I Think I've Been Reading Bernard's Name With The Wrong Pronunciation For Years. I Didn't Watch Many

Today's the anniversary.

Goodbye Jaybin, you were a goddamn delight.

(Art is by the amazing @dahtwitchi. This is a freeform collab with no real goal)

SugarTobi moans quietly, rolling his hips against gvTobi with a short gasp against his neck. "F-Fuck...Yeah, yes, he'd like...Not too deep, we haven't, ah, trained ourselves yet..." SugarTobi's other hand braces itself on the eldest Tobi's hip and squeezes appreciatively. "Yeah, let him suck...He learns so fast~"

The youngest is shaking, lips parted and breath hot on gvTobi's thumb. His hand slides down the other him's arm to loosely hold his wrist. He wants to move forward himself, curl his tongue around the digit and take it into his mouth, but...Fuck, he also wants the other version if himself to take charge and...and fuck his mouth with whatever he damn well pleases. ("Not too deep". How embarrassing. What, is he the only one here with a gag reflex?)

SugarTobi's eyes flicker up to find gvMadara's, dazed and already near to falling into subspace. "Right..." he returns his attention to the man in his arms. "Command me, then. Tell me what you want me to do to your lovely body..." Dizzily, he becomes certain that he has spent too much time around Madara to have picked up some of his favorite descriptors of Tobi's body.

He huffs a laugh against his elders shoulder as he changes hands and begins to massage the man's nipples. That's new, too. Neither Sugar personally care about those, so...it's interesting. Caressing the parts of this body that is so similar to his own that if he looks down he can almost pretend he is touching himself. "Of course...don't go far past the uvula. He likes when you pet his tongue and let him suck..." A full body shiver goes through the youngest and he whines needly. "The...The palatine tonsils should be the limit..."

SugarTobi watches, enraptured, as his younger self begins to drift into subspace from gvTobi's fingers and voice alone. "Fuck...he's falling already? Wow..." He lightly bites his elder's shoulder to make sure he's paying attention. He's a bit jealous of the youngest, but won't let himself fall until he is sure that gvTobi can handle both or either of them. "He's going to be...extremely suggestible like this. Obeying orders is going to leave him euphoric...could probably get him off with praise alone." Not that SugarTobi knows anything about that. Madara's voice telling him what a good boy his is has certainly never brought him to one of the most intense orgasms of his life, no.

"It's....complete trust. If you get overwhelmed or don't want him...send him to my Madara; he will treat him well." He glances at the man he is speaking of and draws a short, stuttering breath at the intensity of the attention the Madaras are giving to them. The two Madaras in varied states of undress almost make him laugh and do fill him with a sense of accomplishment. Some of the most powerful ninja in the world are shucking their robes and running their hands over each other while hardly looking away from the trio of pretty lookalikes.

He meets the passionate gaze of the eldest Madara and presses his thumb down just a bit on the head of his alternate's dick on his next stroke. SugarTobi might shoot the man an arrogant smirk as he does.

Prompt commission from anon on ko-fi:

“Totally love your idea of Tobi with a baby or toddler :) Could I request for a little comic strip of my favourite pair, MadaTobi with the toddler or baby? Maybe, Mada opinion of Tobi (he’s such a cold hearted bastard) changed when he sees Tobi interacting with a toddler?”

So here we are, Madara a month in coming by the Senju household to make sure the baby isn’t treated badly, or catch Tobirama out being actually bad enough to make a case the baby should be taken from him. That’s not what happens :D Who knew Senju Tobirama could smile, or be silly? Lovely prompt, thank you!

If you have written a Batman story that you think is actually legit, go ahead and submit that to DC. They are in the business of selling stories and they've made plenty of crazy little one-shots.

Look at Batman: Reign of Terror, where it's set in 18th century France. Robin is Bruce's little sister, Rochelle (the true title-holder of Most Ignored Robin by the Fandom). They're fighting Herve Deinte.

If that isn't the result of two special interests colliding with someone taking a chance to put it in production, then I didn't know what is.

