Dick 9 times out of 10 failing to hide a severe injury from the rest of the batfam because without fail when he’s tired or drugged or generally not firing on all cylinders his native accent comes out as thick as the day he met Bruce.
- - -
Bruce: Dick come down for a check up I saw you take that hit for Tim.
Dick, halfway towards the cave exit and still going, in the quietest voice possible: im fine
Bruce: Say squirrel and you can leave.
Dick:
Bruce:
Jason:
Tim:
Damien:
Dick: …skweeerrehl.
Jason: Get him boys.
Danny is either bored of King work or is forced on a vacation from his Ghost King duties in the DC Universe. But because of Clockwork, Danny is sent the very distant past of the world, and because of his immortal body, something he got when he accepted the Crown of Flames and the Ring of Rage when he was 19, he doesn't age at all or die from being hot with a fatal blow.
Clockwork was the one to tell him to be a warrior where the Halfa found himself, so he donned a modified version of his Kingly Armor that covers his entire body and makes his voice deeper and more menacing and had done so. The modified armor he has allows him to access weaker versions of the Ancients powers.
Danny had unknowingly started a new religion in the DC Universe, the Warriors Religion. It's a religion about fighting, but even Danny himself has told those part of it, when he eventually found out about the religion, that it's not always about fighting physically, it can be for any battle one takes.
Danny has many fighting styles, as he is the Ghost King and needs to defend himself when attacked, which are made up of many long dead fighting styles from many Ghosts in the Infinite Realms, amd because Pandora was one of his mentors, he had Amazonian training as well.
As the years go by, with it getting closer to modern times in the DC Universe, Danny has had many students and adversaries. Ra's Al Ghul and his daughters Talia and Nyssa were some of his students, Diana of Themyscira was an adversary, but not one to battle him to death like many others before her. And then he got another student, Bruce Wayne. While training Bruce, the Al Ghuls would challenge him in battles, but not to the death, as they seen what he did to those killed, as whenever he killed someone, the intense emotions, the ectoplasm from him, and a violent death at his hands causes all his opponents to become Ghosts, but before they could fully form, he gently grabs there forming core in one hand, and teleports them to the Infinite Realms after saying something to the cores. Because those he kills and sends to the Infinite Realms can not be revived by the Lazarus Pits
"May you find peace in the afterlife" for those that had no ill will
"May you find redemption in the afterlife" for bad guys he kills
When Danny is not his 'Warrior' persona, he's an average Gothamite with an average job and trying to survive till the next day in the chaotic city he calls home.
Damian: If an adult needs help, do I help them? Dick: It depends. Damian: On? Tim: For starters, are you in your Robin costume? Damian: No. Jason: Then why the fuck would an adult ask for an eleven year old's help? Damian: I'm relieved I followed my gut. Dick: What did the adult want? Damian: To assist him in putting items in his vehicle. Tim: Was the vehicle a van? Damian: Yes. A white one. Jason: ... Jason: [taking out his gun] I'll be back. I have child kidnapper to kill.
If they were transformers what vehicle would they be
Dick: a clown car
Jason: a freight train
Tim: the Batmobile he embezzled
Damian: a horse-drawn carriage
Duke: a Mars rover
Cullen: a go-kart
Stephanie: a speedboat
Cassandra: a UFO
Barbara: a submarine
Harper: an 18-wheeler
Carrie: an ice cream truck
Kate: a bulldozer
Helena: a helicopter
Luke: a fighter jet
Bette: an ATV
Alfred: a coach bus
Selina: a limousine
Bruce: a suburban dad van
BONUS – the Joker: a Tesla cybertruck
I wonder what the batfam's reactions would be if the joker escapes wherever they sent him to, finds Tim on patrol and was like "Long time no see JJ," and then going on about how he should come home with him back to arkham and he'll help him "recover" and are trying to get to Tim's location as fast as they can while listening in on comms?
This was actually a scenario I thought of the day I found out about JJ. I feel like after what happened, Tim would do the opposite of what Jason would and has done. Instead of going to find the Joker, he would stay as far away from him or even his goons as possible. It would be like the third Robin and the Joker had no history, nothing to tie them together(which probably made Jason angry at some point).
So when he breaks out of Arkham(AGAIN, jesus), Tim, Babs, and Bruce don’t waste a minute before bringing up that Tim has another case he has to work on that is of the “upmost importance”. It’s actually just a 12 year old homicide cold case that he solved a month ago but no one has to know that. Jim knows to sweep that under the rug when RR comes by with the same exact evidence he came with a month ago.
But Lady Luck has never been on Tim’s side. The rest of the bats quickly lose track of the Joker. Babs manages to find him, but by that point, it’s too late.
Joker finds him. And he recognizes him. Underneath the new name, costume, and styled hair, Joker finds his “son”.
As you can imagine, he’s over the moon. But he’s also just as angry.
“Junior! You don’t call, you don’t text, you don’t send out an email. What’s a pop got to do to get their son to notice them?”
“I’m not your son.”
“Not with that hair you’re not. Your skin’s not how I left it at all! And what happened to that beautiful smile of yours? Did the bat ruin that too?”
Tim doesn’t take jabs about his smile well. This is why. And it gets under his skin that even after using so much foundation and concealer, the Joker can still see the remnants of smile lines along his cheeks.
“You’ve been avoiding me, Junior. You know papa doesn’t like being ignored.“
“You’re not my dad.”
