EVERYONE NEEDS TO LOOK AT HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON UNTRAINABLE THE STAGE PLAY RN

"You're my son and I will always love and support you," Talia said, surprising her son. (i def got to expand on this fmr ao3 fic)

Talia picked up Damian from school, after showing proof she was his mother without using a weapon. She infomred Bruce of this after she had left the school with him and while he wasn't happy about it, Damian reassured his father he'll protect himself in case anything bad happens with his mother.

Although Talia wasn't there to convince him to join the league of assassins, she took him out for lunch, much to his surprise.

Damian and Talia sat together on the roof top of a random building eating vegetarian burgers.

Talia: This meatless burger isn't bad.

Damian (chewing): Told you. That place does a good job at making vegetarian burgers.

Talia (sincere): I'm so proud of you for sticking to your convictions on not eating meat and found good options like this.

Talia gave Damian a gentle pat on the head before returning to her burger. Damian focused on his feet, steeling himself as he prepared to ask his mother a question he had held in for years.

Damian: Mother... question.

Talia (turning to her son with a smile): Yes?

Damian: Do you see me as weak or inferior?

Talia (confused): Of course not, why would you ever wonder that?

Damian (hesitant): I... don't like killing, I don't eat meat, I like animals more than people. When I was living with you, you wanted me to be a better version of my father and Ra's definitely sees me as inferior. He sent it in a birthday card once.

Talia (rubbing her forehead frustrated): I knew I should've read that card before he sent it out.

Talia placed her burger on her lap and wiped her hands.

Talia: I battled through the same concerns with my father, and for the time you were with us I made the mistake of wanting you to be what Bruce refused to be. I look at those days with regret now and I am sorry for instilling that mindset in your head. As for grandpa, there's a big difference between me dealing with him and you dealing with him. Want to know what it is?

Damian: I'm triracial?

Talia (giggling): Yes, but I'm your momma, all that matters is what I think of you! Not Ra's. That man is a strict, mostly unhinged man with a god complex and while I do love him very much, I wouldn't take what he says to heart, tifl. I like the young man you are... You've never given me a reason to be disappointed in you. He looks down on my son? I will deal with him accordingly and have in the past. I love you because I see that you aren't weak. You're making your own path. When I let Bruce keep you, it wasn't simply to get you away from my father, it was because even though I don't agree with Bruce's no-kill rule, he's a man that can raise you to be a good man. That man may be traumatized, but him and his family are a support system I knew would be right for you.

Damian: Is that why you keep stalking him and trying to get back with him?

Talia: That and I want to get rid of the no-kill rule. I'll admit I'm crazy in love with that man, but do you think if I keep trying he'll change his mind and join the league.

Talia playfully elbowed her son on the arm making him laugh.

Damian: Sorry to tell you, but you'll lose that battle.

Talia shrugged with a smile.

Talia: Then I still have you and he... has you. We love who you are. I will ask you one question though, do you see yourself as weak or inferior?

Damian (shaking his head): No, I can beat Superman if I get the right tools.

Talia: Then you're doing good in life and if Ra's says anything to make you doubt yourself, please go to me.

Damian nodded with a smile.

Talia: I am at a point in my life where I love you far too much to be upset that you make decisions I don't always agree with. My father hurt you, I hurt you, and you never got a say on who you wanted to become. Bruce may not be perfect, but he was the best man to take you in. But Damian, I never want you worry that I think of you as a weak imitation of either of us. Okay?

Damian (nodding with a small smile): Mm... um... mother?

Talia: Yes?

Damian: I... love you. Even when you're a smother mother.

Talia: And I love you more.

Talia planted a kiss on her son's cheek, and Damian leaned his head against her shoulder, bringing a smile to her face. She might be a villain, but her love for her son was unwavering; she would never do him any harm.

Cryptid Bruce is awesome

Cryptid Bruce

Martha and Thomas Wayne struggled to have a child for years and Thomas meets a shady man who tells him that a child will come to them soon

Thomas just ‘??? okaaaaaay’s him but in a week, Martha bursts into his office looking frazzled

“We’re being haunted.”

“….”

“Don’t give me that look, Thomas Wayne. The Manor. It’s haunted. Alfred! Tell him we’re being haunted!”

And Alfred comes in, also looking frazzled but to a lesser degree.

The two explain that things are moving around the Manor without any kind of explanation, but Thomas doesn’t believe them. Until he notices things in his office also being moved. The weirdest event is when they start hearing a child’s giggles. No explanation. None.

Not until Thomas, sleep deprived after going over paperwork for one too many hours, pops into the kitchen and…there is a child. Sitting on the kitchen counter.

The child, a boy, turns. Grins. Waves.

