Damian pressed an ice pack to his swollen eye, the aftermath of a dodgeball incident at school earlier that day. The gym teacher had thrown the ball at him for "asking too many questions"—except they weren't even playing dodgeball! Frustrated, he stewed over his options, realizing he couldn’t handle this alone; if he involved his brothers, they might end up getting arrested.
Damian (talking to himself, realization dawning): Wait a minute, my parents don’t even know how awful this gym teacher is! I’ve never told them, but that’s… not right. They should know, or this failed track star nut case will keep getting away with it. I can’t let this swollen eye be for nothing!
With a sigh, Damian removed the ice pack and pulled out his phone.
Damian (while snapping a picture of his injury): I hope they’re not disappointed in me for not fighting back.
He quickly sent the picture to both his mother and father in separate texts, captioned: Look what the gym teacher, Coach Marley did to me.
Talia, upon seeing the picture, spluttered tea all over her living room couch in shock. Her face turned an irate shade of red as she trembled with rage.
Talia: Oh, hell no!
Without a moment’s hesitation, she bolted from her seat, hopped onto a jet, and flew toward Gotham. Meanwhile, Bruce’s reaction was more restrained, though he nearly crushed his phone with his grip.
Tim (calmly, carefully taking the phone from Bruce): Bruce… Bruce, you need to breathe. Give me the phone; let’s keep this evidence.
Bruce growled in frustration but managed to take a deep breath, clearing his throat to contain his fury. School was closed, and it was too soon to go storming in.
Bruce: I need a night to work through this rage. If I go to the school now, I am going to shout a lot of hurtful things in her face because I can't hit a them!
Tim: That’s probably for the best. Do you need any of us to step in?
Bruce: No, I’ll handle this… but I have to call Talia. Damn it.
Tim: Do what you gotta do.
The next morning in her office, Principal Lynn sipped her coffee, reviewing reports, when she heard the sharp clacking of heels approaching. Suddenly, her door was kicked in, and Talia stormed inside, dragging the gym teacher along with her and tossing her onto the floor. The teacher barely appeared conscious and was crying heavily, bruised and battered.
Talia (pointing fiercely at the gym teacher): Explain to me why this harlot has been abusing my child and getting away with it!
Principal Lynn: I—
Talia (raising her voice): I paid you a significant amount to keep my son at this school, and you allowed her to throw dodgeballs at my child for talking?! Explain yourself, knavess!
Principal Lynn: Um, I can explain—
Just then, Bruce arrived, catching his breath as he took in the chaotic scene before him: the gym teacher on the floor, Talia standing over her, and Principal Lynn looking terrified.
Bruce: That… that harlot needs to be fired and arrested!
Talia: Thank you!
Principal Lynn: Right, on it. I’ll call the cops. Just don’t hurt me like you hurt her!
Talia: Call the cops, then!
Nervously, Principal Lynn grabbed the landline phone and dialed 911 while the gym teacher attempted to scramble to her feet. Talia, quick as a flash, delivered a punch to the teacher’s head, sending her crashing down again.
Yeah, you read that right. Gotham’s broodiest billionaire vigilante and the queen of chaotic energy are co-parenting Tim Drake. And, somehow, that’s not even the weirdest thing that's happened to the bats this year.
Why? Two words: Joker Junior.
The details are locked down tighter than the Batcave, but here’s what everyone knows (or guesses): Joker broke Tim in ways none of them can fathom. He didn’t just try to kill him—he tried to make Tim like him. And while Tim clawed his way back from the brink, he didn’t do it alone. Harley was there.
She was part of the nightmare. And then, unexpectedly, she was part of the healing. She stepped in, helped Tim survive when Joker was doing his worst. When it was all over, when Joker was (temporarily) gone, she didn’t vanish into Gotham’s chaos. She stayed.
And somehow, somewhere along the way, Tim started calling her “Mom.”
And Bruce didn’t stop him.
Cue the Batfamily losing their collective minds.
Dick is pacing the Batcave, gesturing wildly. “Bruce, this is Harley Quinn we’re talking about! You don’t just co-parent with a rogue! There are laws against this! Or, like, there should be!”