“Ha! Who is then? Certainly not the old bat. Anyhow, this isn’t about him. It’s been so long, kiddo. Why don’t we stop by the old warehouse and have a chat. Maybe even pick up Mama while we’re at it.”
“Harley would rather die than go with you, and I’m not following you anywhere. Batman already has your location.”
That brushes the smile off the freak’s face. The expression he has on now is sickly reminiscent of how he was when he, Tim, and Harley played family years ago. It’s not a look he gives to other people. No one else has seen it, so they might think Tim a liar. But he can’t deny the parental disappointment in the man’s eyes.
“I know they don’t know.”
Now that. That really gets to him.
“None of your business.”
“It it, but you’re welcome to deny it. I believe it’s just the old bat, the beat up cop, and Ms. Gordon, correct? Not even the first Robin! Ha! I wonder what the second bird would think. Not to mention the girls! Oh! And we can’t forget about little old Signal.”
Tim doesn’t need him to tell him. He’s gone over the scenario so many times it drives him mad. What each of them would say. What he could do to make them think differently. What he would have to do if they found out. Where he could run to. It never gets easier.
Joker is trying to scare him. That’s the only conclusion he definitively has. And aside from his general psychotic tendencies, he genuinely believes he and Tim are family.
By the time Batman arrives with the GCPD, the Joker is tied and ready for extraction. But the villain’s smile is no less fear-inducing.
“You know I’m right, my boy,” he says as he’s take into the back of a truck.
“They’ll never look at you the same way again.”
It’s only when everything is over that Tim takes the time to look over his gear that he finds his mistake. One that the Joker knew about. One that he exploited.
When he shut off the comms, he didn’t shut them off. In his delirium over his past, instead of closing them off, he muted them. While he couldn’t hear any of their chatter, they definitely heard his. And he didn’t send Babs his acceptance to shut his comms off, something she couldn’t do without express permission.
So when he unmuted the comms, you can only imagine what he heard.
Detective Comics Annual #3 - “Chaos Theory”
written by Brian Buccallato art by Werther Dell’Edera, Jorge Fornes, & Scott Hepburn
This scene makes me crack up so hard. Did either of them help when Jason got to work doing this? Did Gordon look over at Cass (who seems to have entered some depressive meditative funk) and wonder if this was normal for them based on her total lack of reaction?
Did Jason ask one of them if Joker's dangling corpse was centred right while he attached him?
Bruce once said, half-jokingly, that anyone who wanted to marry any of his kids had to beat hik in single combat first. Unfortunately, joking on the Bat looks dead serious to everyone not in his circle, so now Wally is busy learning Muay Thai, Roy is brushing up on Krav Maga, and Conner has resigned himself to living in sin. Steph just figures she'd ask Cass to fight her battles for her.
Conner: I’m sorry. I love you, but we can never marry.
Tim, thinking about who he might need to politely go ask Jason to take care of:
Conner, entirely serious: I’m never going to be able to beat your dad.
Tim, hearing “beat UP” because he was thinking about Jason punching Luthor:
Tim: I feel like further explanation might be necessary here.
Wally: Okay. I think I’m ready to fight Batman.
Dick, only half paying attention: *nods* I understand completely. I have the same urge all the time.
Jason: What do you MEAN you can’t marry me because Batman will beat you?
Roy: But Bruce said-
Jason: I don’t care what Bruce said. Actually, no. I do care. How DARE he-
*cut to Jason fighting Batman*
Roy: So does this count, or…
Bruce, at six am in a bathrobe and slippers: Steph, what are you doing here?
Steph: Outsourcing.
Cass: *comes flying at Batman from two stories above*
This
Our fandom forbearers did NOT suffer through Anne Rice, strikethrough, and other bullshit for fucking ACOTAR and Harry Potter fans to fucking ruin it for all of us by selling fanfiction. I am not losing novel length yaoi epics because some of you don't know how to act in fannish spaces and yes I do blame the booktokification of fanfic but I also blame those of you that treat fandom like content to consume and not a community to engage with.
Bruce: who are you? A new crime lord?
Jason: *takes off his helmet*
Bruce: *squints suspiciously* a new crime lord who looks like a grown up version of my dead son?
Jason: *sighs in annoyance and forces a bright smile*
Bruce: JASON THE NEW CRIME LORD???
At Wayne mannor
Alfred: Morning everyone I have an announcement.
Bruce: Everything alright Alfred?
Alfred: Yes, I have invited the Kents to dinner in two days time.
Bruce: What...
Alfred: I expect everyone to be on their best behavior.
Tim: When you say the Kents who do you mean?
Alfred: All of them, Jonathan, Martha, Clark, Lois, Kon, Jon, Kara, Otho, and Osul.
Cassandra: How many people will be in attendance.
Alfred: 24 people in total. For our part everyone WILL attend, no excuses. That means myself, Bruce, Dick, Jason, Danny, Tim, Duke, Stephane, Barbara, Harper, Cassandra, Luke, Kate, and Damian.
Jason: This is going to be fun.
Damian: I bet $20 the house burns down by the end of the night.
Danny: I'll take you up on that.
Meanwhile at the Kent farm
Martha: Morning everyone, last night I was talking with Alfred and we've been invited to dinner at the Waynes in two days. We will all be going, no buts.
Jonathan: We expect everyone to behave.
Kon: At least one person will end up in the hospital.
Kara: I think it'll be fun.
Clark: It'll be fun to see Bruce, it's been a while since we've seen each other as civilians.
Martha: Good, now let's enjoy breakfast, there are chores to be done, and they're not going to do themselves.
Part: 13, (all parts)