobic by denying the very existence of transgender people at all. Before diving into details, I ask that you read at least the summary and then use talking points from my template response at the end to write to your MP, school, and also contact the government's consultation on this guidance. The official consultation finishes near the start of March 2024 so please submit a response soon.

TL;DR: The main problems with this guidance are:

That schools do not have a “general duty to allow a child to socially transition”, by for example changing a child’s name and/or pronouns used.

“Parents should not be excluded from decisions taken by a school or college relating to requests for a child to socially transition”.

Throughout the guidance, there are a lot of Gender Critical opinions being stated,using language such as “ has been linked to gender identity ideology, the belief that a person can have a ‘gender’, , that is different to their biological sex. This is a contested belief.” This language is trying to suggest that the basic existence of transgender people is a contested belief.

The Truth.

Social transition, where adults close to the child/youth affirm their gender is known to be hugely beneficial, even acceptance & use of correct pronouns from one significant adult resulted in 39% lower odds of attempting suicide.

Across the population, transgender adolescents reported abuse rates nearly double that of their comparable cisgender heterosexual peers. Forcing the school to ‘out’ transgender adolescents to their parents drastically increases that child’s chances of being subjected to abuse.

It is well understood by most leading scientists in relevant fields that gender exists, and is separate to biological sex. Plus, biological sex is not a binary, and is not immutable, many aspects of it can be changed with medical intervention. This intervention has also proven to be very effective in helping people with gender dysphoria.

Letter Template

The following template letter is intended for parents to send to the head teachers of their children’s schools. Of course, you are free to modify it however you would like and it is only provided as a suggestion. Please remove or change parts in angle brackets <> as these are intended for things specific to you.

Dear <head teacher's name>,

I am writing to express my concern about the recent government guidance for schools on “gender questioning” children. The guidance is transphobic all the way through and will cost lives. Transgender children deserve to be affirmed and treated with respect, enabling them to learn and grow just like any other child.

Specifically, there are two particularly dangerous parts to the guidance. The forced outing of transgender children to their parents, and the declaration that schools do not have a general duty to “allow” a child to socially transition.

Firstly, affirming a child during their social transition by using their pronouns is suicide prevention. Studies have shown reduced rates of suicide attempts in transgender young people when they are affirmed in their gender. If a young person has their pronouns respected by even one significant adult in their life attempted suicide rates are reduced by 39%. (ref: https://www.thetrevorproject.org/blog/acceptance-of-transgender-and-nonbinary-youth-from-adults-and-peers-associated-with-significantly-lower-rates-of-attempting-suicide/). For many transgender children with unsupportive or transphobic families, school is often the only place that can provide this affirmation of their identity.

The school’s duty of care to children and young people includes taking reasonable steps to protect them from foreseeable risks, including physical and emotional harm. Clearly these suicide statistics constitute foreseeable risks of actual harm to children if their gender identity is not respected and correct pronouns are not used. People at the school using the correct pronouns would be considered “reasonable steps” to prevent this harm. Please ensure your school never contributes to these preventable deaths of young people. You must reject this government guidance.

Secondly, the guidance takes a “parent first” approach. It should be obvious that the main person needing protection is the child themselves. Forcibly outing anyone to anyone else is never ok. Especially when that person is a child and you're outing them to those who have the most power to hurt the child. 

In a study, 43% of transgender and non-binary people have suffered abuse from family members (ref: https://galop.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/Galop-LGBT-Experiences-of-Abuse-from-Family-Members.pdf ). Often the only way to keep safe is for the transgender or non-binary young person to remain closeted and keep their identity a secret from the rest of their family.

Transgender adolescents reported abuse rates of nearly double that of their cisgender heterosexual peers. (ref: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8344346/ ). These rates are for the general transgender population, the abuse itself will be very skewed towards parents who are transphobic abusing their transgender adolescents.

