Dragonboygobrrrrr - Untitled

No because if I was Viggo I’d ALSO be fucking pissed off?? Like you’re this mastermind dragon hunter that is running possibly the largest operation in the entire of the archipelago that is family owned and ran with your older brother with hundreds upon hundreds upon hundreds of henchmen to do your dirty work and whenever people even MENTION your name they get scared and you’re this big strong powerful dude in his like mid forties but then a group of mother fucking barely adult stupid ass kids show up and successfully threaten your entire business model? Everything was fine yesterday but then this gaggle of incompetent fools show up with their stupid reptiles and suddenly you’re in a war??? AND the fucking malnourished stick insect of a leader they have has the AUDACITY to steal an ancient relic off of one of your predecessors ships??? AND THEN THEY BLOW UP YOUR ONLY MODE OF LONG FORM TRANSPORTATION??? AND THEN THEY RELEASE A BUNCH OF YOUR STOCK AND SINK THOUSANDS AND THOUSANDS OF YOUR PROFITS BY SAVING THE DRAGONS YOU CAPTURED??? WHAT??? MOTHER FUCKER HAD EVERY SINGLE RIGHT TO START A WAR. HICCUP AND HIS STUPID ASS FRIENDS SHOWING UP AND JUST TANKING YOUR WHOLE ASS LIFE??? IMAGINE BEING A FUCKING KING PIN CRIMINAL EXPERT IN DRAGON TRADING AND YOU LOSE AN ENTIRE WAR TO A GLORIFIED WALKING EMBODIMENT OF AWKWARDNESS AND HIS 5 WEIRD LITTLE CREATURES HE TAKES AROUND WITH HIM. IMAGINE HAVING TO SIT THERE IN YOUR COOL ASS DRAGON HUNTER EVIL LAIRE AND PLAN HOW YOU WERE GONNA FIGHT OFF THE LITTLE RUNT OF BERK HEIR GUY THAT WON’T GIVE UP. IMAGINE?? FUCKING IMAGINE????

WHO WOULD NOT BE PISSED??? THAT MAN HAD A VERY EXTREMELY RATIONAL REACTION BECAUSE THAT WAS LITERALLY THE FOUNDATION OF HIS LIFE??? HIS ENTIRE CAREER GOT NOT JUST ENDED BUT FORCEFULLY FUCKING SLAMMED INTO A WALL OF CONCRETE AND CURB STOMPED BY A FUCKING STEAM ROLLER RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM. I mean sure yeah he put up the biggest fight of the century and did his whole ‘I’m gonna mess with your head until you go insane and just fuck off and leave me alone you stupid little annoying boy get a life,’ thing BUT STILL HICCUP WON THAT WAR AND THE AGE OF 18. EIGHT GOD DAMN TEEN.

Batman: "Suspect's headed down eighth street. I'll let you know when we have him"

Gordon: "Wait, if you're here, who's in pursuit of the suspect?"

Batman, getting out his grapple gun: "Robin."

Gordon, having heart palpitations. "The eight year old?? Can he even look over the dash?" *realizes Batman's gone* "All units be advised, clear the road for the Batmobile."

Dispatch: "No need for that, Batmobile hasn't left anything to clear."

Gordon: *downs BP meds* "10-4."

I wonder what the batfam's reactions would be if the joker escapes wherever they sent him to, finds Tim on patrol and was like "Long time no see JJ," and then going on about how he should come home with him back to arkham and he'll help him "recover" and are trying to get to Tim's location as fast as they can while listening in on comms?

This was actually a scenario I thought of the day I found out about JJ. I feel like after what happened, Tim would do the opposite of what Jason would and has done. Instead of going to find the Joker, he would stay as far away from him or even his goons as possible. It would be like the third Robin and the Joker had no history, nothing to tie them together(which probably made Jason angry at some point).

So when he breaks out of Arkham(AGAIN, jesus), Tim, Babs, and Bruce don’t waste a minute before bringing up that Tim has another case he has to work on that is of the “upmost importance”. It’s actually just a 12 year old homicide cold case that he solved a month ago but no one has to know that. Jim knows to sweep that under the rug when RR comes by with the same exact evidence he came with a month ago.