Jason is sitting on the Batmobile, arms crossed, voice dripping with disbelief. “She’s literally a former rogue. She tried to kill you! Like, more than once. This is insane, even for you.”
Steph is perched on the edge of a desk, trying (and failing) not to laugh. “Okay, but, like, can you blame Tim? Harley does make amazing pancakes. Better than Alfred’s, honestly—”
A scandalized gasp echoes from the other side of the room.
Cass just watches quietly, her head tilted, but there’s a small, knowing smile on her face. She gets it. She’s seen the way Tim softens around Harley, how he relaxes in a way he doesn’t around anyone else.
Damian glares at Bruce like he’s lost his last shred of common sense. “Father, you have truly surpassed yourself. Allowing that woman into the sanctity of our home—”
Duke raises a hand cautiously. “Okay, but can we at least talk about how Tim basically has diplomatic immunity now? No rogue in Gotham is gonna mess with him. He’s Harley’s kid!”
And it’s true. Between Harley’s reputation and Poison Ivy stepping in as Tim’s unofficial stepmom (because of course she and Harley got back together), the rogues have adopted a weird kind of reverence for him. Tim’s no longer just a bat to them—he’s Harley’s kid.
Picture this: Tim’s out on patrol, and Riddler has the gall to interrupt with a riddle—only to end it with, “You’re sharper than I thought, kid. Guess Harley taught you well, huh?” before disappearing into the night.
Harley’s brand of parenting is chaotic but deeply personal. She knows Tim’s tells, the way his hands shake when he’s overwhelmed or the too-quiet moments when he’s retreating into himself. She’s the one who sits cross-legged on the floor with him, working on puzzles and cracking jokes until the tension lifts.
She carries extra band-aids in her purse because “Ya never know when a fight with some thug is gonna leave ya with a paper cut!” She also leaves sticky notes on his projects with scribbled messages like “You’re a genius, baby boy!” or “Don’t forget snacks!” They’re goofy, sure, but they make Tim smile when he needs it most. She keeps a stash of snacks in the Manor because Tim forgets to eat when he’s working. She shows up with pancakes at 3 a.m., douses everything in syrup, and calls him “baby boy” in that soft tone that makes Tim feel… safe.
Even Harley’s chaos has an odd kind of comfort to it. She’ll burst into the Manor unannounced, dragging Tim into impromptu “self-care parties” with face masks, bad rom-coms, and every flavor of ice cream imaginable. Somehow, it works.
Ivy, on the other hand, balances Harley’s energy with her own structured nurturing. She insists on “proper nutrition” and occasionally sends Tim home with meal prep containers filled with organic, eco-friendly food labeled things like “Stress-Busting Smoothie” or “Brain-Boosting Soup.” If Bruce raises an eyebrow at it, Ivy simply reminds him that “The human body can only fight crime properly with the right fuel, Bats.”
One time, she cornered Bruce in the greenhouse, pointing an accusatory finger. “If you send Tim out on patrol without a proper meal or at least six hours of sleep, I swear, Bruce, your rose garden is compost.”
And while Harley is the queen of hugs and chaos, Ivy is the one who sits with Tim on the porch at night, talking softly about resilience and regrowth, using plant metaphors Tim pretends not to understand but secretly finds comforting. Once, after a particularly bad night, she gifted him a small cactus with a note: “Even when it feels like the world is trying to tear you apart, you’re stronger than you think. Also, low maintenance, like you.”
Bruce knows the family doesn’t fully understand. But as he watches Harley teaching Tim how to make lasagna one night, the two of them laughing as the kitchen turns into a war zone of flour and tomato sauce, he doesn’t regret it.
Sometimes family doesn’t look like you think it will. Sometimes it’s stitched together from the most unexpected pieces.
And sometimes, it’s an ex-rogue, a traumatized teen, and a brooding billionaire all trying to figure out how to keep the lasagna from burning.
Welcome to Gotham.
I really need more stuff on some Joker Junior angst, along with Jason finding out about Joker Junior. Even better if you wanna pull in the whole Red Hood (Joker/Jason) Attacking Robin (Jason/Tim), both times when Robin was 15 years old and was supposed to be with someone/somewhere safe.
