Okay but what if, Ra's Al Ghul although being affably evil in my eyes, when the Court of Owls invade his palace to harm his family is not what he will let happen.
*yes some ooc, this was written for fun and for me I do still see Ra's as a villainous man that I don't like, but I've also always thought as bad as he is, he would never let snooty rich foes harm his family... that's his job and he labeled them as tests lol. Context here is that the Court of Owls after being rejected by Ra's and Batman, tracked Damian and Talia and were going to do unspeakable acts to them. Ra's made it in time and he's about to go full bad ass grandpa!
Ra's al Ghul entered the palace, his green and black cloak billowing as he stepped over the body of an owl member he had just stabbed.
Ra's: I come back and find my palace desecrated, sacked like Gotham. Worst of all, I hear you dare to touch my daughter and hurt her boy! I... have had.... enough.
The countess of the court, Lizabeth, stepped forward, her blonde hair slipping from her cloak.
Lizabeth: Old king, we only wanted to convince you to join us. The one who spoke those threats is dead, thanks to you. How about we handle this—
Ra's’s arrow cut her words short as it pierced her heart, sending her crumpling to the ground, lifeless.
Ra's (calmly, almost mockingly): No.
The lights in the palace went dark as Talia entered, cradling Damian in her arms. Though only eleven, she effortlessly carried him, surprising the young boy as the sounds of scattering and screams echoed through the halls. The palace staff remained hidden, leaving only the formerly ruthless assassins to fall one by one to Ra's's fury.
Ra's: "Let's go after a man who's practically a God, who has spent countless years mastering numerous fighting styles and weaponry, and think we can harm his family." Brilliant strategy, truly. You’re all so clever, aren’t you?
He struck down another panicking member who hadn’t seen him in the shadows. Any assassin who dared to attack was met with the swift bite of his sword, sheathed at his side.
As panic spread, six members huddled together—four men and two women.
Sebastian: Where is he? WHERE IS HE?!
Mara: Keep your head down! He's aiming for the torches!
Henry: Our weapons... they’re missing! He’s using the darkness to mask his approaches!
John: Our only chance is to strike in the darkness. We know these halls! We can tilt the odds!
Ra's (from the shadows): You don’t think I know my own palace? I BUILT IT!
In a brutal flurry, Ra's slaughtered all six members. More deaths followed until he cornered the remaining foes in a room after they attempted to harm Talia and Damian.
Alvah (with a sword embedded in his chest, begging): Mer... mercy...
Ra's: Mercy? MERCY?! My mercy has long since drowned. It died to make me who I am. And as long as you're around. My family's fate is left unknown. You plotted to kill my grandson... You planned to RAPE MY DAUGHTER! ALL OF YOU ARE GOING TO DIE!
Ra's yanked the sword free and seized Alvah by the hair.
Ra's (coldly): You filled my heart with hate. All of you who've done me wrong. THIS WILL BE YOUR FATE!
In a swift motion, Ra's beheaded Alvah, his lifeless body crumpling to the ground, horrifying the remaining members. As they screamed in terror, Ra's and Talia dispatched the rest with ruthless efficiency.
Damian (hidden in a closet, whispering): I want to come out, but I feel like I’ve seen enough blood for a lifetime.
Talia: Oh, yes, stay there, tifl. Give us a few minutes to clean up!
Damian (surprised): Mmmkay... did grandpa save us?!
Talia (smiling at her father): I think he did.
Ra's (shaking blood off his sword): Don’t dwell on it. Just... no one harms my family. No strangers, and no foolish, wealthy simpletons. And don’t hug me!
Talia shrugged, giving her father a gentle pat on the shoulder. Ra's, now covered in blood, felt an odd sense of relief in having saved his family. He knew he was ruthless, but he felt justified—it was a necessary purging for the protection of those he loved. In his formative years, he had sworn he became softer with a grandchild, but this time around, he didn’t mind.
