Very Seriously Doubt I Will Actually Make A Fic Out Of This But The DP X DC Stuff Has Been Rotating In

The justice league sees Batman periodically updating a database of his, at the oddest of times, and naturally they think it's got something to do with his contingency plans or a dataset about the Gotham rogues, but in reality it's just him keeping record of his many children's changing tastes

Superman: Woah, he's writing down with such concentration, wonder what could be in there, maybe a new villain in Gotham?

Bruce, writing: "Dick has refused his favourite Pb&J five mornings in a row. Delete from favourites. Ask for new favourite food."

"Jason didn't seem as Eager to read the new book by his favourite author, put it in neutral category."

"Tim chose a green shirt instead of a red one at the mall today. More research needed."

"Cass listened to arctic monkeys on repeat this week. Update to favourites."

"Duke expressed an interest in slam poetry and called band practice lame. Put poetry in favourites and band in neutral."

"Damian watched Bluey for a total of 50 hours this week. Update to favourites."

Jason: Hey, how did my phone break?

Dick: You were drunk yesterday.

Jason: And?

Dick: You threw it.

Jason: Why?

Dick: You turned on airplane mode and kept screaming, “FLY, DAMN YOU!”

Jason: And why didn’t you stop me?!

Dick: I was too busy laughing my ass off. Plus, remember that time I was really drunk, and instead of taking me to the bathroom, you threw me in bed? I woke up having wet myself!

Jason: Yeah— to be fair, you were going to piss yourself regardless. There’s no way you could hold your Richard.

Dick: Stop calling it that!

Jason: Stop going by Dick.

Fun BatThought of The Day

Because Bruce sometimes reverts to ‘Caveman Mode’ and really only the Batfam speaks fluent ‘monotone Batman grunt’ sometimes they like to overreact or exaggerate just to see if Bruce will correct them.

—

At JL meeting: *Green Lantern says something about a report*

Batman: Hn

Robin!Dick: Woah, B! Don’t use that kind of language! Relax, I’m sure GL didn’t mean it!

Hal: What, what’s happening, What’d he say? What’d I say?

Batman: Hn

Robin: *scandalized* BATMAN!

—

Texts From Superheroes

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I just know Gordon internally dies every time someone in the bullpen has some gossip magazine with Batman's highly distinct jawline splashed across a cover or spread.

Detective Comics Annual #3 - “Chaos Theory”

written by Brian Buccallato art by Werther Dell’Edera, Jorge Fornes, & Scott Hepburn

Bruce, visibly overwhelmed by Emotions as he watches a ten-year-old Dick goofing around in the batcave: Alfred. Alfred I think I'd die if something happened to him

Alfred: *carefully doesn't say that he thought the same thing when Martha and Thomas placed a newborn Bruce in his arms for the first time because he knows that'll completely destroy the little emotional bandwidth Bruce has*

Gordon: "You busted up this warehouse because?"

Jaybin: "As you can see, it's a facility for illegal processing--"

Criminal: "Nuh-uh. You can't prove that's not baby aspirin."

Nightwing: *licks it off glove* "Oh."

Gordon:

Criminal, smugly: "What's the matter? Headache go away?"

Gordon: "Give me some of that stuff, mine's just starting."

Hehehe 😊😘