“Hi, daddy.”

—

Bruce, they name him, can melt into shadows. He finds it hilarious. Martha thinks she’s going to go grey at her young age. She adores him. Thomas adores him. He’s their son now.

The Waynes have a mysterious child, but they keep their private lives very private, so maybe they just successfully hid a pregnancy? And then a child. For…three years. They think Bruce is three, at least.

Despite how odd of a child Bruce is, they love him dearly. He’s some kind of miracle. A…very weird, possibly magical(?) miracle.

—

Dick thinks his adoptive father is strange. Extremely strange. Bruce makes absolutely no noise when he moves. He doesn’t cast shadows but he seemingly is able to *blend into them*. His smile, whilst genuine, seems a little too sharp.

He thinks he’s a vampire.

Bruce laughs so hard, he doubles over.

“No, but I am the Batman, so I guess you’re not far off.”

“…is this a joke?”

“Nope.”

“A dream?”

Bruce pinches him and Dick yelps.

Bruce doesn’t explain to Dick what he is, because he doesn’t have a clue himself. He just…is.

—

But when Jason comes along, he has a million and one questions. Bruce blinks at him.

“How did you do that? You literally *melted* into the shadows!”

Bruce shrugs.

“No. *No*. Explain.”

“I…can’t.”

“You said no secrets, B!”

Bruce puts his hands up defensively. “It’s not a secret! I really don’t know! It just…kind of happens.”

Jason stares at him. Bruce stands there. He seems to flicker? The edges of his body go a bit transparent and Dick knows he only does that when he’s stressed.

“Leave him alone, Jay. He’s telling the truth. He’s just…like that. But he’s still Bruce.”

It takes Jason two months to accept it. By then, his questions are more from genuine intrigue and wonder. He hides under Batman’s cape and somehow it’s spacious? It can even fit Dick at the same time. No one (but Bruce) can even hear them when they’re under there.

And then one day, when he goes to take a nap under Bruce’s cape, someone else is there.

“….B?”

“…”

“You know what I’m going to ask.”

“…”

“*Bruce*.”

“No real names, Robin.”

“No one can hear me!”

“…I didn’t kidnap him.”

“What his name?”

“Timothy Drake.”

“FROM DRAKE INDUSTRIES?”

And Tim wakes up, rubbing his eyes. He looks exhausted and way too skinny, and all of a sudden, Jason understands why Dick has cooed at him the first night Bruce brought him home.

“Um…hi.”

“B, we’re keeping him.”

Jason doesn’t need to see Bruce’s face to know he’s smiling.

—

Damian just…appears. Bruce suddenly understands his parents’ reactions to his first appearance because nearly the same exact thing happens. Bruce wakes up from a nap. He doesn’t need to sleep very often, something Tim finds incredibly annoying, declaring it to be *unfair*. He wakes up, and curled against his chest is…a boy. Who looks a *lot* like him.

“Uh.”

The child wakes up, blinks at him w striking green eyes.

“Hello Father.”

What the fuck.

Dick slams his way into Bruce’s office, followed by Jason and Tim, who are bickering with each other.

“DAAAAAAAD, THEY WON’T SHU- oh. Steal another kid?”

“…he just appeared.”

“That’s the excuse you used for Jason.”

“No. Literally. I fell asleep. No kid. Woke up. Kid.”

“My name is Damian.”

“That’s no fair. You came pre-named?”

Damian is as odd as Bruce. Actually, he’s weirder. And stabby. Bruce finds him *delightful*. He adores him.

—

Dick is Nightwing, Jason is Red Hood (no death, he just thought it was a cool name), Tim is Red Robin, and Damian’s Robin.

Bruce is Batman. Despite being in his late 30s, he still looks like he’s in his mid 20s.

—

Batman stands in front of a bank robber who’s going on about their evil bank robbing plans. Nightwing pops his head out from beneath Batman’s cape.

“Can you get to the point?”

Red Hood pops out next.

“I’m getting bored.”

Red Robin follows.

“This is sad.”

Damian.

“Scum.”

Batman sighs.

“Why are all of you here?”

“Missed you.”

They all chime in.

The robber.

“How…how the *fuck-?*”

“Language. There are kids around.”

“B, I’m 23.”

“Says the boy taking a nap in my cape. And I was talking about Red Robin and Robin.”

“…’s comfy.”

“I’m eighteen???”

“F- Batman! I am not a child!”

There’s some shuffling sounds, no doubt Red Hood moving over to ruffle Robin’s hair.

“Whatever you say, Tiny Demon.”

And then Red Hood shrieks.

“No stabbing your brothers, Robin.”

“He called me small!”

“…you are.”