But Lady Luck has never been on Tim’s side. The rest of the bats quickly lose track of the Joker. Babs manages to find him, but by that point, it’s too late.

Joker finds him. And he recognizes him. Underneath the new name, costume, and styled hair, Joker finds his “son”.

As you can imagine, he’s over the moon. But he’s also just as angry.

“Junior! You don’t call, you don’t text, you don’t send out an email. What’s a pop got to do to get their son to notice them?”

“I’m not your son.”

“Not with that hair you’re not. Your skin’s not how I left it at all! And what happened to that beautiful smile of yours? Did the bat ruin that too?”

Tim doesn’t take jabs about his smile well. This is why. And it gets under his skin that even after using so much foundation and concealer, the Joker can still see the remnants of smile lines along his cheeks.

“You’ve been avoiding me, Junior. You know papa doesn’t like being ignored.“

“You’re not my dad.”

“Ha! Who is then? Certainly not the old bat. Anyhow, this isn’t about him. It’s been so long, kiddo. Why don’t we stop by the old warehouse and have a chat. Maybe even pick up Mama while we’re at it.”

“Harley would rather die than go with you, and I’m not following you anywhere. Batman already has your location.”

That brushes the smile off the freak’s face. The expression he has on now is sickly reminiscent of how he was when he, Tim, and Harley played family years ago. It’s not a look he gives to other people. No one else has seen it, so they might think Tim a liar. But he can’t deny the parental disappointment in the man’s eyes.

“I know they don’t know.”

Now that. That really gets to him.

“None of your business.”

“It it, but you’re welcome to deny it. I believe it’s just the old bat, the beat up cop, and Ms. Gordon, correct? Not even the first Robin! Ha! I wonder what the second bird would think. Not to mention the girls! Oh! And we can’t forget about little old Signal.”

Tim doesn’t need him to tell him. He’s gone over the scenario so many times it drives him mad. What each of them would say. What he could do to make them think differently. What he would have to do if they found out. Where he could run to. It never gets easier.

Joker is trying to scare him. That’s the only conclusion he definitively has. And aside from his general psychotic tendencies, he genuinely believes he and Tim are family.

By the time Batman arrives with the GCPD, the Joker is tied and ready for extraction. But the villain’s smile is no less fear-inducing.

“You know I’m right, my boy,” he says as he’s take into the back of a truck.

“They’ll never look at you the same way again.”

It’s only when everything is over that Tim takes the time to look over his gear that he finds his mistake. One that the Joker knew about. One that he exploited.

When he shut off the comms, he didn’t shut them off. In his delirium over his past, instead of closing them off, he muted them. While he couldn’t hear any of their chatter, they definitely heard his. And he didn’t send Babs his acceptance to shut his comms off, something she couldn’t do without express permission.

So when he unmuted the comms, you can only imagine what he heard.

I would like to expand on the joker junior idea. Imagine Batman going to arkham to interrogate Joker for another case, leading to him getting beaten by bats while laughing about how he not only failed Jason but Tim as well. Laughing about how he tortured him, revealing his identity, how easy it was to break him. Batman then threatening to end him and joker replied with "Oh Batsy, if you truly were capable of doing it then Junoir wouldn't have needed to shoot me".

While that was happening everyone except was listening in the whole time and are seething about everything they heard until Tim put his ear piece back on that he took off before Batman started his interrogation because he knows it will get them nowhere so he tries to find a new lead (not because the very sound of Joker's laughter sends him back to when he was screaming as he was getting electrocuted and injected with joker venom that ridiculous he's fine) and told Bruce that he found another lead, getting him to stop pummeling Joker and leaving while he was left there laughing.

Sorry if this is all over the place it was something I came up with after reading your posts. Keep up the good work!

Thank you so much for this!

God that would honestly be mortifying for everyone involved(except the Joker obvi). All the kids are expecting him to taunt Bruce about Jason, and he does. He teases him on how he couldn’t get there in time and how his son still blamed him. Which, sure, Jason has his own gripes with his death, but the Joker is the person who he is LEAST okay with saying this.