Hmm... I agree that more content about that would be fabulous. I especially love JJ fanart (there's some really cool ones on TikTok).
Fuck it. Here we go:
TW: torture, Joker Junior, violence, blood, flashback, dissociation, derealization, hallucinating(?)
Tim hands fly to his throat in a desperate attempt to rub away the urge to giggle. He's biting his lips hard enough to bleed in order to prevent them from twisting into a panicked grin.
He's pinned to the floor by a man using one of Joker's alias.
Just like old times, eh?
A snicker slips out at that, which only seems to enrage the man in red.
"Something funny, Placeholder?" The voice modulator in the helmet does nothing to hide the clear disdain and wrath curling through Red Hood. His grip tightens over his holsters, but he doesn't pull them out quite yet. The crimson helmet just glares down at Robin.
Red, red, red. He'd look so much better in Green.
Fuck. Note to self, Tim. JJ likes Red Hood.
Robin locks his face down at this revelation to keep a calm facade. He could try to dislodge the knives holding him hostage, but not with the perpetrator towering over him like this. "Nope. My bad, Hood. Got a little distracted. Where were we?"
The crime lord takes a few steps forward until he's next to the trapped bird. Somehow, he makes even the action squatting appear menacing. "This is the part where I torture you. Where I cut off a little bird's wings so you'll never fly again. Maybe then, B will learn."
Robin watches as Hood draws another knife. The crime lord twirls the blade between his fingers and tilts his head. There's a considering glint evident in his body language.
In a sick mockery of comfort, Red Hood trails the knife down Robin's cheek. It's too close to Joker's signs of "affection" after a round of shock treatment.
Junior shudders.
The leather jacket starts to morph into a lavender lounge coat and Tim blinks rapidly to clear his vision.
A sigh of relief escapes his lips when he's able to see Red Hood again.
The crime lord pauses. He tilts his head once more. Tim can feel the gaze studying him, but he's not sure why. He can't tell if the man is genuinely curious or if he's inspecting Robin like a bug trapped in plexiglass.
When the knife leaves his skin, Tim feels his shoulders lose an inch of tension.
"Don't get too comfortable. I've got a few questions before I snap your legs."
Tim can feel a jolt of pain flash through his legs at the claim. He grimaces at the notion of months off field.
Hood leans back onto his heels, fortunately giving the younger teen some space. It doesn't seem intentional, but it's better.
"You've been Robin for two years now?"
When Tim initially refuses to acknowledge the question, Hood raises the knife. Robin sighs and gives a nod.
The man hums and brings the hilt of the knife to his chin. The weird thinking pose blares an alarm in Tim's brain, but he can't quite piece together where he's seen it before.
"About eight months ago, the clown disappeared."
Phantom feelings of electricity run through Tim's body. His muscles twitch under the memory.
Red Hood leans closer. "Where is he?"
Tim can hear -
"You know better than that, Junior. Where's the smile for your old man?"
A desperate giggle bubbles up Tim's throat.
"Come on, son. You wouldn't want to make your mother sad, would you?"
Joker leans over Tim Junior with a wicked grin. He grips a blade and gestures to Junior's lips. "Do you want your dear old Dad to teach you to smile? Again?"
Junior shakes his head frantically as trembling lips split open in a facsimile of a smile. The motion pulls at his stitches scars.
Scars?
That's not-
Junior's smile starts to fall.
Red Hood Joker crosses his arms. "What the fuck are you smiling at?"
Junior still has a smile on his face (it can't drop), but his eyebrows furrow. "Dad?"
Joker flinches back.
Amethyst cloth flickers to bronze leather and then back again. Forest green hair morphs into a cherry red helmet. Junior watches it peer behind its shoulder before Joker's face turns back to him.
"Batman isn't here."
A cackle erupts from Junior's lips and dissolves into a fit of giggles. Joker peers at Tim Junior in confused horror. The kid turns his head more towards the man. A smile stretches and pulls the corner of his lips, highlighting the faint scars.
Junior Tim hears the man take a startled breath in.
"Batsy isn't Dad. Dad-"
Tim frowns as his gaze drifts away from the man. "I killed Dad. He's dead."
