Yknow How Lions Will Sometimes Pretend That Their Cubs' Biting Hurts And Stuff As A Form Of Encouragement

:)

The plight of a father of four boys

Batman (shouting, adopting an angry father voice): Why do you constantly make me angry and embarrass me?!

Nightwing looked at his brothers, who wore equally confused expressions. Batman groaned, his frustration evident, as he knew where this was heading.

Nightwing (waving his hands, exasperated): Batman, which one of us are you talking to?! Is it Red Hood?

Red Robin (pointing at the angry man, eager to deflect): It’s Red Hood, right?

Red Hood (denying, arms crossed): No, I don’t embarrass him. I annoy him! So it’s Red Robin, right? Because nobody likes him.

Robin (joining Red Hood's side, smirking): I agree!

Red Robin (spiteful tone, glaring): Oh, no, I know who it is. It’s the unwanted child, isn’t it?!

Robin (innocent, eyes wide): Why would you say that about Nightwing?

Nightwing (confused and defensive): What?!

Red Robin (pointing, voice escalating): No, I was talking about Robin Jr.! He knows I was!

Robin (shouting, angrily): Robin Jr.! Those are fighting words you knock off Timothée Chalamet!

Without warning, Robin pounced onto Red Robin's back, and they both tumbled to the ground in a flurry of limbs. Meanwhile, Nightwing and Red Hood started arguing, their verbal sparring quickly escalating into a physical altercation. Nightwing skillfully gained the upper hand, wrapping his arm around Red Hood’s neck in a headlock.

Batman sighed, feeling defeated, as he and Jim Gordon watched the bickering brothers. Jim couldn’t hide his amusement, much to Batman’s chagrin, a migraine already forming at his temples.

Jim (smirking): Hm, you know, I often forget you have like four or five kids. Which one were you referring to?

Batman (deadpan, rubbing his temples): All of them… All of them.

Jim (nodding, chuckling): Yeah, that tracks. Let them work it out of their system.

Batman (walking away, shaking his head): I usually do.

Jim (intentionally annoying the man): Hey, be thankful one of them isn’t a serial killer.

Batman (groaning, exasperated): Oh my god, it’s not a contest!

Au where Tim get revenge on his family by “dying.” His moral compass was shaken loose due to time with the league and he had enough festering anger that his internal voice wasn’t loud enough to tame his more feral tendencies. He didn’t plan on staying dead forever, just enough for his siblings to know how he felt.

His death was public, much like Bruces was. The League saw it happen as did the Bats. There was a body left behind and all tests showed it was absolutely Tim.

(Bruce was the first one to pick up on the similarities between his death and Tim’s, the first one to track him down, and the one who held Tim while he cried because he was so tired and Bruce realized there were not a lot of people Tim trusted to hold him back from his more extreme ideas. At his core Tim had always been a curious child with a lack of self restraint, a fact that was only further showcased during his time as Robin. Bruce would call the whole thing off if his son went to far, but honestly, Tim needed it out of his system now that he started so Bruce set ground rules and made Tim check in with him regularly).

The general plan was to convince the bats he was still alive. Outside of Cass and Bruce, Tim was the quietest. He was the hardest to spot. Damian was stealthy, yes, but his strongest skill was mimicry. So on night when certain bats were out and about he would dust off his stalking skills and follow them, keeping just in the corner of their sight and ducking into the shadows when someone turned to look towards him.

He would wordlessly step in the save his siblings who were overwhelmed and then disappear in a blink.

It was driving the bats out of the loop up the wall. Was this hallucinations or was this actually Tim? What was going on? And the JL who were checking in because it seemed to be one loss after the other for the bats were growing increasingly concerned.

Eventually Tim shows his hand. He’s had his fun, his self appointed isolation allowed him to reflect, and he figured his brothers had suffered enough. He just wanted them to know what it felt like.