The decision of when and how the young person wants to inform their parents, must stay with the child, for their safety. Please ensure your school remains a safe place for all our children and doesn't subject them to the cruel and dangerous practice of forcibly outing them. Taking child-first approach would be more in line with the guidance regarding teenage pregnancy: schools are not obliged to report a pregnancy to the young person’s parents but rather the young person is encouraged to inform their parents themselves (https://www.pathwayslearningcentre.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/Teenage-Pregnancy-Guidance-for-Schools.pdf)

The government has an open consultation on this guidance that ends soon, at the beginning of March. Please add your response in the consultation as to why your school will not be following the guidance, specifically that it will cost lives and subject children to abuse that could have been prevented.

<optional extra paragraph, only include if you are willing to discuss further with the head teacher>

If you would like to discuss this matter further, or look at the other problematic areas of the guidance, please let me know and I will be happy to provide further information and evidence, either in person or in writing.

<end extra paragraph>

I hope for a future where all children are provided equal opportunities to learn and grow no matter their gender identity.

Respectfully,

<Sign your name here>

Links

Guidance document itself: Gender Questioning Children - non-statutory guidance

Gov consultation: https://consult.education.gov.uk/equalities-political-impartiality-anti-bullying-team/gender-questioning-children-proposed-guidance/

Gov press release: https://www.gov.uk/government/news/parent-first-approach-at-the-core-of-new-guidance-on-gender-questioning-children

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Hi Everyone,

I wish I didn’t feel that I needed to write this post, and it contains discussion of: transphobia, including from the state; suicide; and domestic abuse. 

However, it is necessary to fight back against the Conservative government’s latest attack on trans people, this time coming after trans kids. They recently released “Gender Questioning Children Non-statutory guidance for schools and colleges in England”. It is full of transphobia in the form of Gender Critical ideas and, if schools follow this ‘guidance’, it will cost many lives of trans kids. Gender Critical beliefs include the belief that sex is biological and immutable, people cannot change their sex and sex is distinct from gender-identity. This is fundamentally transphobic by denying the very existence of transgender people at all. Before diving into details, I ask that you read at least the summary and then use talking points from my template response at the end to write to your MP, school, and also contact the government's consultation on this guidance. The official consultation finishes near the start of March 2024 so please submit a response soon.

TL;DR: The main problems with this guidance are:

That schools do not have a “general duty to allow a child to socially transition”, by for example changing a child’s name and/or pronouns used.

“Parents should not be excluded from decisions taken by a school or college relating to requests for a child to socially transition”.

Throughout the guidance, there are a lot of Gender Critical opinions being stated, using language such as “ has been linked to gender identity ideology, the belief that a person can have a ‘gender’, , that is different to their biological sex. This is a contested belief.” This language is trying to suggest that the basic existence of transgender people is a contested belief.

The Truth.

Social transition, where adults close to the child/youth affirm their gender is known to be hugely beneficial, even acceptance & use of correct pronouns from one significant adult resulted in 39% lower odds of attempting suicide.

Across the population, transgender adolescents reported abuse rates nearly double that of their comparable cisgender heterosexual peers. Forcing the school to ‘out’ transgender adolescents to their parents drastically increases that child’s chances of being subjected to abuse.

It is well understood by most leading scientists in relevant fields that gender exists, and is separate to biological sex. Plus, biological sex is not a binary, and is not immutable, many aspects of it can be changed with medical intervention. This intervention has also proven to be very effective in helping people with gender dysphoria.

Letter Template

The following template letter is intended for parents to send to the head teachers of their children’s schools. Of course, you are free to modify it however you would like and it is only provided as a suggestion. Please remove or change parts in angle brackets <> as these are intended for things specific to you.

Dear <head teacher's name>,

I am writing to express my concern about the recent government guidance for schools on “gender questioning” children. The guidance is transphobic all the way through and will cost lives. Transgender children deserve to be affirmed and treated with respect, enabling them to learn and grow just like any other child.

Specifically, there are two particularly dangerous parts to the guidance. The forced outing of transgender children to their parents, and the declaration that schools do not have a general duty to “allow” a child to socially transition.

Firstly, affirming a child during their social transition by using their pronouns is suicide prevention. Studies have shown reduced rates of suicide attempts in transgender young people when they are affirmed in their gender. If a young person has their pronouns respected by even one significant adult in their life attempted suicide rates are reduced by 39%. (ref: https://www.thetrevorproject.org/blog/acceptance-of-transgender-and-nonbinary-youth-from-adults-and-peers-associated-with-significantly-lower-rates-of-attempting-suicide/). For many transgender children with unsupportive or transphobic families, school is often the only place that can provide this affirmation of their identity.

