Hunger Games Didn’t Really Eat Holes In My Brain The Way That It Did For Some Other People But God

I’m just imaging an AU where Padme’s pregnancy didn’t have to be a secret and Anakin is trying to pick out names for the baby so he asks his men for ideas, and the clones, of course, throw out names like

“Zapper!”

“Sling!”

“Bomber!”

“Kickback!”

Anakin is internally screaming, but he doesn’t want to insult them by saying those are terrible names so he’s just like, “…thanks, guys.”

look I know neil’s time in evermore was Bad and traumatic ik but nothing is funnier to me than the idea of a disgruntled jean moreau with a l’oreal box dye and a deathwish and no fucking clue how to even begin

jean, muttering: these instructions are in english and french and I still don’t know what I’m supposed to do with the second bottle

neil: fucking drink it you french bastard

ATLA characters as royalty

this was…kind of a warmup writing exercise that I ended up liking more than I thought I would, so enjoy?

Aang: A lost prince, a ghost prince, a prince who will never take the throne. A palace with open windows; a fountain that has run dry. He carries an unused blade at his side, its hilt wrapped in cloth instead of leather.

Katara: A queen with too many connections, weaving a web of human life. A satchel lying open on her desk, spilling medicines and poisons over the floor. Folded letters in her cloak. Healer’s hands, stained with blood. A dagger she chooses not to draw.

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“Obi-Wan picked up Anakin’s lightsaber. He lifted his own as well, weighting them in his hands. Anakin had based his design upon Obi-Wan’s. So similar they were. “

Afsjshs u posted about Wild Space again! Its been a while since Wild Space was last talked abt in ur blog, a little surprising because it is Prime Prequel Content™. Literally the best most wildest fantastic ridiculous and greatest star wars book to ever be written, period.

This is highly entertaining because I feel like I talk about it A LOT. 😄

That said, I agree. It was high time to bring it up again, even if I didn’t have new content to share. What a joyride that book is! I laughed out loud rereading those recap entries I wrote because A) we all know I make myself laugh, and B) I had totally forgotten about this part where Obi-Wan does some Shirtless Hot Yoga: 

😂I mean…honestly. 

Oh ALSO: every person in this book is The Worst and I am here for it. Obi-Wan almost dies on every other page and yet keeps refusing to sleep for 15 minutes or take Advil (and he is COMPLETELY preoccupied with Anakin every second of his life, and eventually WAKES UP SCREAMING ANAKIN’S NAME at one point while Bail Organa understandably almost dies of amusement), Padme spends pretty much the whole book with her hand thrown dramatically against her forehead as she vows that her Special and Powerful Wuv will fix all of Anakin’s Bad Choice-Making, Those Mean Naysayers Be Damned! (spoiler alert: NOPE), the Order gossips about eeeeeeeevvvvvveerryone, Palpatine spends EVERY CONVERSATION HE HAS WITH ANYBODY thinking about how great it’s going to be when that person is dead, and Anakin. ANAKIN. He wins Best Worst, including: 

the scene where he rushes to Obi-Wan’s bedside after one of the times when Obi-Wan almost dies and is like “hey fuck all this I hate everyone why are you all always asking me to do stuff but also HOW DARE YOU insinuate that I CAN’T do all the stuff and also remember when my hand got cut off BECAUSE I DO” and his tantrum causes Obi-Wan to like, almost have a heart attack on his already-death bed and then Anakin is like WAIT MASTER NO DON’T DIE NO ONE LOVES ME LIKE YOU DO and clutches Obi-Wan’s hand like he’s an expiring coma patient in a soap opera, and a doctor almost has to drag him out of the room 

the fact that when he and Padme are eating space grapes in bed, ANAKIN is the one being fed like he’s a fancy princess because of course

He goes to the Council Room to tell them Dramatic and Surprising Information, and when one person is like “wow, really?!” in response to this, Anakin flips his shit on them and is like OH I SEE HOW IT IS YOU DON’T BELIEVE ME OR OBI-WAN FUCK YOU GUYS and later Mace is like “…wow, that guy? Is a pain in the ass” and I’m like SAME, MACE. SAME. 

he gets annoyed thinking about how Obes is such a Rules-Follower and this naturally morphs into what REALLY reads like him wishing he and Padme could have a three-way with him 

Anakin is mid-Dramatic Farewell Makeout with Padme and practically shoves her off a balcony to go rescue Obi-Wan after sensing that he’s in danger, literally seconds after thinking about how much Obi-Wan annoys him and how he’s wrong about everything 

he has a hissy fit in the hallway at Ahsoka (who did something egregious like say hello to him or whatever) and when people stop to stare at a grown-ass man yelling at his teenage student he thinks to himself that everyone there is UGH ALWAYS so super invested in his personal business because he’s the Chosen One as opposed to, you know, the fact that he’s a grown-ass man making a scene in public 

I don’t think I have ever enjoyed reading a Star Wars book more. It genuinely delights me. 😄

Clark: So what do all of your sidekicks bring to the table

Bruce:?

Hal: Yeah, what is all their specialties? Something tells me you dont keep them around for the comapny.

Bruce: Well Nightwing is the worlds best acrobat. Oracle is one of the worlds best hackers. Red Hood is a marksman. Red Robin is the world's second best detective, while Orphan is one of the worlds best trained fighters. Robin is my biological son so theres not really a choice there anyway. Does that suffice Jordan?

Hal: What about the other one?

Bruce: Signal is on daytime patrol, so he was preoccupied.

Hal: No the other other one

Bruce: My gay, army trained cousin?

Clark: I think he means the purple one raiding our breakfast buffet

Bruce: Oh

Bruce: She's moral support

Star Wars Battlefront II - Heroes vs Villains

#SKYWALKER FAMILY IS HERE TO KICK YOUR ASS, SHIT LORDS

Aeschylus, Agamemnon (tr. by Anne Carson)

Nah fam it wouldn’t’ve died, she mighta won but she ain’t gonna die.

That bitch has the gayest fucking energy fueling her and not even the fucking lord could take that away. The only way Bella “dumbass” Swan is going to die is of her own stupid volition.

twilight au where Bella’s already an adrenaline junkie when she gets to Forks. she secured her infamy by parkouring off the main school building