What The Justice Leaguers Do On Their Days Off… I Kept Cackling At J’onn! 🤣

I have a silly little headcanon that the only reason Gordon knows Batman is Bruce Wayne is because one time, shortly after the Bat and him started working "together" semi-regularly he had to interview Mr. Wayne at a crime scene and when he's done he turns around for a second as he grabs a cig from his pocket. When he goes to offer one to Wayne like he does to everyone, and the Bat, Wayne is just gone.

Gordon spots him a few moments later on the other side of the crime scene

Just, it's still early so the disappearing once done talking to Gordon has become habit but not a conscious one yet that Bruce is aware of and controls. So for a moment he disappeared like he would of if he were in the suit

“Things the Bats accidentally do outside of the suit because they’re so used to doing it in the suit” is one of new favorite tropes. It includes that Jason post the other day about walking differently with/without a 20 lb gun belt around your hips, etc.

Jason: "Dick, there you are, I--"

Dick, holding up his finger to his lip: "Shh."

Jason, raising a brow: "What's going on?" Dick, gesturing into the living room from the doorway: "I gave Dami some of my old toys a few days ago, and look, he's playing with them." Jason, holding back laughter at the sight of Damian moving a stuffed elephant and toy soldiers around the floor: "I didn't know he had it in him." Dick, whirling on Jason, his anger palpable: "No. Don't you dare. This is the first time I've seen him doing anything remotely close to what he should be doing at his age so don't you dare make fun of him for it." Jason, holding his hands up: "Jesus. I wasn't gonna... Okay, maybe I was, but whatever, I got it, no teasing baby bat for playing with toys."

Dick, nodding: "Good. Now come on, we should leave before he notices us and stops."

Jason: "You got it Dickie bird."

Batman: Crime is abnormaly quiet today, one more round and we should go home, chum.

Robin (Jason): A-Okay. I may even have time to read a bit before going to bed.

Batman: I'll think about it.

Robin: We could go to Bat Burguer! Di-Nightwing said they have an amazing chocolate milkshake.

Batman: I don't know, Robin...

Robin: I'm sure they have banana milkshake as well or something fruity.

Batman: Hm

Robin: I knew it!

Batman: Hm??

Robin: You are a fruit bat.

Batman: what?

Robin: I was reading a book about animals and they say that of the 1200 known species of bats only three are vampire bats. You are too normal to be a vampire bat. Also vampire bats are smaller and you are very big and vampire bats move solo and while you like to prented to be moody and lonley you have me, Agent A, Batgirl and Nightwing and that just in Gotham. So you are a fruit bat. And you love fruity things.

Batman: *smilling* I suppose.

Robin: And that means we are going to drink the milkshakes because you can't refuse fruit things!

Batman: Because I'm a fruit bat.

Robin: Yeah!!

----- [somewhere in the future] ----

Robin (Damain): I'm the son of Batman, I'll drink your blood, Hood.

Red Hood: Nah, B's totally a fruit bat and as the "blood son" that just means you like banana milkshake, sorry demon brat.

Batman: *in the background, accidentaly listens* *happy hm*

Bruce's kids are all agents of chaos in different ways, the poor poor man

Bruce Wayne gets invited to the Ellen show. When he’s supposed to come out from backstage, a bunch of kids come running out instead, fighting to come out first. Damian is being dragged by Jason’s leg. Jason is holding Tim back by the hair. Dick tries to split everyone up. Babs is awkwardly waving at the camera. Steph joins in to try and set Tim free by climbing on to Jason. Cass is already sitting down in the sofa next to Ellen. Duke is silently patting Bruce on the back, still backstage.

The plight of a father of four boys

Batman (shouting, adopting an angry father voice): Why do you constantly make me angry and embarrass me?!

Nightwing looked at his brothers, who wore equally confused expressions. Batman groaned, his frustration evident, as he knew where this was heading.

Nightwing (waving his hands, exasperated): Batman, which one of us are you talking to?! Is it Red Hood?

Red Robin (pointing at the angry man, eager to deflect): It’s Red Hood, right?

Red Hood (denying, arms crossed): No, I don’t embarrass him. I annoy him! So it’s Red Robin, right? Because nobody likes him.

Robin (joining Red Hood's side, smirking): I agree!

Red Robin (spiteful tone, glaring): Oh, no, I know who it is. It’s the unwanted child, isn’t it?!

Robin (innocent, eyes wide): Why would you say that about Nightwing?

Nightwing (confused and defensive): What?!

Red Robin (pointing, voice escalating): No, I was talking about Robin Jr.! He knows I was!

Robin (shouting, angrily): Robin Jr.! Those are fighting words you knock off Timothée Chalamet!

Without warning, Robin pounced onto Red Robin's back, and they both tumbled to the ground in a flurry of limbs. Meanwhile, Nightwing and Red Hood started arguing, their verbal sparring quickly escalating into a physical altercation. Nightwing skillfully gained the upper hand, wrapping his arm around Red Hood’s neck in a headlock.

Batman sighed, feeling defeated, as he and Jim Gordon watched the bickering brothers. Jim couldn’t hide his amusement, much to Batman’s chagrin, a migraine already forming at his temples.

Jim (smirking): Hm, you know, I often forget you have like four or five kids. Which one were you referring to?

Batman (deadpan, rubbing his temples): All of them… All of them.

Jim (nodding, chuckling): Yeah, that tracks. Let them work it out of their system.

Batman (walking away, shaking his head): I usually do.