The school’s duty of care to children and young people includes taking reasonable steps to protect them from foreseeable risks, including physical and emotional harm. Clearly these suicide statistics constitute foreseeable risks of actual harm to children if their gender identity is not respected and correct pronouns are not used. People at the school using the correct pronouns would be considered “reasonable steps” to prevent this harm. Please ensure your school never contributes to these preventable deaths of young people. You must reject this government guidance.

Secondly, the guidance takes a “parent first” approach. It should be obvious that the main person needing protection is the child themselves. Forcibly outing anyone to anyone else is never ok. Especially when that person is a child and you're outing them to those who have the most power to hurt the child. 

In a study, 43% of transgender and non-binary people have suffered abuse from family members (ref: https://galop.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/Galop-LGBT-Experiences-of-Abuse-from-Family-Members.pdf ). Often the only way to keep safe is for the transgender or non-binary young person to remain closeted and keep their identity a secret from the rest of their family.

Transgender adolescents reported abuse rates of nearly double that of their cisgender heterosexual peers. (ref: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8344346/ ). These rates are for the general transgender population, the abuse itself will be very skewed towards parents who are transphobic abusing their transgender adolescents.

The decision of when and how the young person wants to inform their parents, must stay with the child, for their safety. Please ensure your school remains a safe place for all our children and doesn't subject them to the cruel and dangerous practice of forcibly outing them. Taking child-first approach would be more in line with the guidance regarding teenage pregnancy: schools are not obliged to report a pregnancy to the young person’s parents but rather the young person is encouraged to inform their parents themselves (https://www.pathwayslearningcentre.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/Teenage-Pregnancy-Guidance-for-Schools.pdf)

The government has an open consultation on this guidance that ends soon, at the beginning of March. Please add your response in the consultation as to why your school will not be following the guidance, specifically that it will cost lives and subject children to abuse that could have been prevented. It can be found at https://consult.education.gov.uk/equalities-political-impartiality-anti-bullying-team/gender-questioning-children-proposed-guidance/

<optional extra paragraph, only include if you are willing to discuss further with the head teacher>

If you would like to discuss this matter further, or look at the other problematic areas of the guidance, please let me know and I will be happy to provide further information and evidence, either in person or in writing.

<end extra paragraph>

I hope for a future where all children are provided equal opportunities to learn and grow no matter their gender identity.

Respectfully,

<Sign your name here>

Links

Guidance document itself: Gender Questioning Children - non-statutory guidance

Gov consultation: https://consult.education.gov.uk/equalities-political-impartiality-anti-bullying-team/gender-questioning-children-proposed-guidance/

Gov press release: https://www.gov.uk/government/news/parent-first-approach-at-the-core-of-new-guidance-on-gender-questioning-children

Stonewall advice for fighting this guidance: https://www.stonewall.org.uk/our-work/campaigns/support-trans-youth-respond-government-consultation

Do you think it would be possible to do this in reverse for minor surgery if for example someone was allergic to anaesthetic?

Like set the whole thing up, then draw with a pen where the incisions "would be" to "prepare" while the real hand actually has the operation.

I suspect the brain might reinterpret the sensation as drawing with a pen rather than being cut with a scalpel.

However, running this experiment would be probably too risky because of the damage possible if it didn't work and the patient flinched.

Given what I've heard about being stabbed in the back with a knife (it just feels like you've been punched apparently) if you don't know it's a knife, I suspect it probably would work.

Not willing to try though.

this is insaaaane, our brains are so fucking weird

Folks, friends, y’all…. esk*mo is a slur. I understand a lot of people don’t know that, I don’t want to be a dick about it, but I’ve been seeing it in fics. Wanna write “esk*mo kisses”? Just say “nuzzled noses” or something.

I’m not here to call anybody out, it’s been in multiple fics, I’m not vague posting. This is just a psa. 👍🏻

I love my rainbow unicorn! Honourable mention are my wolf and otter though.

i just think it says a lot about the person. my favorite is a bear named theodore