He actually doesn’t play video games… Just wants attention.
Okay hear me out. Batfamily, ugly Christmas sweater addition.
Bruce Wayne:
No doubt in my mind his children forced him into it. As soon as Dick mentioned wearing ugly sweaters on Christmas Day he found this monstrosity sitting in his closet. He chucked it out. He forgot about it. The next week it was back. He threw it out again. Two days passed. It was back. He tried shredding it, burning it, burying it in the backyard. It reappeared each time. Needless to say, it was still there on Christmas and he reluctantly wore it to the delight of everybody.
Jason Todd:
He wanted absolutely nothing to do with what Dick had planned… at first. Then he realised it was a great opportunity to piss Bruce off. Funny enough, it didn’t work as he hoped as Bruce was just happy he was there.
Tim Drake:
Wanted nothing to do with it and still wants nothing to do with it. Chose the first thing on the rack. Would’ve given Young Justice the chance to chose he sweater but he doesn’t trust them to NOT get him something horrendous.
Dick Grayson:
Planned this whole thing just to wear this monstrosity he found while doom scrolling on Instagram reels (he has adhd and is a millennial, he sure as hell isn’t on TikTok BUT dopamine go brrr). His siblings hate him. He loves it.
Damian Wayne:
This boy FOUGHT like one of those cats being forced into a costume. He clawed and begged and weaponised crying. Dick cackled at him until he had it on. He stayed on Dicks shoulders for the rest of the night. They did not talk for a month after.
He will stab anyone who brings it up.
Stephanie Brown:
Okay picture this in hot pink. She immediately locks onto some sort of meme when Dick mentions ugly sweaters. She finds this ugly ass sweater and steals Bruce’s credit card to get it.
Cassandra Cain:
Stephanie immediately calls Cass with plans. She happily agrees. She helps Steph steal Bruce’s credit card and proudly pulls Steph around to show the whole family their matching sweaters. A photo of them recreating the meme with their matching sweaters spreads around the web for at least a week.
Barbra Gordon:
Along with this sweater, Barbs places a USB stick containing a compilation of epic patrol failures in each of the Bat’s Christmas stockings. She wants to keep them on their toes (and adequately afraid of her). It is effective.
Duke Thomas:
Same vain as Steph. Instantly clocked in on memes and found this bad boy. Shows up with yellow temporary dye on his hair and old-lady sunglasses from the dollar store. Whenever he faces the slightest inconvenience he asks to speak to the manager. It becomes a bit where the manager changes each time and becomes crazier than the last.
Alfred Pennyworth:
Motherfucker would not wear a ugly sweater no matter how much the children begged. And the children did beg (Damian had to pull out the puppy dog eyes for this one). Jason was actually the fucker who made him cave pulling out all the stops, “it’s my first Christmas with everyone since I… you know.”, “it would be nice to have something special to remember it you know?”, “I remember my first Christmas in the manor. I just want to feel that happy again.”
Jason comes prepared with the sweater and Alfred knows he’s lost (but he doesn’t really seem to mind when he sees all the smiling faces on Christmas Day).
Batfamily Beauty and the Beast AU where Bruce is the beast and with every child he adopts he becomes slightly more and more human.
He finds Dick in the woods, sobbing over the loss of his parents. A year later, he looks in the mirror and wonders if he's only imagining that he's gotten shorter.
Jason sneaks into the castle and steals a loaf of bread, hungry and desperate. Bruce takes him in and offers him a proper meal. As he's putting his new son to bed one night, he notices that his claws have shrunk.
Tim marches into the castle and demands Bruce take him, knowing the stories of the monster who kidnaps children. Bruce's snout feels flatter than it used to when he presses a kiss to his forehead.
Cassandra lasts a full two weeks before anyone even notices she's there. The fur on Bruce's arms begins to thin as he holds her close, and she smiles up at him.
Tim brings home Stephanie, who loudly insists that she does not need nor want a new father. His skin grows less leathery, and the beginnings of crows feet appear on the corners of his eyes.
