AU Where Bruce And Co. (his Entire Hoarde Of Kids, Even Jason In Disguise) Are At A Gala. And It's A

Tim: What’s it like being tall?

Tim: Is it nice?

Tim: Can you reach comfortably for the cupboards?

Jason: We live in constant fear of the short ones who, in my experience, will climb 4 chairs, 2 boxes, a small coffee table and 6 oddly placed stools to get what they want.

Damian, scowling: It was one time!

What the Justice Leaguers Do On Their Days Off… I kept cackling at J’onn! 🤣

Part 1 of me and @chachalove160 crossover Au: Move Hero High School Au

(Yes it’s basically J&D R&C and SlyCooper in high school lol)

JJ/Tim probably can’t go do anything related to the joker because he’d probably still have guilt because his brain thinks joker is still his dad, but also because joker would be a huge tigger to Tim.

The other bats probably weren’t told anything on why Tim doesn’t deal with the joker babs and Bruce just told them straight up that Tim doesn’t deal with joker and that was that

Sometimes when Tim is like having an emotional breakdown he wants his dad just to be faced with the fact that his dad is joker and probably not someone he should go to when emotional

To add on, Tim gets confused about who his dad is. Is it Jack? Bruce? Joker?

He misses his dad, but from a combination of the torture, brainwashing, and multiple father figures, he can't tell exactly whonhis actual dad is. Joker tried to overwrite himself as Tim's dad instead of Jack, so Tim has a hard time grasping that he could have three father figures instead of one (not that said father figures were good, but that's the role they played in his life at some point [willingly or not]).

Tim ends up missing his dad, but not knowing who his dad actually is. This is similar to people who have homesickness but don't know where "home" is.

If you're doing a JJ AU (combining JJ with other timelines/canon events or even just forgaging canon for its parts), you could play around with these dynamics.

Is Bruce a good dad but Tim, in his confusion with Joker, doesn't truly trust him?

Are Bruce and Jack horrible fathers? Does this make Tim have three fathers who have all hurt or failed him?

Does Tim get the JJ treatment before or after he becomes Robin?

Does Bruce know (like in the OG story), or does Tim keep it hidden from even him?

JJ is such a cool (and angsty) premise.

Storyboard Toothless is the best thing I've seen today...! LOOK AT 'IM!!!!

The plight of a father of four boys

Batman (shouting, adopting an angry father voice): Why do you constantly make me angry and embarrass me?!

Nightwing looked at his brothers, who wore equally confused expressions. Batman groaned, his frustration evident, as he knew where this was heading.

Nightwing (waving his hands, exasperated): Batman, which one of us are you talking to?! Is it Red Hood?

Red Robin (pointing at the angry man, eager to deflect): It’s Red Hood, right?

Red Hood (denying, arms crossed): No, I don’t embarrass him. I annoy him! So it’s Red Robin, right? Because nobody likes him.

Robin (joining Red Hood's side, smirking): I agree!

Red Robin (spiteful tone, glaring): Oh, no, I know who it is. It’s the unwanted child, isn’t it?!

Robin (innocent, eyes wide): Why would you say that about Nightwing?

Nightwing (confused and defensive): What?!

Red Robin (pointing, voice escalating): No, I was talking about Robin Jr.! He knows I was!

Robin (shouting, angrily): Robin Jr.! Those are fighting words you knock off Timothée Chalamet!

Without warning, Robin pounced onto Red Robin's back, and they both tumbled to the ground in a flurry of limbs. Meanwhile, Nightwing and Red Hood started arguing, their verbal sparring quickly escalating into a physical altercation. Nightwing skillfully gained the upper hand, wrapping his arm around Red Hood’s neck in a headlock.

Batman sighed, feeling defeated, as he and Jim Gordon watched the bickering brothers. Jim couldn’t hide his amusement, much to Batman’s chagrin, a migraine already forming at his temples.

Jim (smirking): Hm, you know, I often forget you have like four or five kids. Which one were you referring to?

Batman (deadpan, rubbing his temples): All of them… All of them.

Jim (nodding, chuckling): Yeah, that tracks. Let them work it out of their system.

Batman (walking away, shaking his head): I usually do.

Jim (intentionally annoying the man): Hey, be thankful one of them isn’t a serial killer.

Batman (groaning, exasperated): Oh my god, it’s not a contest!

