I feel like the general energy of the Batfam is as follows.
Batman: don’t do anything stupid.
His five hundred children: *do stupid things instantly*
Fashion meme with the Batfam
Local psychology major takes one look at loser Viking from 1300 years ago and clocks him instantly
(Inspired by this post of @itsybitsybatsyspider ‘s, ty for letting me yoink it, bestie <3)
( anyways you should totally go read Of Ghost Tales and Dragon Scales on ao3)
Batman being aggressively secretive towards the Justice League is one of my favorite tropes, but it gets INFINITELY funnier when you take the younger generations of heroes into consideration.
Barry Allen? He doesn't know shit about Batman, still partially convinced he's not human, still a little bit scared to talk to him. But Wally West? That's Nightwing's best friend. He's been around Dick since both of them were kids. He's had sleepovers at the manor since he was thirteen.
I just think it would be hilarious if all of the younger generations 100% know that Batman is Bruce Wayne. They've slept at the manor, some of them have taken various Batkids to school dances, they've been offered Alfred's cooking. And all because they've gotten close to at least one Batkid and said Batkid wore Bruce down until he let them reveal their identity. But all of them manage to keep this information from their mentors. Either purposefully or completely on accident.
Then you end up with a situation where the younger generations grow up and join the League and the older members Very Quickly realize that they seem a lot more comfortable with Batman than they should be.
No because if I was Viggo I’d ALSO be fucking pissed off?? Like you’re this mastermind dragon hunter that is running possibly the largest operation in the entire of the archipelago that is family owned and ran with your older brother with hundreds upon hundreds upon hundreds of henchmen to do your dirty work and whenever people even MENTION your name they get scared and you’re this big strong powerful dude in his like mid forties but then a group of mother fucking barely adult stupid ass kids show up and successfully threaten your entire business model? Everything was fine yesterday but then this gaggle of incompetent fools show up with their stupid reptiles and suddenly you’re in a war??? AND the fucking malnourished stick insect of a leader they have has the AUDACITY to steal an ancient relic off of one of your predecessors ships??? AND THEN THEY BLOW UP YOUR ONLY MODE OF LONG FORM TRANSPORTATION??? AND THEN THEY RELEASE A BUNCH OF YOUR STOCK AND SINK THOUSANDS AND THOUSANDS OF YOUR PROFITS BY SAVING THE DRAGONS YOU CAPTURED??? WHAT??? MOTHER FUCKER HAD EVERY SINGLE RIGHT TO START A WAR. HICCUP AND HIS STUPID ASS FRIENDS SHOWING UP AND JUST TANKING YOUR WHOLE ASS LIFE??? IMAGINE BEING A FUCKING KING PIN CRIMINAL EXPERT IN DRAGON TRADING AND YOU LOSE AN ENTIRE WAR TO A GLORIFIED WALKING EMBODIMENT OF AWKWARDNESS AND HIS 5 WEIRD LITTLE CREATURES HE TAKES AROUND WITH HIM. IMAGINE HAVING TO SIT THERE IN YOUR COOL ASS DRAGON HUNTER EVIL LAIRE AND PLAN HOW YOU WERE GONNA FIGHT OFF THE LITTLE RUNT OF BERK HEIR GUY THAT WON’T GIVE UP. IMAGINE?? FUCKING IMAGINE????
WHO WOULD NOT BE PISSED??? THAT MAN HAD A VERY EXTREMELY RATIONAL REACTION BECAUSE THAT WAS LITERALLY THE FOUNDATION OF HIS LIFE??? HIS ENTIRE CAREER GOT NOT JUST ENDED BUT FORCEFULLY FUCKING SLAMMED INTO A WALL OF CONCRETE AND CURB STOMPED BY A FUCKING STEAM ROLLER RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM. I mean sure yeah he put up the biggest fight of the century and did his whole ‘I’m gonna mess with your head until you go insane and just fuck off and leave me alone you stupid little annoying boy get a life,’ thing BUT STILL HICCUP WON THAT WAR AND THE AGE OF 18. EIGHT GOD DAMN TEEN.
Commisionier Gordon lights up the Batsignal, a long night awaits him and the big black bat.
As usual, a precence quickly appears behind him: Are you sure you are Batman ?
A boy almost tripping over his cape and his helmet nearly falling off his head says: Yes I'm my father.
-Bat chat-
Red Robin: "good argument, but have you considered the following?"
RR: *sends cat video by mistake*
Red Hood: "what does that have to do with anything?"
Robin: "no no, he's got a point"
Oracle: "he got you there, Jay"
RH: "this is a private chat"
O: "yeah, on my servers"
RR: "???"
Dick: Damian, why are you so thoughtful?
Damian: thinking about how to get revenge on Todd.
Dick [frowning]: for what?
Damian: the bastard gave me a parrot...
Dick: but that's great! I thought you liked animals!
Damian: yes, but he first taught this parrot to say, “Help, I've been turned into a parrot”
[GET REVENGE ON JASON]
Damian would feel so betrayed
Damian: Todd prepare. I’m going to kill you!
Jason: you can try but it probably won’t stick!
Bruce: what is this about?
Jason: I sent baby pictures of knife child to the robins group chat.
Damian: WHY DO YOU EVEN HAVE THOSE TODD?!?
Jason: If I wanted something I would bribe Talia with them.
Damian: what? LIES! NEITHER OF MY PARENTS WOULD STOOP TO SUCH A LEVEL RIGHT FATHER?
Bruce: …
Damian: father?
Bruce:… how much?
Damian: FATHER?!?
Bruce: name your price!
Damian: NO!
previous one went stratospheric so this came about lmao??
I headcanon that babs is a hardcore Bruce supporter. Like she knows he’s emotionally constipated and dumb but like… he’s her asshole idiot. Like she throws a phone at dick and goes “call him.” Or she punches Jason so hard he has to sit down when he tries to say some rude shit about how Bruce never loved him. Like idk just babs and Bruce. (NOT ROMANTICALLY)