The Hunt Of Joker | DC X DP

Sometimes I start thinking, thinking about myself, and then I realize, why do I feel like I could cry about it?

I mean, I'm not very good at acting, at least as far as I know, but I'm good at lying in the moment, I can cry if I talk like the victim, like the person who needs to be pitied, it's strange, because now I just thought about a situation where I feel like I could cry, and I felt like my eyes were getting ready to cry, actually, I'm trying to cry right now, it's working to a certain point, they're just getting watery, but no tears are coming out, I guess the words are the activator, how curious, the last time I cried for almost two days because of something stupid, once a crybaby always a crybaby, or I guess it was just me

MasterList:

Alice in Gotham:

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

I will let you know when the whole story eventually gets posted on Ao3. I'm still deciding on whether I should flush out the first 4 chapters in the full version or leave it as is. For now, I'm aiming to do around 10 ish chapters for the full story or so. When it's ready I'll add the link here.

More Pet AU (click for clarity)

Or what if the Phantom siblings were cursed into pets and the Batkids found them.

Jazz is a borzoi/Russian wolfhound, Dan is a Turkish boz shepherd, Danny is a Turkish angora, and Dani is a calico cat. When the Dannies transform, Dan’s colors get inverted, Danny is a tuxedo cat, and Dani’s fur turns full black.

Inspiration:

Tim doesn't know how he got here.

Sitting in Aquarium's office, holding a sniffling 4 year old little girl named ellen Nightingale on his lap with her head snuggling against his chest, nibbling on a Whale shaped cookie after all they both got lost.

He only looked away for a moment, and Bruce and the batfam dissappear on him while he was anazyling the heavier coffee choices at one of the Aquarium's coffee places.

Only to come out with a combination coffee that cost him 18 dollars more and nearly instinctly kick a teary eyed 4 year old Ellen that lost her mommy and mistook him as him, clinging to his leg out of the blue.

Apparently, Ellen got distracted by a cart vendor holding cute whale cookies while her mommy was talking to her big brother danta about not biting the birthday girl's older sister even if she being rude and now she lost, and she thought he was mummy and she doesn't know what do than the tears came.

Apparently, mommy looked like Tim only mommy had a bunch of pretty white fluffy in her hair and a lighting dancing on her face, but she extremely pretty and single to was Ellen's babbling about.

8 minutes in, a frantic pretty boy with mainly pepper flowing down salt like short hair came in, a 6 year old boy that look like him but white hair coated mainly piggybacking him that spotted him and Ellen, pointing at her.

"I found her first, i get to have The Death Pepper ice cream now!" Shriek out the 6 year old danta.

"Mommy!"

"Oh, thank ancients! Thank you for bringing her to the office here, mister..?" The supposedly Mummy glance his greenish blue baby-doll eyes at Tim, a strain of Lichtenberg figure spread upward from his neck to the forehead of his face as Ellen leaped into the arms of her mummy.

"Um- Tim Drake, and you are..?" Tim felt his face flush a bit as he stood up to shake hands with him.

"He is mummy, you dumb low-life bottom feeder!" Tiny fist waving as Danta imploded at him.

"Oh, biological speaking, yes. It's hard enough to get them to switch to Daddy, but it stuck onto me. My name is Danny Nightingale, and I appreciate that you found my little girl before I ranshake the entire aquarium like a pirate for buried treasure for her." Danny spoke softly, joking at the end, carefully holding Ellen, who snuggled her face against his chest like she did earlier with Tim.

"Yeah, she cling onto me harder than the octopus from Finding Dory when she thought I was you after I lost my own group." Tim said back, softly joking back while he sipped and choked his coffee as Ellen beamed about how Mister Tim got her two whale cookies with the blue eyes she wanted earlier and quietly failed at mumbling on can they keep him?

"Interesting.. well, she seemed attached to you, and you seem to be reliable enough to distract her from causing mayham. If you ever wanted to babysit for me, you can have my number?" Danny said, pulling out clownfish theme napkin and taking a pen from the office free pen jar.

'Wait, what?' Is what Tim thought to himself after Danny said his goodbyes, Danta sticking his tongue out, and Ellen cutely waving bye-bye as they left.

The napkin he was holding in his hand had an apartment address and a number contact along with a winking face and clumsily childish doodle of snowflakes, fire, and Dory fish next to it.

Bruce and the batfam came in the office seconds later after Tim pocket the contact info.

Might end up with a part 2. Idk yet

Okay, instead of Clockwork disliking the Speedsters, he's actually loving them cuz they made his work so fun and interesting, I mean, he knows everything and he also knows that the Speedsters would fix it sooner or later and the timeline would be alright.