“This is insulting, F- Batman. I will grow to be as big as you. No. *Bigger*.”

The robber watches in confusion, mild amusement, and horror.

Batman sighs.

“We’ll talk about this later. Now, you were saying? Blowing up the bank, terrorizing the people.” Batman yawns. “Anything else?”

“Just take me to Arkham. I think I’m insane.”

Look, normally I wouldn't dare touch smth other then Greatsword, but Anjanath has no right being such a bastard or having that kinda attitude for being an Act 1 monster so I'll make an exception

Tim Drake probably got into fights at school, but he didn't start the fights, he'd finish them. He'd also get away scott free.

People think that they can ruin the Drake's name with their kid getting into fights and causing problems, but no. They encourage him to do these.

Janet had a firm stance in her belief to have the upper hand, so he'd never get in trouble, because she'd blackmail and/or grill into the principal so hard they had to let him go and give the other kid(s) punishment.

Jack had one solid rule, don't start a fight, finish it, and always win. He enforced it by having occasional spars with Tim whenever he could and signed Tim up for all kinds of martial arts to make sure he knew how to fight.

Janet signed him up for whatever else extracurriculars he wanted(ballet, gymnastics, theater, art, vocal coaching, instruments, figure skating, track, etc.).

So just imagine, Tim Drake, publicly known to get into and win so many fights but with no prior context is seen as a trouble maker till they see how well behaved he is. They talk badly about him though, how much of a bad kid little Tim Drake who physically looks like his father but has the face and acts exactly like Janet when he speaks and leads.

And then his parents die and he doesn't cry. They think he's an even horrible kid for not caring about his parents' death even though he's torn.

And then he becomes a Wayne and his reputation, which only Alfred and Bruce know, brings the Wayne name down.

And then he becomes CEO of Wayne Enterprises and everyone expects him to be just like Bruce. What they don't expect is Janet Drake 2.0 when it comes to getting his way and the way he acts or Jack Drake 2.0 with his outstanding leadership and ideas and proposals and what not.

When the rest of the Waynes find out about his reputation, they don't believe it till they see it for themselves.

It's probably at a gala or some sorts. A socialite is being inherently racist towards Damian and talking about how bad of a kid he is. Tim is not standing for it.

"Oh I'm sorry!" he says just a but too loudly to get the attention if everyone in the place, "Would you care to finish that vile comment about my brother? That he was a what now."

"I do, in fact. Perhaps after everyone hears this you Waynes will do better to control that little devil and his unnatural brow-"

The socialite doesn't even get to finish his sentence when Tim karate chops their neck, making them choke(literally) in their own words.

"Oh what was that? Did someone who is actively cheating on their own wife with the underage heir of another company be racist towards my underage and tri-racial brother? Sorry? Did a pedophile defiling the 15 year old daughter of the Miller's family say my 11 year old brother's skin was the sign of the devil? Hm?"

No one says a word, even as they watch Tim twist his words and spill out every secret and dirty fact about the socialite.

They don't even stop him as they watch him beat the crap out of the person with out even trying when said person tries to throw hands with Timothey Jackson Drake, publicly known for getting into fights and winning as well as being graduated from every martial arts class in Gotham ever.

Police were involved, headlines were made, the Miller heir was no longer seen in public and her younger sibling was pronounced heir, and Tim Drake, not Wayne, got off without a scratch, repercussion, or warning.

Damian has never felt an older siblings' loving protection more than he did when he saw Tim grill that socialite. He s never felt more respect for the guy before. And suddenly Dick was lower on the sibling scale.

He was lower on the sibling scale for everyone. Good by #1 sibling Dick Grayson and hello Tim Drake.

Have a problem? Someone's mean or is picking a fight? Don't worry, Tim Drake's there.

Drake is more noticeable than Wayne when it comes to Tim, and everyone finds it out the hard way.

Canon can suck my dick off.

The Drake name isn’t Jack’s, it is Janet’s. She came from a successful family who went for generations being the best of the best, and she wasn’t going to give up on her last name when she married a man not quite as successful as her. So Drake took the Drake name.

Everything that Tim has that belonged to the Drake name? It’s Janet’s, not Jack’s, never Jack’s.

Hilariously funny that they let the guy known for wandering off without warning to look at birds was allowed to do this

Yes, absolutely

Listen I’m telling you every time I look at Soundwave’s alt mode in One I just keep seeing really cool swords, so know he has really cool swords. My excuse? It’d be cool, cuz swords, but also: SG Soundwave is knighted and has a sword of his own so 🙄 anyways I just really needed to get this thought out, cuz otherwise I never would’ve stopped thinking about it (I had the slight idea to make it so his shoulder cannon would unfold into half n half so they’d be the handles of each sword but I got lazy, so just imagine that happens probably)

"Is he okay?" Scarecrow, of all people, asked with concern.