Demons arriving in Gotham: Finally! A place above earth that is cursed enough! This is perfect! Nothing can-

Jason Todd, whose body is full of concentrated Magical Waters: *walks into the 7/11*

Demons: *immediately disintegrate*

Jason: Huh. Anyway, one coffee and the meatball sub, please

The cashier, who just saw all the other customers in the shop turn into dust: Just take them

Hades after the Odysseus song

Hades: We should go to the Valhalla for vacation.

Persophone (in a hot tub): Hm, that would be nice for a winter vacay.

Hectate: Intake time!

Hades sighed, rubbing his forehead.

Persophone: Wait, let me go with you. Hera texted me earlier about this.

Hades (exhausted): Oh my me.

Hades and Persophone made their way to the intake room where all the suitors from Odysseus palace and for once Hades just laughed and clapped for a few seconds confusing the dead men.

Hades (amused): He actually gutted all of you? After the crap my family put him through I'm not even mad. I'm actually proud of him. All the idiots who tested that man line up, but Antinous you come up first. I have to know how he got you first, no wait tell me what led up to it.

Hades laughed surprising Hectate and Nyx. Persophone giggled as well. Antinous, with an arrow through his neck, reluctantly walked to the podium.

Persophone: I figured he would react like that.

When the League meets Baby Robin(Dick), they are genuinely surprised, as it seems impossible that Batman is raising this little ray of sunshine who appeared from between his cape and then proceeded to greet them with the brightest smile they've all ever seen, completely adoring Superman, saying how great Wonder Woman is, and actually laughing at Barry's jokes.

Bruce takes care of his work, but occasionally stops to, in fact, help Robin who is trying to do his English homework. The other members also help out, of course.

So, Hal arrives at the Watchtower, and Robin, seeing the man his dad mentor has been so grumpy about because of the last meeting they had (Hal doesn't understand that Batman is the best at his job and is the one giving directions for a reason, duh!), decides he will exact revenge.

He carries on a normal conversation with the man just as he did with everyone else, subtly leading the topic until Hal falls into the trap:

Hal: What about your mom? I can't imagine anyone putting up with the old bat.

He speaks with all mockery, but then his smile freezes when he sees the tremor in the little boy's shoulders.

Dick: *shuddering and holding back a little sob* my mummy died in front of me a few months ago.... I...

Hal is pale now, because the child actually sobs, and runs off to hide in the cape of Batman, who was now standing, ready to stitch up his child.

He's not the only one, Superman and the others are already there too, looking at him angrily because he made the little bean cry.

Hal is in a panic.

And if he sees how the boy smiles at him when no one is looking, sticking his tongue out at him while moving his lips to send him the message "Don't bother my dad", no one would ever believe him, not while the little boy is now clinging to Batman tightly as he slowly blinks away tears that not even the best actors could ever pull off.

Only Hal knows the devil behind that angel face.

Batman knows it too, but he adores his precious little demon.

Talia walked over to Damian, her expression a mix of playful reprimand and maternal affection. After a brief pause, a smile broke on her face as she scooped up her ten-year-old son, wrapping him in a warm embrace and showering him with kisses. Damian barely had time to react before he found himself trapped in his mother’s affectionate onslaught, overwhelmed by the scent of her strong perfume.

Damian (embarrassed): I’d rather be stuck in an elevator with Clayface than deal with this… this is my life now. Why is she so smothering?

Talia (ignoring her son's complaining): Shush, let me love you, my sweet tifl! I haven't seen you in three months and this is me being better then my awful, awful, awful father.

Ra's Al Ghul (smoking from a cigarette): I am the reason you stopped being insane after what Nyssa put you through, but sure put the blame all on me.

Damian thrashed his legs in a vain attempt to escape while reaching out to his grandfather for help.

Damian (begging): Grandpa, help!

Ra's Al Ghul: Nope. She once kicked me in the crotch with a heel when I tried to scold her parenting. Bruce, you wanna give it a shot?

Bruce simply walked away, not saying a word. Faced with the relentless affection of his mother, Damian groaned as Talia continued to shower him with kisses.

Talia: You should be happy to have such a strong, powerful, highly skilled, and sweet woman as your momma!

Damian let out a dramatic whine, but he resigned himself to her embrace, knowing this was just part of being her son. For now, he was at her mercy.