Adorable

Dick: So, you know how I’m part of an online circus?

Jason: What the actual hell is an online circus?

Dick, exuberant: It’s like... an on-demand Cirque du Soleil! People book us for events—birthdays, concerts, whatever—and performers log in from all over the world.

Jason: ...so you have clowns.

Dick, visibly sweating: Well, it’s more than clowns! We have aerialists, jugglers, fire-eaters—

Jason, standing up, looming over Dick: But you have clowns.

Dick, desperate backpedal mode: Technically, yes. But they’re like artistic clowns. Highbrow. Minimal honking.

Jason: Minimal honking? You’re telling me there’s still honking?

Dick, defensive: Controlled honking. Tasteful honks only.

Jason, crossing his arms: Joker-level honks?

Dick, horrified: Joker doesn’t even have a clown permit! He’s not qualified.

Jason: He went to clown school.

Dick: No, he shot up a clown school. That’s different.

Jason, sitting back down: You know why this pisses me off.

Dick, quietly: Yeah, I do.

Jason: It’s weird, right?

Dick: Super weird.

Jason: Sometimes I feel like you should be more messed up about clowns. Like, my level of messed up.

Dick: I know, bud.

Jason: It’s just... I feel alone in this whole clown thing.

Dick: You’re not alone. Gotham as a whole has a no-clown policy. Did you know circus clowns refuse to work here?

Jason: Of course. Otherwise, your little e-circus would’ve been torched.

Dick: By Joker?

Jason, thinking about that one time he shot up a department store window for displaying clown shoes: Uh... yeah. Yeah, Joker.

Dick: Well, for what it’s worth, you’d be great in the online circus.

Jason, deadpan: You saying I’m a clown?

Dick, grinning: No, but you are a high-value performer. People would pay top dollar to see Red Hood juggle guns.

Jason, pulling a gun from his holster and spinning it effortlessly: You mean like this?

Dick, mock clapping: Bravo! Now add some honking, and you’re ready for the big leagues.

Jason, standing up, gun still in hand: You have three seconds to run.

Dick, already halfway out the door: for the record, I'm a performer, so this retreat is performative and just to keep you happy-slash-entertained

Jason: get out!

Soundwave. Overworked. Underpaid. Underappreciated.

”Soundwave put a gag on that one” “Soundwave read that guy’s mind” “Soundwa—“ I KNOW they drive him crazy the way he’s the only competent one, wouldn’t be surprised if the rest of the high guard often goes to him for most problems (esp when they’re like “I TOLD you it wasn’t tight enough” or “that just means he believes himself” y’all omg then don’t tell him to do stuff if you’re just gonna say he did it wrong 😭)

And so this is how Soundwave copes with the stress

Guests at a gala notice that Brucie Wayne is surprisingly jacked. Like, a suspicious amount of muscle for a CEO who lives a life of luxury and doesn't do any physical labour. An amount of muscle that goes beyond "works out to stay fit and look good". And when he's asked about this by a gossip columnist guest he panicks (he's running on 2 hours sleep) and says "It's so I can pick up my kids!"

Now everyone is looking at his kids. Cass and Tim are tiny at 5’ 5 and 5' 7. Damian is still a kid and he's also small. Dick is bigger, but picking him up wouldn't require that much muscle. Maybe Duke, who is still growing but looks like he could be about Bruce's height when he's fully grown? Maybe him?

Then Jason officially returns from the dead. And everyone looks at the 6' 4, 260lbs walking double fridge and goes "Ahhh, ok then."

How Catwoman treats the old Robins sometimes

Catwoman: Nightwing, how's my first Robin doing? Aww, you still got that cute face. Or should I say handsome, look at that smile.

Nightwing (smiling): Aww, thank you.

Catwoman: Here you go.

Catwoman handed Nightwing fresh brownies. He took them happily. Catwoman then walked over to Red Hood.

Catwoman: Red Hood.

Red Hood (nod): Selina.

Catwoman: Are you better mentally or are you going to shoot me?

Red Hood (shrugging): Don't want to waste the bullets.

Catwoman (patting the man on the shoulder): Same bratty charm. I missed that, glad to have you back.

Catwoman walked off to head back to Batman. Red Hood looked at Nightwing eating the brownies and snatched one away.

Nightwing: Hey! You can't eat any, you have a helmet on.

Red Hood: I'm saving it for later.

Wait no this makes sense actually. Like legitimately makes sense, doesn't fully explain how he knows the location of Dragon Island to be fair but then again he may have learned it so he could avoid getting too close and falling under the Red Death's influence.

Rewatching httyd and I think I’m realizing something about Nightfuries.

So, Toothless spits up half the fish that Hiccup gave him. A kind of act of goodwill to reciprocate Hiccup’s. He does it again later after Test Drive.