Scarecrow observed the third Robin crossing the fear toxin-laced streets without a mask, his expression vacant and distant. Yet, it was clear that Tim wasn't under the influence of the toxin; instead, he had mentally retreated within himself.

Scarecrow (British accent): Hey, kid you've been breathing in my fear toxin for a few minutes. I usually relish this, but you're not screaming or crying. Everything good?

Robin: My dad just died, called me to tell me he loved me... I found his bloody corpse. No time to save him. I have since accepted that life is meaningless. I have nothing to fear because what's to fear when the people you love are dead and gone... what's the point to keep going when you can give up on life?

Scarecrow (analyzing the Robin): Deep depression from the loss of a parent is typical. This sadness will pass with time. Yet, the toll it takes on his spirit may leave scars that last far longer than the grief itself.

Robin (blinking quickly): There's no passing except both of them being dead. I feel nothing. There's no joy in anything, being happy, the moments with your parents, all gone. I embrace my sadness like a long lost lover.

Scarecrow (concerned): Right, right, where's Batman? You should go with him and rest for the night.

Batman walked over to Robin and placed one of the masks on his face then turned him away to head to the car.

Batman: You can sit this one out, okay? You're going through a lot and I don't want you to go insane from the toxin.

Robin (monotone): There's toxin? I wasn't aware, my whole life is nightmare.

Robin walked away while whisper singing a jazz song his father played for him once.

Robin: My lovin' daddy left his baby again/ Said he'd come back but he forgot to say when...

Scarecrow (calling out): Hey, kid I may be clinically insane, but don't give up on life. It'll get easier.

Robin waved his hand faintly while walking through the toxin fog to find the car, but his mind would rather stay outside and inhale the toxin and if it wasn't for Batman, he'd sit on the ground and breath the fear toxin deeply into his body.

Scarecrow: You're going to give him the usual antidote, correct?

Batman (nodding): Yeah, sorry about that, he's usually... not acting like me on a bad day.

Scarecrow: Seems he lost his father in a truly horrific manner. I'm guessing, which makes it hilarious to me, but I imagine a normal sane minded person would be shell shocked after it all settled in. He masks in front of others as a defense mechanism?

Batman: Yes, he masks it well with his friends, but when he's with me... that happens and I can not handle it.

Scarecrow (crossing his arms): He's continuing to fight crime with you which is admirable. Working is better than laying around all day. Grief can hinder progress in life, so you just have to keep moving. Be there for him, in times of grief a good support team helps bring the person back to normal.

Batman: Tsk... I forget you were a professor of psychology before you went insane, uh thanks. Can I just take you down and arrest you early then?

Scarecrow: Yeah, sure mate. I saw a young man who is reeling from his father's death and while I wish him the best, that's satisfying enough for me.

Batman glared at the man and punched him unconscious.

Batman (aggravated): You had to keep being an asshole, huh? Couldn't be nice for the entire conversation? Figures.

DPxDC Legal Power

Batman: You can not punish the Joker

Batman: You are no judge, jury, and executioner

Danny Fenton, standing over Joker's beaten body: Actually, I am

Danny Fenton, raising the Creep Stick up: I am the High King of Infinite Realms, and this bitch has been resurrected more than once

Danny Fenton, smacking Joker like a piñata: With the use of a pool of some nasty smelling ecto, mind you, but it puts him under my jurisdiction nonetheless

Danny Fenton, smiling at Batman as Joker is wheezing and trying to crawl away: So I am the judge, jury, and executioner for him since I'm the highest power in a Realm where he is a denizen

Danny Fenton, catching the Joker by the ankle and dragging him back: And as the King, I hereby sentence him to death by a repetitive use of The Creep Stick over his whole body

Batman: ...

Red Hood, with a bowl of popcorn: Do you mind switching The Creep Stick for a crowbar?

Dick in Gotham handling a hostage situation at a local university. Some villain crashed a party in the student apartments and has the whole building locked down. Dick is in there with Damian, and they finally make it to the floor where the bad guy is and they’re having this big tense stand off before the final fight…

and then one of the college students who this guy had huddled in the corner grabs a chair and just fucking clocks this guy. He hits him over the head so hard that the chair breaks and the guy COLLAPSES. Dick is like . Oh??

And then the student turns around (with a truly unhinged glint in his eye) and Dick recognizes him and realizes OH . Oh this is Tim’s boyfriend. That’s the crazy guy who recruited us to go beat up cultists with him. Yeah we didn’t even need to come he had that handled actually