He pouts exaggeratedly before Junior dissolves into a fit of giggles. "Bam!" Both of his hands point an imaginary gun Red Hood's Joker's way. "Bam! Bam!" The hands recoil back as if actually shooting the man.
Tears start to stream down Junior's Tim's face. He fights to bring his lips away from a grin.
"Fuck." He's still grining. "Fuck!"
Red Hood, the cause of all of this, is just staring at Tim. He's observing the teen try to bring himself back to sanity inch by stupid fucking inch.
Tim's eyes dart around the room. He takes a deep breath in and, on the exhale, list something he sees. "Chair. Blender. Staff. Kni-"
Several more deep breaths in and out as he ignores all the knives in the room. "Light. Jacket. Cape. Couch. Lemon. Counter."
His hands paw at his utility breath as he keeps breathing. He grasps one of the sour candies and works on opening the wrapper. He pops it into his mouth and continues the breath exercise.
Red Hood is silent as he watches Robin pull himself back into reality.
It takes several more minutes before Robin's breaths return to normal. He lays there looking at the ceiling absolutely drained and done with this whole situation.
Finally, Tim turns his gaze to the crime lord.
"Can you just kill me already or get the fuck out?"
Red Hood responds by pulling off his helmet.
Tim blinks. Sighs. Then starts up his grounding techniques again.
Lex Luthor hates Superman, Lex Luthor hates the Justice League, bla bla bla… You know who Lex must really hate? Bruce Wayne.
Because he knows that bitch is Batman. He’d worked it through that big brain of his and he’s without a doubt certain that the same idiot who spilled champagne on him last New Year’s Eve moonlights as the Batman.
But he can’t fucking prove it. So he’s resigned to a lifetime of having to make stilted conversation filled with double meaning while Brucie just flutters his eyelashes and pretends to be a ditz. And Lex just has to sit there and take it, because Bruce knows that Lex knows and absolutely uses that knowledge to fuck with Alex at every opportunity—he says the absolute shittest, godawful pickup lines and flirts to his heart’s content, knowing full well that he helped Superman kick Lex’s ass last week and that Lex knows it was him.
Jason doesn't get to announce his revival dramatically because Talia decides to be petty (she is her father's daughter, alright) and randomly sends Jason's photo with little Damian to Bruce in a random Monday.
Bruce: (minding his business)
Talia, messaging in the middle of the day: Beloved. Look at our beautiful sons.
Talia: (sends a photo of Jason reading little Damian a book while he drools)
Bruce, with his eye twitching: IS THAT JASON?
Bruce: SONS?
Bruce: TALIA?
Talia, turning her phone to Jason: A family photoshoot would ruin him completely. I'm just saying.
Jason, staring at the screen: ...
Jason: Call Ra's. We are doing the sweetest family photoshoot this world had ever seen. I need the old man to get a stroke.
Talia: ...I sense like I made some mistake here.
They ship printed photos of this photoshoot directly to Wayne Manor in the various copies. Jason brings little Damian to his father in a few weeks and announces that he himself will stay only for a short amount of time before returning to "grandpa Ra's." Bruce locks up all doors and forbids anyone from leaving it. .
Damian, bursting into the living room, tears streaming down his face and rage in his eyes: TODD YOU UTTER BASTARD!
Jason, looking up from his book, confusion from being yelled at shifting to unbridled glee: whoa there brat, what did I do?
Damian, screaming wordlessly as he throws a pillow at Jason: WHY! WHY DID NAGISA HAVE TO DIE! WHY DID YOU SAY I MUST WATCH SUCH...SUCH HORRID THINGS!
Dick, rushing in as he heard yelling: Dami? Jay? What happened? Who died?
Jason, cackling and fallingnoff his chair: Oh my god...oh sweet baby Jesus...
Damian, running to Dick and clinging onto him: Todd told me to watch a show called Clannad...He is evil and must be exterminated.
Dick, hugging Damian back out of instinct but blinks confused: Wait...that old anime from like...07? Wait no...oh Dami...Jason why?
Jason, picking himself up from the floor: The brat spoiled One Piece for me, he deserved it.
