I’ve Been Working On One Writing Project For A While And Another One Is Sneaking Up On Me And The Only

i keep realizing how much i need to find things to do and people to do them with

i’m struggling bc all i’ve done in the past is be social when i’m around people and then just stay inside doing my own thing otherwise

and it’s just leading to me seeing friends occasionally and spending all the rest of my time in my dorm being lonely and unsure of how to get to the point of doing stuff

i was going to write today

in other news i found a really fun way to play monster hunter

guitar?

you can switch between preset fingerings with number keys and play individual strings with qwerty

the song ive been practicing most is home from undertale and its pretty simple

the main difficulty is playing the strings with one hand while switching presets with the other

strumming is probably easier

i’ve been playing guitar in webfishing lobbies and now i’m making friends with people?????

i love the webfishing community

it’s also kinda screwing with my brain (as good games do)

i just saw some people carrying some stuff into a truck and my brain was immediately like “hey you should go help them” because you just kinda do whatever there is for work and people pay you

oh my god citizen sleeper is such a good game i don’t even know where to start

i don’t want to talk about how many hours of wilds i’ve played since it came out but wow

finished the bottom if one paw!

i need to work on other things too and this keeps distracting me

I really want to get back into making youtube videos but i just have no idea what to do

what do i make

how do i get people to actually find my channel

i’m getting frustrated about this at this point and i just want to make things again

my apartment might just be the worst sleeping situation i’ve ever had. my mattress is a box spring that should’ve been replaced years ago. it’s fucking concave. i sleep on my front usually but that’s not really possible unless i want to be sleeping bent backwards. also the outside of the mattress is so fucked that with just a fitted sheet over it the springs are still digging into me. i had a box spring mattress last year it was so much better than this (not good but still way better) and the only way this mattress is remotely ok is if i put my thickest blanket on top of the mattress and sleep on that

so it takes me a while to fall asleep

but then there’s a construction site across the street from me that starts work at FIVE THIRTY IN THE FUCKING MORNING and is EXTREMELY LOUD

i’m going to go insane

asking your robotgirl if she wants to make out and she giggles in her cute little modulated synthetic voice and takes your hands in hers, warm silicone holding your fingers delicately even though you've seen her crush oranges in those hands, and you hear some servos whirring as her entire face opens like a mechanical flower, giving you access to the long, sensitive connector cable that sits where her tongue should be and is just as prehensile

i just had a family dinner and people were talking about their dogs for a bunch of it and the whole time i was thinking about HDG and thinking about it like affini talking about their florets and i had to like physically restrain myself from saying anything

i am losing it