I believe so many of you are capable of turning your fanfic dreams into legit comics. (Maybe not as blatant in certain cases, but there could be hints and casual asides, a post-it in the background, etc.)

My immediate reaction was "No, leave that old man alone; he is an angry gem who encourages children and has high standards for adults who claim to be professionals" and then I realized how Batman coded that sentence was and needed to sit down.

And then I remembered that he also has an estranged brother who has attacked him, or threatened his family, I think, maybe? And now I'm vibing with the concept of Gordon Ramsay having a vigilante alter-ego in the DC world.

I've given enough angst lately. Have something amusing:

Chef Bernard Dowd on Hell's Kitchen.

Imagine it, please. Imagine Tim gripping with bloody hands to the shreds of his self-control, trying not to physically attack Chef Gordan Ramsey for yelling at Bernard for fucking up the risotto.

Temples are built for gods. Knowing this a farmer builds a small temple to see what kind of god turns up.

Yoooo! Yes!

When Batman was a wee little character, just a concept still being fleshed out by Bob Kane and Bill Finger, Batman killed people.

Like, with guns, even.

One of the early comics has him straight up acknowledging that he's about to kill innocent madmen who were experimented on at Arkham and turned into monsters, but he had to stop them from killing other innocent people.

Early comics were wild and I am out here so excited to talk about history and the moral panic of the 50s and how legally you couldn't publish a comic that made a criminal sympathetic!

I've got. So many essays. About the Comics Code Authority and its effect on media and culture.

Me, skimming pages of Batman year one and two, with Jaybin: . . . The f#&% you mean Batman has killed before in self defense? •-•

WHAT!!!??? BATMAN HAS KILLED PEOPLE!?!?!? ._.

This... This messed with my character analysis so much.

WHAT. DO. YOU. MEAN?!

"I'm glad they're dead!" Careful, Jason, the writers took that singular comment and haven't let it go since.

Also, just shout out to Jaybin for being all cute and >:/ and :D

Bro, you are single-handedly going to return Rena to mainstream and I'm here to cheer you on.

I almost don't want to let the official DC writers get her though, what if they do something stupid with her character?

Worst part of being a DC fan is when you fixate on some niche ass character that even the writers forgot about

like, Thaddeus Thawne gtfo out of my head istg

Eroticism is simply one of the basic modes of human expression and the fact that it terrifies people who have built their lives out of repression and self denial is only more reason to make erotic art. They will not stop with their own lives, they want to punish anyone who doesn’t conform to the same standards of cruelty they heap on themselves. But of course it will not work. It has never worked before. Even under the most adverse conditions beauty has always found ways of flourishing. We refuse to hide or live in shame and fear. We will make beautiful that which they find repulsive. 

Hey, shout-out to Marvel who made their (at the time) front runner, most popular and profitable hero into a domestic abuser by accident. And I don't mean "accident" as in a writer made a bad character decision that was signed off on, I mean "accident" as in there was a literal miscommunication between the writer and the artist.

Can you imagine suddenly becoming a wife-beater because two of your gods missed a memo? Wild.

BUT! Instead of retconning this, the team leaned into it, made it lore that Ant-Man's tech was giving him mental problems and emotional instability. He faced consequences and had to struggle with himself as a hero and as a person. It's a fucking great plotline, it's a fantastic story hook!

It's depth and recognition of brain disorders and loving someone and divorcing them anyway because you have to put on your own oxygen mask first. It's realizing that your long-term plans are crashing down around you because of a physical injury no one can fix. It's an identity crisis. It's losing friends because being a caretaker is hard.

It's retiring a character for legit in-world reasons and allowing someone else to take up a symbol. It's about creating a legacy.

Marvel lost a major money-maker during this time, but holy shit did they get to tell a story.

This is the stuff I think about when I get frustrated with DC's restarts and quick retcons; what kind of intense, personal storylines could we have seen play out if they just allowed their characters to make those mistakes? Take those terrible actions?

I don't want to see something awful handwaved into "it didn't actually happen", I want to peel open a character's mindset and motives and understand why it did. Give me the introspection. Give me the reasons. Give me them acknowledging mistakes.