And the plus side of it all, is that he gets to see it in his cog mirror shaped portal thing directly with popcorn in hand.

The dramas, the angst, the comedy, the romance and things. Its just a full blown telenovela to him.

So when the day came where he finally found a smidge of time to go on a vacation, he brought Danny with him, so much for the boy's confusion in Clockwork's sudden invitation to drag him along to Gotham then to space of all place.

Turns out, Clockwork just needed the 'human' Danny for a sec and trolled around in the watchtower that he got a human hostage while Danny was just confused as hell as to what's happening.

Danny: Clockwork??? Hello??? What's happening?!?

Clockwork and his cryptid speech: Unnatural of a fog, the forest has changed. This time, the flow of the clock is mine.

Danny:.... WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT??!?

And then the JL just thinking that the human is in distress from being a hostage by this entity while Clockwork just wants to have fun.

And this is why the Observants wants to keep Clockwork at bay because of his trolling tendencies.

Listen, if I had the time I would just make Justice Leauge the mockumentary, lol.

SNITCHES THE CAT SEQUEL pt1 and masterpost

Part Two/Part Three/ Part Four/ Part Five/ Part Six/ Part Seven/ Part Eight Part Nine Part Ten Part Eleven

Part One

“This you?”

Danny pushed the newspaper down without looking at it, revealing Sam’s shitty grin. “That lost cat is not me, no.” He rolled his eyes. They had been showing him lost pet ads ever since he got back from Gotham. “Isn’t that joke getting old, guys?” He kicked his way further into a slouch in the booth as Tucker came back with refilled drinks.

Tucker laughed, and then there was a silence. “Danny? Are you sure this isn’t you, man?” He sounded uncertain.

He felt his jaw twitch and he had to tell his friend off. “Is it that funny that there’s a sad kid out there? Honestly, guys-” Danny opened his eyes fully to roll them and then saw the lost pet ad being brandished in his face. He blinked at it. His brain did a full reboot and he reached out to take the paper. 

It looked like him, sleeping on the cushion in the batcave. Had they gotten that photo from the security footage? “It’s me.” His voice came out way too high.

Danny pulled the paper over in disbelief and realized that it was a two page ad. “Oh wow,” he said faintly. There he was, leaping across the kitchen. And there, that must have been taken by Damian when he fell asleep on the bed. There was a cat toy partially in the frame.

Sam’s snorting laughter cut off. “Uh.” She kicked him lightly under the table. “Is.. Is that little kid going to be okay?” She asked in a small voice. She sounded like she felt bad for poking fun. 

Danny felt guilty. He stared at the evidence that Robin was missing his cat terribly and felt like the biggest jackass possible. “Should I go back?” he wondered. He squirmed, pulling a foot up onto the bench to perch on. “I mean… How long does a cat live? A few years?”

“Try about twenty,” Tucker said flatly. “I feel bad too, man, but you can’t defer admission that long.”

“Though Snitches was clearly not a little kitten, so you could really just give it a couple years,” Sam mused. Both boys stared at her. She blinked. “Not that I’m suggesting you do that!” She waved her hands at them. “The longer you stay with him, the harder he’s going to take it when his pet ‘dies’,” she said with finger quotes. “You did the right thing by leaving as soon as you could.”

“Maybe we could answer it, do a photoshoot, tell him that Danny was your cat or something and he’s come home,” Tucker mused. “He’d be sad that he couldn’t have the cat, but surely it would be better than worrying the cat died, right?”

“What are you losers talking about?” Star said, giving their booth a wide berth. “You’re not hurting cats now, are you, weirdos?” She eyed them like they were gross. “It would figure.”

“Fuck off,” Sam said pleasantly. All three of them gave Star a rude gesture in unison, just like they had practiced. “That shit’s uncalled for.”

Star sniffled and turned away on her heel, cheer skirt flouncing behind her. A few moments later she clearly reached her table because the sounds of popular kid conversation got a lot louder.

“She should be a reporter,” Sam said darkly. “I would love for her to get sued for slander.” She snapped open her clutch and began applying even more black eyeliner, as if that would differentiate her from the other girls in the restaurant.

Tucker groaned and pulled his hat down over his eyes in despair. “That’s gonna be a bad rumor,” he complained. 

Danny couldn’t find it in him to care as much as he usually would. He was still stuck on the fact that Damian had put an ad in the Illinois Times. “Do you think he realized that Snitches got on a highway bus to Illinois?” he hissed, now aware that other people might be listening in. “How would he know that?”

Sam frowned. Tucker lifted his head and pulled out his phone to search. “That’s a good question,” he said to himself. He hit buttons rapidly. “Uh, same ad is in…” He trailed off. “Hold up, hold up, lemme search this backwards…” Whatever he saw had him raise his eyebrows high, look at Danny in disbelief, and then shake his head slightly. “You must be a really good cat. I'm kind of jealous.”

