Dr-axolotl-ataraxis - Dr Axolotl Ataraxis

love that genre of old newspaper comics where the characters would be flipping their shit over missing a due date

come on americans, help a girl out

variations on "feel old yet" meme:

lying (overshooting): feel old yet? the first episode of spongebob aired 36 years ago

lying (undershooting): feel old yet? the first episode of spongebob aired 7 years ago

lying by a ridiculous amount (overshooting): feel old yet? the first episode of spongebob aired 900 years ago

lying by a ridiculous amount (undershooting): feel old yet? the first episode of spongebob aired 15 minutes ago

real date of event no one reading was alive for: feel old yet? the great san francisco earthquake happened 118 years ago

real date of event no one reading was alive for or cares about: feel old yet? prince frederick henry died 395 years ago

event no one reading was alive for and also lying: feel old yet? the great san francisco earthquake happened 4 years ago

event that did not happen: feel old yet? brian mulroney was assassinated 48 years ago

event that did not happen and even if it did this would be a lie: feel old yet? brian mulroney was assassinated 197 years ago

real date of event on a cosmological scale: feel old yet? the sun was formed 4,600,000,000 years ago

lying on a cosmological scale (undershooting): feel old yet? the sun was formed 12 years ago

lying on a cosmological scale (overshooting): feel old yet? the first episode of spongebob aired 12,000,000,000 years ago

real date of a personal anecdote that only you know or card about: feel old yet? i made a really good stir fry 5 years ago

reversal: feel young yet? frozen 3 is coming out in 3 years

reversal on a cosmological scale: feel young yet? the sun will collapse in 8,000,000,000 years

reversal (lying about event): feel young yet? the first episode of spongebob will air in 3 years

reversal (lying about time, overshooting): feel young yet? frozen 3 is coming out in 8,000,000,000 years

reversal (lying about time, undershooting): feel young yet? the sun will collapse in 3 years

reversal (lying about time, really undershooting): feel young yet? the sun will collapse in 12 minutes

real date of a recurring event that wasn't very long ago: feel old yet? halloween was 13 days ago

lying about recurring event: feel old yet? halloween was 10,000 years ago

reversal of recurring event: feel young yet? thursday is tomorrow

reversal of personal anecdote: feel young yet? my laundry is done in 52 minutes

real(?) date of a nonspecific event: feel old yet? something happened 2 years ago

lying about the reader (undershooting): feel old yet? you were born 5 years ago

lying about the reader (overshooting): feel old yet? you were born 650 years ago

making a reasonable guess about the reader: feel old yet? you were born 22 years ago

technically telling the truth about the reader: feel old yet? you were born between 0 and 120 years ago

threatening the reader: feel young yet? you will die in 7 days

non sequitur: feel old yet? half of all chameleon species on earth live in madagascar

non sequitur (lying): feel old yet? chameleons are immune to fire

lying on several levels: feel old yet? chameleons were invented 36 years ago

self-reference: feel old yet? i started writing this post 40 minutes ago

giving up: feel old yyet?th e emmenkr,tn dbw a 8 gn m hk\

i can't finish the joke someone else come up with a punchline: feel old yet?

declarative statement: you feel old.

subversive declarative statement: time isn't even real.

reference another meme: feel old yet? yeah. this is the beach that makes you old.

reference another meme specifically about injecting non sequiturs into long posts: feel old yet? the glue that lets you walk up and down anything was invented 36 years ago

this is the one !

Clown cars actually operate on two opposite sides of a bell curve - the most average-sized cars transporting a sensible amount of people are the least clown cars. So while the more famous type of clown car is the comically tiny vehicle that can fit an absurdly large amount of clowns inside, a huge fuck-off giant pavement princess ego truck that is only used for transporting the driver around is also a clown car.

‘don’t be political’ ‘I don’t want to see that on my dash’ ‘keep your opinions to yourself’

NO. Absolutely not- over my dead fucking body, you hear me?!

Don’t you dare try to make yourself small, don’t you dare be passive and roll over while they run your country to the ground. I’m not even American and this makes my blood boil, watching all the horrible things happening over there. They have taken your rights. Do you understand me? It is propaganda, plain and simple. Staying quiet just to appease other people is exactly what they want. They want you to remain passive, they want you to hope that things will get better on their own.

here’s the simple truth- it won’t. not unless you do something about it. we all saw it with the UHC shooter, citizens being abused and refused for years, but the second someone leaps into actions, suddenly the gears start turning. I understand that politics isn’t for everyone, and it may very well mentally affect you. but I believe this isn’t the time for that.

YOUR PRESIDENT JUST PUT A BUNCH OF LGBTQ KIDS AT RISK. THE WORLDS RICHEST MAN DID THE NAZI SALUTE AT YOUR INAUGURATION. YOU ARE WATCHING THEM TAKE AWAY YOUR RIGHTS IN REAL TIME ON NATIONAL TELEVISION.

for fucks sake, that doesn’t bother you?

this is the time for action. Do not let them take away your voice. Be inconvenient. Be angry. Be a public menace. Be as fucking difficult to the government as you could possibly be.

it could actually save a life.