Jim (intentionally annoying the man): Hey, be thankful one of them isn’t a serial killer.

Batman (groaning, exasperated): Oh my god, it’s not a contest!

I just KNOW the US military hates to see Batman, his kids, his black market aircraft/spacecraft, and his complete willful ignorance of any and all air traffic control regulations coming. That man is a national security nightmare for at least 7 different reasons.

I think there should be more fics about Gothamites talking back to the bats - specifically Batman

“Get inside” “you’re not my dad”

“Stop trying to fight the joker, PLEASE” “fuck you, I do what I want”

“The streets aren’t safe tonight” “bro it’s Thursday, one of chillest days. Please shut the fuck up about telling me about gotham like I wasn’t born here thanks”

Don’t Mess with Tim Drake or his family will deal with you: Kylar

Wayne Manor - a spacious living room filled with elegant furniture. The afternoon sun casts warm shadows across the room.

Dick sat on the couch, a concerned look on his face. Tim sat next to him, visibly distressed and wiping tears from his eyes.

Dick (comforting): It's gonna be okay, Tim.

Tim (voice shaky): I usually can handle it, but… who the hell pours paint thinner on someone’s car?

Suddenly, the front door swung open with a loud bang, startling them. Jason strode in, exuding casual bravado.

Jason (playfully): Hey, assholes, how’s it—

He stopped upon seeing Tim’s tear-streaked face.

Jason (concerned): Why is Tim crying?

Dick (glancing at Tim): Somebody's been picking on him at work for being bi.

Jason’s demeanor shifted instantly, becoming serious.

Jason (intently): What?

Jason pulled out his cell phone.

Tim (sniffling): His name is Kylar. I reported him, but they say there’s no proof. I just have to wait and see what he does next.

A dry chuckle escaped Jason’s lips as he turned the phone towards Tim, displaying a photo of a frat boy type with a smug grin.

Jason (smirking): This him?

Tim (nodding): Y-Yes.

Jason (confidently): Sweet. He lives close by. I’ll be back.

Jason grabs one of Nightwing’s Escrima sticks and exits.

Dick (concerned): Where is he going?

Dick turned to Tim, who was still sobbing.

Dick (comfortingly): I’ll help you feel better.

Twenty minutes pass. Dick and Tim remain on the couch, the mood heavy.

Tim (regretfully): I should’ve never told them who Bernard was. Kylar made a bunch of homophobic jokes...

Dick (reassuring): Tim, it’s not your fault. This guy was always like that. He’s disgusting.

Tim (sighing): I’m sick of dealing with it.

Dick (calmly): Just tell Dad what happened.

Tim (defiantly): I can handle this on my own.

Dick (jokingly): What about giving him one quick bop on the face?

Tim (laughing softly): Violence isn’t going to help. I’d look bad.

Their conversation is interrupted by the front door slamming open again.

Dick (frustrated): Jason, seriously?

Jason returns, dragging a beaten Kylar into the room. Tim's eyes widen in shock.

Jason (excitedly): Timmy, I got a present for ya!

Kylar looks battered, with a black eye and bruises.

Jason (commandingly): Apologize.

Kylar (trembling): I’m sorry for what I said at work.

Jason (twisting Kylar’s arm): And?

Kylar (gasping): I’ll pay for the damages to your car!

Jason (menacingly): And you won’t bother him at work again, or I will ‘accidentally’ hit you with my car.

Kylar (defeated): Yes! Just let me go home!

Jason releases Kylar, who stumbles out, tears streaming down his face. He laughs as Kylar leaves.

Jason (turning to Tim): You good?

Tim (smiling despite the situation): Um... yes, actually.

Jason patted Tim on back then left.

Jason (over his shoulder): I’m ‘borrowing’ Bruce’s car for the day. Bye!

Dick turned to Tim.

Dick (apologetically): I’m sorry he did that—

Tim (smiling): On second thought… I’m glad he did something crazy this time.

Dick (chuckling): What happened to no violence?

Tim (light-heartedly): He’s more intimidating than both of us. Kylar got the message.

Dick (smiling): If he messes with you again, don’t worry—we’ve got your back.

Tim (softening): I appreciate that a lot.

The brothers shared a moment of laughter, the strength of their bond evident in the warmth of the living room.

Jim Gordon was only on duty during a storm, only to see a familar scene..

He was tracking down two shady people in that slipped into Crime Alley, only to lose them a bit, trying to gained speed on where they went, he turned to the alley except he heard a familar sound coming from a certain alley.

A little boy. Black hair, blue eyes, sobbing in the middle of a dirty floor. He was wearing a overgrown suit that look like it was made for a celebration.

Jim check his watch to see the date, April 28.

The Day that Thomas and Martha was gunned down in this very alley..

Gordon thought it was Bruce's innerchild spirit that die on this day. He walk up to the poor spirit and crouch down and give him a hug.

The boy was iced cold, tiny hands clinging onto his trenchcoat. Whispering heartfelt words that encourage Bruce's inner child unless in the past.

He has seen how Bruce today has grown up into the man he is, surrounded by children with similar situations and be the Justice of the night.

He didn't know how long he hugged the crying spirit, before he noticed the boy had stop crying, seamingly disappeared from his arms.

He hoped that it did the child in Bruce's heart justice in his mind..

As he got up, and walked out of that alley..

Unaware that the white ghost boy is floating about, following him intangible as he rubbed his red eyes, with a silent sniff.

Official one shot story made here<-

ic: @batfam-stuff-posts-0

based on this post :))