But then things take a turn. The Joker starts talking about his SON, and since when did the Joker have a son? He calls him Junior. Teases the Bat that he was too late in saving him, and his boy would ALWAYS be a part of your little Red Ro—

Holy fucking shit.

Nightwing is screaming now. He demands that Batman tell them what the Joker meant. Why hadn’t he been told? What happened to Tim? Why did the Joker know him so well?

Jason is close to having a panic attack, because not only is the one person who scares him anymore on the loose, but he did the same to Tim. To his little brother. To someone who he’s grown close with over the years. Who definitely had a rocky relationship with him. Who talked with him despite that and worked with him despite that. To hear that that very same little brother had been attacked the same way he had, and worse, is more than enough to send the Red Hood on a rampage. The Joker isn’t escaping again, that’s for sure.

Cass is not one to make her presence known. She knows how to keep quiet. How to wait for the right time to strike, but she’s on the Joker in the next possible minute. Even Batman steps back and watches as she beats the person who hurt her brother into the ground. Batman doesn’t know whether to cheer her on, or tell her to stop.

Spoiler is the only one with Tim, and she can’t help but just stare. She doesn’t speak, she doesn’t yell or cry or accuse him of keeping such a heavy secret, she just looks at him. Not with pity, but with the sinking realization that no one knew. Not even her.

Damian wasn’t allowed to leave the cave. He’s sitting by the Batcomputer with Alfred behind him. While he and Drake didn’t have the closest relationship, it’s been some time since he truly thought of him as anything but his brother. He learned from him frequently, how to handle a specific gadget, how to deal with the Batman when his temper flared(slightly, he’s not an asshole anymore Dami(WHAT DO YOU MEAN ANYMORE??)). To hear about this horrifying experience and not be able to comfort Drake made him squirm in his seat.

He’s even more surprised when Pennyworth doesn’t give a single indication that he knows. Nightwing demands that Agent A tell them why he hid this from them. Everyone is shocked when he tells them he is just as clueless.

This is all background noise to Red Robin, because he just got a lead on where the Joker’s goons could be. He doesn’t pay attention to anyone’s words, instead telling Batman that he has a lead and to meet him at a location.

When all this is over and the Joker is back in custody, all Commissioner Gordon can do is pat Tim on the back and tell him to go the fuck home and sleep.

When all this is over, Babs locks up the Clocktower because she’s not dealing with this shit til she’s had her morning coffee.

Starting to think a cooler headcanon for Clark’s upbringing might just be that the entire town of Smallville collectively decided to just go with it and accept that Martha and John's kid has superpowers, but we don't talk about it.

Someone's tractor gets stuck and nothing can get it out? "Be a dear and run down to the Kents, would you? Ask for Clark?"

"Why Clark, we need a machine--"

"Run along now."

Or if he kicks too hard and the football vanishes into the upper stratosphere, no it didn't, we all collectively saw it land over there *vague hand movements*

Dick 9 times out of 10 failing to hide a severe injury from the rest of the batfam because without fail when he’s tired or drugged or generally not firing on all cylinders his native accent comes out as thick as the day he met Bruce.

- - -

Bruce: Dick come down for a check up I saw you take that hit for Tim.

Dick, halfway towards the cave exit and still going, in the quietest voice possible: im fine

Bruce: Say squirrel and you can leave.

Dick:

Bruce:

Jason:

Tim:

Damien:

Dick: …skweeerrehl.

Jason: Get him boys.

Headcanon that the bats are the only people in Gotham who don’t know about Joker Junior.

The only people who know JJ’s identity are Bruce, Barbara, Jim Gordon, Joker himself, and Harley Quinn. Tim made Bruce promise not to tell Dick, and that continued when Jason came back, with him not wanting to be one of the older man’s triggers. The trend followed with Duke, Cass, Steph, and Damian, with him being more and more certain that if he told them, they would hate him.

Nothing lasts forever, though, and the batkids soon notice how differently Gotham treats Red Robin.

Rogues like Riddler, Harley, and Poison Ivy refrain from hurting him too much. Seasoned thugs quickly take away any electrocution devices from the newer ones, stating that “we don’t electrocute Red Robin”. When it comes to RR, Gotham’s citizens can get very peeved with the Bat.

