-at A Justice League Meeting In The Midst Of A Very Very Stressful Few Weeks For Batman Where Everything

”batman isnt emotional” he sobbed on the top of a building because he knew everyone in his city was safe

Every time I see one of the “Bruce Wayne collects orphans” or “where does Batman get all these children???” jokes, I get this little ping in my head because, yes, it is a good joke, very funny, bonus points if it’s other characters trying and failing to combine Broody McBroodface with Tired DadTM. But also… 

I just can’t shake the conviction that no one is as baffled and bewildered by his ever increasing number of children than Bruce Wayne himself.

Like, this man clearly never intended to be a dad. He is Vengeance and Justice Committed to The Mission. Kids don’t factor into that. And to that point, it’s worth noting that none of his kids were premeditated. At no point has Bruce ever thought “maybe I want a(nother) kid.” They just sorta…happen. And not even in the usual way! (Mostly)

Like, Dick? Bruce wasn’t going “orphan shopping.” He went to the circus to to relax for once in his godforsaken life and wow, would you look at that, a vivid recreation of his own trauma and, oh, who’s this kid Batman keeps running into on patrol, wait, this is the same kid?! Whoops, I guess I’m raising this kid now, Alfred how do you raise a kid!?!

Jason? Yeah, Bruce was just doing his usual Batman thing when he ran into a homeless kid and somehow got too attached. Tim just showed up one day and said, “hi, I’m your kid now, and there’s nothing you can do to stop me.” (Really. you can’t stop me). Damien basically did the same thing, only with more stabbing. Cass…?? Stephanie????!!

(Bruce googling in the middle of the night: Is it normal to adopt your son’s ex-girlfriend?? Or did she adopt me??? Giving a kid an unlimited credit card and vigilante training counts as adoption, right??)

Point is, these kids just…show up, needing help, and somehow, for reasons that defy all logic, Bruce is the adult best equipped to help them. And yeah, Bruce never intended to adopt a kid (…or seven) and, no, he doesn’t exactly know what he’s doing, but these kids need him so he takes them in and does His Best because he’s the one who can. 

Which is all to say, I think we should see far more conversations re: Finding out Batman has approx. 5 million kids that go like this

Someone: What? Do crime-fighting orphans, just like…crawl out of the woodwork around you? Bruce, exasperated and visibly stressed: yeah, BASICALLY. 

Hi

Can we have some headcanons about GCPD reacting to Talon Dick? (We already traumatized JLA and Titans, now it is Gordon's turn, lol)

Heck yeah!

The first time Batman shows up with Talon in tow Gordon doesn’t even realize he’s there until Batman addresses him and Dick finally moves from his ominous perch on a nearby pillar. He was still enough that Gordon’s brain filed him away as a gargoyle. Gordon takes one good look at Talon and feels his fight or flight instinct kick in with full force. That golden eyed stare is a whole new kind of unnerving. He feels like a mouse caught in the gaze of a predator.

When Gordon not so subtly demands too now what the hell that “thing” is, Batman doesn’t even pause before saying “that’s Talon” and continuing with his debrief on the latest case. He refuses to to elaborate any further.

Gordon has to call a meeting when it becomes apparent that Talon (Gordon point blank refuses to think about the Cour of Owls being real. He refuses.) is now a permanent fixture at the Batman’s side because he’s had to console several terrified newbies during the last few weeks because Bird Boy’s scary factor is worse than the friggin Batman’s, and “No, commissioner! You don’t understand! I SAW HIM TAKE A SHOT TO THE THROAT AND WALK IT OFF!”

Gordon asks Batman only once if he has to worry about demons or zombies now, deciding that if the answer is “yes” he is going to quit. Damn it all. Unfortunately, the answer is no.

Dick takes a liking to the commissioner. The commissioner wishes Talon didn’t, because his heart palpitations definitely got worse since having a goddamn Talon show up in his office every other day. How did the guy even get in here? There was literally nobody in the room with him a second ago!

Just when Gordon thought he finally had the kid (because it IS a kid, he realizes with a nauseous twist in his stomach) all figured out, Robin shows up. Gordon had to call another meeting with the rookies after one of them insulted the walking traffic light and got dangled off the edge of a roof. New rule: No trash talking Robin. Ever.

Talon makes a game out of scaring the officers he doesn’t like. Gordon… doesn’t veto that game unless he knows that particular cop is clean. Which they rarely are.

Talon doesn’t talk in the presence of others for the longest time, and when he does Gordon nearly falls over in surprise. He was thoroughly convinced he’s only capable of bird speech.

imagine Batman had to take care of the rest of the Justice League members after a magic user turned them into toddlers/ kids

Bruce: *warms Clark's bottle*

Bruce: *sets Diana in a playpen*

Bruce: *burps Hal*

Bruce: *changes Ollie's diaper*

Bruce: *puts Barry on a child leash*

Bruce: *gives Arthur a bath*

Bruce: *puts J'onn in a Martian onesie*

Bruce: *gives Vic a green teddy bear*

Bruce: *sings Dinah a lullaby*

Bruce: *plays peek-a-boo with Zatanna*

Bruce: *holds a baby photoshoot for Carter and Shayera*

Bruce: *downloads Little Einstein for Ray*

Bruce: *puts an iPad in front of Ted*

Bruce: *starts training Billy to be Robin*

[later, back to normal]

Ollie: We're gonna pretend we don't remember all that?