Damian is brought to them by Talia, rigid and wary of everything, convinced of his birthright as the Bat's heir. The fangs in Bruce's mouth seem to smooth over as he learns to gentle his speech.
The day Duke joins the family, still reeling from the plague that claimed his parents, something clicks. Bruce steps out, and before them stands a perfectly human man, finally made whole by his love for his children.
Omg I love this, why does this fit so well?
I made a thing!!
(I haven’t animated in forever but I don’t think i did half bad)
I might make an au of this if i have time
Commissioner Gordon: Batman and Rob- That is not the same kid.
Batman looked at his Robin (12 year old Jason Todd) as the kid stared at the bat signal.
Robin (amazed): That's the bat-signal... that's wild.
Batman (lying): You have no proof of that.
Gordon: The last Robin you had was nowhere near this short. That guy was at least 17 or 18 when I last saw him. He is close to filing taxes this one looks like he's just starting Middle School.
Robin (shrugging): He's not wrong.
Batman (slightly nervous): Um... Hold on I have a reason for this.
Robin (jokingly): Magic.
Robin chuckled at his joke as Batman shook his head with a smile.
Robin (with a different pitch in voice): I'm Robin, that's all you need to know.
Gordon: They don't even sound the same. They have different builds. You "adopted" another child?
Batman (offended): It's not weird, don't put quotes around adopted!
Gordon (concerned): It's weird.
Robin (indignant): Why does this bother you so much?
Gordon: What?
Robin (standing his ground): I'm Batman's vigilante, I am his voluntary vigilante, his sidekick. He took me in and cares for me. That's all you have to be informed about. I agreed to wear this suit that has to mean something. He's not a diddler if that's what you were wondering. I'm not crying, I'm standing next to this man in the cold, the Gotham cold, ready to fight crime. I'm built for this! If I had an issue I'd kick him in the balls and run. If this bothers you so freaking much ask the kid. Hi, I'm the kid. It's fine.
Batman (impressed): ...There you have it.
Gordon (taken back): Damn, geez sorry... Sorry.
Robin: It's cool, it's cool, I'm just warning you. You should know this by now. He works with people, said sidekick is a highly skilled and trained kid. If you see him standing with someone in a robin suit, do not be thrown off by that fact. People be like "Golly g willikers he has a kid sidekick". Yeah get over it!
Gordon (raising his hands to calm the child down): Okay, okay.
Robin: Thank you, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to walk around the roof and look at stuff while my partner talk to you.
Batman: Okay, stay on the roof.
Robin: Yes, sir.
Robin walked around the roof while looking off the ledge and being goofy.
Batman (appreciating his new son): Neat, right?
Gordon (annoyed): Yeah... neat was not the word I was thinking of.
First Robin Third Robin
Someone make a reblog with Damian doing it NOW
people don't talk enough about how fucking funny it is that bruce can sub in his kids as batman when he's too busy. like can you imagine it from the league's perspective? imagine you have this really mysterious, geniusly scary guy that you know next to nothing about, never cracks a smile and yet always comes out on top, and one day he shows up to a league meeting and there's just something... off. about him.
you can't pin it down because he's literally acting exactly the same as usual and there's no reason to think there's anything wrong, but maybe he shifted in his seat one to many times, or he looked just a tad bit too bored during green lantern's case review, but something's just... odd. so you quietly ask superman after the meeting if anything's up with the bat bcs you know those two are closer and also clark can hear heartbeats so if something's wrong surely he'll pick it up? and without hesitation he leans over to you and mumbles 'yeah batman was busy, that's his 17 yr old son. he's a crime lord and kills people sometimes though so we're not allowed to let him into the weapons department.' and then walks away like it's normal.
like the whiplash the league must go through every time they realise that no, this is not their fearless dark and brooding leader, this is in fact one of his dipshit kids being forced to sub in bcs the real batman broke an ankle, is incredible.