Damian, muffled as he had his face squished into Dicks side: ALL I SAID WAS THAT ACE DIED HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW IT HAPPENED WHEN YOU WERE DEAD!
Jason, pointing at the boy: HE WAS ACTUALLY SO COOL! WHY DID HE HAVE TO DIE!
Dick, stricken with "my brothers are weebs" face: I should have just stayed with Wally this week
All the Batkids using Bruce's cape as a little hideyhole. 😭
It started with Dick in his Robin years as a way to convince Bruce to carry him to the Batmobile after patrols. As independent as he liked to be, he liked being carried by the taller man more.
It continued with Jason. He'd hide under the cape as a scare-tactic, jumping out at the right time and yelling a loud, "Halt!" It did nothing but make the goons give a little 'aww' and often go easier on the little bird.
After Jason's death, Tim rarely went under Bruce's cape. Robin wasn't his place, Batman's cape wasn't for him. Yet, Bruce would often usher him under, pretending Tim was Jason hiding from villains again. He couldn't deny the grieving man, nor the way his chest warmed.
Steph did it for fun. She thought the weight of it was perfect, and she'd often giggle as she clung to Bruce's leg, merging into the bulk of the man. Scaring Gordon was her favorite when she'd pop out of nowhere in the middle of a chat on a rooftop.
Damian kept the trend alive for the same reason Jason did: to scare people. Except, unlike Jason, Damian struck fear into the hearts of people as he jumped from his father's cape, wielding a sword and an untamed fury.
And sure, maybe the real reason all of them liked to hang out under Bruce's cape was because it was safe and warm and heavy, making them sleepy and comfortable, but they'd never admit it. They just liked being close to their dad.
Let’s be honest, the only thing funnier than Dick and Bruce trying to co-parent Damian is Dick, Bruce, and Jason trying to co-parent Damian.
Christmas at Wayne Manor is usually hectic. With various arguments about varying topics and an inevitable snowball fight that ended with the four boys being draped in blankets in front of the fire because they were all out there in nothing but sweatpants.
Between serving rounds of hot chocolate and adding new logs to the fire, Alfred would be seen cleaning up the discarded tissue paper and scraps of wrapping paper that littered the floor.
That is until the year Bruce gave each one of his children weighted blankets, and the hours which in previous years had been flooded with shouting and shivering bodies were replaced with the sound of deep breathing.
—————————————————
The lack of noise coming from the drawing room was concerning as Bruce made his way back to the room after helping Alfred finish cleaning up the wrapping paper. Alfred was currently in the kitchen beginning preparations for Christmas dinner.
As he stepped into the room, bracing himself for a snowball to the face—because there’s no other way his children would be this quiet unless they were planning a sneak attack—but was surprised to find his children weren’t scheming as he had thought. Dick was sitting in front of the couch, Tim and Stephanie leaning their heads on either of his shoulders and Damian curled up on his lap, their weighted blankets draped over each of them while Jason laid on the couch under his own blanket. All of them were asleep.
Leaning against the doorframe, Bruce crossed his arms and watched the deep breathing of his kids, the soft music coming from the record player Dick had given to Alfred floating over to him.
“I believe you made a good decision for their gifts this year, Master Bruce,” Alfred said softly, coming to a stop beside him.
Bruce smiled. “I’m afraid Jason won’t be able to keep up his promise to help you with Christmas dinner this year, Alfred.”
“That’s alright, Master Bruce,” the butler replied. “Let them sleep. I do not think any of them have gotten this much sleep in a while.”
Bruce chuckled. Between regular villains of the week and the holiday schemes from a myriad of different villains, they had all been swamped on patrol.
“I’d offer to help, but I think we both know it’s for the best that I don’t,” Bruce said.
“I appreciate the thought nonetheless,” Alfred replied.
They stood there in silence for a moment.
Then, as Alfred turned to leave, Bruce said, “Merry Christmas, Alfred.”
“Merry Christmas, Master Bruce.”
Danny is either bored of King work or is forced on a vacation from his Ghost King duties in the DC Universe. But because of Clockwork, Danny is sent the very distant past of the world, and because of his immortal body, something he got when he accepted the Crown of Flames and the Ring of Rage when he was 19, he doesn't age at all or die from being hot with a fatal blow.