“What?” Danny hissed. “Just tell me.”

“Hey, hey, paws off.” Tucker moved his device further away. “Uh, this poor kid- well.” He paused. “Poor is the wrong word. He’s put ads in newspapers all the way up to Ontario and down to… Well, in Mexico at least.”

Danny and Sam stared at him in disbelief. “You’re fucking with us,” Sam said after a long moment.

Tucker silently shook his head. “There’s a nationwide Greg’s list ad,” he said grimly. “20 dollars an hour to print and staple missing cat photos to telephone poles. And a private detective’s agency on the case, asking for witnesses to come forward.”

Danny put his head in his hands. “I have to go back,” he said, haunted by the responsibility. “I can’t let him be this sad.”

“Danny, no.” Tucker said. Sam nodded her agreement. 

“…Yeah, that’s crazy,” he said unconvincingly. He gave a fake laugh. “He’ll get over it.” Danny stared into his drink, watching bubbles. Robin was not going to get over it. That kid loved hard.

“I could use 20 dollars an hour,” Tucker said in a thoughtful tone.

“No,” Sam said flatly.

Tucker shrugged, smiling slightly. “I wonder how much I’d get for bringing you back.” He shrugged theatrically. “You could send me to college, man! Don’t you want me to go to college?”

“No…” Danny said weakly. “I… Is that fraud?” Still. Money would be nice.

“Guys, no.” Sam knocked them both in the head with the pile of napkins. “You can’t do that to this little kid. He’s clearly not well.”

“Exactly,” Tucker argued passionately. “Imagine how happy he would be to get his cat back! We could reunite him with his pet!”

It was tempting. He felt, like, so bad about how sad Robin was. The little guy had been so proud of his pet. Danny could spare a few years to make a little kid happy, right? It was kind of greedy otherwise.

Danny stared at the bubbles in his drink again, really thinking it over. “I think I would have to fight crime with him,” he said dully. “That’s a minus.”

“Danny?” Sam rapped the table with her fingers. He looked up to see her pointed eyebrow raise. “What are you talking about?”

He hunched his shoulders up. “Nothing, nothing,” he lied hastily. He forgot they didn’t know. He couldn’t dox someone’s crime fighting identity, though, it would be really unfair. 

“You could buy me a house,” Tucker wheedled. Sam hit him.

Danny keeps on meeting Brucie Wayne at Galas when he goes to keep Sam company. He hates the man. There is no adoption, no adoption jokes, he never meets Batman. Give me Danny Fenton and his unending beef with Brucie Wayne. Bruce finds this absolutely hilarious. This feisty 14 year old is incredibly fun to antagonize.

I want to scream and cry so bad, my mom just told me that my cousins are coming to be the afternoon with me, and I swear over my life that I love my cousins, but I am tired, and I feel that my mom is trying to push my limit, I'm not the most social person in my circle, I actually would love a lot more to just stay in my room, sleeping, and doing nothing but stare at the ceiling for hours, my mom knows that I don't like to talk, but noooooo, I have to fucking socialize, and my social batery is already fucking empty, just trow me to the floor with a plushie and I swear I'll be more happy than a clam in high tide! And in general, I would be happy to talk to my cousins, but this week I have had to socialize more than usual, it is annoying to have to talk when I don't even have the energy to get out of bed.

DP x DC

Of which Vlad IS related to Bruce

Their Bat-ness must have came from a common ancestor. And that adoption thing.

But anyways.

Imagine Vlad contacting Bruce with his fam out of the blue, asking BRUCIE, HI NICE TO TALK TO YOU AFTER LONG PERIODS OF ABSENCE BUT IVE A QUESTION THAT NEEDS TO BE ANSWERED FOR MY KWN SAKE- how do you get your children to be civil with you???

Bruce: ... I am not aware you adopted kids Vladdie?

Batfam, listening to the conversation: it's cute that Masters tot we're civil to Bruce at all times lol

Vlad: Currently I have my godson with me and he's acting a lot like a combination of your sons in gala disasters.

Bruce: which gala disasters you're talking about? Coz you know we have the Rogues attacking galas aaaaallll the time-

Vlad: you know what I mean, cousin. Richard in the chandeliers, little Damian stabbing the handsy ones, Timothy making people cry left and right between his blackmails and "conspiracy theories"-

Bruce: (tries to imagine all that Feral in one body and failing)

Batfam: (omg new cousin sounds lit)

Vlad: so yes Brucie, I need some advice, please and thank you.

(Unseen: Danny gnawing his leg)