"Forcing Myself To Remember Felt Like Voluntarily Rubbing Salt In My Wounds, Especially After All That

Thank you so much @jockallensworld and @myfallenangel04 it really made me happy 💕 I consider both of you amazing too

I’m tagging @marycecilyy, @amrrygae, @vanillaamoursucrethings, @momiyi-chan, @distantwhores, @candysweetposts, @ioana23, @my-love-for-leiftan, @mimiayachan, @satansfaery because all of you guys are awesome and I really love you 💕💕

Greatest Tumblr Award (Re-boot)

1, 2, 15 & 18 for Cas! 💘

thank you! I’m sorry some of these turned out short, but I didn’t want to make it too long (and there were 4 prompts)

1. cuddling

Castiel would never admit it, but he really likes to cuddle (when he can, of course, it’s not rare he’s not home)

his absolute favourite is when he can hug Candy from behind (for obvious reasons...) and bury his face in her neck

he also likes to fall asleep while cuddling Candy, it’s actually hard for him to do so without her

2. kissing

Castiel is all for long kisses on the lips, battling with their tongues for dominance, pressing their bodies strongly together

his other favourite part of Candy’s body is her neck: kissing her there gifts him either her adorable laugh or an erotic sigh, depending on the circumstances and the length of the kiss

he tries to avoid kissing Candy’s neck though, he can’t resist staying there a little longer and giving her hickeys, whihc she doesn’t usually like since they are visible for some time

15. touching

he likes it when Candy runs her hands along his body. scratching his arms, his chest, playing with his hair, slightly pressing against the place between his legs... these are certainly not unenjoyable and Candy can drive him crazy if she tortures him like this for too long

him, on the other side likes to torment her with lingering touches, especially through her clothes, that makes it always worse for her and better for him

18. what turns him on

one day, Castiel went home to Candy singing one of his songs loudly and dancing to it. the singing wasn’t totally on point, but the dance was freaking hot. Candy was embarassed about it first, but when she knew what he thought, she started doing it intentionally. Castiel often catches himself staring at her

and even if it’s not one of his songs, Candy dancing suggestively and slowly getting undressed... that’s also one of his biggest turn ons

Castiel enjoys looking at her butt as well. when she only has panties on and it’s visible under her baggy T-shirt, when she’s in leggings, in a short skirt, doesn’t matter, he has seen her naked that it’s enough to just think of her 🤭

day 1 - moving out (Candy x unspecified LI)

Words: 443

TW: the story happens after Candy's husband (I didn't specify who) passes away. there aren't any mentions about how he died; but still read with caution if this subject can upset you

Candy's P. O. V.

"Ma'am, are we free to go, is everything set now?"

I didn't pay attention to the question, still standing in the doorway, sweeping the empty room with my eyes. It was hard to take in the view: my brain filled in the void with the rugs, furnitures, pictures, newspaper on the table, the TV....

"....ma'am?"

I turned towards the young man in front of me; he was working for a professional decluttering company, the very one I called to help me get rid of some of my belongings. My heart ached to let go of certain things, but I couldn't possibly take everything with me to my new flat. The only real love in my life left my side, and I couldn't bear to live alone in the same house that was once filled with his laughter and voice.

I hoped that the organiser would impute me not hearing him to my old age, and nodded. "Yes, everything is on the truck, you can go. Thank you for your help."

He curtly said goodbye, then left, taking his favourite armchair, his desk, his-

The thought of raining on a day like this being cliché flashed through my mind, when I realised that it was my own tear that wetted my face. I thought that I had got over it by now; isn't grief supposed to last for only a few months? That's what all of my friends told me, at least. That it will be better, that I will eventually forget about him, that life will overgrow the pain...

When will it dull?

I walked back to my own car. There was nothing else I could do, the whole house is empty besides few things that the owners-to-be liked and bought. My accidental prediction became true after all; when it was already dark - so dark that the world outside my car's light seemed non-existent - I noticed some drops on the wind-shield. One, two, five, and many, many more. They imitated my tears that started falling once again, and I had to pull over to calm down. There were two images in my mind, never disappearing: one showed the house the way it once was, full of life when the grandchildren visited, being a safe heaven for them; and one showed its present state, the walls ripped from the family photos covering them, the wooden floor naked without the carpets warming them, the dark rooms with all the light taken away from there.

An image of life, and an image of death. A painful reminder of the past, and the truthfully cold present.

And I couldn't decide which one hurt more to see.

"The grief does not go away. It doesn’t go away, life just grows around lit. First, there is nothing but loss. All the time. It breaks up body and soul sharply, without mercy. You have to go crazy, you have to perish in pain. We feel like there's no more. With such an absence, such a large void, it is no longer possible to live. Then life goes on. Time goes on stubbornly. Suddenly the moment will come — it will only become clear later — when it no longer hurts without stopping. Breathing spaces start to take place in the flow of torment that was thought unstoppable. Minutes when you can pay attention to something else. Little islands. Then there will be more and more of these. Suddenly we find that the morning, the boundary between dream and wakefulness is no longer broken by the icy realization that they are no more. Then, sometimes we can smile when we think, "Hm, I remember how funny it was when....!" Memories no longer bring pain, but gratitude that they were here. Over time, there will be new joy, there will be new momentum. There will be plans and new desires. There will be peace and forgiveness, but grief will not diminish, it will not decrease. Life grows around it."