It’s not something other dragons do when say, feeding the queen, because a Gronkle does the same and gets eaten. Sure, it could just be that it wasn’t enough for the queen, but we also know something about Nightfuries.

They don’t take food. It’s in the opening dialogue about them.

If a Nightfury took nothing back to the queen, I’m sure they’d be eaten too. But Toothless shows up, somewhat late, with the first pack of dragons that attack the village.

I think he followed the dragons because they were flying somewhere together, not because he was under orders from the queen.

So I think Nightfuries are meant to be pack hunters. They work together and feed each other.

He bonds to Hiccup very fast, and even when he could kill Hiccup, he doesn’t. Like when Hiccup lets him go. Like the very first flight when Hiccup attaches just the tail fin.

And sure, we know that dragons can tell when you mean harm and have weapons, but the Monstrous Nightmare still almost killed Hiccup in the beginning despite being unarmed.

Anyways, based on this evidence, I think Nightfuries are meant to be pack hunters, and the fact they are solitary is a tragedy. They’ve been wiped out that it changes their entire ability to exist with other dragons.

(And for the little dragons that come and steal his food, they’re not part of his pack. That’s why he defends his food. It’s like a lion protecting food from hyenas.)

Edit: OH, AND it’s a great reason why he’s so adept at enforcing boundaries and keeping the peace between pack members. It’s innate. Like wolves, they have to manage everyone’s emotions and actively try to avoid fights and de-escalate.

imagine Batman had to take care of the rest of the Justice League members after a magic user turned them into toddlers/ kids

Bruce: *warms Clark's bottle*

Bruce: *sets Diana in a playpen*

Bruce: *burps Hal*

Bruce: *changes Ollie's diaper*

Bruce: *puts Barry on a child leash*

Bruce: *gives Arthur a bath*

Bruce: *puts J'onn in a Martian onesie*

Bruce: *gives Vic a green teddy bear*

Bruce: *sings Dinah a lullaby*

Bruce: *plays peek-a-boo with Zatanna*

Bruce: *holds a baby photoshoot for Carter and Shayera*

Bruce: *downloads Little Einstein for Ray*

Bruce: *puts an iPad in front of Ted*

Bruce: *starts training Billy to be Robin*

[later, back to normal]

Ollie: We're gonna pretend we don't remember all that?

Everyone: Yep.

Bruce not experiencing Damian’s baby and toddler years was probably for the best, because can you imagine how sickeningly sweet and positively over-the-top he would’ve been?

Damian would’ve been dressed in those adorable animal, character, and theme onesies. Halloween? Pumpkin that baby. Christmas? Lil baby angel outfit. Hanukkah? You’re a latke now, sweet boy. It’s Tuesday? Guess you’re a starfish today, baby. A limitless amount of adorable, ridiculous outfits.

And don’t let the facade of high-society sophistication and propriety fool you—Bruce would’ve been calling that baby everything but his name. Stinky man, my lil boo boo, baby boy, sweetheart, goober. When Damian sees a cow for the first time and goes “moo”? Guess your name’s Moo Moo now. What? I could just call him Dami? No, thank you. His name is Squish today. He will be Chubby Bunny tomorrow. No, I am not taking notes or suggestions.

Randos trying to touch or hold Damian? Be prepared to catch a whole Batfamily’s worth of hands. No, don’t look at my baby—bitch, I said don’t look at my baby. See, you looked at him, and now I have to buy your whole life on a discount. Look at what you made me do.

You know the dread you feel when you see the villain/monster of a horror movie just standing out in the open? Waiting for the protagonist/main character to see them?

Sometimes Bruce does that as Batman — waits directly underneath a streetlight, or in the center of a day-lit alley. Waiting for their eyes to slip past him, only to dart back to his chest, shoulders, and head in sudden, trembling terror.

Because it’s not about hiding. It’s about being seen. About intentions being unmistakable, until the criminals find themselves wishing for the uncertainty of shadows again. Darkness, instead of the dead-eyed, blunt obviousness of daylight.

Batman: "Suspect's headed down eighth street. I'll let you know when we have him"

Gordon: "Wait, if you're here, who's in pursuit of the suspect?"

Batman, getting out his grapple gun: "Robin."

Gordon, having heart palpitations. "The eight year old?? Can he even look over the dash?" *realizes Batman's gone* "All units be advised, clear the road for the Batmobile."

Dispatch: "No need for that, Batmobile hasn't left anything to clear."

Gordon: *downs BP meds* "10-4."

the lego batman movie reads like it was written by jason and tim mocking bruce and dick, like you can’t tell me the batjokes isnt there to piss bruce off, courtesy of tim, or the whole scaly panties thing isn’t jason making fun of the robin uniform