Love Wind

Vhsige

Waves, like eye worms float in my field of view, fixed on a point. The point is the image of a woman, every strand of hair its own entity of woman. Brushed perfectly, my feelings brushed perfectly, as I lie in bed I watch her hair fall over me, I feel it in my sleep when I dream and a million fingers grace my cheeks. Her gentle curve is an image, like an image on a curved screen so smooth it isnt real. Im depressed again. I do not love the woman but the lines, the static, the electricity between us. If i touched her she would shock me, make my heart stop beating. I don't know who she is and I'm afraid to find out. I want her image, to be her image, and let the humanity left slip away. Perhaps you may feel it one day on our tape, when you play the tape. When you hold a finger over the TV screen and feel that familiar fuzz you had forgotton. A memory you can't quite reach? That is my hand reaching out to touch yours, but never reaching.

Social Suicide

My life is worthless to you, small and insignificant yet you try so hard to extinguish me. I come out as a furry in high school you say:

Social Suicide

My heart sinks. Have I thrown everything away? Is it my fault I'm a furry? My fault I'm an outcast? My fault I'm autistic? My fault im depressed...its so silly, spoken aloud. My problems, clouds. Soft and dreamy, just a little less sun and im weak and weary...

Social Suicide

They are your words, not mine. So worried of others that you've already died. Maybe you are the one who has killed oneself to fit in? I had no friends then, but when will you have a true friend when your already dead?

Social Suicide

You were just trying to warn me, however misguided...why cant we be carefree...why must we die to belong, to belong inside our own homes, found families, find our own roads? Why can't i let you go? Why cant i commit?

Social Suicide.

Imagine your about to get into a serious fight

You: "Cry about it!" (Condecending):

Them: "This is serious. You arent listening!"

Or

You "Cry about it." (Sincere):

Them "Oh okay. I...i dont know how to respond to this. Should I cry about this? Maybe id feel better.

Im just saying id be so disarmed if someone commanded me to cry in a sincere way, compared to if they were just snarky. Like id be so disarmed if a stranger said that. I mean like actual sincere care though. I dunno what that means, maybe just whatever makes people go like "holy shit" when you say something to them.

It seems espeically difficult with a stranger. But really charasmatic characters can do that a lot. Maybe I misread it.

-All dogs are good dogs

Yes this is true

-All cops are bastards

Most definitley

-Police dogs?

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I was there

Right there

I was simply, in heaven

And I felt nothing

And everything was ok.

What is love?

Shut the fuck up

You silly poet

I do not need to yearn for love

Love is nothing

Instead I lie with my lover

I fart

He tells me its okay

Then he farts

Life is at peace

Life is perfect

Thinking about this time this dude in NYC was peddling his rap album to me and he was trying to gas me up, something to the effect of

"You know what I mean right, you (my dick) pretty big."

And i was like

"No."

Cover art idea for Zoomies, my furry zine. Its based on the shit you see out of state, a dead raccoon, with a motherfucking "get well" balloon--

A cold icy river

The Wired

Present Day.

Present time

To me differently

Where the past isnt so far away

Words like rock;

Fill out fossils of my soul.

Fill out the fossils

Of my fucking soul

Fossils like old computers.

Soul like the humm and buzz

Of a CRT TV.

Sounds like telephone poles.

Words carry

Over a billion telephone poles

Is my conciousness real

Or theirs?