30 day angst writing challenge

Okay so, I go to my blog to find a picture I posted earlier and the “This Tumblr may contain sensitive media” page showed up, even tho I posted nothing that can be counted  as sensitive media???? I tried to contact Tumblr about this, but I can’t find where I can do it, so now I will wait for some time and hope 🤞 I really don’t know what to do

Get ready guys, something horrible’s coming your way

I'm thinking about having an AO3 account, and uploading everything I've written there... and also start writing there as well

it would be actually useful, because I never know how to write things in as little words as possible, and AO3 is better for longer writings

I could also just simply learn how to write properly hahah

on the other hand, I have fanfiction ideas, and Tumblr is not the best platform for those...

Aaaahhhh I love this so much, it has a kind of nervous but still calm and peaceful vibe (or at least to me). I really like the way you write, your choice of words and phrasing is amazing

I really liked it all in all, but my favourite part was the ending, it made me think about a short Nikita Gill poem I read

“We have calcium in our bones, iron in our veins, Carbon in our souls, and nitrogen in our brains. 93 percent of stardust, with souls made of flames. We are all just stars that have people names.”

guys i ended up not sleeping tonight cuz of adhd reasons i suppose and ended up writing incoherent things

does anyone wanna read it

i have no idea what to do with it

I love your headnanons! I dont know if you have done any but can you do nsfw headcanons for ANE Nevra? 💜

aw, thank you! and nope, I haven't written anything NSFW for Nevra yet, (and also, I don't think I have written purely NSFW headcanons before..... only one-shots. hmm). anyway, the rest is under the cut, I hope you will like it!

Nevra - NSFW headcanon

as much as he enjoys doing it in the shower (well, he's up to sex on literally any surface), he prefers having it in the bed, since can be the most comfortable there

his preference for position is similar; they often experiment with different things, but the good ole missionary is the best, especially because he can bury his head in Guardian's neck

a lot of times when they have sex, it's more out of anger or jealousy than pure lust. they can get pretty passionate during arguments, and it often takes a sudden turn in the other direction....

Nevra takes clothes off at lightning speed. Guardian flashes a teasing smile, reaches to start pulling up her top, them bam. her clothes are already on the ground, Nevra in front of her, observing his masterwork

he really, and I mean really enjoys watching Guardian, and she soon realises it as well. the usual dynamic between them is Nevra being dominant, but I can imagine Guardian sometimes telling him to just lie in one place (maybe even tying him up?), and undress, then touch herself in front of him

(also, not 100% related, but in a human world!AU, random-company's-CEO Nevra would totally be down to phone sex when he's away for Business Reasons™)

he's most in his element during foreplay; his hands exploring Guardian's body fully, stopping at certain places... pressing lightly on her throat, then wandering lower, towards her abdomen, playing with her nipples then going south again, digging his fingers between her already wet folds...

Nevra doesn't just touch though, he likes to taste what he sees as well, trailing kisses on the path where his hands went. when his mouth reaches her hot core, he switches his fingers with his tongue, not stopping until he makes Guardian come

when the actual fun begins, he's very touchy. his favourite is Guardian's ass, one hand is surely on it, grabbing for most of the time, but he likes to slap it lightly when the position lets him as well

as much as Nevra spoiles her in the beginning, he likes to torture a bit as well when he feels that she's close to her release. slowing his pace down, burying his cock fully inside of her before pulling out; all these make her beg him, which is music for his ears

the only sound that makes him happier than her whimper is her relieved moan when she finally comes. he finishes for himself as well while riding out her orgasm, then just pulls out and they lie there in each others arms, soon letting sleep take over them

13, 14, 15(nsfw). for Lance and Guardienne

thank you for your ask! I already did 14, I’ll leave a link to it. I also already wrote 15 once, but you specifically asked for NSFW, so I’ll wrote it again and put it under the cut in case someone wants to avoid it

13. soft spot / weakness

not a serious one, but I think Lance is quite careful with his reputation. he’s free, but he still gets weird side-glances from people

and just... his past, generally. it’s enough to just bring it up and he’s immediately mad, then rather sad and remorseful when he’s finally alone

even when they are not together (yet), Lance keeps a close eye on Guardian and her well being. he can jump in any moment if something is up with her

after they get together, Lance quickly learns that just a pretty smile shouldn’t be able to convince him all the time, but Guardian still knows her way around with her food 🤭

14. pregnancy / birth

15. touching - NSFW (not NSFW here)

one of Lance’s favourite things to do is running his hands across her body, touching her curves, sliding it between her legs, rubbing against her throat. the feeling is enjoyable in itself anyway, but the sighs and moans he recieves from Guardian are certainly a bonus

I wouldn’t be surprised if Lance liked tying Guardian up so he can do his “job” without being interrupted

he also likes teasing her down there with his hand, hard enough to make her want more, but not hard enough to give her real pleasure

truth to be told, he prefers fingering her. he can spoil Guardian better that way. it’s also freaking hot when she licks her fingers clean afterwards

I also think Lance is into light choking, though he’s always careful not to get carried away

thank you Fa for thinking of me 🥺 I like MCL more, but that doesn’t mean I don’t write for Eldarya (I actually recieved more ED requests lately than MCL hehe). my askbox was closed for some time, but a little later today I’ll reopen it so if you want to send me headcanon prompts anon, feel free to!

also yeah, in this post (my reblog of what Tetra linked as well) I listed the active MCL writers I know of. there are other people of course, just go through the comments and you will find lots of talented writers ❤️

Hey Tetra, how are you? Since you are not writing anymore (😥), could you recommend some blogs that write about MCL or ED?

Hey anon! Don’t worry there are lots of writers around here!  I get this question quite often, check the notes in this post, the whole fandom came together and tagged all the writers we currently have on tumblr.

Also, I will personally recommend to check my girl @vanillaamoursucrethings she is accepting requests but I have no time to read these days, please send her one in my place! 💕