Batman: Crime is abnormaly quiet today, one more round and we should go home, chum.
Robin (Jason): A-Okay. I may even have time to read a bit before going to bed.
Batman: I'll think about it.
Robin: We could go to Bat Burguer! Di-Nightwing said they have an amazing chocolate milkshake.
Batman: I don't know, Robin...
Robin: I'm sure they have banana milkshake as well or something fruity.
Batman: Hm
Robin: I knew it!
Batman: Hm??
Robin: You are a fruit bat.
Batman: what?
Robin: I was reading a book about animals and they say that of the 1200 known species of bats only three are vampire bats. You are too normal to be a vampire bat. Also vampire bats are smaller and you are very big and vampire bats move solo and while you like to prented to be moody and lonley you have me, Agent A, Batgirl and Nightwing and that just in Gotham. So you are a fruit bat. And you love fruity things.
Batman: *smilling* I suppose.
Robin: And that means we are going to drink the milkshakes because you can't refuse fruit things!
Batman: Because I'm a fruit bat.
Robin: Yeah!!
----- [somewhere in the future] ----
Robin (Damain): I'm the son of Batman, I'll drink your blood, Hood.
Red Hood: Nah, B's totally a fruit bat and as the "blood son" that just means you like banana milkshake, sorry demon brat.
Batman: *in the background, accidentaly listens* *happy hm*
Httyd 2 Toothless was SASSY. Oh if only he could talk-
Also yes this is that trend from tw.
I don't think Tim would kill the Joker, not even after Joker Junior.
I do, however, think he could manipulate someone else into it and retain the moral high ground, instead. After all, if someone else does it and he doesn't directly tell then to- well that was their decision, and he need not worry.
Tim, to Shiva: yeah but loads of people have defeated The Bat at this point. Just look at the Joker. I mean, Joker's basically unkillable. There's not a single assassin or vigilante or hero that could kill him. He just keeps on living and causing chaos.
Shiva: I cluld
Tim: no, no you really can't. But it's OK! Lots of people can't! It would take only the best to kill Joker. I mean sure, a LoA member might be able to...
Shiva: I will.
Tim, shrugging: whatever! You can do what you want but don't say I didn't warn you...
A week later, Joker's dead and Tim is biting back a grin as Bruce glares at them all.
Bruce: "Alright, who did it?"
Nightwing: you need to face it, B, it wasn't any of us.
Bruce, glaring at Tim: the wounds looked similar to that of a bo staff-
Tim, rolling his eyes: I was busy at Joker's ToD. Besides. I'm the best, but not the only bo staff user in the world. Lady Shiva rivals me as well- could have been her.
Bruce, scowl deepenign: and how exactly do you know Joker's ToD?
Tim points at the screen, wordlessly. The phrase "Time of Death: 22:19" were written in bold.
Bruce grimaced. : and what exactly where you doing? I don't believe you were with us which gives you no alabi-
Tim: I was with Bernard.
Bruce: doing what?
Tim: Bernard.
Steph snorts in response.
Steph: let it go, B. Clearly it wasn't any of us. Maybe some assassin with a grudge took him out- honestly, we should be celebrating!
Jason cheers in the background and starts grabbing the most expensive bottles from Bruce's alcohol collection.
I know it's not really canon bc Alfred is seemingly ageless, but I like the idea that he was like 30-ish when Bruce was orphaned. Like Martha Wayne was like 20 when she had Bruce and 28 when she died with Thomas being 23 at Bruce's birth and 31 at the time of the shooting, while the butler they hired was around their age too (Alfred x Martha x Thomas rights), but Bruce never realized bc Alfred goes gray early and is, again, ageless. So, he is like panicking at 21 having acquired a nine year old and he's like 34 when Damian comes in his life and by the time the batfam has settled he's nearly forty and he asks Alfred how the fuck he kept up with him before he calmed down a bit as a teen bc he had a purpose and then fucked off to go train and Alfred just goes "I was ten years younger than you're now, sir, I also don't know how you do it. Have you looked into the Batman retirement plans more?" and it's only then that Bruce learns Alfred also had not fucking clue what he was doing and was pretty young (though way more reasonable than Bruce with Dick's adoption) to have a whole ass child as a responsiblity. Just the idea that they're closer in age tickles me
There is no way Anakin is THIS dumb
This is just a goof bc I’m still thinking about sith obi wan just wearing the worst disguise ever while being the chancellor of the Republic and still no one knows that it’s a sith who’s in charge of the senate
toothless has a large amount of human characteristics thanks to hiccup .like how he tried to draw the lightfury and has made it a habit to smile after learning how to from hiccup and has his own funny way of laughing .theres more but its 4 am rn and im tireddddd
extra: i like to think hiccup has some dragon like characteristics thanks to being around toothless exclusively for so long (whenever he was training him and when the main group started getting jobs and such)
my duolingo streak is almost to 365 days who cheered
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Tim casually dropping bits of his traumatizing childhood lore on Red Hood(he knows its Jason, but Jason doesn’t know that yet)
but plays it off/alludes to it being Bruce and Dick that are treating him this way. And Jason believes him bc Tim sneaks off to see Jason all the time- which obvi makes the two of them very panicked when they realize he’s with the fucking Red Hood and thats their baby boy, which leads to get-your-ass-over-here-i-was-so-worried-you're-grounded yanks from bruce/dick, and that makes Jason think they’re like… awful+ he has pit madness so he’s not thinking straight and remembering the good parts of living with bruce and how he would never but anyway-
this eventually leads to Jason marching into the cave on Tim’s behalf… only to find, Bruce and Dick actually adore???? This tiny gremlin child??? Would literally die for him??? Are sooooooo fucking happy to learn its Jason, are like, really welcoming??? Love him??? Mourned him?????
And Jason is looking at Tim in confusion, and Tim is in the corner with his tablet and goes “haha. Nice. Horrified you back into the family, uwu”
Anyway Tim is a chaos gremlin who deserves to force jason back into the family by making him truly horrified and want to raise tim on his own, which tim is not willing to do, so instead he has to co-parent him with bruce, which leads to reconciliation etc etc…
Okay. New thought. Hear me out.
Jason with motorcycle.
Jason, motorcycle AND 'white girl' music.
A little like this:
Goon 1: Hurry up guys! We don' want boss waitn' to long!
Goon 5: Uh.. hey lads? What's that music? I ain't never hear California gurls playin' down h're.
Goon 1: ...
The sound of a motorcycles engine becomes louder, as well as the very noticable and very known lyrics of California gurls as well as a distinct voice singing it.
Goon 2: SHIT SHIT DUCK DOWN
All of the goon scramble to duck down and hide.
Goon 5: What? What is it? The goon whispers
As the sound becomes louder and louder, the engine of the motorcycle pauses for a while but soon continues on. The goons all let out a heavy breath, that was a close one.
Goon 6: Oh thank the Lord. I thought he found us for a second..
Jason standing like right behind them whispers into one of the goons ears: California girls-
And that's why if you hear California gurls playing in Gotham, you should run because it's the Red hood.
Now. You must be wondering, if Jason is with the goons.. where is the motorcycle? Well let's just say Tim had a fun time scaring the shit out of people.