After that, Bruce forcefully brought them into family therapy because that’s a healthy option and his time lost in time space allowed him to reflect.

Long story short, the bats eventually learn positive communication methods, and Tim got his revenge.

An eight year old Bruce Wayne summons Danny (who is 14 at the time, mind you) in the Wayne family manors attic.

Danny: please don't be a cultist please don't be a cultist please don't be a-

Danny:

Danny: That's a child. Why is there a child?

Bruce who honestly didn't expect his great great great great nth grandparents weird ass spellbook bullshit to work: [squinting at Danny in scrutiny] I thought the King of the Dead would be…taller.

Danny: Oh great and now I'm being insulted by a six year old. It's like Young Blood all over again, just more posh. And alive.

i think we've done a great job expanding the view of what a child's favorite animal can be. kids these days can say they love axolotls or pangolins or coelecanths and their decision is respected. maybe their parents can even find them a stuffed animal of it if they know where to look. and i think that's beautiful

Now this is my first time drawing Soundwave! My favorite solo mech :D

Fun BatThought of The Day

Because Bruce sometimes reverts to ‘Caveman Mode’ and really only the Batfam speaks fluent ‘monotone Batman grunt’ sometimes they like to overreact or exaggerate just to see if Bruce will correct them.

—

At JL meeting: *Green Lantern says something about a report*

Batman: Hn

Robin!Dick: Woah, B! Don’t use that kind of language! Relax, I’m sure GL didn’t mean it!

Hal: What, what’s happening, What’d he say? What’d I say?

Batman: Hn

Robin: *scandalized* BATMAN!

—

When the League meets Baby Robin(Dick), they are genuinely surprised, as it seems impossible that Batman is raising this little ray of sunshine who appeared from between his cape and then proceeded to greet them with the brightest smile they've all ever seen, completely adoring Superman, saying how great Wonder Woman is, and actually laughing at Barry's jokes.

Bruce takes care of his work, but occasionally stops to, in fact, help Robin who is trying to do his English homework. The other members also help out, of course.

So, Hal arrives at the Watchtower, and Robin, seeing the man his dad mentor has been so grumpy about because of the last meeting they had (Hal doesn't understand that Batman is the best at his job and is the one giving directions for a reason, duh!), decides he will exact revenge.

He carries on a normal conversation with the man just as he did with everyone else, subtly leading the topic until Hal falls into the trap:

Hal: What about your mom? I can't imagine anyone putting up with the old bat.

He speaks with all mockery, but then his smile freezes when he sees the tremor in the little boy's shoulders.

Dick: *shuddering and holding back a little sob* my mummy died in front of me a few months ago.... I...

Hal is pale now, because the child actually sobs, and runs off to hide in the cape of Batman, who was now standing, ready to stitch up his child.

He's not the only one, Superman and the others are already there too, looking at him angrily because he made the little bean cry.

Hal is in a panic.

And if he sees how the boy smiles at him when no one is looking, sticking his tongue out at him while moving his lips to send him the message "Don't bother my dad", no one would ever believe him, not while the little boy is now clinging to Batman tightly as he slowly blinks away tears that not even the best actors could ever pull off.

Only Hal knows the devil behind that angel face.

Batman knows it too, but he adores his precious little demon.

Damian pressed an ice pack to his swollen eye, the aftermath of a dodgeball incident at school earlier that day. The gym teacher had thrown the ball at him for "asking too many questions"—except they weren't even playing dodgeball! Frustrated, he stewed over his options, realizing he couldn’t handle this alone; if he involved his brothers, they might end up getting arrested.

Damian (talking to himself, realization dawning): Wait a minute, my parents don’t even know how awful this gym teacher is! I’ve never told them, but that’s… not right. They should know, or this failed track star nut case will keep getting away with it. I can’t let this swollen eye be for nothing!

With a sigh, Damian removed the ice pack and pulled out his phone.

Damian (while snapping a picture of his injury): I hope they’re not disappointed in me for not fighting back.