Everyone: Yep.

I find the fact that the closest mountain point on earth to the moon, the highest mountain and the tallest mountain are 3 different mountains to be a tiny bit disturbing

Damian would feel so betrayed

Damian: Todd prepare. I’m going to kill you!

Jason: you can try but it probably won’t stick!

Bruce: what is this about?

Jason: I sent baby pictures of knife child to the robins group chat.

Damian: WHY DO YOU EVEN HAVE THOSE TODD?!?

Jason: If I wanted something I would bribe Talia with them.

Damian: what? LIES! NEITHER OF MY PARENTS WOULD STOOP TO SUCH A LEVEL RIGHT FATHER?

Bruce: …

Damian: father?

Bruce:… how much?

Damian: FATHER?!?

Bruce: name your price!

Damian: NO!

“After saving his Tribe from a bloodthirsty dragon, Viking teenager Hiccup Haddock suddenly develops a reputation that transforms him into the archipelago’s Dragon Whisperer. As he battles other enemies, he soon realizes that there are many others who share his special, high-flying talents. Hiccup must now use his newfound role to battle the evil Viggo, a madman who can open portals to other universes and pull different versions of Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III into our world.”

Yes I created a Dragonverse au. No I’m not sorry.

Wanna add your own AU to the Dragonverse? Tag me in you’re posts if you make any. I will cry.

I just finished reading this story and I loved every second of it

It has been almost a year since I started procrastinating writing the last chapter for this fic so uh. Have a sketch of the boys ig.

Tim Drake’s Farewell: The Day Gotham Let Him Go

They searched for him for months.

When Tim Drake disappeared, the entire Batfamily unraveled. One day he was there, saving Gotham alongside them. The next? Gone. No explanation. No note. Just silence. Bruce, Dick, Jason, Damian—they all assumed the worst. Kidnapping, foul play, an elaborate plot. Because Tim Drake doesn’t just leave.

But he did.

Months later, they found him. Not in a dark corner of Gotham. Not held captive by some villain. No, they found him in a small, quiet town in Europe. A place with cobblestone streets and flower boxes in every window. Tim was there, in a cozy house with a garden out back. And he wasn’t alone. He had a child—a bright-eyed little one with dark hair and a curious smile. The moment they saw the kid, they knew.

Kon.

The clone Tim made, after all those failed attempts to bring Kon-El back. Tim had finally succeeded. And he was raising this child alone, quietly, away from the chaos of Gotham.

The confrontation wasn’t what they expected. Bruce tried to argue, voice low and rough, that Tim was too young for this. “You’re barely out of your own childhood,” he said, the words falling flat even as he spoke them. He knew the truth: Tim had never really been a child.

Tim’s response? Calm. Firm.

“I raised you out of your grief. I was Robin because Gotham needed me to be. Because you needed me to be. But this isn’t what I wanted for my life. I’m choosing my happiness, Bruce.”

They didn’t know how to respond to that. Because Tim was right. He’d given everything—his childhood, his innocence, his sanity—for a city that never gave back.

Now, he had a family. A child who wasn’t burdened with masks and capes. And a life. A real life. One where he spent afternoons in the garden, mornings at the café down the street. Where he wasn’t “Red Robin” or “Tim Drake.” He was just… Tim.

There were signs of something else, too. Little things. An extra coffee mug in the kitchen. Another pair of shoes by the door. A faint, easy smile when he glanced across the street, as if sharing an inside joke with someone they couldn’t see. They didn’t press. But there was a quiet presence in Tim’s life, woven into the edges of this new chapter. Someone who helped build this safe haven, this peace.

And Tim had no plans of returning to Gotham.

“I’m not Red Robin anymore. And I never will be again.”

They didn’t understand at first. Not fully. How could he walk away? How could he choose this life, this quiet happiness, over the mission? Over them?

But deep down, they knew. They’d always known Tim’s heart wasn’t in it the way theirs was. He wasn’t like Bruce, who could never let go. Or Jason, who burned with restless fury. Or Dick, who carried hope like a torch. Tim had been the glue holding them together, but it had come at a cost. And now he was finally healing.

“I’ll still be family,” Tim promised. “I’ll visit. Holidays, special occasions. But this? This is my life now. You can’t take me away from my happiness because you need me to stay. That’s not fair.”

They wanted to argue. But what could they say? Tim had always been the rational one. The one who saw the bigger picture. And he was right.

Bruce’s voice softened. “You’re happy.”

Tim nodded. “I am.”

And in the end, that was all that mattered.

The Batfamily returned to Gotham, a little quieter, a little heavier. They’d lost Red Robin. But they hadn’t lost Tim. And as much as it hurt, they knew he’d finally found the peace they could never give him.

Some heroes leave the fight not because they’ve lost hope, but because they’ve found something worth living for.

Tim Drake had given Gotham everything. Now, it was time for Gotham to let him go.