The kids also notice the odd closeness between Jim, Babs, and Tim. Hell, there are times where they invite the older man to dinner and he goes off to whisper with Tim. The one time someone tried to subtly follow them, Babs stopped them in their tracks.

Everything comes to ahead when Dick goes deep into the bat computer archives for a case he assumes is tied to another. And lo and behold, he finds something titled Junior. He assumes that this is about a child villain and is curious, as the date tells him this happened while he was off in Bludhaven so many years ago.

It’s not.

He calls in the other bats(Tim is somewhere else) and they read through the files and watch the videos. God, the videos.

Dick is angry. Him and his siblings are fuming. Everything comes together and makes so much sense.

How some Gotham citizens treat RR differently. How Jim Gordon always makes sure RR is okay. How Babs knows how to calm Tim down better than anyone else. How Bruce always looks so guilty when he looks at Tim, a scarily similar look as the one he gives to Jason.

Their brother had been keepinh this secret for years, probably because he didn’t want them to hate them(Jason shakes his head furiously. “Stupid kid”.)

When Tim comes home, lo and behold with Babs, he immediately clocks onto their thoughts and makes a break for it. Babs blocks the door for everyone else. She says nothing.

Thats as far as I got.

The batkids do not have a mother to find items for them that they themselves cannot find, so they find the closest replacement at the moment

Bruce:… Tim why is Harley Quinn eating cinnamon rolls in our kitchen Tim: *typing on his phone* oh I couldn’t find my headphones Bruce:… what does that even mean ~ Bruce: *walks into living room*… hello Selina Selina: *watching cartoons with Jason’s head in her lap* oh hey baby! Bruce: w- why are you- not that I’m not happy to see you but why are you here? Selina: kitten needed help finding his helmet.  Jason: *lifts helmet* we found it Bruce:… *walks back out of the living room* ~ Bruce: *staring at Talia* Talia: Hello beloved.  Bruce: … wha- why- how??? Damian: forgive me father but I needed to find my favorite dagger for show and tell tomorrow Bruce:… first of all no- ~ Bruce: *walking into Dicks room* hey Ivy- wait Ivy: oh hey bats! Believe me I don’t want to be here either but baby robin needed help finding his old suit Dick: *lifting his discowing outfit* we found it Bruce:… Ivy I will fund all of your plant experiments if you swear to never find that thing again-

Jason would def do this just to be petty

jason comes back to gotham as red hood and the batfam have no idea who he is or that he has anything to do with the league of assasins until during a wayne gala theres a hostage situation and before bruce or anyone can figure out a way to go suit up a crime lord appears and saves everybody only to have a publically friendly catch up session with.... damian wayne.

damian covers to the press afterwards that its because of red hoods 'i dont hurt kids' rule and that he'd met the guy a few times in crime alley before he was dumped on bruce's doorstep. gotham's citizens are slightly concerned but honestly? the scary stabby child that's been glaring at them from the corners of parties since he got here with absolutely no backstory or history in gotham turning out to have a past with crime alleys most infamous protector/crime boss? it's a little comforting.

it's less comforting to the bats.

damian, getting out the car after the gala: I don't know what hood was thinking, making me his public ally. he's lucky the simpletons of this city bought that, don't you agree father?

damian: *turns to see the rest of the family staring at him with hard eyes*

damian:

damian: ...what did i do?

everybody's less than pleased that damian withheld the info that red hood is trained and from the LOA, but damian simply maintains that they never asked. when further questioned about why his relationship with hood was so familial and about what his identity is... they get

damian: hood was perhaps my favourite tutor back home, the only one i didn't kill. he taught me many things, from how to poison somebody to famous quotes and sayings from classic literature.

bruce: what. is. his. name.

damian: you know what one of those sayings was? 'snitches get stitches'

dick: *slams his face into the wall*

tim: well you did want him to be more childlike.

they eventually have to move past it because damian won't budge, unfortunately jason is finding this whole scenario fucking hysterical because holy shit he'd thought about coming back and pissing off his family through their secret personas but he hadn't even considered the beauty of coming back and pissing them off through their public personas.