He quickly sent the picture to both his mother and father in separate texts, captioned: Look what the gym teacher, Coach Marley did to me.

Talia, upon seeing the picture, spluttered tea all over her living room couch in shock. Her face turned an irate shade of red as she trembled with rage.

Talia: Oh, hell no!

Without a moment’s hesitation, she bolted from her seat, hopped onto a jet, and flew toward Gotham. Meanwhile, Bruce’s reaction was more restrained, though he nearly crushed his phone with his grip.

Tim (calmly, carefully taking the phone from Bruce): Bruce… Bruce, you need to breathe. Give me the phone; let’s keep this evidence.

Bruce growled in frustration but managed to take a deep breath, clearing his throat to contain his fury. School was closed, and it was too soon to go storming in.

Bruce: I need a night to work through this rage. If I go to the school now, I am going to shout a lot of hurtful things in her face because I can't hit a them!

Tim: That’s probably for the best. Do you need any of us to step in?

Bruce: No, I’ll handle this… but I have to call Talia. Damn it.

Tim: Do what you gotta do.

The next morning in her office, Principal Lynn sipped her coffee, reviewing reports, when she heard the sharp clacking of heels approaching. Suddenly, her door was kicked in, and Talia stormed inside, dragging the gym teacher along with her and tossing her onto the floor. The teacher barely appeared conscious and was crying heavily, bruised and battered.

Talia (pointing fiercely at the gym teacher): Explain to me why this harlot has been abusing my child and getting away with it!

Principal Lynn: I—

Talia (raising her voice): I paid you a significant amount to keep my son at this school, and you allowed her to throw dodgeballs at my child for talking?! Explain yourself, knavess!

Principal Lynn: Um, I can explain—

Just then, Bruce arrived, catching his breath as he took in the chaotic scene before him: the gym teacher on the floor, Talia standing over her, and Principal Lynn looking terrified.

Bruce: That… that harlot needs to be fired and arrested!

Talia: Thank you!

Principal Lynn: Right, on it. I’ll call the cops. Just don’t hurt me like you hurt her!

Talia: Call the cops, then!

Nervously, Principal Lynn grabbed the landline phone and dialed 911 while the gym teacher attempted to scramble to her feet. Talia, quick as a flash, delivered a punch to the teacher’s head, sending her crashing down again.

Since we all agree that people of the Alley of Crime adore Red Hood and believe in him, I think it is time to imagine Jason in a scene similar to the one from OG Spiderman, where his identity is accidentally outted in front of crowd of people, and they all are just choose to protect him and help him out.

So maybe Gotham is facing especially nasty trouble, and vigilantes are on the receiving end this time. So maybe Jason is thrown at the dirty Alley in his part of town, wounded, with helmet flying off, and there is just a crowd of people staring as bleeds out, astonished. And Jason thinks, oh, that's the end — he can go and shoot himself, honestly, because he just failed the man rule every vigilante have: never show your face, never reveal your identity.

But people are... helping him? His eyes are half-open, breath laboured and pained, but all he hears is gentle murmuring:

'God, he is just a kid...'

'He must be younger than my son.'

'Poor child...'

He feels soft elderly hand against his cheek as someone from the crowd, an ex nurse, comes closer to bandage his injuries, while a kid, barely with the size of his helmet, brings it back, sticking out their tongue as they try to place it back on his head, to hide his face.

'It is okay,' the old woman reassures him. 'You are safe with us, son. We hadn't seen anything.'

Jason's eyes sting, because, oh.

It is his people. He loves them. He will die for them.

And they love him just as much.

He still waits for someone to out him, though. But the week ends, the villain is out of the picture, and no one says a thing. The only proof that it ever happened is civilians, who keep waving at Jason — not Red Hood, just Jason — when their paths cross somewhere in the shops or streets.

And that's how he knows that it is them; it is them, and they keep him safe as much as he keeps safe them.