Penelope: What Kind Of Things Did You Do?

Penelope: What kind of things did you do?

Odysseus proceeds to lay out all he did without lying and asks an important: Would you love me again, I'm not the man you knew?

Penelope: Did you... Did you sleep with specific women? I'm kind of cool if you did, eh.

Odysseus: I got trapped on an island with this crazy woman and she wouldn't let me leave. My moves weren't my own, she was a goddess and basically female Zeus... I was scared everyday and almost killed myself numerous times just to be home.

Penelope (thinking): Oh my Gods he's being completely honest with me. I actually have the best man for this time period.

After bed scene...

Penelope: Twenty years ain't nothing, we still young. Want to go out on a first date?

Odysseus (tears flowing): Yes... I would like that very much.

Aphrodite: I'm not crying, you are!

Ares (eating popcorn): I kind of am.

More Posts from Dragonboygobrrrrr and Others

4 months ago

Rex: So General Kenobi, how come you speak mando'a?

Obi-Wan: I've always been interested in the culture and I spent a year on Mandalore for a mission in my youth :)

Rex: I see, what about you, General Skywalker?

Anakin: Huh? Oh Obi-Wan used to drop me off in mando daycare when he went to get laid in little Keldabe, fun times, they taught me how to headbutt someone.

4 months ago

An eight year old Bruce Wayne summons Danny (who is 14 at the time, mind you) in the Wayne family manors attic.

Danny: please don't be a cultist please don't be a cultist please don't be a-

Danny:

Danny: That's a child. Why is there a child?

Bruce who honestly didn't expect his great great great great nth grandparents weird ass spellbook bullshit to work: [squinting at Danny in scrutiny] I thought the King of the Dead would be…taller.

Danny: Oh great and now I'm being insulted by a six year old. It's like Young Blood all over again, just more posh. And alive.

4 months ago
He Actually Doesn’t Play Video Games… Just Wants Attention.
He Actually Doesn’t Play Video Games… Just Wants Attention.

He actually doesn’t play video games… Just wants attention.

4 months ago

Bruce, accidentally overhearing Damian and Jason talking:

Damian: "Why are half of father's childhood friends evil now?"

Jason: "Bruce has that effect on people."

Damian, scoffing: "Maybe. It's hard to even imagine what Father’s childhood was like."

Bruce, about to chime in:

Jason: "Considering I found his annotated copies of the Sherlock Holmes books, I can tell you now it was pretty boring."

Bruce: *turns off the comms*

4 months ago

You know the “Dad, How Do I?” YouTube channel? Yeah, that, but with Red Hood, and they’re unlisted videos that Crime Alley residents share with each other.

It started with goons stealthily taking videos of Red Hood ranting about shitty drug quality that they upload under the title “Boss on drug quality control,” primarily for other goons so that anyone can tell if the supplies have been cut with something and don’t need to waste time asking Hood.

Then videos from civilians start popping up too, featuring Red Hood lecturing street kids titled things like “RH on staying warm in winter” and “RH on how not to get mugged.”

Memorably, there’s a video titled “RH on classic literature (y’all did RH go to college???? Is our crime lord a lit major???)” where Red Hood imparts upon some kids the importance of reading. After a very positive reception, the uploader goes back to Red Hood, asks about a book they’re reading for school, and gets a whole lecture on themes and whatnot. It does numbers and becomes a series, and this time Hood knows the camera exists (he’s always known they exist, he just couldn’t be bothered to acknowledge them) and actually talks to it.

(Jason will do anything to help these children, whether it’s giving them a leg up in school, giving the street kids who aren’t in school some semblance of an education, or teaching them how to shank someone trying to traffic them.)

Red Hood never uploads any videos himself, but it doesn’t matter. Crime Alley crowd sourced its own version of Khan academy and it’s better for it.

1 month ago

Wait no this makes sense actually. Like legitimately makes sense, doesn't fully explain how he knows the location of Dragon Island to be fair but then again he may have learned it so he could avoid getting too close and falling under the Red Death's influence.

Rewatching httyd and I think I’m realizing something about Nightfuries.

So, Toothless spits up half the fish that Hiccup gave him. A kind of act of goodwill to reciprocate Hiccup’s. He does it again later after Test Drive.

It’s not something other dragons do when say, feeding the queen, because a Gronkle does the same and gets eaten. Sure, it could just be that it wasn’t enough for the queen, but we also know something about Nightfuries.

They don’t take food. It’s in the opening dialogue about them.

If a Nightfury took nothing back to the queen, I’m sure they’d be eaten too. But Toothless shows up, somewhat late, with the first pack of dragons that attack the village.

I think he followed the dragons because they were flying somewhere together, not because he was under orders from the queen.

So I think Nightfuries are meant to be pack hunters. They work together and feed each other.

He bonds to Hiccup very fast, and even when he could kill Hiccup, he doesn’t. Like when Hiccup lets him go. Like the very first flight when Hiccup attaches just the tail fin.

And sure, we know that dragons can tell when you mean harm and have weapons, but the Monstrous Nightmare still almost killed Hiccup in the beginning despite being unarmed.

Anyways, based on this evidence, I think Nightfuries are meant to be pack hunters, and the fact they are solitary is a tragedy. They’ve been wiped out that it changes their entire ability to exist with other dragons.

(And for the little dragons that come and steal his food, they’re not part of his pack. That’s why he defends his food. It’s like a lion protecting food from hyenas.)

Edit: OH, AND it’s a great reason why he’s so adept at enforcing boundaries and keeping the peace between pack members. It’s innate. Like wolves, they have to manage everyone’s emotions and actively try to avoid fights and de-escalate.

4 months ago

hc that every couple months jason texts tim like "hey r you going rogue yet?" "no" "alr lemme know if you change your mind" until one night tim gets this text while he's having an absolute shit week and goes yknow what? why not and suddenly the internet is filled with news that red hood teamed up with an unknown associate to cause chaos(stealing from corrupt billionaire type chaos, not mass murder of innocents type chaos) and said associate randomly shows up again every couple months

4 months ago
The Shadow Of Mount Rainier Causing A Gap In The Sunset.

The Shadow Of Mount Rainier Causing A Gap In The Sunset.

5 months ago

Fashion meme with the Batfam 

5 months ago

Loved this fic

Fic Rec Advent

archiveofourown.org
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

For the first, we're doing Jason Take the Wheel by Miss_Lazy_Tuesday, genuinely one of the funniest things ever and I adore it so so much!

Be prepared for:

Crack

Some feels

Don't worry, there's crack to cover up the feels

Shenanigans

Explosions

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