and from then on the entire batfamily has to deal with pretending to be nervous or wary every time the red hood comes and crashes their very real wayne public events. it's fucking incredible. jason can't believe that he was gonna try and beat the shit out of tim to freak out bruce when all he had to do was grab a glass of champagne, walk up to the dude, and ask politely how stocks at WE are doing. 'brucie wayne' has no fucking clue what to do, and jason just poured the champagne against his helmet and let it all fall to the ground and everybody's too scared to say anything.

nobody else bats an eye when red hood becomes an occasional presence at these fancy events, apart from the people who know for a fact they could be on his shitlist. mostly because this is gotham, but also because they know he's a crime lord so like... riches and business running wise he kinda fits the bill for these things anyway? and if the stoic kid of brucie wayne eases up around him then the whole 'i dont hurt kids' thing must ring true so it's not like he'll cause too much trouble. also the guards are too scared to tell him he's not allowed in, so there's that.

the bats hate everything about this. they don't even know what red hoods game is, they have no idea why they're being tortured and they're getting paranoid about it. damian's absolutely no help because he's just happy to 1. get to see his brother on a regular basis again, and 2. get to see his brother find a less self-destructive outlet for the pit rage he's watched jason struggle with for years.

it's also just really fun to watch tim accidentally fall asleep against a wall mid-gala, wake up to red hood's helmet 2 inches from his face, and then almost break his own hand trying to punch it because he forgot that he wasn't in-mask and had to hold back last second.

dick is mostly just indignant because every time red hood shows up and hangs around near damian, damian immediately becomes a picture perfect public persona, interacting with the elites of gotham with the same expertise of tim or bruce. he's so mad that a crime lord can wrangle HIS little brother in public but he can't, that he completely disregards the whole crime lord thing and starts bugging red hood both in and out of mask about how to be a better older brother to damian. at one point he corners red hood on a rooftop mid patrol.

nightwing: ok, seriously, when I asked damian not to be rude to the new investors he told a woman her coat looked like it would hold up in a fight against two-face, but when YOU ask he becomes a model citizen, what is UP with that?

red hood, being an asshole: *gasp* y-you're.... YOU'RE RICHARD GRAYSON?

nightwing:

nightwing: ....oh my god you didn't know?

red hood: no i fucking knew you're just an idiot. and damian listens to me because I'm the only tutor he could never kill and he knows i'll beat his ass with my magic swords.

nightwing:

red hood: and also im the only one at the league who played Just Dance with him so i get special privileges, like telling him what to do.

dick asks damian to play Just Dance with him that night and damian just looks at him all forlorn, like 'it wouldn't be the same without the exhilarating thrill of knowing if anybody catches us hood will be stabbed and thrown in the lazarus pit again as punishment for corrupting me... it was really an unfair punishment considering he replaced grandfather's bed with a plastic pool covered by a sheet once, and the only punishment he got for that was being banned from the family dinners for two weeks'

dick stares at him. damian just adds 'he used to sit outside the window like a dog. watching and occasionally yelling about the injustice. mother gave him a plate of roast potatoes through the window once. grandfather disapproved.'

nobody knows quite what to do about red hood becoming a gotham elite, but they are becoming more concerned about damian's family's dynamic every goddamn day.

Hades after the Odysseus song

Hades: We should go to the Valhalla for vacation.

Persophone (in a hot tub): Hm, that would be nice for a winter vacay.

Hectate: Intake time!

Hades sighed, rubbing his forehead.

Persophone: Wait, let me go with you. Hera texted me earlier about this.

Hades (exhausted): Oh my me.

Hades and Persophone made their way to the intake room where all the suitors from Odysseus palace and for once Hades just laughed and clapped for a few seconds confusing the dead men.

Hades (amused): He actually gutted all of you? After the crap my family put him through I'm not even mad. I'm actually proud of him. All the idiots who tested that man line up, but Antinous you come up first. I have to know how he got you first, no wait tell me what led up to it.

Hades laughed surprising Hectate and Nyx. Persophone giggled as well. Antinous, with an arrow through his neck, reluctantly walked to the podium.

Persophone: I figured he would react like that.