wonder woman: so that's my proposed plan, what are your thoughts batman?
batman: hn. i think that- *voice raising two octaves* oh shit hold on my phones buzzing
the league:
batman, answering the phone and immediately dropping the Bat Posture™: what do you mean- aw come on little wing that's not fair! but- no, NO DON'T YOU DARE TELL ALFRED I'LL BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU- IM SORRY OK I'LL BUY YOU MORE- *catches sight of the league watching him, baffled* *stiffens* ok listen i promise to replace them but i gotta go, please show me mercy iloveyoubye *hangs up*
the league:
batman:
batman: *coughs awkwardly*
superman: *sighs*
batman, to superman: ...red hood found out i ate his chocolate pretzels-
superman, shaking his head: just... just stop.
the flash: so this isn't batman either, is it?
wonder woman: if this one's also a criminal im losing my mind.
superman, tiredly: no no, this one isn't a criminal. this one's actually a cop.
batman: *sinks down in his seat* b's gonna kill me
green lantern, mystified: where does he keep GETTING you all from!?
'batman' dick, who made a pact with jason to Always Fuck With Bruce Whenever The Opportunity Arises: batman is a whore.
they think they've finally sussed out all 2 of batman's kids and then one day during a meeting 'batman' ends up on a 30 minute rant about different hacking methods this tech villain could be using that results in him half way through a sentence breaking off to say '-oh uncle clark could you pass me that pen- thanks, anyway so-' and then five minutes after that when the league have all been exchanging incredulous looks he finally freezes and is like. SHIT.
wonder woman: you're different from the other two, aren't you?
batman: maybe i am maybe i'm not, you can't prove it.
wonder woman:
green lantern: so like, are you new or have you just managed to avoid sub duty up until now?
superman, coughing: actually, this is this ones ninth occasion of replacing batman. you've just never realised before.
the league:
batman: yeah actually the other two are kinda mad i lasted longer than them...
the flash: how the fuck does he keep getting kids with the exact same build as him!??!?
'batman' tim, spent 20 minutes padding the suit out so he would look the part, still mad that bruce keeps palming WE work off on him: oh he forces us to take steroids for it.
the league, concerned:
superman, pinching the bridge of his nose: now come on red robin-
batman, fully tearing up and looking distraught: PLEASE uncle clark, it HURTS, you can't keep COVERING FOR HIM!
superman, frantically to the league: this one lies.
bonus
the league, squinting at batman:
the league: ...
superman: *head in his hands, too disappointed to do anything*
the league: *silently exchanging looks, wondering if anybody's brave enough to say anything*
duke as batman, fully aware this is fucking stupid but jason and tim fell on the floor laughing when dick came up with the idea and frankly, he wanted to see if anybody would have to guts to call him out: so, are we all ready to start the meeting?
Bruce's kids are all agents of chaos in different ways, the poor poor man
Bruce Wayne gets invited to the Ellen show. When he’s supposed to come out from backstage, a bunch of kids come running out instead, fighting to come out first. Damian is being dragged by Jason’s leg. Jason is holding Tim back by the hair. Dick tries to split everyone up. Babs is awkwardly waving at the camera. Steph joins in to try and set Tim free by climbing on to Jason. Cass is already sitting down in the sofa next to Ellen. Duke is silently patting Bruce on the back, still backstage.
Dick (Nightwing) and Jason (Robin) stare at Bruce. One sports pleading eyes, the other a shit eating grin. There’s a child between them with black hair and blue eyes.
Bruce, he doesn’t know what’s happening but he doesn’t like it: No.
Dick, grinning: He’s our younger brother now.
Jason, nodding seriously: You’re not gonna take him from us.
Tim, got kidnapped while taking photos of patrol, just happy to be there: Where’s the Batcave?
Bruce: what.
Dick, grinning wider: He’s ours now.
Fashion meme with the Batfam