Clockwork was the one to tell him to be a warrior where the Halfa found himself, so he donned a modified version of his Kingly Armor that covers his entire body and makes his voice deeper and more menacing and had done so. The modified armor he has allows him to access weaker versions of the Ancients powers.
Danny had unknowingly started a new religion in the DC Universe, the Warriors Religion. It's a religion about fighting, but even Danny himself has told those part of it, when he eventually found out about the religion, that it's not always about fighting physically, it can be for any battle one takes.
Danny has many fighting styles, as he is the Ghost King and needs to defend himself when attacked, which are made up of many long dead fighting styles from many Ghosts in the Infinite Realms, amd because Pandora was one of his mentors, he had Amazonian training as well.
As the years go by, with it getting closer to modern times in the DC Universe, Danny has had many students and adversaries. Ra's Al Ghul and his daughters Talia and Nyssa were some of his students, Diana of Themyscira was an adversary, but not one to battle him to death like many others before her. And then he got another student, Bruce Wayne. While training Bruce, the Al Ghuls would challenge him in battles, but not to the death, as they seen what he did to those killed, as whenever he killed someone, the intense emotions, the ectoplasm from him, and a violent death at his hands causes all his opponents to become Ghosts, but before they could fully form, he gently grabs there forming core in one hand, and teleports them to the Infinite Realms after saying something to the cores. Because those he kills and sends to the Infinite Realms can not be revived by the Lazarus Pits
"May you find peace in the afterlife" for those that had no ill will
"May you find redemption in the afterlife" for bad guys he kills
When Danny is not his 'Warrior' persona, he's an average Gothamite with an average job and trying to survive till the next day in the chaotic city he calls home.
Usual stuff first, maybe it was a Gotham rogue with science, perhaps somebody external with magic; doesn't matter much. Except this wasn't an attack on Batman, it was meant for Bruce Wayne...meaning the manor was attacked.
First, the JL get rid of the threat, and then find the rest of the family. Diana finds Dick, he's a very small baby, maybe even months old, and he hangs from a chandelier.
While everyone freaks out about how he got there, Oliver, who remembers seeing Dick's first gala stunt, deduces he probably shrunk down until he was that age, and either an eight or seven old Dick was the one to climb there.
The ones who don't stay babying baby Dick and taking pics, look for Bruce. This has happened before, so they are betting on two options: a recently traumatized eight-year-old, or younger and looking for his parents. Hal bets on an angry teenager Bruce because it would be hilarious.
What they don't expect to find, is a twenty-something Alfred Pennyworth with Bruce on his hips and in a state of absolute panic. Because he is the youngest intelligence agent Britain has seen in a while, he can tell something is very wrong, and will not reason with these weird people in Wayne Manor for the life of him.
Hal tries to approach him, having apparently not learned his lesson of not judging someone's capabilities just because they don't have magic, powers or a ring, from Batman. Agent A has him immobilized on the ground in three seconds flat, Bruce on his hip and all.
Hal then understands this young man raised Batman after all.
Superman is ready for when he inevitably asks where the Waynes are, he's had this conversation with little Bruce before, and it was actually Alfred himself who advised him how to. Clark is not ready for Alfred to ask for his father, the previous butler who would indeed know what's going on, because what do you say to that? It doesn't help that Bruce is absolutely not letting go of Alfred, the only person he recognizes there.
It's not Batman's business, it's Bruce Wayne's business, so the GCPD does get there. The JL don't know what to do when instead of being understanding and helping out, Jim Gordon *pales*. "You're telling me...a young Alfred Pennyworth-an on edge young Alfred Pennyworth, is in there...nope, not in a million years, I remember the Martha incident" no one asks what he means.
It takes a retired Harvey Bullock to come down grunting to calm the Brit down a bit, he tells him to let them help out rather harshly, and the JL thinks Gordon fucked up by calling this man: But Alfred does back down then, the issue getting resolved after that.
Just, de-aged Alfred, an intelligence Agent, ready to take down the freaks (Justice League, heroes of the world) to make sure they don't get close to Thomas and Martha's kid (Batman, founder of the league)