My Favorite Thing About The Bats Is That… They Are Gothamites. And Sure They Scare The Shit Out Of

*looking at a picture of robin!dick on top of batman crying at a joker who didnt even doing anything yet*

Jason: BAHAHAHA

Dick: WHAT?!?! I was afraid of clowns! Sue me!

Tim: .....you LIVED at the CIRCUS!

Jason's a 10 while his boyfriend looks mid

In Gotham University where Jason is studying literature, while Danny is studying engineering. Nobody knew how they even met, but they both showed up one day going out with each other.

Nobody knew why exactly Jason, who is an absolutely beefcake, built like a fridge, was with a guy that totally looks like a loser. He was tinier than Jason - a complete twink-, he often gets up to run to the bathroom citing stomach problems, once you set him off about something, he'll never stop yapping about it.

So, one brave student went up to Jason and asked the question. Why him?

Jason just smirked and tilted his head at Danny.

"Open your mouth."

Danny does so obligingly in confusion. What he didn't know nor did he realise was that once he did, his features started to distort, looking more...not human.

His teeth were sharp and jagged, his mouth was like a gaping abyss, so dark that the only thing that you see was more and more teeth. His eyes took more of a green hue, skin turned paler, and his freckles shone like the stars.

Danny then rolled out his tongue, which came out long and serpentine, flicking it a bit before rolling it back into his mouth, becoming normal once more.

Jason gave a lovesick lustful look at him.

The student immediately understood and simply said 'Have a nice day', because they get why. Teratophilia is a thing, people.

Whenever Bruce can't do something as Batman he sends one of his kids in the cowl. Literally any of his kids. To deal with having to wear the cowl, they turn it into a game: will the justice league notice that Batman isn't the person under the mask?

Spoiler alert, they don't.

Somehow, the league never notices when it's not Bruce under the cowl, or at least that it's not the same person they all know.

Like never.

______

Hal: Hey Bats, you look taller today.

Jason, determined not to lose: hm

Hal, sensing danger and immediately backtracking: uh, that's not to say you don't usually look tall, I mean you just look taller today, um did you change your ear thingies?

Jason: *Batglare intensifies*

Hal: uh, I'm just gonna go

_______

Aquaman: you've been quiet this whole meeting, Batman, even for you.

Cass, currently wearing shoulder pads and absolutely insane platform boots: *a fim huff of breath*

Aquaman: right sorry, I forgot you were dealing with another mass break out from Arkham this week, you don't need to stay for the whole meeting. We know you probably know everything already anyway

Cass: *nods*

_____

Flash: Morning Batman. *zooms past*

Duke, absolutely befuddled:

Duke, quietly into his comm: you'd think the speedster would have the time to notice

The several batkids on the other side of the line: *laughing hysterically.*

Dick, wheezing: just do the thing where B tucks the lower half of his face into his cape like he's Dracula. You're doing great.

Bruce, from somewhere in the cave, actively giving up on the assumption that his coworkers have at least one working braincell between them: stop comparing me to Dracula, Dick

....I did not realize I reblogged so much today... damn ADHD is wild

An eight year old Bruce Wayne summons Danny (who is 14 at the time, mind you) in the Wayne family manors attic.

Danny: please don't be a cultist please don't be a cultist please don't be a-

Danny:

Danny: That's a child. Why is there a child?

Bruce who honestly didn't expect his great great great great nth grandparents weird ass spellbook bullshit to work: [squinting at Danny in scrutiny] I thought the King of the Dead would be…taller.

Danny: Oh great and now I'm being insulted by a six year old. It's like Young Blood all over again, just more posh. And alive.

Now this is my first time drawing Soundwave! My favorite solo mech :D

Texts From Superheroes

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[Dick’s Teen Titans era]

Donna: Gonna have to wash this blanket to get rid of that new smell.

Kory: *makes a note that humans prefer to mark objects with familiar scents*

—

Wally: Gotta love that new car smell.

Kory: *scratches out previous note and replaces it with a question mark*

—

Roy: Old books smell so good.

Kory: *increasingly frustrated note taking*

—

Dick: Mmm love that new book smell.

Kory: WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS?

Tim casually dropping bits of his traumatizing childhood lore on Red Hood(he knows its Jason, but Jason doesn’t know that yet)

but plays it off/alludes to it being Bruce and Dick that are treating him this way. And Jason believes him bc Tim sneaks off to see Jason all the time- which obvi makes the two of them very panicked when they realize he’s with the fucking Red Hood and thats their baby boy, which leads to get-your-ass-over-here-i-was-so-worried-you're-grounded yanks from bruce/dick, and that makes Jason think they’re like… awful+ he has pit madness so he’s not thinking straight and remembering the good parts of living with bruce and how he would never but anyway-

this eventually leads to Jason marching into the cave on Tim’s behalf… only to find, Bruce and Dick actually adore???? This tiny gremlin child??? Would literally die for him??? Are sooooooo fucking happy to learn its Jason, are like, really welcoming??? Love him??? Mourned him?????

And Jason is looking at Tim in confusion, and Tim is in the corner with his tablet and goes “haha. Nice. Horrified you back into the family, uwu” 

Anyway Tim is a chaos gremlin who deserves to force jason back into the family by making him truly horrified and want to raise tim on his own, which tim is not willing to do, so instead he has to co-parent him with bruce, which leads to reconciliation etc etc…

"Overcooked" - Work in progress

Toothless: The most cat-coded dragon to ever exist