Damian: I Check Out Of School To Go Volunteer At The Hospital

#IsBruceWayneBatman: a social media au | Part I

I think there should be more fics about Gothamites talking back to the bats - specifically Batman

“Get inside” “you’re not my dad”

“Stop trying to fight the joker, PLEASE” “fuck you, I do what I want”

“The streets aren’t safe tonight” “bro it’s Thursday, one of chillest days. Please shut the fuck up about telling me about gotham like I wasn’t born here thanks”

At Wayne mannor

Alfred: Morning everyone I have an announcement.

Bruce: Everything alright Alfred?

Alfred: Yes, I have invited the Kents to dinner in two days time.

Bruce: What...

Alfred: I expect everyone to be on their best behavior.

Tim: When you say the Kents who do you mean?

Alfred: All of them, Jonathan, Martha, Clark, Lois, Kon, Jon, Kara, Otho, and Osul.

Cassandra: How many people will be in attendance.

Alfred: 24 people in total. For our part everyone WILL attend, no excuses. That means myself, Bruce, Dick, Jason, Danny, Tim, Duke, Stephane, Barbara, Harper, Cassandra, Luke, Kate, and Damian.

Jason: This is going to be fun.

Damian: I bet $20 the house burns down by the end of the night.

Danny: I'll take you up on that.

Meanwhile at the Kent farm

Martha: Morning everyone, last night I was talking with Alfred and we've been invited to dinner at the Waynes in two days. We will all be going, no buts.

Jonathan: We expect everyone to behave.

Kon: At least one person will end up in the hospital.

Kara: I think it'll be fun.

Clark: It'll be fun to see Bruce, it's been a while since we've seen each other as civilians.

Martha: Good, now let's enjoy breakfast, there are chores to be done, and they're not going to do themselves.

Part: 13, (all parts)

This would 100% happen

CW: so much angst but it’s mainly for villains

Tim had Ana hunt with Bruce who tells him that he’s too young to understand how the world really works, with Jason adding sneakily that he’s also a rich boy who’s never struggled before.

Naturally, Tim takes this as a challenge and decides to help and/or ‘fix’ every villains that he thinks he realistically can.

He goes big straight away with Harley Quinn. He goes to her and pretends to be asking for advice on a friend who’s in an abusive relationship, saying no one else seems to be understanding eh situation but as a score she might. He smoothly describes her and Joker and lets her rant for almost two hours before pulling the rug form under her and saying that Jason forgives his ‘friend’ for him dying by her boyfriend because he knows she was hurt just as bad when she tried to save him.

Harley takes another two months to leave the Joker and places herself in Arkham to contour her role as a doctor for her fellow maniacs.

It takes the help of several doctors but he finds the cure for Freezes wife and hands it over while telling the man that his wife probably won’t forgive him for his various murders.

Freeze understands, saves his wife anyway and accepts her request for a divorce willing, just as long as she stays alive.

He gets Arnold Wesker a real doctor who can better treat his Dissociative Identity Disorder and helps him keep Scarface out of the front by playing along as if rhetorical puppet is real and under heavy custody.

Arnold starts to live for more moments of peace than he has in years, even if there are still some really bad days.

With Poison Ivy he doesn’t actually do anything as Robin, but instead goes to her as Tim Drake and asks for her guidance on how to make his medical company and by association Wayne Industries completely eco friendly and even help to stop climate change. Tim Drake was already borderline political, he might as well lead the charge on action for climate. He does say that if Ivy does any more large scale and fatal attacks he will stop everything, which she agrees to after a week of though with her plants council.

Pamala cries for hours when she sees Tim’s plan to de-plant the entirety of a forest that she had once tried to save.

Tim doesn’t tell his family about any of this until he asks them to visit him in his city office about a gala he wants to hold, his very first, and they find Pamala and Harley helping with decoration plans and Victor and Arnold discussing how their therapy has been going together.

Bruce nearly had a heart attack.

Tim, making chicken and dumpling soup, dropping a dumpling on the floor: This is sadder than the time I lost my spleen.

Bruce, choking on his coffee: Excuse me?

This is 100% smth Jason would do SPECIFICALLY to fuck with Tim

Jason: *icing cake he baked* Tim: oh, cool. Can I take a picture? That’s really pretty. Jason: uh, sure? Why? Tim: to post it on insta. Jason: *stops icing cake* what’s insta? Tim: Tim: *look of slowly dawning horror* you died. Oh my god you died— Jason: *muttering* I thought we already acknowledged that. You know, quite explosively acknowledged it Tim: *completely speaking over him* DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT A SNAPCHAT IS? FUCK— Jason: dude you’re hyperventilating

Oh you KNOW swapped!Soundwave lets his kids get away with ANYTHINGGG nobody's safe 🙏

oh yes he does

AU where Jason, Cass and Damian meet in the League and cause so much chaos that a burnt out Ra's just dropped them with a note

"Two of them are yours the third one is free"

And Bruce rolls with it

small httyd animation i made for class! (with sfx)